‘Thanks for the support,’ Rachel said to Aiden, as they walked home. Milly and Zak walked up the street ahead of them.
‘What?’ Aiden said, putting his phone away and looking up. ‘What support?’
‘Exactly. Did you even hear what Milly said back there?’
‘Something about Skipley?’ Aiden said, still looking distracted. ‘I had to let Simon know about Jay’s furniture, send over his website so we can start to look at a time frame.’
‘She hates it. And on top of that, she seems to think I’m the most boring mother in the world – nothing like Laurie, apparently.’
‘I guess Laurie is quite young, isn’t she, in her way?’
‘What do you mean?’ Rachel snapped.
‘I just mean I can see why Milly gets on with her, admires her or whatever. And there’s the whole fashion thing they have in common.’
Rachel ignored his comment. ‘There’s a boy,’ Rachel said, ‘someone in Milly’s life – I heard her talking with Nikki about it. I’m wondering if that’s why she’s been acting differently.’
‘A boy?’ Aiden said.
‘Yes—’ Aiden’s phone rang in his pocket and he took it out and answered. Rachel sighed.
‘Simon, hi – yes, what do you think? The finish is outstanding. I’m thinking if we offer them some quality bespoke pieces, they might forgive an extra few days on the schedule. Jay says he can work quickly …’
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Hi Carter,
I’ve thought about what you said and I’m sorry if I upset you. I didn’t fancy any of Nikki’s friends, I promise! I guess it was stupid of me, writing that message. I should have seen you could take it the wrong way. But I haven’t been thinking about anyone but you. Here’s my mobile, by the way: 07834 384347.
I hope you are OK.
Milly x
The next day, Thursday, Rachel poured Zak some Rice Krispies and milk into a bowl and made a pot of strong coffee. She flicked on the kitchen radio, and turned it up.
‘Ten shopping days till Christmas,’ the DJ announced jauntily. ‘How ready are you feeling?’ Rachel poured coffee into her mug and took a seat next to Zak. ‘Here, to get you in the mood, is a little song by Slade …’
‘When are we going home, Mummy?’ Zak said, loading up his spoon. Rachel had known the words would come at some point, but as he looked at her, wide-eyed, there was still a tug at her heart. ‘It’s nearly Christmas, isn’t it?’
She thought of what they’d be doing if they were back in Skipley – they’d have bought a tree by now, and would be decorating it as a family.
‘You like it here, don’t you?’ Rachel said, taking a sip of coffee and trying to lighten the mood. ‘And we’ve still got the dinosaurs to go and see.’
‘I do like it,’ Zak said. ‘And I guess I do want to see the dinosaurs. But we don’t have a Christmas tree. It’s not really much like Christmas.’
‘I know, darling,’ Rachel said, touching his arm. ‘I’m sorry. I know it’s not like usual. We’re going to go home just as soon as we can. But Granny Bea needs us down here right now.’
A knock came at the front door and Rachel got up to answer it, giving Zak a kiss on his head. She opened the door to find a young delivery man on the landing in front of her, holding a bunch of silver helium balloons.
‘Balloons for you,’ he said with a smile, holding out an electronic pad in Rachel’s direction. ‘Could you sign for them please?’
‘Oh no,’ she said, smiling in surprise. ‘I mean, yes, of course I can sign for them, but they’re not for me – they must be for my mother-in-law.’
She signed the pad and handed it back. The delivery man took it and checked his clipboard.
‘“For Milly”, it says here.’
‘Milly?’
‘Yep, that’s what it says. Merry Christmas,’ he said, passing the silver-ribboned bunch of balloons to her.
‘And to you too.’
Confused, Rachel took the balloons to her daughter’s room. She thought again of the snatch of conversation she’d heard between Milly and Nikki. There was ‘a guy’, someone in Milly’s life, that she wasn’t telling any of them about. And this was the proof. She tried to recall any names Milly had mentioned, boys at her new school – no one came to mind.
Milly answered the door, bleary-eyed with sleep. ‘Balloons,’ she said, looking at them in puzzlement.
‘They’re for you,’ Rachel said, passing them over. They bobbed against the ceiling and Milly searched among the ribbons for a note. She finally found the envelope and opened it, reading the note inside.
‘Who are they from?’ Rachel asked.
‘No one,’ Milly replied.
‘No one?’ Rachel said.
‘What, Mum?’ Milly snapped. ‘Why do you have to be so nosy?’
Rachel felt a flush rising to her chest. Anger and hurt competed inside her. ‘You used to tell me things, Milly,’ she said. ‘I know you need your space, but do you have to shut me out all the time?’
‘It’s none of your business,’ Milly hissed, slamming the door in Rachel’s face.
Milly, Did you like your balloon surprise? Cx
Yes, thank you x
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Pretty short text – maybe email was better after all … So are you coming home soon? I want to see you on Christmas Eve.
Carter
Aiden was in the shower. Rachel sat down on their bed and pulled her folded pyjamas out from under her pillow. On autopilot, she took off her jewellery and got undressed, throwing her clothes in the laundry, and slipped into her pyjamas. Pulling off her hairband, she shook her hair loose, then brushed through it quickly, then massaged night cream into her face. She thought of the way Milly had spoken to her. It still stung. Had she pushed things too far? Should she be giving Milly more privacy? Without Aiden to talk to about it she’d lost all perspective.
Perhaps just a chapter or two of a novel, to help her nod off, she thought. She scanned Laurie’s shelves; The Great Gatsby and One Day jostled for space among Vogue annuals and art books. Then she spotted that, tucked away, lying horizontally across the top of the other books and pushed towards the wall, incongruous with Laurie’s minimalist style, was a battered paperback copy of Jilly Cooper’s Riders.
Rachel pulled it from the shelf, smiling to herself as memories flooded back. She and Laurie must have been about fifteen, around Milly’s age, when they’d read it – old enough to know better, but young enough to giggle over the naughty bits. Laurie had found it on her mum’s shelf and brought it into school, laughing at the cover – a woman in tight white riding trousers, a man’s hand on her buttock. Rachel was pretty sure it was the same copy – Laurie had hung on to it all this time. They used to sneak off to the girls’ toilets and read sections of it there. Hadn’t they scribbled some notes on the inside cover?
The noise of the shower stopped. Rachel opened the cover – they’d not only turned down the page corners, but given each sex scene a mark out of ten. She remembered how the metal doors of the other toilet cubicles had clanked shut again and again in the time that they’d been locked away in their own, reading.
Rachel flicked through the pages, a warm rush of nostalgia coming over her as she saw underlined phrases. When she got to the back page, she saw that there was a white envelope wedged in there. As she went to take it out, the bathroom door opened and she hurriedly tried to shove the book back on to the shelf. She felt like a naughty schoolkid. As she struggled to get the book back in place, the envelope inside fell to the floor.
She bent to pick it up from where it had landed on the carpet. Purple writing and hand-drawn hearts covered the back of it, and as she flipped it over, she instantly recognised Laurie’s rounded teenage handwriting, the ‘i’s dotted with little circles. Her breath caught as she read the name there: Aiden.
Rachel lay in bed next to
Aiden in the darkness, her heart racing, until she finally heard his breathing deepen. Slowly, she lifted the duvet, crept out of bed and went back to the bookshelf. She reached for the envelope she’d hidden in a rush.
She took it out to the kitchen so that she could read it in the light. As she saw Aiden’s name again, she tried to convince herself that there could still be an innocent explanation.
She undid the flap and took out the letter inside, two pages of lined A4 filled with Laurie’s teenage handwriting. It was as familiar to Rachel as her own: she’d received dozens of notes passed to her and ‘mysterious’ Valentine’s cards in the same neat, round hand, often in the same purple ink. Her eyes rushed over the words – and the hope she had been clinging to, that she might have jumped to the wrong conclusions, slipped away completely.
‘Hi Aiden,’ Rachel read.
I’m in Geography and you’re sitting right in front of me. Mr Evans has just told you off for messing around with Brandon, and writing on the desks. Now you’ve turned around and caught my eye, given me a smile. I love your smile. It brightens up my day. I can see how much you want to be alone with me, and well, I want that too – you’re nearly close enough to touch right now, but in this classroom we can’t do anything – it’s driving me crazy.
Rachel wanted desperately to be able to stop – her heart was thudding in her chest. But she couldn’t put the letter down. She had to read it all.
But it’s nearly the weekend, and I’ll see you at Sally’s house party. We can sneak away, find somewhere quiet. I can’t wait to be with you…
Then, finally, Rachel reached the end, Laurie’s signature and a row of hearts and kisses underneath.
Dazed, Rachel put the note away, and the envelope to one side on the counter, then sat down at the kitchen table. Through the fog that had settled in her mind, she tried to make sense of what she’d read, struggling to understand what had happened, and when. Had Laurie and Aiden been together before he’d been Rachel’s boyfriend – or, her mind raced and she bit her lip – had Aiden been with them at the same time?
Rachel battled to stay in control of her emotions. She and Aiden had a marriage, two much-loved children together – and whatever had happened with Laurie took place over twenty years ago, she reasoned. It was Rachel and Aiden’s marriage, not the teenage longing in the letter, that was real now. But however Rachel looked at it, the two people she’d thought she could trust most had lied to her, and it felt like the ultimate betrayal. Memories flashed back – the parties Laurie had gone to, which her parents hadn’t let her go to – the Geography class Laurie and Aiden had both been in. She remembered how, shortly before their GCSEs, Aiden and Laurie had come back from a school field trip in Wales, both full of stories about it – had they been together then?
The letter twisted everything Rachel had thought she knew. Aiden had mentioned, more than once, how good Laurie was looking, hadn’t he? How glamorous she was? And they’d had that evening alone together in Skipley … he’d hardly told her anything about it.
Eventually, with her head still spinning, Rachel forced herself to go back to bed. She hid the note back in the bookshelf where she’d found it and looked at her husband in bed, his chest rising gently as he slept. With Bea still in a coma, how could she confront him with what she’d read? She’d have to try and forget about it, for now at least. But, she thought, as she climbed into bed beside him – feeling a new distance from the man she loved – the thought of Aiden with someone else, not just anyone else – Laurie – was almost too much to bear.
No reply – again? I’m getting tired of this, Milly … We need to talk face to face. Don’t mess me around. If you do, you know I can let people know what you’re really like – I could do that pretty easily. C
CHAPTER 23
Friday 15th December
Laurie looked through her suitcase for something suitable to wear to Diana’s drinks. Patrick was going to be there – and she’d spent so much time slopping around in mud on their walk the other day. She was going to have to up the glamour level to compensate.
Most of her city clothes looked wrong in Skipley. But she remembered she had brought one thing with her, for emergency party use. It was a burgundy dress with sparkles on the deep V neckline. She slipped on sheer stockings and then tried on some matching shoes with towering heels – skyscraper high. Including them in her luggage had been serious wishful thinking – but she could get away with them tonight.
She couldn’t wait to see Patrick again. They’d talked a couple of times on the phone since their walk together on Wednesday. Her head and heart were at odds – her heart told her to let go, trust him, but her head told her to take things slowly, this time, get to know Patrick more before taking things further. While a few times she’d pretended otherwise, the truth was that she really, really wasn’t that great at one-night stands. That empty feeling of not being called the next day, intimacy disappearing in an instant – she knew it, and she didn’t want it again.
She brushed her sleek bob and fringe until her hair lay perfectly flat. Almost ready – but there was something missing. She scanned Rachel’s dressing table for some jewellery, and in a little wooden box found some long, silver drop earrings. Rachel wouldn’t mind, she thought, as she hooked them through the holes in her ears. They’d always borrowed each other’s stuff at school – it had been like having two wardrobes.
She applied liquid eyeliner in thick swooshes, and then layered mascara on to her already thick lashes. She took a step back and looked at herself in the full-length mirror. Not bad. She smiled.
Down in the kitchen Laurie found the plate of gingerbread Santas she’d made the night before. That week, with a few empty evenings in front of her now that she was staying longer in Skipley, she’d set herself the challenge of making one thing a day from Bea’s book. With the fire on, and Christmas tunes playing, baking was the perfect way to spend the time, she realised. It was strange – over the years she’d convinced herself she needed constant stimulation, parties, work, travel – that was what made her happy. But it wasn’t true after all. Home alone, with peace and quiet, and time to do things she enjoyed, she felt calm and content.
The kitchen was quickly filling up with stars and chocolate wreaths, and she’d even managed a Yule log – covering herself and every surface in chocolate in the process. Chocolate always made her break out in spots the next day, but as she’d licked the bowl she couldn’t have cared less – that was what concealer was for, she told herself. She placed a few of the gingerbread Santas carefully in cellophane and wrapped them with red ribbon, ready to take to Diana’s, together with a bottle of Baileys.
First party of the season, Laurie thought to herself, here I come.
Candles in glass jars lined the pathway up to Diana’s front door, and the Christmas wreath hanging on it was now woven through with delicate red lights.
As Laurie clattered up the path in her heels, Diana swung the front door open. ‘Hello!’ Diana called out, holding out a glass of champagne to greet her guest. Laurie took it gratefully and kissed Diana hello.
As Laurie stepped into the house, it was the warm, distinctly Christmassy, cinnamon and pine smell that hit her first. As she cast her eye around the house she let out a gasp of admiration. The staircase was garlanded with holly and ribboned with red lights just like the wreath on the door. Twirls of gold voile framed the fireplace and decorative branches woven with more lights were placed in pots around the living room and hallway. Diana’s home looked absolutely stunning.
Trays laden with pigs in blankets, mini Yorkshire puddings with beef and horseradish, blinis with smoked salmon and cream cheese lined the table in the living room. She spotted Joyce over in the corner and headed towards her. Joyce was wearing the top Laurie had customised for her, albeit with a tinsel headband that lowered the classy tone a bit. Laurie smiled and pointed at the top. ‘Suits you,’ she said. ‘I love the bow you sewed on,’ Joyce said, looking down and holding the fabric bow
out. ‘It makes me feel all sort of princessy.’
‘Impressive spread,’ Laurie said, looking around at the plates of food. Joyce laughed. ‘Our Diana’s never been one to do things by halves,’ she said. ‘And she’s invited half the village along tonight.’ Laurie looked around the room and saw that it was nearly full: she recognised a couple of faces and spotted Ben from the café loading his plate with mini sausage rolls. She glanced around the room to see if Patrick had arrived yet.
‘Nice tradition,’ Laurie said. ‘Having a party like this.’
‘Oh, nothing of the sort,’ Joyce said, and as she spoke Diana swept up by their side and topped up their glasses with more champagne. Joyce turned to her. ‘You see, Diana’s never had a party like this before, have you, dear?’
‘First time.’ She smiled. ‘It’s rather fun, though, isn’t it? Never got to do anything like this when he was around.’ She stuck her tongue out, making a face, then started to laugh. ‘So I thought I’d take the opportunity now.’
‘Well here’s to new starts, and more parties,’ Laurie said. ‘Now that’s something worth drinking to,’ Diana agreed, and they clinked their champagne flutes together.
Laurie looked over at Diana’s nephews as they sped through the house, racing toy cars over every surface. In the corner of the living room Diana had set up a little table with materials for making cards and paper chains. Some of the older children were Pritt-sticking happily over there.
‘Are you the fashion designer?’ Laurie jumped in surprise and turned to see an older man in a tweed suit who’d joined them. ‘That’s me,’ she said.
‘I keep hearing about you,’ he said, with a grin. ‘My wife Sandra’s not stopped talking about this fashion show you’re having tomorrow night. She’s on about how she’s a model these days, and I should be the one making the tea. You’ve caused quite a stir.’
Meet Me Under the Mistletoe Page 18