by Woods, Karen
Diving back in the bed Vicky tried to warm herself. Her skin was cold and small goose pimples were visible on her pale arms. Her legs could be seen rummaging about under the covers. The sound of her son’s high pitched screams caused her to hide her head under the blankets further. “Shut up, shut up,” she gasped under her breath. Vicky knew he would be back in her room pretty soon and made sure she wasn’t in view. All of her body was covered with the blankets. The sound of him kicking his bedroom door could be heard throughout the house and the usual abuse he gave her was filtering through the walls. Vicky lifted her head up from the covers after a few minutes. It was quiet. Holding her ear to the door she listened carefully with a look of concern on her face. Her body fell back onto the bed. Her mind was doing overtime and she remembered the last time she’d left him after a tantrum that he’d smeared her nail polish all over the walls.
Jumping to her feet she yelled his name. “Declan, what are you up to? If you’re fucking about, again, I’m gonna smack your arse until its red raw.” There was still no reply. Pushing the bedroom door open slowly she could see him sat on his bed with a smile on his face. Her eyes shot about the bedroom. The window was opened fully and the curtain was blowing wildly from it. She screwed her face up at him. Vicky clenched her fist and was getting ready to pummel him. He’d pushed her too far this time.
As she headed towards him he shouted out in a giddy voice. “Daddy’s here!”
Vicky shook her head and walked to his bedside. “I’m sick to death of you, you’re gonna get it now.” The sound of the bedroom door shutting behind her made her turn her head. Her face was white and she lost her balance and fell onto the bed.
“Blake,” she gasped. Her breathing was rapid and her chest was moving up and down frantically. “How did you get in here?” she stuttered. Blake just looked at her and nodded his head, he looked disturbed.
Vicky bolted up from the bed and stood tall; she had to show him she wasn’t scared. She gripped her son in her arms and pierced her eyes into his face. Blake looked demented, his look was frightening her. Her breathing was struggled and Declan was trying to break free to get to his dad. Blake bent his legs down and held his hands out to his son. “Come on then lad, let’s have a cuddle.” Declan wriggled free from his mother’s arms and ran towards his father. Vicky was left feeling vulnerable; she was an easy target now. Pulling her t-shirt over her legs you could see she was cold, her legs were purple. Her lips were trembling as she spoke.
“What are you doing here, Blake?”
He picked his son up from the floor. Swinging him round by his body he darted his eyes into her. He was gritting his teeth. “I’m here to get my family back. I told you I would come for you didn’t I?” he snapped
Vicky sighed. “Blake you’ve broken into my house. I’m going to phone the police if you don’t leave. I’ve told you before, it’s over between us.” She sat cracking her knuckles, her lips looked dry as she slowly slid her tongue over them. Blake coughed and put his son back to the floor.
Opening the door he told him to go downstairs to get some biscuits. Declan was toddling past him without a care in the world. “Do you want a biscuit daddy?” Blake smirked at him and nodded. Declan could be seen walking down the stairs. Vicky knew she was in deep shit.
“So, let’s get this sorted then.” Blake moved towards her and sat on the edge of the bed by her side. Her legs were jerking up and down and she knew by his face she was in serious danger. Standing to her feet she tried to walk past him. His face screwed up as one of his hands grabbed at her. You could see white patches appearing on her skin as his grip tightened. “Sit fucking down there, you stupid cow.” He grinded his teeth together and dragged her back onto the bed. Her head swung to the side as his fist pummelled into the side of her face. Blood spurted from her nose as his fist connected. Vicky tried to scream but it was no good. His large hands reached over her mouth as his teeth bit into her cheeks. “Did you think you could just treat me like a prick, and think you would get away with it? I told you I’d be back, you daft slag.” His fist was pounding into her body.
The sound of Declan bouncing back up the stairs could be heard. Blake spat into her face and jumped up from her body. The door opened and Declan was stood with a handful of biscuits. The side of his mouth was covered in chocolate and he was speaking with a mouthful of food. “Why’s my mummy crying?” he walked nearer to Vicky. “What’s all that red over your face, mummy?” Blake quickly dragged the white sheet from the bed and covered Vicky’s face.
“Get cleaned up,” he whispered. Vicky was trembling and her hands were shaking as the white cotton sheet filled with the pumping blood from her nose. The sound of her mobile ringing from the other room could be heard. “I’ll get it mummy,” Declan shouted. Vicky’s face dropped. Her mouth was open but no words were coming out. It was too late he was gone.
Declan walked back into the bedroom. The phone had stopped ringing. Walking towards her he held the phone out, Blake gripped it. “Thanks Son.” Looking at Vicky he held a menacing look in his eyes. His fingers pressed the button on the phone. As he flicked down the messages he raised his eyes towards her. Sliding down onto the floor, you could see him going through all her text messages. Blake was biting down on his lip and you could see his fist clenching. His head lifted up and he stared at her nodding his head.
“Declan you go and put a film on downstairs. Daddy wants to talk to mummy for a while.”
Vicky jumped up from the bed. She knew if she let her child go she would be in big trouble. “No,” she screamed.
“He can’t turn the telly on himself. I’ll have to do it for him.” Picking Declan up in her arms she held him close to her body. Blake bolted up from the floor and was right beside her. His eyes were all over the place and he was making sure there was no escape for his cheating girlfriend. The mobile phone was still held tightly in his grip.
Walking into the front room, Vicky opened the curtains. Casting her eyes out of the window she hoped she would see someone she knew and beg them for help. No one was about. The blood was still pouring from her nose, holding the blanket tightly next to it she bent down to turn the TV on. The phone started ringing again. Vicky gasped and looked about the front room. Blake held it up to her. His face was angry.
“It’s Tim.” Vicky swallowed hard. “Who the fuck is Tim?” he growled. Walking out of the room she went into the kitchen. He was behind her and she could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck. Shoving the phone into her face he ranted at her. “Go on fucking answer it.” Dragging her hair he rammed the phone to her ear. You could hear Tim’s voice at the end of the line shouting her name but she remained silent. Blake was on top of her now and the phone was flung against the wall. He was kicking ten tons of shit out of her. “Is this your new guy, fucking Tim?” his hands were dragging her all over the place. “I swear to you Vicky, I’ll kill you both.” Vicky cowered in the corner of the room holding her two hands over her head. He was beating her bad.
The kitchen was quiet and Vicky lay on the floor barely breathing. Blake sat behind the door and you could hear Declan crying to come inside. “Hold on a minute son, go back in the living room and play with your toys, I’ll be with you in a minute.” Walking over to Vicky he kicked at her body softly. “It’s what you deserve you lying slut. You should thank your lucky stars I haven’t finished you off, because I could have, yanno.” His deep breathing could be heard and he kept sniffing loudly. Dropping to the floor he stroked her hair as he watched her sobbing at the side of him. “Turn over so I can see you face, Vicky.” She didn’t move at first but after he raised his voice again, she struggled to obey him. Groaning could be heard as she rolled over. Her face was a mess and her eyes were barely opened. Vicky’s face looked like it had swelled twice its normal size. Blake shook his head as he looked at her. “See what you’ve made me do.” His hands dragged through his hair and he was sweating. “I’ve sat in my cell for months going over in my head, all the things I
was going to do to you. This is what you deserve,” he sighed. “You’ve got off lightly, I can tell you.” He leant in towards her face and whispered into her ear. “I planned to kill you, yanno.”
He pulled his head back up and rested it on the cream painted walls. Slowly he banged his head against it. “Fucking why, why?” he mumbled. Tears fell from his eyes and he cupped his face into his hands. “I thought you loved me Vicky, how can you give up on us just at the drop of a hat. We have a kid together.”
Declan was booting the door with force and screaming. “Let me in you bastards.” The child’s temper was broken and he wasn’t giving up for love nor money.
Blake screwed his face up and jumped to his feet. Dragging the door open he snapped at his son. “Who are you calling bastards?” Declan dropped his head and was trying to get past his father but he was having none of it.
Blake dragged his hand and swung him up onto his body. Snarling into his face he scared the life out of the young boy. “Don’t let me ever hear you saying that word again.”
Declan was wriggling free. He was bawling his eyes out now. “Mummy mummy,” he shrieked.
Vicky sat in the front room on a chair. Declan was sat next to her and the both of them looked scared to death. Blake made her put a bag of frozen chips on her face to stop the swelling, she struggled to hold it. The TV was switched on and even though the three of them were watching it none of them looked interested in it.
Blake’s eyes were all over Vicky. Declan looked tired. He’d cried for hours now and it was finally taking its toll on him. Vicky forced herself up and placed him on the sofa nearby. He gave out a little moan but he finally settled back to sleep. Blake stood from his chair and sat on the floor facing her. His head was dropped between his legs and he held his chin in his hands. Blake was all skin and bone. His skin looked grey and you could see in his eyes that the time he’d spent in prison hadn’t been easy. “I got out yesterday,” he spoke in a low voice. “I won my appeal.” Twisting his fingers nervously he reached over and stroked her hand softly. “If you tell him it’s over, we can start again.” Her eyes welled up as she looked at him. She shook her head as tears trickled down her cheeks. As he watched her reject him his face changed. She tried to backpedal knowing he was on the edge.
“Blake we want different things now. I can’t live my life waiting for you in prison all the time. I loved you with all my heart, and you let me down big time.” Her tears streamed down her face. “It’s been so hard on my own. I’ve been to hell and back. You’re okay in prison; three meals a day, no bills, no worry where you’re gonna get money from, for electric and that.”
“I worried about you and Declan every day,” Blake protested, “don’t think for one minute it was easy for me,” he sighed with his hands held out in front of him.
She carried on speaking. “I can’t do us anymore Blake. I need more.”
“I’ll change,” he sobbed as he sat on the arm of the chair.
Vicky looked like a woman twice her age as she tried to pull her aching body up. Taking a moment to gather her breath she placed one hand on her hip. “I’ve got a chance at life Blake. Me and Declan can be happy. Why don’t you just move on?”
Blake fell to the floor like butter melting from hot toast. His shoulders were shaking as he broke his heart crying. “I did it all for us Vicky, everything I did was to give us a better life.”
“No,” she yelled. “You did what you did, for you. You made sure you were okay and then if anything was left that’s when you thought about us.” He lifted his head up as she continued, he was a broken man. “Even when I was pregnant I had to find the money myself, you didn’t give a fucking shit.” Vicky’s face changed as a sharp pain surged through her body. Holding one hand on the wall she keeled over in pain.
Blake looked at her and jumped to his feet. “Orr baby, are you okay.”
“Take your fucking hands off me. It’s because of you that I’m like this.” She was panting.
“Vicky please give me one last chance, let me prove I can change.”
“Never in a month of Sundays. I’m thinking about me and my son now, no one else. If you’re gonna kill me then get it over with, because there is no way I’m going back with you.”
“Oh what’s lover boy promised you. He’s just using you for a shag you daft bastard. Are you right in the head,” his finger was ramming into the side of her head. “Men say anything to get into your knickers Vicky, you need to get a grip and take off your rose-tinted glasses. He’s using you for a leg- over.”
“You don’t know shit about him. I’ve not even slept with him yet, he’s in prison.”
Blake’s face dropped. His jaw was swinging as he tried to run her words through his mind. He was stuttering. “What, who’s in prison, you mean you’ve met a fucking prisoner?” Vicky nodded. Her arms gripped tightly around her body.
Blake was pacing the floor again when her mobile phone started ringing. His eyes and ears were all over the show and he ran back into the kitchen to find it. The back of the phone was in bits on the floor but it was still working. His hand stretched under the kitchen table to get at it. Casting his eyes at the screen he could see Tim’s name again. Dragging it out from under the table he pressed the green answer button and held the phone to his ear. “Vicky is that you. What’s going on love, I’m worried about you.” Blake held his hand over his heart and his nostrils were flaring. He listened further as the voice continued. “Vicky I love you yanno, and if all this is because Susie’s been on the scene, I can tell you one hundred and ten percent that she means fuck all to me. Vicky please speak to me baby. I love you.” Blake dropped the phone to the ground and stamped all over it. He was jumping high in the air and making sure the phone would never work again. Sinking to his knees he cried like a baby. His fists were punching into the vinyl tiles and his legs were all over the place.
Vicky was in the front room, Declan had just woken up and she held him in her arms as she struggled to get the key in the backdoor. Her heart was pounding and she couldn’t get the key inside the lock quick enough. The gold keys were rattling in her hands and her son was moaning because he’d just woken up. “Are we going out,” he shouted in a loud voice. Before she could answer him she felt Blake’s hand on her wrist. Her escape was over. The look in his eyes told her to do what he said. Jerking his head back she knew she’d have to go back into the front room. There was no escape.
The room was filled with cigarette smoke. The pair of them were chain-smoking. Declan was watching a DVD and sat quietly for a change. Vicky was in pain and every movement she made was hard. Blake just sat staring into space, he seemed in deep thought. Stubbing his cig out into the ashtray he gazed at her. “Vicky we can make it work, whatever he’s promising you is a load of shit. I’m here now, I can look after you. Give me a chance, for crying out loud.”
Vicky seemed quiet. Searching in her bag at the side of the chair she pulled out a wad of cash. Waving it about in the air she threw it over to him. “I can earn cash like this every day. I don’t need any man.”
His face screwed up as he focused on the notes lying on the floor. “Yeah but what are you doing to earn the money, are you selling your fanny?” He was hanging onto her every word.
“Am I fuck selling my fanny ya nobhead. What kind of girl do ya think I am?”
Blake huffed as he blew his breath into his fist. “Vicky I don’t know you anymore, you could be into anything these days.” Biting down onto her bottom lip she shrugged her shoulders. Who the fuck did he think he was? She was going to wipe the smile right from his face.
Clearing her throat she began to speak. “I get drugs into the prisons. I organise the drops for the lads.” He darted from his seat.
The penny had dropped at last. “It’s that fucking Tim who I gave the drugs to last time innit? You’re shagging him aren’t ya?”
Vicky held a cocky look on her face. “He’s in prison, prick, so how do you work that out.”
Blake was bouncing about the room waving his hands in front of his face. “How have you got in with him? You don’t even know the piss taking cunt.”
Vicky knew she should have kept her mouth shut but she couldn’t help but tell him the truth. Once he knew how they’d met he sat on the chair facing her, he was stuttering. “Vicky, we can run this thing together. Me and you, no one else. This guy Tim is taking the piss out of you, please see that.” Vicky was listening to him as he carried on. “Let’s have him over; we can start again somewhere new, let’s move away.” She liked what he was saying, it was all making sense now, he was right, Tim was just another man sat in the nick chatting shit to her. If he loved her, why was Susie still going to see him? Grabbing another cig from her packet she encouraged Blake to continue. Dragging his grey tracksuit jacket from his body he sat on the chair next to her. “Baby let’s start over. Tell me how you get the drugs for him and all that.”
Vicky took a long drag of her cig, she was telling him everything. “He just gets it dropped off here for me. It’s already bagged up; all I do is hand it to whoever’s taking the drugs into the jail. He gives me the money to pay them too, there’s a bent screw who sorts it out so they don’t get caught.”
Blake placed his hand on her lap. Softly stroking it, he looked at the state of her face. “Vicky I swear to you now, I’ll never lay a finger on you again. I’ll be everything you want me to be,” his eyes looked over to his son. “Just think Declan will have a good life away from this shit-hole.” He was working his magic on her now and she believed every word he was saying. “If we plan this right we can make a good butty and have enough to get off from round here. Trust me baby, please, we can make it work.” Vicky nodded her head. He was making sense.