Thomas reached out and grabbed Victoria’s arms, forcing her to look at him.
“You needed help, Victoria. You are an innocent party in all of this.” As he said it, and realized what else he was going to tell her, he also realized he was right, and in applying it to himself, he could finally forgive himself too. “Samira and James were working with me. We chose a life of danger, and we put you and my daughters in harm’s way. We had a choice. You did not. Neither did my daughters. I cannot save my daughters. I can, however, help you. You hold no blame. None at all. Do you understand what I am saying to you?”
Victoria stared into Thomas’ face and saw a wall fall down as he forgave himself for his part, and she knew he was right. She was still grieving, and she still felt responsible in a way, but she knew those feelings would pass. As a single tear slid down her cheek. Thomas gently wiped it away.
“You are my family now," Thomas said to Victoria, and he leaned his forehead against hers. "I promise here and now that I will see you safely settled, and I will not leave your side until you tell me to go.”
Victoria felt his breath on her face. His promise washed over her and made her feel warm all over. As butterflies began to dance in her stomach, she opened her eyes to find herself staring right into Thomas’ eyes. She watched him shift his face, and then she felt his lips on hers, a gentle, tender kiss. A seal to his promise, and then he was sitting back upright and tapping the horses to continue onward.
Victoria blinked. What had just happened? Her hands rested on her belly, and she tried to stop her racing heart. She knew Thomas meant nothing seductive with his kiss, but her entire body seemed to sing in its wake. Suddenly overcome with emotion, Victoria turned to the back of the wagon and, climbing carefully over the seat, she excused herself to take a nap. With Thomas driving the wagon, Victoria settled on her bedroll and silently cried herself to sleep, not knowing if she should tell Thomas how she felt, if she should wait, or if she should let him go once he kept his promise.
Chapter 9
Two weeks later, without any further incident, Thomas and Victoria came upon a small homestead where the family informed them they were only a day’s ride from Denver. They would soon see the mountains on the horizon. As they pressed forward to find a spot to make camp, they crested a rise and both of them let their jaws drop as the mountains, snow-capped and majestic, appeared in front of them. Thomas stopped the wagon. Overcome by the majesty of the mountains, he reached out and took hold of Victoria’s hand.
She squeezed his hand, and they looked at each other.
“Thomas...”
He put a finger to her lips. “Before you say anything, may I?”
Victoria nodded silently.
“I promised to bring you here safely. I promised I would stay until you tell me to go. Initially, I promised this to honor James. Then I told myself I was helping you to honor my wife and my daughters. Then I told myself I was doing this because I owed you for trying to help me. However, as I look at those mountains, and I realize tomorrow could be the first day of a new life for you, maybe without me, I know I don’t want to leave you.”
Victoria tilted her head to the side, her hair now loose and uncovered, blowing in the light breeze, and asked, "What are you saying, Thomas?”
Thomas took both of her hands in his and scooted closer to her on the seat. “Victoria Bramwell, I want to know if you would do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Thomas Bramwell. Would you allow me to remain with you for the rest of my life? Somehow in all of this, you have become the center to my life, the lighthouse in my stormy seas. If I cannot remain by your side, as your husband, I will be lost.”
Victoria looked at their clasped hands, and she pulled herself closer to Thomas. Impetuously, she quickly leaned forward and kissed Thomas. As their lips met, both were almost overcome with desire for the kiss to continue and expand. Breathless, they pulled away and gazed into each other’s eyes.
“Is that a yes?” quipped Thomas.
Victoria sat facing forward and scooted to sit right next to Thomas. As she withdrew her hands to loop one through Thomas’ arm, she leaned her head on his shoulder, and replied, "Yes, Thomas.”
Grinning widely, Thomas signaled the horses to move forward, and the pair found the future suddenly full of hope, excitement, and best of all—love.
A Young Bride’s Heart
Chapter 1
Naomi sat quietly outside Faith’s room trying to collect her thoughts. She was soaring on the elation that Faith’s operation had been a success. But the debt that the family had incurred to pay for it, and her father Nathan’s condition, promised to drag her down from the clouds and into the abyss.
The debt shouldn’t be a problem as far as the hospital was concerned. Their father was well respected in the community, and well established. As far as the hospital was concerned, he would pay for Faith’s care. And he would have, had he long enough to live.
Not even Faith knew of his condition. But Naomi did, as did her father himself. She had known since he had first began coughing up blood. He had tried to deny it at first, to hide it. But Naomi was sharp and cunning and he had not been able to hide it from her for long.
When he had first admitted his condition to his daughter, Nathan had had full faith that Naomi could care for the business and what was left of the family. The children’s mother had died in childbirth during the birth of their son, Matthew. Matthew was too young yet to care for the business or the family. But Nathan knew how smart Naomi was. He would leave the family business to her when he died and she could care for her younger sister and brother.
But everything had changed when Faith had fallen ill. The clothing shop did well enough to support them and provide just a little something extra. But there was no way that they could pay for Faith’s medical bills and still stay afloat.
It was a point of contention between Nathan and Naomi. She wanted very much to plan for how to take care of everyone now that the family was in so much debt. But he would not hear of it.
He had been at peace with his death when he had known that he could leave everything to Naomi and that she would be able to care for her brother and sister. But now that they had been saddled with the extra debt of Faith’s illness, everything had changed.
If he hadn’t been dying, it wouldn’t have. He could have continued to run the clothing shop, maybe taken on a little more business, and the money would have been no problem.
But Naomi was a woman. Smart as a whip though she may be, she was still a woman. It didn’t matter how smart or able she was. People would still judge her more harshly, be less likely to bring her their business, and they was no way that she could keep the business afloat. Sometimes he cursed the fact that she had been born a woman. But mostly he cursed the fact that she had been born into a world that judged her as being less because she was a woman.
He didn’t know how to help her. He didn’t know what to do. And so he refused to talk about it altogether.
*****
Naomi stood silently, grasping Matthew’s hand firmly, as the rain beat a steady rhythm on the umbrella that she held over them. Faith had been too ill still to leave her bed and join them.
She stared at the mound of dirt standing next to the gaping hole in the ground as the pastor spoke. He spoke first of what an honorable, God-fearing man that Nathan had been, and then he segued seamlessly into a bit about how the faithful had a place in Heaven and had no worry.
His words washed over her, never piercing through the veil of her consciousness. The faint presence of Matthew’s hand in hers kept her loosely tethered to the earth. She knew that the sermon was over when she felt Matthew squeeze her hand.
She looked down at him. She searched for the words to say to him. He was so young. Much younger that herself and Faith. She and Faith had never expected a younger sibling. Matthew had been a surprise. They had both been extremely protective of him from birth.
Naomi found that she was unable to find anything gentle to
say now, at their father’s passing. Matthew saved her the trouble by speaking first.
“Do you think that Pa still worries about us?” he asked. Naomi glanced at the casket and the mound of dirt.
“I’m sure that he does,” she said. Matthew squirmed as a troubled look came over his face.
“But if he worries, then how can he be in Heaven?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” Naomi asked.
“Well the preacher sad that the faithful don’t need to worry. But if Pa worries about us, don’t that mean that he’s not faithful? And if he’s not faithful, don’t that mean he’s in hell?”
“Doesn’t that mean, not don’t,” Naomi said. She cared more about gaining herself time to think of a response, though she supposed she should start caring about his pronunciations. After all, with both their parents gone now, the job of educating her siblings would fall to her. The ploy gained her very little time in any case.
“Doesn’t that mean he’s in hell?” Matthew asked. Concern painted his young features.
Naomi’s features softened with compassion.
“Of course he ain’t…I mean, he’s not in hell,” she said. Matthew remained unconvinced.
“But the preacher man said that those in heaven have got no worry,” he said.
“Well, that’s true,” Naomi said. She tried to think quickly before speaking again. “But maybe he’s not in heaven.”
Horror painted Matthew’s features.
“But then that means he’s….in hell?” he said quietly.
“No! No, no,” Naomi said quickly. “It just means that he’s sort of…between.” Matthew relaxed a bit.
“Like a ghost?” he asked hopefully.
“I…” Naomi almost contradicted him until she saw the hope in his eyes.
“Yes,” she said with a tight smile. “Like a ghost.”
Matthew tightened his hand around hers.
They walked home, hand in hand, the rain beating down on their umbrella as they walked.
*****
Naomi put Matthew to bed and made her way to Faith’s room. She knocked and waited for a response.
“Come in,” Faith said listlessly after a moment.
Naomi pushed the door open and made her way to Faith’s bed. Neither of them spoke for a long moment.
“How did he look?” Faith finally said flatly. She stared at the opposite wall rather than looking at Naomi.
Naomi felt a strong urge to yell, “Dead! He looked dead, alright?! He looked DEAD!” She shoved the urge down as far as she could.
“Good,” she said. “Dignified.” Faith turned and looked at her, pain written across her features.
“I think I killed him,” she said miserably.
Naomi was caught completely off guard, all of her defenses shattered.
“That isn’t true!” she said.
“Then what?” Faith asked bitterly.
“He…he was already sick,” Naomi said, hanging her head. “He was dying.”
Faith sat in silence, her jaw hanging open.
“What are you saying?” she finally asked.
“I’m saying that he didn’t die suddenly. And you didn’t cause this. He’s been sick for a long time. And he knew. He knew he was dying.”
Neither of them spoke for a long moment. Faith was the first to speak.
“He knew he was dying,” Faith said numbly. Her eyes filled with tears. “Why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t he tell Matthew?”
“He didn’t want to be a burden,” Naomi said. “To either of you.”
*****
Naomi did her best to keep the business afloat. But as her father had known, it was not meant to be. Within a year Naomi was forced to admit defeat and close the doors for good. She felt numb as she locked the doors for the last time and walked away from the now empty building.
She felt lost, unsure of what to do next or where she could go from here. To make matters worse, Faith had taken ill again. What little money they still had would be enough to support them only for a short while. It would come nowhere near paying for Faith’s treatment. Naomi missed her father fiercely. He would have known what to do.
When she reached home she trudged through the door and shut it quietly behind her. She followed the sound of Matthew’s voice to Faith’s room, where he sat reading to her from the family Bible. She leaned in the doorway and watched them.
Faith seemed more asleep than awake. It struck Naomi how much older Matthew seemed now than he had a year ago. She closed her eyes for a moment and listened to him as he read.
“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”
She sighed as she opened her eyes. She wished that it were that simple.
Matthew, now aware of her presence, gently shut the Bible and turned toward her. Faith grasped his hand for a moment.
“Thank you,” she mumbled before drifting back to sleep.
“You’re welcome,” he said, giving her hand a squeeze.
He set the Bible down on the nightstand and he and Naomi slipped out of the room, shutting the door gently behind them.
“It’s done?” he asked. Naomi nodded.
“It’s done,” she said.
“Hard to believe,” he said with a small shake of his head. “Always thought I’d be takin’ over the family business when I got old enough.”
Naomi said nothing.
“What are we gonna do now?” he asked her. Naomi forced a smile.
“Now, now,” she said. “You’re too young to be worryin’ over such things.” Matthew shrugged.
“Maybe,” he said. “That don’t stop me from worryin’ though.” Naomi gave him a level look.
“Doesn’t. It doesn’t stop me from worryin’,” he corrected himself.
“I know,” Naomi said with a sigh. “We’ll figure something out.” She hoped that she sounded more convinced than she felt.
Chapter 2
Naomi managed to find enough work to take care of her brother and sister, but just barely. She managed to keep food on the table, but only just. The cold reality of Naomi’s medical expenses loomed over her like a dark cloud.
She worked her fingers to the bone and she was almost past the point of exhaustion by the time she dragged herself home every night. But it wasn’t enough. Faith’s medical expenses were no closer to being paid and the family was barely afloat. She was at her wits’ end.
She was grateful that Matthew had taken it upon himself to tend to the household, cooking and cleaning while Faith was unable to. It wounded his pride, she knew.
She had no way of knowing that soon her life would be changed forever.
*****
On a Sunday evening Naomi sat reading the newspaper. The world outside was cloaked in gray and a steady rain had beat down for most of the day. Her body still ached from the week’s grueling work.
Faith, for once, felt well enough to join Naomi and Matthew in the sitting room. Naomi glanced up from her newspaper for a moment to watch Faith and Matthew, who were engrossed in a game of checkers.
It pained her to see how frail Faith had become. She needed better care, but there was no way that Naomi could afford to pay for it. She squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose before returning to her newspaper with a sigh.
She had already read everything of interest to her. Out of boredom she flipped to the personals section. One ad in particular caught her eye. It was a young man advertising for a wife. She found that there were several such ads, as well as young women advertising for husbands. Some of the ads were quite specific, detailing exactly how the desired spouse should appear, how much wealth they should possess, and other things.
What will they think of next, she thought, shaking her head. But then a thought occurred to her. What was stopping her from placing exactly that kind of ad? What if she could find a husband wealthy enou
gh to pay for Faith’s care? Her first instinct was to reject the thought before it had even fully formed. But then again…
She lowered her newspaper and looked over at Faith, a blanket wrapped around her thin shoulders despite the relative warmth. She seemed to grow more insubstantial with every passing day. Naomi knew that she was running out of time. And they were already out of options. She hated to think what losing her would do to Matthew. He had only just begun to truly heal from the loss of their father.
What the hell, she decided. What did she have to lose? She went the next day and placed her ad in the paper. She felt her face flush as she handed over the piece of paper that had what she wanted to say in the ad written on it.
She chided herself for being silly. There was nothing to be ashamed of, she told herself. By the look of the personals section, she was far from being the only young woman to take such a course. Then again, she thought, most of them didn’t have an ulterior motive like she did.
She flushed even deeper and pushed the thought out of her mind. She paid for the ad and left as quickly as she could before she could lose her nerve.
Her stomach twisted nervously as she made her way home. She had not, of course, mentioned her sister’s illness in her ad. After all, what man would want to take on a wife knowing that he would be paying for her family’s expenses? Still, though, the deception felt wrong to her.
Technically, she hadn’t done anything wrong yet, she decided. She could just ignore any responses that she received. Or tell them that she had already decided to marry another. She would find another way.
But even as she told herself that she would find another way, she knew it for a lie. She had tried everything that she could think of and worked herself half to death, and all to no avail. This was her last resort and she knew it.
Over the next two months she received many responses. But she found reasons to reject each of them and eventually she stopped receiving letters altogether.
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