He brought his gaze back to Liza. She wasn't smiling. "Liza?"
"More ice cream?"
Blankly, he looked at his bowl. It was empty. "I don't think so." He stood and carried his bowl to the sink. But he didn't have any intention of ending the discussion. It was too important to him.
Liza stood, too, and took her bowl to the sink, even though it still had a lot of ice cream in it. "I think I'm going upstairs to soak in a hot bath. I'm a little sore." She reached up and kissed him and then walked away before he could pull himself together.
He had been demanding the past two days. When he'd understood how willing she was to be with him, he hadn't held back. He felt guilty that he'd overdone it.
So, he'd give her some space. Maybe they'd watch a movie tonight, a comedy.
Then they'd talk later.
* * *
Liza lay in the hot bath, tears streaming down her face. Had she ever thought of having kids? Oh, yeah. But when she was eighteen and went to the doctor for birth control, he'd told her not to bother. After an examination, he'd told her scars from surgery she'd had when she was a child would make it almost impossible for her to get pregnant.
She'd shed many tears at the time. Then she'd had another doctor examine her, to be sure. He'd given her the same diagnosis.
She'd vaguely held out some hope based on that "almost," but she'd never taken birth control pills, as if daring the fates to give her what she wanted. But she'd remained barren.
She thought she'd accepted her fate. But when Nick began talking about his children, the hurt had been worse than ever. Because it had also meant the end to her hopes of the future. If she couldn't give Nick the children he so badly wanted, then she couldn't marry him.
Nick should have whatever he desired. He was such a good man, tender, kind, loving. He'd be a perfect father, the kind every little boy should have, the kind every little girl dreamed of.
She certainly had.
To have a daddy who cared, who protected, who loved you. Uncle Joe had been good to her, but her own father seldom took any interest in her. Even Jackson, her brother, hadn't drawn much interest from their father.
When Liza learned that her father had had an affair with Meredith—the new Meredith, his own brother's wife—that had resulted in Meredith's youngest child, Liza had stopped hoping her father would turn to her.
She had no respect for him.
She'd kept his secret, but it was for Uncle Joe's sake. Her father didn't even know she knew. She'd overheard a conversation between Meredith and him. Her mother wasn't the kind of mother little girls needed, but at least she hadn't done something so dishonorable.
But Nick? Nick would be a perfect father.
She couldn't deny him his dreams.
"You knew all along you didn't have a future," she muttered to herself. But that had been before he'd taken her into his arms and made them one. Before he'd given her the wonderful gift of his love. He hadn't said he loved her, but she believed he did.
As she loved him.
But he didn't know her flaws, especially the most important one.
There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Hey, have you drowned? You've been in there long enough to shrivel up."
"It's a new diet theory," she said, trying to keep from revealing the tears in her throat.
"Like you need to diet. I thought we'd watch a movie when you get out. How about Charade? It's an oldie but goodie."
"Great. I'll be right out."
She didn't move until she heard his steps moving away from the door. Then she scrubbed her face in the still-warm water, hoping he wouldn't notice her red-rimmed eyes.
When she got down to the den in her nightgown and robe, she found Nick reading a medical journal, a bowl of popcorn and a couple of sodas sitting on the coffee table in front of him.
He looked up at once. "You must be the cleanest human being on earth by now."
"Of course. That's my claim to fame," she assured him, working on her smile.
"Well, come let me get a whiff of you so I can really appreciate all that effort."
She didn't hesitate. After several heated kisses, she was surprised when he released her. "We'll have to start the movie, or we'll be up all night." He leaned forward and picked up the remote.
Liza stared at him. Had he figured out what was wrong with her? Did he not want her anymore? She couldn't complain, in case she was right, so she lay her head on his shoulder and watched the opening credits of the movie he'd chosen.
By the time it ended, she agreed with him. The movie was wonderful. And she would've liked to point out that the hero was older than the heroine. And the heroine had had to work hard to convince him, just as she'd had to convince Nick that she wanted him.
"Did you like it?"
"I loved it," she assured him, smiling but giving no details.
"Good. Ready for bed?"
She nodded. She was ready for him. But after that first night, she'd never had to insist. He'd initiated the lovemaking. So she headed for the bedroom.
They got ready for bed with no conversation. Liza slid under the covers first and waited for her lover. When he turned out the lights and joined her, she scooted closer.
"Night, Liza," he murmured and turned his back to her.
Stunned, she lay there in the dark, then she tapped him on the shoulder. "I think you forgot something," she said stiffly. Okay, she'd accepted the fact that they had no future. At least she was trying. But that didn't mean she was willing to say goodbye tonight.
"What?"
"You didn't kiss me good-night."
"Um, honey, I can't."
That stopped her. Why couldn't he? "You're coming down with a cold?"
"No."
"So you don't want me anymore?"
That had him turning back to face her. He grabbed her hand and let her feel for herself how much he wanted her. Then he groaned.
"But I don't understand. If you want me—"
"You said you were sore!" He huffed a big sigh. "I'm not a monster to insist on making love when it might hurt you, honey. I'm trying to be a gentleman about this."
"Oh, Nick, I just wanted to soak in a tub. I'm fine. I don't want a gentleman. I want you!"
His arms wrapped around her. "Hey, are you saying I'm not a gentleman?"
She smiled and kissed him. Then she said, "I'm saying you're perfect, and I want you."
He didn't hesitate then, and they made glorious love. Maybe even more passionately than ever because Liza now knew the time would come when she'd have to leave.
When Nick had fallen asleep, she stared into the dark, silent tears sliding from her eyes onto the pillow.
Paradise, with Nick, wasn't for her.
And she couldn't even explain why. Because he'd deny himself his dream. She already knew that much about him.
So she'd have to be strong and walk away.
But not tonight.
Twelve
Over the next couple of days, as long as Liza could live from day to day, she'd never been happier.
Her days were spent helping Bonnie with the housework and writing music. Her evenings were filled with Nick. Only concern about Emily worried her. She was due to call Sunday morning again, and Liza had a problem.
She needed to prepare for her departure from Nick's house because she didn't know exactly how long she could stay there. She'd even called Detective Ramsey to see if there was any word on the man who'd broken into her apartment. The detective could only tell her they were watching her apartment, but the man hadn't shown up again.
When she had to leave, she didn't know if she'd be able to go back to her apartment. But she needed a number so Emily would know where to call her.
And she didn't want to have that discussion in front of Nick.
So she'd been devising various ways to take the call from Emily alone, without either Bonnie or Nick hearing her. So far, her plans weren't too impressive.
There was so much she wanted to te
ll Emily. They'd always shared their deepest hopes and dreams with each other. Emily knew about Liza's physical limitations. She'd want to know if Nick knew, if Liza told her how she felt about him. Liza didn't want to discuss that situation. But she wanted to tell Emily about what she felt in Nick's arms and the joy that filled her…until she remembered that it would soon end.
When the phone finally rang on Sunday morning, about eleven-thirty, she was in the kitchen, helping Bonnie prepare dinner. Bonnie answered the phone and then handed it to Liza. She felt awkward asking to take the call in the den, so she'd just need to be careful of what she said.
"Liza, are you all right?" Emily asked after they'd greeted each other.
"Of course."
"Well, you sound uncomfortable. Is someone with you?"
"Yes." She should've known Emily would understand.
"But you're all right?"
"For the time being, but…things change."
"Are you talking about moving somewhere else? How will I reach you?"
"At home."
"The apartment in New York, or in California?"
"The first," Liza said carefully.
"Would that be safe? What about that horrible man? Won't he find you? Don't go back to your apartment, Liza," Emily urged. "Couldn't you disguise yourself, check into a hotel in New York City with a different name?"
Liza tried to figure how to explain the difficulty to her cousin. "But can't I call you?"
"Oh. You don't know the number to give me, do you? Okay, I'm using another name, Emma Logan. Call the Mi-T-Fine Café in Keyhole." Then she gave her the number, before adding, "Ask for the name I gave you. Then I'll call you later when I'm off work."
"Are you sure you'll be safe?" Liza asked, not wanting her problems to complicate Emily's life. She already had a lot to deal with.
"No, that'll be fine."
"Have you thought about Rand?"
"Yes, but I'm not ready to do that."
"But, Em, I really think—"
"I can't, Liza, I just can't. Any word about Dad? Is he still all right?"
"As far as I know. I haven't heard anything. I haven't even checked my messages because I didn't want to leave this number on the caller ID in the apartment."
"Oh, I hadn't thought of that," Emily said.
"Look, I'll find a way to check before you call next. When will that be?"
"Should I call this number until I hear from you?"
"Yes. Next Wednesday?"
"Okay, but it will have to be about this time. I'm working the late shift all next week."
"Okay. I'll be here, and I'll try to get all the information I can. Take care of yourself, Em."
"You, too, especially if you move. Are you sure you can't stay there?"
"I don't know."
"You're worrying me, Liza. Is the doctor being difficult? I mean, he's not hitting on you, is he?"
Liza almost broke into hysterical laughter. If anything, she was the one hitting on him. But she loved him—which was the reason she couldn't stay. "No, he's fine. How about your deputy?"
"Sweet but shy, so I'm not having any problems. Look, I have to go. I have errands to run before I go to work, but I'll call on Wednesday. Take care of yourself."
"You, too," Liza said, wishing she could see her cousin in person. She hung up the phone, feeling sad and a little frightened. Since Nick had taken her into his home, she hadn't felt like this, but knowing that she would have to leave reminded her that the world was a frightening place.
"You okay?" Bonnie asked.
She turned around to see the housekeeper watching her, concern in her gaze. "Yes, I'm fine."
"I think I have an answer to one of your problems. Not that I was eavesdropping, you know, but you mentioned being unable to call your apartment. You could ask Nick to call and pick up the messages from his offices. It would be normal for your doctor to follow up with a phone call. No one would think anything of him doing that."
Suddenly, Liza was glad she hadn't taken the call in private, because Bonnie's solution to one of her problems was perfect. "That's terrific, Bonnie. I'll ask Nick as soon as he gets home from church."
"I don't think it'll take much persuasion," Bonnie said, grinning. "If you asked him to swim an ocean, I suspect he'd dive in at once."
Liza blinked away the sudden tears. "Oh, I wouldn't make that kind of demand," she said. She wouldn't even insist that Nick marry her when she couldn't give him children. But she would ask about retrieving her phone messages.
Nick, of course, was willing to retrieve her messages. He even suggested they go to his office after their meal. Liza was thrilled at the idea of going out, but she worried about the safety factor.
"Are you sure it'll be safe?"
"On the weekends no one is around, so you can listen to the messages yourself. But just to be safe, you can put on a hat or something."
Liza eagerly leaned forward. "Bonnie, do you have a hat I can borrow?"
"Even better, I have a blond wig you can wear," she said, beaming at Liza. "I wore it for a costume party years ago. Don't know why I kept it, but it's packed away in the attic."
"Wonderful. I'm excited that I can go out. Not that I don't love it here," she hastily added as Nick frowned. "But I might have a little touch of cabin fever."
"Well, of course you do," Bonnie agreed. "I certainly would if I never even got to go to the grocery store, much less the movies or shopping."
"We're not doing any of those things, Liza. We're only going to the office."
"I know. But I appreciate it, Nick. I really do."
An hour later she settled into the front seat of Nick's Mercedes, Bonnie's blond wig securely pinned on. She felt like a little girl playing dress-up, but if it got her safely into Nick's office to collect her messages, it was worth it.
"How is Emily?" he asked as he drove.
"Oh, fine. She seems comfortable."
"No problems? Bonnie thought maybe you were upset about something. She said you sounded nervous."
Liza caught her breath. She didn't want to lie to Nick, but she had no choice. "I'm worried about her. Hiding long-term is different from hiding for a few days. I'm afraid that man will eventually catch up with her."
"Hmm. Detective Ramsey said the guy who came to the hospital and the apartment hadn't been seen since."
"Yes. But then he thinks this whole affair is about money," Liza said grimly. A difference of opinion compared to her and Emily's thoughts.
"So you think he's still after Emily even though the money's been collected?"
"Yes."
Nick frowned but said nothing else as he pulled into the parking lot of his office. He drove to the back of the building, where his private entrance was.
"Wait here until I get the door unlocked, then hurry in, okay?" He didn't wait for agreement, assuming she would do as he asked.
And she did. He was a little dictatorial, but in this case, he was also right. When he swung the door open, she hurried from the car and the bright sunshine into the shadowy hallway. Then he unlocked his private office.
She sank down into a chair in front of his desk and reached for the phone. He slid a pad and pen across the desk so she could write down any messages she listened to.
With shaky fingers, she dialed her apartment number. It made her nervous to contact the outside world, to step away from Nick's protection. What would it do to her when she had to leave?
The first five calls were from her mother. Her irritated voice demanded that Liza call her, demanded that Liza return to her tour, demanded that Liza obey her mother. Then there was a cautionary call from Uncle Joe, concern in his voice about her safety, about Emily. Her eyes filled with tears and Nick reached out to take her hand.
"You okay?"
She nodded. The next message was from the man who broke into her apartment, threatening her. Her gaze widened in fright. "It's him!"
"Who?" Nick demanded.
"That man! The one who—"
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Nick punched a button for the speaker phone.
"I'm gonna find you, bitch, and you'll get what you deserve, you and your little cousin. So say your prayers, because doomsday is coming soon!"
Liza closed her eyes, shuddering.
There were only a couple more calls from her mother. When she hung up, Nick picked up the phone.
"We've got to inform Detective Ramsey about that call."
"But, Nick, it—it makes it clear he doesn't have Emily, and that murder is his intention."
"I know. Ramsey needs to know what's going on, honey. We have to call him."
Liza finally nodded. She wasn't sure how the detective would react, but Nick was right. They had to tell him.
Ramsey wasn't working, but when Nick explained why they'd called, the receptionist offered to call the detective at home and have him call Nick at his office.
Liza stood and crossed to the window, her back to Nick. He hung up the phone and came to her side, putting an arm around her. "Are you all right?"
"Yes, of course. Just worried."
The phone rang.
Nick explained the situation to the detective and he promised to be at the office in ten minutes. Nick directed him to come to the back of the building. He'd be watching for him.
When the detective arrived, Liza replayed her messages, this time on the speaker phone. When he'd heard the message from the man who'd broken in to her apartment, he asked to hear it again.
Then he looked at Liza. "He wants to kill both of you. There's no mention of the ransom."
"You said they already collected the ransom."
"How long have you known that murder was his intention, instead of kidnapping, Ms. Colton, because I don't think you mentioned that before."
The man was frowning at her, and Nick stepped to her side in a protective move that made her feel better. "I actually wasn't sure, but if it was caused by…someone in the family, it didn't make sense. Uncle Joe is generous and has a lot of money."
"I guess I should've picked up on it earlier when the kitchen worker was killed."
The Doctor Delivers Page 12