‘Rachel,’ came Laurie’s voice. Calm, Rachel thought. Oblivious to the fact that she’d torn someone else’s world apart.
‘Yes,’ Rachel answered, numb.
‘Hi. Listen,’ Laurie said, sounding more flustered than she had at first. ‘I need to talk to you about something, it’s important.’
‘Oh, really?’ Rachel said, steeling herself, worried her voice would crack. ‘Well you know what? There’s something I wanted to ask you, too.’
‘There is?’
‘Yes.’ Rachel sat down on the edge of the bed. She had to keep her nerve. She had to ask – or she would never know. She took a deep breath, then spoke.
‘Laurie, I’ve just found a note you wrote when we were at school.’
‘A note?’
‘To Aiden.’ Rachel forced herself to continue. ‘I found it in your bedroom. It fell out of one of your books.’
‘Oh God.’ Laurie’s words came slowly.
‘What, Laurie?’ Rachel said, her voice thickening with anger now. Laurie’s guilty tone was all the confirmation she needed.
‘Rachel, I’m so sorry,’ Laurie began, her voice so quiet it was as if it belonged to someone else. ‘I know I should have been honest. I should have told you,’ Laurie said, hurriedly. ‘I mean—’
‘Laurie – you knew I was in love with him. All those evenings we spoke about him, you listened to me go on and on, analysing every conversation the two of us had. Then – when you went to those parties – Laurie, you’d report back to me. Telling me who Aiden was with, who he was talking to.’ Rachel felt her grip on the past she knew slip with every word. ‘What was that?’
‘Rachel, let me explain … Look,’ she said, hurriedly. ‘I need you to trust me, and to listen to me now. There’s something I need to tell you—’
‘Trust you?’ Rachel said, her rage building. ‘Are you serious? I don’t need explanations, Laurie. Not yours, not even Aiden’s. Nothing is going to make this go away.’
‘But—’
‘It’s been a really hard time, Laurie, and I needed a friend. But now I’m even wondering, was there another reason you wanted to swap homes?’
Laurie was silent at the other end of the line.
‘Did you actually want to help?’ Rachel thought of Aiden, of Milly, the fact her daughter was talking to Laurie instead of her. ‘Or was it because you wanted my life?’
‘No, Rachel, listen … you’ve got to—’ Laurie protested.
‘Laurie, I don’t want to talk to you, and I don’t want you talking to Milly either. Goodbye.’ Her hand was shaking as she slammed the phone down.
CHAPTER 26
Sunday 17th December
On Sunday morning there was a brief, blissful moment when Laurie couldn’t remember anything about the night before. Then the memories flooded back – the best night she’d had in ages had turned into a nightmare.
She showered quickly, dried her hair and threw on jeans and a hoodie. She looked out of the front window to check the weather. The flurry of snow last night had settled thickly, and, unable to find the coat she’d taken off last night, she pulled on a sheepskin jacket from the hall closet before going outside. Pulling it tightly around her, she crunched through the snow to Diana’s cottage.
Diana opened the door still in her dressing gown. ‘My God,’ she exclaimed. ‘You look like the Abominable Snowman! Come in and out of the cold.’
Diana brought over coffee and buttered crumpets. Laurie let herself be distracted by Diana’s tales of the night before.
‘He asked me to stay after closing,’ Diana said. ‘We had a – what did he call it? A lock-in. Just the two of us.’
Diana’s eyes were bright and she had a new flush in her cheeks. She and Laurie talked through all the essentials: what exactly Diana had talked about with Graham, how they had left things (they both seemed keen), were there kisses (yes) and were they any good (oh yes), and who was going to make the next move (Graham had Diana’s number).
‘Graham was saying last night how nice it is that you and Patrick got together,’ Diana said. ‘But you left early, how come?’
‘I knew I wasn’t the best judge of character when it came to men,’ Laurie said, shaking her head. ‘But it’s really off the chart this time.’
‘Patrick?’
Laurie nodded.
‘But he seemed—’
‘Like such a nice guy?’ Laurie finished Diana’s sentence. ‘Yep, that’s what I thought too. But no, he’s a total creep,’ Laurie said, picking up another crumpet and taking a bite. ‘I can’t believe I fell for everything he said. He was flirting with someone else when he was seeing me, setting up dates with her,’ she said. Diana’s jaw dropped. ‘But it’s worse than that. The other girl was my own fifteen-year-old goddaughter.’
Diana gave a horrified gasp. ‘Not Milly?’
‘Yes, Milly.’
‘Un-be-blimmin-lieve-able,’ Diana said, eyes wide.
‘I know. Pathetic, isn’t it?’
‘Worse than that,’ Diana said, her face hard with disapproval. ‘She’s underage! It’s disgraceful. Well, he’s not going to have many friends around here in a week or two. You leave that one with me. What a toerag! Does Rachel know?’
‘Not yet,’ Laurie said, thinking back to the disastrous phone conversation the two of them had had.
‘She’s not going to be happy about it. Poor Milly, I mean, she’s a smart girl … and you can’t blame her for getting sucked in by him. I mean, we all did.’
Laurie couldn’t shake the feeling that she should have known better. Why had she not been able to suss Patrick out from the start? Had she really been that desperate not to be alone at Christmas?
As she left Diana’s house and walked back to the cottage, Laurie reran the conversations she’d had with Patrick in her mind. When he’d talked about himself, she realised, he’d rarely given details, and what he had said – well, maybe none of it had been true.
As she let herself back into the cottage, Laurie knew it was time to leave Skipley. She looked around the living room – the window seat, scattered with cushions, the photos of Rachel, Aiden and their family, their CD collection, books. Being here, living here, she’d felt almost like part of the family. It had made her realise she missed having Rachel in her life and that she wanted to be a better godmother to Milly.
Instead all she’d managed to do was damage their lives and ruin her relationship with both of them. Yet the one thing Rachel had asked for – for Laurie to steer clear of her family – Laurie knew she couldn’t do. Milly was still in contact with Patrick, hearing the same lies she’d heard, and was planning to see him in just a few days. Whatever it took, Laurie had to make sure Milly knew the truth.
If Rachel refused to answer her calls, she’d find another way. She went upstairs to start packing.
CHAPTER 27
Monday 18th December
Rachel got up at 6.30 a.m., when it was still dark outside. With the radio on quietly, she made gingerbread snowmen and candied fruit and nut wreaths. By the time her family woke up the flat was heavy with the scents of ginger and baking. She was still feeling empty and raw from the argument with Laurie. But she dealt with it in the way she often dealt with her problems – by baking. Aiden came into the kitchen to make tea. ‘What’s that cooking?’ he asked, breathing in.
‘Biscuits,’ Rachel said. ‘I want Christmas to be just like it always is,’ she said, looking up from the mixing bowl. She took a breath as the reality of the situation sank in. ‘Wherever we are for it.’
‘Right,’ Aiden said, distractedly.
‘We’ll work it out,’ Rachel said, taking some biscuits out of the oven and putting them out to cool on a rack. ‘Would you like company at the hospital today?’
‘Yes,’ Aiden said. ‘I would. Let’s all go together.’
‘So, when I got to Level 3 the monster came and started to breathe fire at me,’ Zak explained. ‘You can’t go past him, you have to get up and o
ver him. But I found the coin that makes you bigger and—’
Zak had been talking to Bea for about ten minutes about his latest computer game. At first he’d been shy about talking to her, hadn’t known what to say, but now, after a week and a half of it, he seemed completely comfortable with his unresponsive audience.
That morning, Dr Patel had only repeated her advice that they should be patient. ‘Ten days,’ Aiden whispered to Rachel, when the doctor walked away. ‘Surely they should know something by now.’
Rachel took his hand gently. ‘It sounds like they don’t. I suppose she doesn’t want to give us false hope – she’s said from the start that it’s a case of waiting.’
‘And then, whoosh, I was over it, Granny –’ Zak’s face was gleaming – ‘and through to the waterfall round. It’s true. You can ask Milly.’
‘It’s true,’ Milly said, perching on the edge of the bed and stroking her grandma’s arm. ‘He made it through to Level 4. And in Zak-world that’s like winning the lottery or something.’
Rachel looked at Milly. When she was with her grandmother, her tough front disappeared.
‘So, Granny,’ Milly said, taking over the conversation. She looked around the room for inspiration and her eyes rested on a snow globe sitting on Bea’s bedside table. It was one of Milly’s favourite decorations from the cottage – inside was a tiny Eiffel tower. ‘It’s a week till Christmas. Only a week. And you won’t be surprised to hear that we’re not at all organised without you. We don’t even have your Countdown to Christmas to help us. Zak and I have some chocolate Advent calendars, and we’re opening those every day, but we don’t have a tree or anything.’
‘But it’s OK. Mum found some nice branches and we’ve decorated them with fairy lights, so the flat looks pretty. Zak’s made some paper chains. And this morning Mum started baking, she’s made those fruit and nut wreaths, and some gingerbread snowmen. The flat smells like your cottage when you’re baking.
‘Do you remember that year, Gran, when you first let me bake with you? It was after Grandpa had died, and you said you didn’t want to make the gingerbread house on your own? We sat down together and you showed me how to decorate each piece. Granddad has always been the best at doing it, you said, but then when I got started you told me you saw part of him in me.’ Milly’s voice started to crack. ‘I miss Granddad. We all do. And I know you said that day that you wanted to join him, that all you wanted was to be with him, in heaven. So if that’s what you really want, Granny, then do that, go.
‘We’ll be OK.’ Tears started to fall on Milly’s cheeks, and Rachel reached a hand around her shoulders. Zach started to let out small sobs and clutched Milly’s other hand tighter. Rachel looked over at Aiden and saw tears in his eyes.
‘But know that if you do, we’re going to miss you so, so much,’ Milly said. ‘Because you’re the best gran in the world. And Christmas won’t be right without you.’
The bedside fell silent, and the only movement was in the ward, beyond the curtain. Trolley wheels rolling, nurses calling out.
‘I think it’s time to go,’ Rachel said, giving Milly’s shoulder a squeeze. Aiden nodded. Milly and Zak got to their feet slowly, and Rachel pulled back the curtain and turned to leave.
‘No,’ came a quiet voice. Rachel turned around to see Bea moving her head roughly from side to side, repeating the word. ‘No, no, no.’ A shiver ran over Rachel’s skin, and Aiden dashed over to Bea. Accelerating beeps came from the machines around her. Milly and Zak’s gaze was fixed on their grandma’s face. ‘Call for the doctor, Rach,’ Aiden said, and Rachel looked around for Dr Patel, who was just a couple of beds away. Rachel beckoned her over. Adrenalin coursed through her veins as she turned back to Bea’s bed, the sound of Dr Patel’s footsteps heading in their direction.
Slowly, surely, Bea started to stir. ‘I’m not ready to go,’ she said, her eyes flicking open. And, taking in all of their faces, she sank back into her pillow, closing her eyes again. ‘Oh no, I’m not ready at all.’
CHAPTER 28
Tuesday 19th December
‘Wish I had a chance to say goodbye to all the ladies in person, but, you know …’ Laurie said to Diana.
‘I completely understand,’ Diana said reassuringly. ‘Don’t worry. We’re all grateful to you, you know. Particularly Andy at the shelter – he says thanks to the auction they’ll be having their best Christmas dinner yet.’ Despite the heaviness in her heart, Laurie smiled.
‘And leave Patrick to me,’ Diana said, a determined look on her face. ‘I’ll sort him out.’
As she went back to the cottage, Laurie cast one last glance around. When she’d arrived, it had all looked cluttered to her – the photos, the cushions, the overflowing bookcases. But now she saw it – it wasn’t cluttered at all, it was homey.
She shut the heavy wooden door behind her and dragged her suitcase out to the waiting cab.
On the train from Leeds to London, Laurie thought over her plan. She’d called her Aunt Clara from the cottage and arranged to spend a couple of days with her and Andrea. It wouldn’t be right to go back to her flat, and staying on at the cottage, with everything that had happened, would have felt even more wrong. Her aunt had seemed pleased to hear from her; she’d stay there until the time came for Rachel and her family to go home. Laurie thought of Aiden’s mother and hoped there would be good news soon.
Laurie got out her iPad and went online, and her finger hovered over the apps. Facebook, Twitter … her email. She hesitated for only a moment before switching it back off and looked instead at the wintry scenery that was passing her by. Whatever she might have missed could wait.
The train was due in to Kings Cross at five. As they passed through the outskirts of London Laurie saw Christmas street lights twinkling, fairy-lit trees in people’s windows, shops bright with decorations. With the announcement that they’d reached the station her fellow passengers started to get their things ready, taking down bags packed full of brightly wrapped presents and talking excitedly about their plans to meet family, see Christmas shows.
Hauling her luggage off the rack above, Laurie narrowly avoided knocking the head of a guy in an Arsenal shirt. ‘Watch it, love,’ he said, in a gruff London accent. Laurie stepped out on to the platform and felt around inside her handbag for her Oyster card. It seemed like a hundred years since she’d last swiped it at a ticket barrier and bustled through. A month ago it had been as natural as breathing, but now she was just like one of those tourists who stand maddeningly in front of the barriers, blocking the way as they work out how to use them.
With a deep breath, Laurie pushed her way through the barrier. Her break from reality was over. She wheeled her case through the station, got a takeaway coffee and searched the departure boards for the next train to Bromley.
When it came to Christmas, Aunt Clara never held back, and the illuminated fat Santa in the front yard showed that this year was no exception. The front room was heavily laden with gold tinsel and the artificial tree up in the corner was weighed down by vast amounts of baubles. On the top, as always, was a fat angel with rosy cheeks, tipped slightly forward. Presents were piled high underneath.
The TV blared in the background. Laurie saw it was The X-Factor. ‘Is it the semi-finals?’ she asked, realising she hadn’t caught a single episode while she was up in Skipley.
‘Yeah,’ Andrea replied. ‘It’s been rubbish this year. But there’s this one girl who, they say—’
‘Laurie,’ Clara said, coming back into the room, and interrupting them. ‘Ah, Laurie, Laurie, Laurie,’ she said, in her loud, singsong way. She arranged the mugs of tea on the coffee table and put down a packet of Mr Kipling’s mince pies. She sat down next to her niece and put a hand on her arm sympathetically. ‘Now, I’m glad you’re here, darling, don’t get me wrong. But don’t tell me, is it because you’re going to be all alone at Christmas again?’ Clara said, looking Laurie directly in the eye and then shaking her head in a way that suggested fain
t despair. ‘No boyfriend, like Andrea?’
‘Mum!’ Andrea said, eyes wide, before looking pleadingly towards her cousin for forgiveness. Laurie’s silence was obviously all the answer she needed.
‘I tell you, you have to think about your life outside work too, you know. You and your cousin, honestly, I worry so much about Andrea sometimes … In your thirties, you two,’ Clara said. ‘Your mum and me, we both had babies by the time we were your age. You don’t have for ever, you know …’
Andrea rolled her eyes at her cousin, bringing a wry smile to Laurie’s lips.
‘Anyway,’ Clara said, turning back to the table, oblivious, ‘your mami. Have you spoken to her? You should call her. She misses you. She can’t understand why you insist on spending Christmas alone.’
Laurie took a big sip of tea and tried to remember why she’d thought it was a good idea to come to her aunt’s house.
‘Why don’t you call her, darling,’ Clara said, pointing to the kitchen where the phone stood on a side table. ‘We get cheap calls to Spain, it’s practically free. You should call her.’
Laurie nodded and got to her feet. Anything was preferable to her aunt’s incessant guilt trips.
‘Ooh, you put on some weight, Laurie,’ Clara said, tapping her on the bottom as she moved past, ‘getting big, this.’
‘I guess I have,’ she said, with a shrug. ‘Actually, I think it suits me.’
She could hear Clara whispering her approval to her daughter in the front room. It was only slightly quieter than Simon Cowell’s crushing analysis.
Laurie took a deep breath, picked up the receiver and dialled her mum’s number.
‘Mum,’ she said as her mother picked up, greeting her in Spanish. She could picture her mum on the balcony of the villa, with its view out towards the pool. ‘It’s me.’
‘Sweetheart,’ her mum exclaimed. ‘What a lovely surprise. How are you?’
Meet Me Under the Mistletoe Page 20