by Misty Simon
He said it so matter-of-factly, and I had no idea what he was talking about. “What is that?”
Arrol piped up. “It’s a crystal on the end of a chain used to predict the future or channel your inner desires. Depending on who you talk to.”
I glared at him.
“He’s right. But the fortune-telling ball is just a toy.”
“Not this one.” I pulled the ball out of the velvet bag I’d lovingly purchased for it. I figured it needed a little more dignity than being shoved into my backpack. “This one knows my name and can answer questions that are posed outside the normal yes and no people are bound to with other balls.”
I watched with a sinking stomach as his eyes cut to the yard, then up to the sky, then over to Arrol. Everywhere but at me.
Come on! I wanted to say. You can stand there and look at a little gnome no more than twelve inches high, dressed in his designer doll clothes, and believe, but not that a ball can talk?
But maybe that was more of a question of seeing and believing. It wasn’t as if he could deny Arrol was there in front of him pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back.
But until I showed him the ball, he wouldn’t believe that either.
Well, alrighty, then.
I pulled the dark wood ball out of its cocoon with a flourish. Rolled it, rolled it back, and said, “What’s my name, Laramie?” I didn’t want to take a chance with the nickname and accidentally piss her off. Now was not the time to mess around and make her not answer my question the one time it was absolutely crucial. Why stack the deck against myself?
HOWDY DANNER.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I showed the ball to Toby and waited for him to have a freak-out. But it didn’t really come. Sure, his eyes glazed over a little, and his hands clenched at his sides, but he didn’t have a full-blown panic attack, so I counted that as score one for me.
“How are you today?” I asked Larry as I kept one eye on Toby and the other on what I was doing.
GOOD. THANKS.
“Uh, no problem.” Still no running away screaming from Toby, so I took the one eye off of him and concentrated fully on the ball. If he was going to run at this point, I couldn’t stop him. And I had some very pressing things to ask Larry.
“Remember to concentrate fully and guide it to you,” Arrol said.
“I got it,” I said back, feeling the ball warm in my palm.
“Yeah, sure.” He snorted. “I thought you asked for my help.”
I glanced over at him and found him perched on Toby’s lap on my one chair. I guess Toby was staying. Fine with me.
“Don’t you want to know how to control it?”
Arrol’s voice was grating on my nerves something fierce. “I’ve got it,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Okay, have at it, then.”
“Thank you so kindly for your permission. Now can I please get down to this?”
“By all means.”
“Okay, Larry, talk to me, babe.” I turned the ball over, window down in my palm. “What is going on with this troll?” Turned it back and waited.
SEEKING.
“All right, he’s seeking. But seeking for what?”
The cube rolled and rolled. After a couple of seconds, I shook it to get it to respond.
NO SHAKING popped right up. The cube rolled. I HATE BUBBLES.
Oh, not good. “Sorry about that.”
OK.
“What is the troll seeking?”
More rolling. Was this going to be like Arrol and the troll freezing? I said, “Crotchety Women,” just to see if it would work—and wouldn’t you know, it did. Yay!
The rolling stopped and the cube popped into view. BOOK. LIFE.
That I already knew. “Where is the book?”
HIDDEN BEHIND.
“Hidden behind what?”
CANNOT.
I looked over at Arrol. “She says the troll is seeking the book but she can’t tell me where it is.” I thought for a moment. “And if she doesn’t know, then how on earth are we supposed to find it?”
“I have no idea.”
“Thanks, that’s a big help.”
“You asked.”
Toby joined in the conversation finally. Apparently the cat had let go of his tongue. “Maybe it isn’t meant to be found.”
“But then what am I going to do when the troll comes back and wants to take over my life because I can’t deliver the book?”
“I guess we’ll have to figure something else out so that doesn’t happen.”
Yeah, thanks for that, Sherlock. I didn’t say that, but I did roll my eyes at him, which got me a tweak on my chin. That small touch I could handle.
“What else can we ask the ball to get more information?” Toby asked Arrol.
“I’m not sure. We need to try to come at it from a different angle. But if it has restrictions regarding the book, there might not be much we can do.”
Crap. “I wish Larry would just answer.”
“Yeah, but I bet that would too easy.” Toby tried to put his arm back around me.
I, of course, got up to pace. Yes, I was a coward. “There must be some way to get even vague answers about the troll-guy.”
“We needs must think outside the bun.” Arrol did his own pacing on top of the couch.
I paused. “Don’t you mean outside the box?”
“No. Taco Bell said outside the bun. I’m sure of it.”
I laughed and got an evil-eyed glare. “I’m not laughing at you,” I said, once I got control of myself. “I just have to keep reminding myself that most of your newfound knowledge is coming from the television.”
“Whatevs.”
“Uh, can we get back to the ball?” Toby looked relaxed sitting in the chair with his feet on the railing.
So did that mean he hadn’t noticed that I wouldn’t let him put his arm around me? That was a little disappointing, to say the least.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find out, because I heard a key rattle in the door and fled into panic mode. It couldn’t be anyone but Phoebe. How was I going to explain all this to her?
The key continued rattling in the door, and I was never so thankful for these old houses with their obstinate locks.
“Stay right there,” I whispered to Toby as I ran and picked up Arrol like a football, making a mad dash for my bedroom.
By the time I got back into the living room, Phoebe was in the house, her hair disheveled and her expression thunderous. I sensed I did not have a happy camper on my hands.
“I can’t believe how hard it is to get into your house,” she yelled. After throwing her stuff down near my coat rack, she plopped down in my living room chair and huffed.
Maybe it was hard for her, but apparently not for a troll, or Toby or Arrol. Something to think about at another time. “Sorry about that.”
Toby had come in from the deck and now patted the couch next to him while looking at me. “Yeah, that’s all my fault. I’ll try to work on it right away.”
She looked slightly mollified. “Well, it would be nice if I didn’t have to fight so hard to get into the house that is supposed to be hosting me for the next few weeks while I recuperate from my ordeal.”
Oh. My. God. She’d just said weeks, hadn’t she? And what ordeal? She’d left, from what I could gather. But I forced back the scream battering at the back of my lips and straightened my spine. “Did you end up getting everything you wanted from your house?”
“Yes, I did.” She swept a hand over to the seven bags on the floor at the front door. “And Jared tried to get me to stay by seducing me.”
She didn’t look too happy about such a development. However, it seemed to me that wasn’t the action of a man who didn’t want her to darken his doorway ever again. Things were looking up. For me at least.
“Is that such a bad thing?” Toby asked before I could stop him.
Christ, were we in for it now!
“The man told me to s
kedaddle a week ago, and that he didn’t have time for me. He wanted me to make him a lunch, and then he didn’t like what I’d given him. I asked for a new dog, and he laughed at me.” Phoebe took up her own pacing, and I was glad I had stopped. There wasn’t enough room for both of us.
She continued. “I wanted to go on vacation to Tahiti this year, and he made plans for Hawaii. He asked me to go to his Christmas Party with him at the Hyatt and wanted me to wear a black dress.”
I shot Toby a look that I hoped properly conveyed my dire need for him not to say a single word.
He opened his mouth, I glared harder, and he closed his mouth. All right, that disaster had at least been avoided for the moment.
“Is there any pizza left?” Phoebe headed for the kitchen.
I saw Arrol peek his head out of my room and shooed him back.
“No, I’m sorry, there isn’t any left,” I said, waving my hand at Arrol. “Go away,” I hissed.
“I just got here, Danner. And you said I could stay for as long as I needed. What’s up with that?” Phoebe stood in the doorway to the kitchen with her hands on her little hips.
“Oh, ha! I wasn’t talking to you! I didn’t mean for you to go away!” More exclamations. Kill me now.
“Then I hope you weren’t talking to Toby. I wouldn’t want to be the reason your boyfriend left.”
Toby waggled his eyebrows at me and mouthed boyfriend. I pretended to ignore him and the nice little shiver that worked its way up my body.
“Anyway, I’m just going to grab something to snack on, and then I’ll leave the two of you alone.” She dove into my refrigerator.
Knowing the nonexistent contents of my refrigerator, I figured I had about two seconds to shove Toby out the door before she came back out. I couldn’t leave Arrol in my room too long by himself without facing death and destruction.
“Go,” I said into his ear. I nipped the lobe just to get him moving a little bit faster. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise, but you have to leave right now.”
“But—”
“Go.” I blew in his ear and then gave him a little lick on the side of his face. He tasted very yummy, in case you were wondering.
“Danner, you have absolutely nothing in this house worth eating. How on earth am I supposed to stay healthy if you don’t even have any Oreos?”
Toby scrambled off the couch and made a beeline for the door.
Smart man, that Toby.
I went off to calm the princess down, and then I was headed for the bedroom. The television hadn’t kicked on yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time. My little gnome got bored easily and wouldn’t take well to being left alone.
Witness how he’d already peeked his head out. Next thing I might see would be a little foot wiggling away.
And how would I explain that, I ask you?
“I have Oreos.” Something fell in my room. I lowered my voice. “Look above the refrigerator, but make sure you put them back when you’re done.”
She looked at me from out of the corner of her eye. “Who are you hiding them from? You live alone.”
Yeah, thanks for that reminder. But I had to think quickly. It wasn’t like I could say I was hiding them from a twelve-inch gnome that I knew couldn’t get on top of the refrigerator. “Um, Caro comes over sometimes, and if I want any left after her visit I have to hide them.”
“Caro eats Oreos?” She moved in close like I was dropping globs of gossip.
I knew I was in trouble from the gleam in her eyes at this new piece of information. Especially since it was completely false. Crap.
“Tell me more. I thought she was trying to lose weight.” She crept along the counter and stood right at my elbow.
“Well, you know, can’t tell a friend’s secrets.” Caro was going to kill me. I needed to call and warn her. “I’m going to go to bed now.” I faked a yawn. What was one more lie? “I’ll see you in the morning. Have a good night. Oh, and don’t worry if you hear the TV on tonight. I might fall asleep with it on.”
She just gave me a strange look. But I bolted before she could say anything else or make me lie again.
I stepped through my bedroom door a split second before the sounds of The Newlywed Game came blaring out of my speakers.
I went for the TV, yelling, “Oops, must not have turned the volume down enough before I turned it on.” The whole time I glared at Arrol, who was sitting on my bed with his little legs crossed and one eyebrow cocked into his hat. Little bastard. “Goodnight, Phoebe!”
“Yeah, goodnight!” Arrol said.
“Who was that?” Knocking sounded on my door.
I cleared my throat. “Um, I seem to have gotten a dwarf in my throat.” I flicked Arrol when he opened his mouth.
“Isn’t that a frog? You aren’t getting sick, are you? I can’t afford to get sick right now.” It sounded like she was standing directly on the other side of the door.
“Nope, not getting sick. Don’t worry about it. Enjoy your night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“All right.” She didn’t sound very sure, but I didn’t have time to deal with it.
I yanked Arrol’s ear while turning the sound up a little bit and then dragging him into the adjoining bathroom. It was a lot to do at once, but I was driven.
I plopped him unceremoniously onto the toilet lid. “You are very lucky that wasn’t open, because I so would have given you an impromptu bath without blinking.”
“There’s no need to be rude.”
“There is every reason to be rude. Phoebe almost heard you.”
“And would that be so bad?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, it would be bad. I’m hoping to get through her visit without freaking her out and sending her to therapy.”
“Therapy is for those who have serious mental issues. At least that’s what Jerry Springer said.”
“And I say I can’t afford it, so please try to remember that. I want you to be able to stay comfortable while you’re here, but I can’t risk her seeing you. I’d really appreciate it if you’d try to do this for me. Please.”
Sitting on the toilet lid, Arrol crossed his arms over his chest and seemed to wait for me to say something else.
I fidgeted, leaning back against the sink. The silence finally got to be too much for me. “That was all.”
“Oh, so you’re done?”
“Yep, done.”
“And may I speak now?”
“Since when do you ask permission?”
He ignored me. “You will let Toby see me—and he liked me, if you did not notice—but not your cousin? That seems highly suspect to me.”
“Toby is not mentally imbalanced.”
“And yet he seems to like you.”
“Ha-ha-ha.” Little rat bastard.
“My point being, I believe you should tell your cousin about what is going on, in case she becomes involved in some way.”
“Absolutely not.”
“She might want to leave if she knew what kind of things are roaming around here.”
“Yeah, and run right home to Mommy and tell her what a lunatic I am. She’s already glommed on to the concept that I should have some artistic talent and yet I do nothing with it.”
“You have artistic talent?” His little eyes gleamed. “What is it that you can do?”
Of course he had to ask that. Why, oh why, did I bring it up? “My parents are the great painters. I simply dabble in a little bit of everything.” Which wasn’t necessarily false. I did dabble. I did! He hadn’t said anything about how good I was.
“So are you any good? And why haven’t I seen any of your stuff? I’m a bit of an artist myself, you know.” He brushed his hands against each other, then hooked his fingers in his tool belt.
“I don’t doubt it.”
“You suck at it, don’t you?”
Crap. “Reading my mind again?”
“No, but I can try, if you don’t tell me what I want to know. This might be important.”
> I didn’t know how, but I also didn’t want him inside my head right now. “Fine. I suck at it all. I’ve tried charcoal, watercolors, pencils, and just about everything else. I have all the supplies and huge credit card bills to show for it, but my stuff looks worse than a blind pig with a brush stuck in his snout.”
“Nice visual. You are a word artist, then?”
“Uh, no, chicken scratch.” I started to feel claustrophobic in the bathroom. It might be the master bath, but it was still small.
“If you promise not to shout or anything, I’ll take you back out to the bedroom.” Yes, I was also trying to change the subject. How very astute of you.
“Quit trying to change the subject. It may be I can help you.”
“You…you could help me?” My heart stuttered. “Really help me?”
“I may be persuaded, if you get me fairies.”
I sighed. “I told you I will get you one. Don’t push.”
“One is fine for now, I suppose. Let’s go out from here and consider the possibilities.”
Oh, that sounded absolutely fabulous. I had possibilities!
Those possibilities seriously diminished after I put on the movie Willow while we talked. “So, we’ve ruled out glass-blowing, since I would like to keep my lips and lungs intact. Woodcarving would most likely lose me a finger or a limb. What else have you got?” I popped another Cheez-Doodle in my mouth. I stuck three pillows behind my back and settled in.
Arrol had found a stuffed dog from days gone by and set himself up in a comfortable position. “Well, I’ll think of something. With your blood and the direction of your thought, there must be at least one medium that would suit you.” He became engrossed in the movie when Val ended up in that little village of little people.
I went to sleep more hopeful that things could actually work out all right. I had hidden talent; Arrol had said so. Now I just needed to figure out what it was, keep a troll from taking over my life, and continue to leave Phoebe in the dark about the whole thing. Easy Peasy.
Right?
Right.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I woke up with Arrol, stiff as a statue, sitting on my stuffed dog I’d had since I was five. I stifled a scream. It was a freaky sight first thing in the morning.
Once I got myself under control and rolled to the other side of the bed, I swung my legs over the edge and hunted around with my toes for my slippers until I finally managed to find them.