by Roxy Wilson
“But I know her?” she snarled.
“Sort of, yes.”
She didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. How could she know someone ‘sort of’? “What’s her name?”
“Look…” He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jacket. “…I don’t want to talk about it. Since I haven’t told her yet, I think it’s kind of meaningless to tell others.”
“You told Maria!”
“That’s different.” Fitz shrugged. “I needed her help to make this woman jealous.”
“So, you used her?”
“With her consent,” he countered. “You shouldn’t get so worked up about it. Maria knew right from the start. I should’ve told her not to mention anything to you.”
She opened her mouth to say something snarky, but then snapped it shut. No words came out, even though she wanted to tell him a million things. After he slept with her, he had the nerve to admit he was actually in love with someone else? Was he crazy? How could she not react to that? But she couldn’t say all that. Janay didn’t want him to know how badly she was affected by his cold and callous behavior. Sure, their lovemaking happened as an on-the-spur-of-the-moment kind of a thing. He was vulnerable at that time. She was stupid. But still, there was a certain code of conduct that needed to be maintained and yet, he made no attempt to do so.
“You told me to fix you up with Maria and with all these other women. If you knew that you were in love with another person, why didn’t you just ask me to help you get her attention?”
He rubbed his forehead, glanced away and then back at her. “Janay, I just don’t want to talk about it.”
“You don’t want to talk about it?” Her voice rose up quite a few octaves. Janay could feel the buildup of furious energy spiraling sharply inside her. How dare he dismiss her! “You don’t want to talk about it?” she repeated.
His eyes narrowed at her shrill voice. “Don’t take that tone with me.”
He sounded like a school headmaster chiding her for being rude. But Janay was now past the point of rational thinking. She tried long enough, but it wasn’t working. How could she maintain her cool when the opposite party—Mister Randy Fitzgerald—seemed bent on being the world’s biggest dim-wit? Insensitive Jerk! “And don’t you dare set me aside after sleeping with me!”
Damn it! She didn’t want to drag this particular issue into their fight. Sure, it was the real reason why she felt so bothered by this whole mess, but she didn’t want him to know that.
She was mad at him and he needed to know that much.
He scowled. “So, that’s what it’s all about?”
“Sure it is,” she spat out the words as if they were poison. “And why shouldn’t it be? You made love to me and then—and then—you have the gall to declare that you have always been in love with this…weird, invisible woman?”
“She’s not weird.” He pointed a finger at her. “Don’t call her names.”
“And don’t you dare refuse to talk to me when you damn well know that you owe me an explanation,” she snarled. Janay was well aware that she was acting emotionally. And why shouldn’t she? She was in love with this thoughtless, tactless jerk who didn’t have the decency to come right out and admit his true feelings for another woman before he made love to her. Why couldn’t he have put a stop to it when she made the move? Or did he make the first move? She wasn’t sure.
But somehow or the other, it’s all his fault.
Of course, it is!
So, she wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily.
“I wanted us to talk, remember. You’re the one who walked out,” he fired back. His nostrils flared and a muscle ticked in his cheek.
She never saw him this angry before. Good! She wanted to rile him up, just like he managed to do to her.
“We should’ve discussed this right then and there. But no! You wanted to pretend that nothing happened.”
“Nothing significant happened,” she shot back.
He took a threatening step forward. “Then why are you making such a big fuss about it now?”
As he loomed large over her, she realized for the first time that he was quite a bit taller than her. Bulkier, too. But this was Fitz, the gentlest soul on earth. She’d always been the one who exploded like a volcano on occasion. He always acted cool and composed. Right now though, in his current state of mind, he seemed a little bit scary. A bit dangerous, too.
In a sexy sort of way!
No, no she wasn’t going to think along those lines.
Get a grip, Janay.
“I didn’t know that you were in love with another woman before—I allowed you to lay your hands on me.”
“Why does that make a difference?”
Janay spluttered with shock. Is he a complete moron? How could that not matter? He put his hands on her, touched her in the most intimate manner and all the while, he was secretly in love with another woman? The insult burned in her heart like a flame. “It makes a big difference. If you’re in love with someone, you should be faithful to them.”
Hearing her words, he shook his head. Befuddlement shone in his eyes. “We’re veering way off topic. Let’s just take some time to cool down. We can talk about this later.”
He made sense. Their friendship was too old and strong to be adversely affected by these tiring circumstances. In a normal situation, Janay would have agreed to talk about this at a later day. But a storm raged in her mind that refused to die down.
He made love to her.
She loved him.
Sure, it was her problem and she would deal with it. But he also needed to shoulder some responsibility. Why couldn’t he accept his mistake? If he only told her who the girl was, she might be able to make some peace with this ridiculous situation. But no…he seemed determined to protect her identity. “Just tell me her name,” she ordered. This matter needed to be resolved, at least a little bit in her head before she could make sense of the rest of it.
“I can’t. Please try to understand. She’s the one who needs to hear those words from me first…not someone else.”
Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to let them spill. The insult hit her straight in the heart and throbbed like a barb that was stuck there. “So, I’m someone else now?”
He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his heart. “No! You’re not.”
She jerked it free. Her emotions were all over the place. Even though she felt deeply hurt over the fact of how he could just dismiss her with such ease after sleeping with her, she might have been able to take that wound, if he didn’t rub salt on it by brushing aside their years of friendship. Nothing mattered to him.
She didn’t matter and neither did their old bond. The truth hurt like a bitch! Still, she needed to hear it from him. “Now, that you’ve found this amazing wonder woman, there’s no place in your life for an old friend? Is that it?”
“Oh, babe. Don’t say that.” He raised a hand to touch her cheek. “You’re important to me.”
She snorted. Those damned tears continued to prickle at the back of her eyes, but she pushed them back. She would never give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. How could she have thought he was her best friend? How could she have slept with him? Friends don’t sleep with friends and worse than all that, she loved him from the depths of her heart and yet, he acted so callous and insulting. She’d been a fool to fall in love with a man whose eyes were trained on another woman. It was all her fault. She should’ve taken more care with her heart. Her heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.
“Goodbye!” The word sounded so final that she actually felt something break inside her when she uttered it. Janay turned away. She didn’t have anything else to say anymore.
He rushed after her. “Janay! Wait!”
She didn’t want to hear anymore. What else could he say? There wasn’t anything that could wipe the anguish stabbing through every fiber and vein in her bod
y. She felt the pain almost as if it was a physical ailment. She hailed a cab and collapsed into it. Even though, Fitz tried to open the door, she told the driver to drive.
If he wanted to say something else, she didn’t want to hear it. All she wanted to do was go home and cry her eyes out. Perhaps once she got this pain out of her system, she would be able to resume her friendship.
Or perhaps—it was dead forever.
She didn’t know. All she knew was that the only man she ever loved was in love with another woman—and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.
This was the end of things, the end of an era. She didn’t intend to see Fitz ever again.
It’s over.
For two whole days, Janay felt more miserable than ever before. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t get him out of her mind. He would sneak in too, the conniving fellow he was—into her thoughts and heart whenever she let down her guard. Janay wanted to get over him. She wanted to move on. How could she though, when he called all day, sent her text messages, banged against her door, even enlisted the help of her sisters to get her to talk to him. She ignored them all. Maybe she should start seeing someone else. Maybe she needed to get out of the city.
Do something! Someone shrieked in her head. She’d been unable to galvanize into any action though. Janay hated inaction more than anything. She couldn’t just allow herself to wallow in grief when she wasn’t the one who did anything wrong. Fitz was out there, probably on a date with this woman, maybe seeing her every day, basking in the glory of his newfound love and she kept moaning over the idiot.
She couldn’t allow him to get away with hurting her in such a callous manner.
She wouldn’t allow him to do it.
It wasn’t just the insult that pissed her off, but rather the unknown, unfamiliar feelings swirling in her heart. How could she not have realized that she loved him all this time? Whenever the thought rose in her head, she pushed it away. Now it was too late.
Why did she accept her own emotions, only after she lost him?
What could she do about this miserable situation?
Misery didn’t suit Janay. She needed to do something. Without some action, she would go mad. On Christmas Eve, she banged on Fitz’s door. She’d had enough. One way or the other, she was going to settle things. She loved Fitz. Madly. Completely. She’d become determined to fight for him.
One thing now became crystal clear in her head; whoever the woman was, she wasn’t worthy of his love. No one could love Fitz like she loved him. Didn’t the man see it? How could he miss what stared him in the face? Once she realized she loved him, it would only be a matter of time for him to come to the same conclusion.
Well, he just needed a push—she was here to deliver it.
When he opened the door, Fitz blinked as if he was seeing her for the first time in forever. “Janay, what a surprise!”
“Yeah, isn’t it?” Without an invitation, she strode in. Was the conniving woman here? Had he told her about them? Was she reveling in the glory of his love? Well, Janay was here to crush the woman’s dreams. Fitz was hers—hers alone. No one would snatch him away. The living room was empty except for the cheery Christmas tree that glowed in one corner. A pile of presents already stacked under it. His sock hung alone on the fireplace. Good! At least, things weren’t serious enough for the woman to earn her own sock in his house. “Are you alone?”
“Yes, I am. If you’re here to ask me about that woman again—”
“I’m not.” She poked her index finger against his chest. “I don’t give a damn who she is. All I know is she’s wrong for you.”
His eyebrows rose and his lips pressed together. “And how do you know that without even knowing who she is?”
“Because…” Janay faltered. She needed to compose herself. She gulped deeply. After coming this far, she wasn’t backing off. It wasn’t her style. She would just say it out loud, “I’m the right woman for you.” She pounded her chest. “Me! Not some—some arbitrary woman who doesn’t even know that you like action movies, but you absolutely love watching romantic comedies. She doesn’t know that your favorite food is Chinese, but you’d spend your last penny for Mexican food. She doesn’t know that you make friends easily but you drop them if you even so much as detect a hint of disloyalty. You have high standards because you maintain them also.”
“You...” He shook his head. “You…”
Obviously, he was incapable of speech. She could quite understand his quandary. But once he sat to ponder over this matter, he would eventually come to the same conclusion. They belonged together. “I love you, Fitz. And yes, I suppose I always have. It never occurred to me that you would be idiotic enough to fall for someone who is obviously not good for you. That woman will never know you like I know you. She’ll never appreciate you as much as I do.” She pointed a finger at him. “And yes, I’m pissed over the fact that you could sleep with me and still not realize that we’re meant to be together, but I can forgive you.” She winced. “Or at least, I’ll try.”
Much to her consternation, he began to laugh. After sitting on the couch, he held his head in both hands and guffawed out loud.
Janay resisted the overwhelming urge to punch him. Love didn’t flourish with violence though, but he would be getting a punch if he didn’t stop. Sure, he was having a hard time accepting this now—but wait till he analyzed the situation. As always, she was right.
Wasn’t she?
What if her love was one sided? Maybe he didn’t feel it. If that were true, she wouldn’t know what to do. She just put herself right out there, vulnerable and naked. If he rejected her, she would be devastated. “Admit it, Fitz. “You love me.”
“Janay, you’re hilarious! Really—you are,” he spoke as he was laughing.
She stomped over and loomed over him. “This isn’t a joke.”
“Well, I’m afraid the joke’s on you, sweetie. There’s no other woman in my life.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about? Who’s the bimbo you think you’re in love with?”
“The bimbo—well, the other woman is—you.”
Janay was at a loss for words.
Fitz stood, walked over to her and gripped her arms. “Janay, I’ve never loved anyone but you. You’re the only one who fits into my life. I’ve been mustering the courage to ask you out for years, but the timing was always wrong.”
Happiness bloomed in her heart. Did she hear him right? He loved her? “The timing was right this time around. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted you to realize on your own that we belong together. The outcome would have been different if I’d told you.” He grinned. “And yes, I. Do. Love. You.” His expression grew serious. “Janay, will you do me the honor of being more than my best friend?”
He loves me!
This was the best, most surprising piece of news she’d gotten in a long time. She wanted to jump up and down and perhaps do a wild, victory dance. But she was determined to keep a graceful façade. His gaze locked with hers and a fission of heat ran along her skin. Damn! He made her melt with his hot, sexy persona. Forget the grace! She would take what he offered and show the world how happy she was.
Janay grinned. “Yes, Fitz, yes.” She couldn’t help it. Her arms wound around his neck and she lifted her chin to brush a kiss over his lips. “This is the best Christmas ever and you’re my Christmas gift.”
“And you. Are. Mine.”
CHAPTER TEN
The concert was a huge success. The residents of the senior citizens’ home really enjoyed listening to the music. Fitz stood next to the massive Christmas tree the sisters had decorated. Each person was to dispense a gift. Fitz insisted on contributing a few. He liked the fact that Janay and the others were so committed to the residents of the home. Every Christmas they planned something big and different. That’s what he loved about the woman; her dedication and commitment, her honesty, her go-get-it attitude and sheer nerves.
Lexi came to stand beside him. “So, how’s your mom?”
“She’s doing well. We’ve already hired a new resident housekeeper, so I’m feeling a bit relieved.”
“I’m glad.” Lexi’s gaze was drawn to Cole who beckoned her. “Excuse me.”
Fitz strolled in the opposite direction, towards the buffet table. It was time to swipe a dessert or two. He ran into Janay.
“Hey, handsome!” She put her hand on his arm. “Where are you going with that determined look in your eyes?”
“I was heading towards the dessert table, but now I’ve found something sweeter.” He ran a finger over her soft cheek. Her skin felt warm, smooth and her hazel-green dress sizzled under the twinkling lights. It hugged all her curves and she had plenty of them. “When are we going home? I can’t wait to rip this dress off you.”
“Shush!” She glared at him and then giggled. “Right now, I can’t give you what you have in mind, but for now…” She pointed right up at the mistletoe hanging from the roof on a string. “A kiss would do.”
Fitz sighed as he bent his head. “And I thought you’d never ask.” When his lips brushed across hers, he felt a familiar heat blaze into his veins. He could never get enough of her, not even if he lived and died a hundred times. Her arms curled around his neck in a possessive gesture. He deepened the kiss. His tongue thrust inside to taste every crevice and cranny of her mouth. Even as she pressed her body against his, he yearned for more. Her breath felt hot and her lips soft. His tongue mingled with hers in an erotic dance. They were both fused together for a long time, until Toby nudged into him.
“Dude, get a room.”
Laughing, they separated. “Don’t worry,” Fitz assured him, “We will.”
Janay pinched him on the arm and strode off, giggling.
Two hours later, she unlocked her door and they both stumbled inside. She kissed the pulse that beat at the base of his throat while they ripped each other’s clothes off in a heated frenzy. Longing pulsated within him, bright and fiery. Groaning, he pushed a hand through her thick mass of dark hair. Carrying her, he took her to the bedroom, leaving behind a trail of discarded clothes.