by Misty Simon
“Is that it?” he asked in the near hush of reverence. He extended one hand to me. “Can I see it?”
“On one condition.” I held the book out of his reach until he nodded his head. “You cannot say the name of the book in any way, shape, or form. We shouldn’t even really think the name. I’m not sure how all this works, but Arrol did say that the thing can hear the name spoken and pop up. I want Phoebe back, but we need a plan first. Don’t you think?”
“Absolutely.” He took the book, running his hand over the spine and across the front cover. “Have you opened it yet?”
“No, not yet. I heard you yell and knocked over Arrol, and that’s how I found the book and forgot until I thought about screaming out my own frustration. Anyway, I came right down, so I haven’t had time to do anything.”
“How should we do this?” He couldn’t seem to keep his hands off the book, and I found myself wishing I was leather-bound. And yes, I meant that just like it sounded.
But I pulled myself back to the here and now. I put Arrol on Toby’s couch and made sure to prop him up on a pillow. Then I dragged Toby into his kitchen and poured homemade iced tea for myself to wet my whistle. It had been some kind of afternoon, and I needed fluids and a chance to think for a second.
We had about thirty minutes before Arrol would wake up. We could look through the book during that time, but there was still one nagging question that was sticking in my head. “I didn’t have any luck finding information on the previous owners of the house. I wish I knew whether that person on the cover is the one who had this house built. Not that she’d still be alive to help, but it might be some kind of clue.” I knocked my head against the wall. “I don’t know. I feel totally unprepared for this whole thing.”
Toby put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. “This is going to work out all right.”
“But how do you know? Arrol was adamant that we couldn’t let the book go, but I have to get Phoebe back. I cannot let the troll have my life or hers.”
“We will get this done. In fact…” He left me standing in the kitchen and darted into one of his two bedrooms. I thought it was the one he used as an office, but since I’d never been back there (except in my dreams), I couldn’t be sure.
He was back in a couple of minutes with something in hand and a big smile on his face.
“What you got there?” The smile was infectious and really darn cute.
“Something I think you’ll be very interested in seeing.” He winked at me, and my gaze dropped to his denim-covered crotch.
Completely involuntary—I assure you.
Yeah, I wasn’t even believing myself at this point.
I cleared my throat of the ball of lust hanging out there, threatening to choke me. “So what is it?”
He had totally seen the eye-drop, because the smile became a little more predatory and he stalked toward me in the long-legged way he had. Beautiful, but totally beside the point right now.
I massaged my throat and willed the lump to recede. But then he kissed me, and the lump sank into my stomach to become a wild fluttering of butterfly wings. The things that man could do with his tongue… He should be declared completely illegal.
For anyone except me, that is.
Something hard and pointy was poking me in the hip while we got lost in each other’s mouths, but I was almost positive he couldn’t be that big.
When we broke for breath, I looked down, and sure enough it wasn’t his dangly bits at all. It was a big three-ring binder. Except that, when he pulled me back against him for one last smooch, the big hard thing was digging into my stomach and the binder was flat against my back.
Ohhhhh, man.
I backed up a step, my stomach quivering like a boatload of Jell-o. “We, um…” I touched the back of my hand to my puffy lips. I swallowed. I put the same hand to my heart to make sure it was still there. “We, um, we need to get back on track here.” Yeah, that sounded real convincing.
But he appeared to take me seriously. He took his own step back and handed me the binder. “This is the folder of all my mortgage documents. I looked over it briefly and found that most of the previous owners are listed in there.” He laughed. “Along with how much they paid for the house. Made me feel kind of silly for how much I paid for it, considering it went for about two thousand dollars when it was built.”
I laughed too. “You’d have to lower my rent, if that’s all you had paid for the property.”
He smiled. “Anyway, why don’t you take that into the living room and have a glance at it? Maybe we can find the owner through that. I’m going to make some sandwiches. Think Arrol will go for that instead of pizza?”
I was already engrossed in reading back through the history of the house. “I’m sure it would be fine. I love cheesesteaks, by the way.”
“I figured as much.”
He left me alone with the book. I perused some more and eventually got to the owner of the house. I had expected her name to be Ralinda Maladasical. But instead it was Miranda Masters. Not such a bad name, from where I was standing.
But it didn’t really answer any questions now that I had the name. Like I said before, there was no way she could help us. She had to be dead for at least the last hundred and fifty years or so. And to top it all off, Arrol had said his master had lived here. Had Miranda been a wife? Was her husband the master?
The sun was setting in the back window and the wonderful smell of cooking meat wafted to me from the kitchen. I couldn’t wait to see Arrol’s face when I told him I’d found the book.
And hopefully he would have some brilliant idea about how to thwart the troll and get my cousin back at the same time. I needed to talk with the ball soon, but I’d left it up in my own apartment.
I had just risen from the big comfy chair to go upstairs and retrieve it when another shriek rent the air.
What the hell was it this time?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Why for the love of all that is natural did you have my pants down? I am outraged. Outraged, I tell you!”
Yep, that was Arrol, and he was not in a listening mood, since he’d unfrozen with his pants down around his ankles. I didn’t understand the logistics of that. The hinged door had been there a moment ago. But I couldn’t have cared less, since my ears were currently threatening to bleed from his tirade.
He yanked up his clothes and held onto the waistband of his cords like I was going to run over and pants him again. Pacing on the hearth rug in front of Toby’s fireplace, he crossed his arms over his chest and generally looked like he could spit nails if given the opportunity.
And no, this was not at all how I had wanted him to wake up. I needed his help. “If you’d just calm down for a sec—”
“I will not calm down, you brainless human!”
Jeez, we were even back to him calling me “human.” This was so not good for the plans I had for tonight. Damn. “I’m sorry.”
“You absolutely are and will continue to be.” He narrowed his already squinty eyes at me. “I do not ask for much.”
I wisely chose not to snort at that.
“But I do expect some kind of dignity to be allowed me.”
“I didn’t do it. If you’d give me a second, I could explain.”
He waved me away and stalked along the couch. “I do not want your ridiculous explanations. Nothing can make up for the humiliation you have made me endure. If you are not careful, I may report you to the Board of Magicks for unjust treatment. And I can assure you they would be very interested in Laramie’s existence. Very interested.”
Toby chose that moment to step in from the kitchen and saved me from throttling the ungrateful little bastard. He had a towel slung over his nice broad shoulder and looked better than any dinner he planned to serve.
But I was having a harder time separating my fantasy life from the reality. I loved standing in his house, watching him emerge from cooking dinner. Quick images flitted through my head. What i
f I could have this all the time? What if we really could have this kind of life all the time? What if it wouldn’t be messy including another person in my life?
But then Arrol brought me back down to earth and to the real reality. “I demand you treat me with more respect. Did you pull down my pants last night just to see what was in there and then forgot to pull them back up to hide your depravity?”
“All right, that’s enough, Arrol,” Toby said, coming more fully into the living room. He slapped the dish towel against his hand and stalked up to the indignant gnome. “Danner would never embarrass you like that.”
Arrol harrumphed.
“You need to remember what she’s done for you. I know she hasn’t delivered on the fairies yet, but she did make room for you in her house, and she’s been feeding you and clothing you.”
“De-clothing me, you mean.”
“No, I mean clothing you, just like I said.” They were nose to nose now.
I watched in horrified fascination as Toby got right in his face about the unwarranted attitude.
“She didn’t have to accept you at all. She made it damn easy for you to fall right into her life. She’s faced ridicule from the pizza delivery guy, who thinks she’s trying to pack on the pounds. And she’s protected you from Phoebe and her hysterics.”
Speaking of Phoebe and her hysterics, it was time to get down to business. Arrol could have all the time his little heart wanted to be indignant later, after I found my cousin and got rid of this threat to me and my not-so-perfect life.
“Look, I don’t have time for this bullshit, Arrol. Let’s eat dinner, and then you’ll either listen, or you won’t.”
Toby tried to catch my gaze, but I wasn’t having any of it. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but I was hungry and too mad to get a civil sentence out.
I plopped down at the table and waited for Toby to help Arrol into another chair. The silence while we ate cheesesteaks was icy. They were delicious, but despite how hungry I was, I didn’t enjoy them enough.
“Are you okay?” Toby leaned over and asked me. He put his hand on my forearm. I felt the warmth travel up my arm, registered the way it made me tingle, then dismissed it from my mind.
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
I stared at his hand on my arm, then looked back up into his eyes. He moved his hand off my arm when I didn’t say anything else.
Part of me broke off with the lost contact, and I didn’t like that at all.
With his attitude still marching across the table, Arrol had brought into stark reality why I never let any person that far into my life. Why I didn’t do relationships except for Caro. Even with her, I wasn’t always the best of friends.
And right now I was shaking on the inside, hurt and sad and angry that I’d let him hurt and sadden me. Arrol wasn’t worth feeling like this over. Yet, I couldn’t deny that the way he thought of me was important. It was all so confused in my head. I just kept eating and tried to blank my mind. The little white sheep must have been out to their own dinner, because I couldn’t get them to come in and meld with the puffy white clouds and give me some peace.
I chewed on more cheese bread and meat and avoided Arrol’s gaze. “Please pass the chips,” I said to no one in particular.
They came across the table from Toby, who tried to touch me again and get my attention. “Hey.” His voice was soft with concern.
“Please. I’m fine, okay? I don’t need someone hovering over me and my feelings.”
Nice way to be a total bitch to someone who was only trying to help me.
“I’m sorry.” I touched him this time and allowed myself that second of connection. I cut it off before I could enjoy it too much.
“It’s all right.”
But I didn’t deserve that kind of understanding. “No, I shouldn’t take out my frustration on you.” And when was I going to tell him that I had no intention of having any kind of meaningful relationship with him? That I might only use him to store up more details for my fantasy life and then let him go?
Not right now, that was for sure. And in that vein, we needed to wrap up the eating portion of the night and get on with things.
I looked at Arrol with my own set of slitted eyes. “Arrol, I will say this once, and then we will not have this discussion again.” I paused and waited to see if he would say anything. When he didn’t, I continued. “You’re more than welcome to be a little bastard about all this. Fine, be pissed that you think I would actually pull down your pants and humiliate you when I have never thought of doing something like that in my life. Fine, be a pain in the ass and start calling me ‘human’ again, though I was getting used to at least being a woman. But right now, right here, I need you to concentrate on something other than yourself.”
He turned his back on me, pretending to be absolutely fascinated with the wainscoting Toby had started adding to the living room walls.
“Phoebe was kidnapped by the troll and taken God only knows where. I have to get her back or face the wrath of her husband and probably my whole family, not to mention the fact that the troll is going to be back tomorrow and I found the name of the previous owner of this house and it doesn’t make any sense.”
I waited again for him to have something—anything—to say about all the information I was throwing out at him. For all he kept saying he wanted to meet Phoebe and have more friends, he certainly wasn’t acting like she was any great loss.
And then I hit him with the last little piece of information in my bag. If anything would change his mind about listening, this should.
I pulled the book out from behind me with a flourish and waggled it on front of his face. “I found this in your butt when a hinge door popped open.”
I don’t know that I thought a speechless Arrol was a possibility, but there it was, standing in front of me. Even his smile faded a brief moment while his mouth hung open in astonishment.
Arrol’s hand gently glided closer to the leather and gold leaf. His fingers stopped mere inches from the cover, and he hesitated. I could see the indecision on his face, even with the perma-smile.
“I haven’t opened it.”
“Have you said its name?”
“No, contrary to what you believe, I am not that stupid. I’m not ready for that thing to come back just yet, even if it would bring Phoebe.” I pulled the book back and cradled it in my arms. I didn’t have the same possessive feeling I had with the ball, but whatever I was experiencing, it did have a similar mine-and-only-mine vibe to it.
His finger stayed hovering in the air. “And where did you say you found it?” His voice had taken on a dreamy quality.
I didn’t want to break whatever spell he had going on, but I did want him to understand where it had been and take back his insults about me and my supposed perverted activities. But before I did… “Toby, can you run upstairs and get the ball? It’s on my nightstand. I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”
I turned back to Arrol and waited for him to look up at me instead of at the book.
“Where did it come from?” he asked, slightly less awed and making his way to his normally peeved voice.
“Are you really ready to hear it, or are going to tune me out as soon as I start talking, since I’m but a mere human?”
“I will listen, woman.”
“That’s better.” I took a whisper of a second to enjoy his capitulation, then got to it. “I tripped over you earlier, and you fell over. When I looked down at you, some sort of portal had opened in your, um, back, and it opened like a door on hinges.”
His eyes softened a little.
“I couldn’t get the hinge to close again.” No, I wasn’t going to lie. “Back up. I didn’t try to get the hinge to close again because I was so stunned that I’d managed to find the book, I honestly didn’t think of it. For that I am really sorry. I honestly didn’t think about what it would be like when you destoned, or I never would have left you like that. Never in a
million years.”
There was much hemming and hawing, scoffing and blustering from his position on the hearth. I let him work it out while I looked over the binding of the book to see what we were dealing with.
“I…I believe you,” he finally said, standing directly in front of me.
One of his pudgy hands rested on my wrist, and I couldn’t help staring at it, then looking back up at him. “You do?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. And I have some real issues with that, if you haven’t noticed, so I don’t know if I’ve ever said that to anyone.”
I waited for my heart to start beating again. Arrol believed me.
“And I’m sorry to have treated you the way I did. I’m not going to go into all the history right now about when I was younger, but there were reasons for my rudeness, and they weren’t all mine.”
“That sucks.”
“I want to say, though, before we get back to how things are supposed to be, I am sorry.”
The breath backed up in my lungs. Icicles formed in hell, I was sure. But I wasn’t going to mess it up by being bitchy. I chose Gracious Danner to come out and play. “Thank you, Arrol. That means a lot to me.”
“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it.” The chubby hands went to the rounded hips and that damn eyebrow quirked up. “End of mushy moment. Let’s move on. When did the troll take Phoebe?”
I fought back the tears clogging my throat.
“Come on, woman, we don’t have all night to get this done. Let’s move. And I am so getting fairies out of this when we’re done.”
I laughed, chucked him under the chin, and cracked open the book just as Toby came barreling back through the door and into the living room.
“I got it!” he yelled.
“All right. We need a plan of attack here, people, and a little boning up on the things that will repel and put down this bastard.” Arrol resumed his pacing on the hearth and looked like a little military general.
Maybe I could get him some custom-made outfits at the tailor’s down the street. I vaguely remembered having some specialty clothes for one of my homemade dolls when I was little.