I’d spent the last four days meeting with lawyers, trying to find one who understood that I wanted to fight this case and that I didn’t want to just lay back while Harrison left the state with my little brother. But once I told them that I was fighting the Harrison Philips, they all backed out as gracefully as they could. Except for one. One simply stated that he would rather cut off his left hand than face the kind of legal super stars a man like Harrison Philips could bring to the table.
I was screwed and I knew it.
Jack—good ole loyal Jack—was more than willing to go up against whoever Harrison brought to court the next time. Jack was like Nick, a boy who grew up in this little town, older than me, but close to my parents because my parents befriended everyone they ever met. And after their deaths, he began to have certain ideas about me, about how I was this single girl with this new, overwhelming burden who needed to be taken care of. I’d probably end up marrying one of them. Someday. But now wasn’t that time.
Now I needed a good lawyer, not a small town boy.
What I needed, I couldn’t put into words.
“Penelope?”
I turned and—wouldn’t you know it?—Harrison was standing just inside the back door of the bakery.
“Are you having me watched now?”
“No, I was—“
“I don’t really care what you’re doing downtown in the middle of the night. I just want you to go.”
“We need to talk. You know we do.”
“I know I need you to leave me the hell alone.”
“Are you going to be angry with me forever?”
“I might be, yes.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him, unable to ignore how incredible he looked in the clothes he was wearing. But, again, he looked good in just about anything. Sweats should be illegal on some men, the way they ignored everything but the good parts, showing off asses that were round and delicious, the kind of ass that made palms itching to touch it. And, despite the slight chill in the air, he was wearing a white muscle tank that showed off more than his muscles. Something low in my stomach tightened as I stared at him, my body betraying me even as anger burned in my chest.
“Can’t we find a way to make this work?”
“What would you like to do, trade him back and forth? I get the weekdays and you get the weekends and every other Christmas?”
A tendon in his jaw jumped a little. “No. But surely there’s a way we can work this out without one of us losing everything.”
“You could back off. He’s going to be eighteen in two and a half years. He could make his own choice then.”
“Then I would lose all of his childhood. Is that really fair?”
“Is it fair to tear him away from his home so soon after he lost his parents?”
“I’m his father!”
Harrison’s voice rose a little and he jammed a finger into his own chest, as though he was trying to convince more than just me. And the look in his eyes, that puppy dog roundness he got when he thought he was being denied something. I could imagine him as a child, turning that look on his parents and getting everything he ever wanted. That look made me want to give him everything.
Except my brother.
I dragged my fingers through my hair, not sure what more there was to say. He took a step forward, but stopped.
“I just…” he began, his voice lower, quieter. “I just want to know my son.”
“You had your chance sixteen years ago.”
He shook his head. “But that’s the thing. I never had a chance.” He took another step forward, but stopped again before he made any real progress. “I didn’t know about him. The people who should have told me didn’t. And the one who should have shared all this with me thought that I had no interest. And that—“
“I don’t want to know,” I said, turning from him. “I don’t want to know your story. I don’t want to care about you or what happened to you. I don’t want—“
“Why?”
He was closer. He was standing behind me, but I didn’t turn. I couldn’t look at him anymore. I couldn’t let my thoughts go to all the places they so desperately wanted to go.
But he wasn’t about to let it go.
Harrison laid his hands on my shoulders, his fingers biting into my flesh. It wasn’t so much the way he touched me, but the fact that he was touching me. There was heat in his touch that woke things inside of me that had only been woken once—the night he lay with me in my bed.
I turned and he opened his mouth to say something more, but I pressed a hand to his mouth.
“Don’t talk,” I said softly.
And then I kissed him.
Men used women all the time. Why couldn’t women use men?
He’d used me the other night. I was only returning the favor. And I so desperately needed to forget. I needed to forget everything that had been happening even if it was only for a few minutes, even if my way of forgetting would only muddy the water that much more. I needed this and I think I had the right to take it.
And he wasn’t fighting it.
He buried his fingers in my tangled hair, tugging me so close to him that there were no secrets between us. I pressed my hands under his shirt, trying to make the difficult choice of going up and running my fingers over those perfect muscles, or going down and smoothing my palms over his hard ass. Or both.
Definitely both.
He tugged at my shirt, forcing me back from him for the long second it took to strip it away. And then he was pushing me backward, trapping me against the edge of my desk, wiping away a carefully stacked pile of papers. I sat back happily, working at the drawstring that kept his pants in place even as he tugged at the waist of my sweats.
I’ve never been naked in my parents’ bakery before. I’d made out here—one too many times—when I was in high school. It was convenient, having a key to a private building when everyone else was making out in the back of their parents’ station wagon. But I’d always ended things before they got to that point of no return. Having a strict curfew and living in a small town where everyone knew everyone else, therefore everyone knew who was with who, was convenient.
I’d had sex on a desk before, but that was a long, complicated story. And it had not been anything like this.
Harrison was beautiful. And he knew exactly what he was doing when he touched me. His hands slid over my thighs as he bent for another kiss, his tongue dancing in my mouth like a ballerina on a New York stage. I ached for him in a way that took my breath away, and it threatened to push me to heights I never even dreamed of.
I tugged at his pants, wrapped my fist around him as he moaned deep in his throat. And then he was inside of me, that tenuous connection creating something I never thought I could be a part of. I was too cynical, too independent to ever be open to the kind of love my parents shared. And I was too stubborn to allow even a good guy, like Nick, to break through my walls. But this…there was such promise in Harrison’s touch that my soul was beginning to think…maybe.
I grabbed his ass and pulled him closer to me, needing this. My mind went blank for the first time in days, weeks even. My heart pounded, my muscles tightened. Harrison held my hips, pulled me close to him, too, and I didn’t want him to let go. I wanted this to last forever. I wanted to live in a world where this was all that mattered. But the good things can never last.
My lower belly began to quiver and my muscles threatened to clench. A moan like nothing I’d ever heard before slipped from between my lips. My vision darkened even as I lifted my arms to his shoulders and wrapped them around his neck. I felt his lips on mine, but my nerves were exploding and they weren’t working the way they should have done. I heard him whisper something against my ear, but I didn’t understand.
And then his heat was burning inside of me and his muscles were quivering, his hold on my hips becoming tenuous.
I’d given him pleasure. The same he’d given me.
That thought was li
ke a second orgasm, making strange things happen in my chest. Tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t stop them even if I’d had forewarning, even if I could control anything about this whole situation.
“Penny?”
He pulled back, his hand reaching to wipe away the first of the tears.
“Don’t,” I said, pushing at his chest. I pushed hard, jerking away from him and grabbing my pants off the floor. “Please go.”
“Penny, I just—“
“Leave before I call the police.”
He was quiet for a long moment, but then I could feel the wind of his movement, the heat of his anger. Then he brushed past me and walked out, slamming the heavy fire door behind him.
I collapsed onto the floor, the sobs coming so quickly that all I could do was give in to them.
Chapter 14
Harrison
“What kind of questions will the judge ask him?”
Finn looked up and offered a shrug that didn’t really make me feel any better.
“He’ll want to know what he thinks about this situation. What he thinks about you, about his sister. And then he will take all that into consideration when he makes his decision.”
I nodded as I paced the surprisingly large hotel room. Finn flew in last night to work with the local lawyer he’d found for me at the hearing in the morning. I’d known Finn for years. We actually went to the same university, but Finn was two years ahead of me. We didn’t meet until ten years ago when I expanded Ashland Furniture into Ashland-Philips and he helped with the requisite paperwork. He’d been my attorney ever since.
“I know this is nerve wracking, Harrison,” Finn said, “but we have a strong case. I don’t think the judge could keep your son from you based on the law. As emotional as adoptions are, they are essentially a contract. And a contract requires agreement from all parties. But you didn’t give your consent.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“It is pretty simple.”
I wished it was. But even as I stood there in that hotel room, one foot back in the life I left behind in Oregon, I couldn’t stop thinking about Penelope and…and what? What happened the other night? Why did she attack me like that and then push me away when she so clearly needed me? Or needed someone?
I understood she was angry with me. Hell, I’d be angry with me in her position. But then to kiss me, to let me touch her, to…I didn’t understand. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
And I couldn’t stop wanting her.
It was all so insane. I was on the cusp of getting what I wanted, and now I find myself regretting all of it. I regret coming here, I regret calling her into the classroom to talk about JT. I regret the way things played out, the way JT learned the truth about me. And I desperately regret that we have to face off in court again tomorrow.
Could I have done things differently?
Yes.
Would the results have been different if I had handled the situation better?
I don’t know. Maybe not.
If I had met Penelope under any other circumstances, would things be the same? Would she be the same person she is now? Would I?
I hated this. I prided myself on being a man who knows what’s going on around him. I walk into a business meeting, I know exactly who’s going to argue for the sake of arguing, who’s going to agree with everything I have to say, and who’s going to have some valid points I’d damn well better be prepared to counter. I always had control, always knew what the outcome was going to be before we even got to that point.
I didn’t know how this was going to end and that scared the crap out of me.
“Have you spoken to Julia Rowell?”
I glanced at Finn. “Who?”
“Julia Rowell. The biological mother.”
“Oh.” I’d not heard anyone ever refer to Julia as more than just Julia. “She’s flying in this afternoon.”
“Good. It’ll only help our case to have her in the courtroom.”
“A little worried about JT. This will be the first time he’s met his biological mother. I’m afraid it’ll be too much for him.”
“Then we’ll keep them apart until after he’s given his testimony. Shouldn’t be a problem.”
I nodded, but that wasn’t really my point. I didn’t care about JT’s testimony. I cared that JT had had to deal with a lot this past week. Meeting Julia might just be that proverbial straw. Especially if the judge ruled quickly and ruled in my favor.
I needed to talk to Penelope about it, but I was afraid that any overture I made would be rebuffed. I hadn’t seen her since that night in the bakery, but I hadn’t really expected to. Still, it felt like the right thing to do. She was his sister. She would know how much he could handle.
“And your mother?”
I shook my head. “Not coming.”
“That’s not good,” Finn said, putting down the papers he’d been studying to regard me full on. “Why not?”
“I didn’t ask her.”
“Harrison—“
“That’s not negotiable.”
“But you identified her handwriting in court. You told the judge that she was the one who forged your signature. Her testimony to that effect would solidify our case.”
“You already said our case was pretty strong. Why do we need to solidify it any further?”
Finn stood and took off his glasses, stretching a little as he came toward me. “Because it never hurts to have an overwhelming amount of evidence in a case like this. You know that.”
I shook my head. “She’s not coming.”
Finn studied my face for a long minute and then nodded, backing off of the subject.
“Libby?”
“She flies in this afternoon too.”
“Good. At least we’ll have someone to offer a character reference.”
“Do I really need people to testify to what a great guy I am?”
“It doesn’t hurt.”
Finn came over and patted my arm lightly. “Nothing in family court is ever set in stone. This could, realistically, go either way. But, like I said, it’s basically a contract case and all the evidence is in your favor. However, every little bit helps, like putting a shine on the diamond.”
I had to admit that I saw the logic in his words. But I still felt uneasy about this whole thing. I wished we didn’t have to go in front of the judge. I wished…but wishes never did anybody any good, did they?
*****
Libby threw her arms around me the moment she stepped onto the tarmac, a huge smile on her pretty face.
“Hello, Harry,” she said softly against my ear.
“Thank you for coming.”
“Where else would I be?”
She stepped back and studied my face, running soft fingertips along my unshaven jaw.
“Having trouble sleeping?”
I shrugged. “Night time is a good time for a long run.”
She shook her head. “You should take better care of yourself.”
“I’m fine.”
I turned, sliding a hand over her shoulder to lead her to the car. She climbed in, graceful in her business suit, offering me a wink as she pulled the seatbelt into place. I got in and started the car, driving a little too fast out of the private airport’s gates.
“How’s it going with Finn and the case?”
“We’re jumping right into it, huh?”
“I figure it’s better to acknowledge the elephant in the room sooner rather than later.”
I carefully pulled the car into traffic and turned onto the country highway that would take us to the small town that was JT’s home. I was buying time, pretending that this route I’d taken hundreds of times over the last six weeks or so was more complicated than it really was.
“Finn wants Mom to testify.”
“I have to admit, I was a little surprised you didn’t talk to her about it.”
“I don’t think I want to know what she did. Then I would have to acknowledge to mysel
f that it was her who created this mess.”
“Mom was never an angel, Harry. Dad just outdid her because he was louder and more aggressive.”
An image of my mother, beautiful and frail, flashed through my mind. My mom was always the person I could run to when my father was on a tirade, the one who let me hide behind her skirts when I was little and my father decided I needed a spanking to get me back on the right track. Later, she was the one who came into my bedroom with a peanut butter sandwich when my father sent me to bed without dinner, or who helped me sneak out when I was grounded but there was some party I wanted to go to. She was my coconspirator, my confidant. She knew about the tattoos, the drinking and the questionable behavior. She knew how desperately I wanted to be a teacher, how much I wanted to shape young minds. She knew how difficult it was for me to give up my dreams when my father passed away and the complete mess he’d left behind was revealed.
My mom was my saving grace. To know now that she was also the one who stole my son’s childhood from me was almost unbearable. I wasn’t ready to face it.
“JT is supposed to come over right after we get to my place. You’ll get to meet him.”
“Finally.” Libby smiled. “I’ve been looking forward to this moment ever since you told me about him.”
“Me too.”
I reached over and squeezed her hand. Her smile widened as she tugged my hand against her thigh and ran her other hand over the back of it.
Libby was…Libby and I had a complicated relationship. She was a child when I went off to college, only fifteen when our father died. She was a responsibility, someone else I had to watch over and care for in my father’s absence. Not only did I have to fix everything to protect our mother, not only did I have to keep my older brother from interfering in something he was never prepared to deal with, but I had this child I had to watch over, keep from trouble. I had to keep her from walking down the same road my brother and I had walked.
And then she walks into my office one day, all of twenty years old and fresh from her college graduation, and she wanted a job. I nearly laughed her out of the office. Seven years later, I can’t imagine what I’d do without her.
JOSS: A Standalone Romance (Gray Wolf Security) Page 85