by Ray Gordon
Leaning with my back against the tree, I closed my eyes, ignoring Den's lewd comments as he grabbed the collar and finally walked across the lawn to make his escape. There was no escape for me, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I couldn't hide from my mind, my wracked and tormented mind.
Opening my eyes beneath the shade of the tree, I focused on the daisies. They were watching me, knew my secrets. Mat knew my secrets. I had no secrets now. The world knew of my immorality, my adultery. My secure moorings gone, I'd sailed down the river, floated out of the estuary and was now adrift on a sea of uncertainty. Would a passing ship rescue me?
I slept beneath the tree for an hour, maybe more. I dreamed dreams, dreams of crude sex - dreams of Lisa. Naked, my holes drained, my thighs sticky, I finally woke and looked about me. What time was it? The time didn't matter, there was no time. Staggering to my feet, I clung to the gnarled tree trunk to steady my aching body. After the debauchery the garden lay quiet again, as in a photograph. The hoe watched me.
"God," I breathed, lurching across the lawn to the house, "what have I done?"
Staggering through the hall I saw yet another envelope on the doormat. Screwing it up, I tossed it into the bin and dragged myself upstairs. Taking a shower, I washed away the sperm, my lust juices, the evidence of my debauchery. The hot water stung my crimson buttocks and again I wondered what sort of man Mat was. He'd thrashed me, fucked my arsehole. I hated the word. I hated Mat. Taking the shower nozzle from the wall, I pressed it between my buttocks, my burning anal ring making a seal as the water gushed into my bowels.
"Oh, God!" I whimpered as the filling sensation sent shudders of ecstasy through my naked body. My bowels brimming, I moved the nozzle aside, the hot water and sperm gushing from my sore aperture, streaming down my legs. Parting my fleshy pussy lips, I pressed the nozzle against my vaginal entrance, filling my inflamed sex cavern with water, shuddering as my pelvis bloated.
"God!" I cried again as my trembling hand dropped the nozzle, my inflated cunt gushing, a waterfall cascading down my inner thighs. My clitoris swollen as my cleansed holes drained, I needed to come yet again, but I was too exhausted to masturbate. I needed Lisa - she'd masturbate me, lovingly lick my clitoris to orgasm with her wet tongue.
Trying to clear my mind of all thoughts of sex, I finally emerged from the shower and dried my naked body. My nipples hurting like hell, I decided not to wear a bra. My buttocks stinging, my vaginal lips inflamed, I forsook my knickers, too. I enjoyed being naked - naked beneath the veil. Lisa was always naked beneath her skirt. Her cunt was naked too, devoid of black curls. I'd shave my cunt, but not yet.
What was left of the afternoon passed quietly. There were no sounds of canes thrashing buttocks, no exhalations of breath, no squelching sounds of lust. I sat in the garden beneath the sun, gazing at the apple tree. My thoughts drifted, rising, floating like pieces of charred paper soaring up from a bonfire. They were going nowhere, meaningless.
"Hi," Carole called as she rounded the side of the house. Her blue skirt was short, revealing her shapely thighs. Her blouse loose, her sumptuous breasts desired freedom. "I've been ringing the bell."
"Sorry, I was dreaming," I smiled, rising to my feet. "I didn't hear."
"I'm not staying, I was just passing. Sunbathing again?" she giggled. "It's all right for some."
"All right?"
"Having Mat to earn the money while you live a life of leisure."
"It's the same for you, isn't it?"
"Yes, I suppose it is. We're lucky, aren't we?"
Lucky? Was I lucky to have Mat? Hardly! Would Carole think herself lucky in my position? I imagined Carole naked, her legs spread, her thighs wide, her cunt crack gaping. I wanted to lick her to orgasm. What was wrong with me? I felt wickedness rising from the dungeons of my mind as she sat on a patio chair. I wanted to show her my cunt. No, I mustn't!
Sitting opposite her, my hands trembling, I parted my thighs slightly. "How are things?" I asked, not really wanting to know as my juices bubbled between my pussy lips. The sun behind her, she was a silhouette - surreal.
"Things are fine. Jane, I've come to talk to you about..." She hesitated, her eyes frowning.
"About what?"
"When I rang you... you were in trouble, weren't you?"
"There was someone in the room with me, I couldn't talk."
"You did enough talking!"
"I... I had to make someone believe that... It doesn't matter, it's all OK now."
"I think there are things that you want to tell me. You've changed, you're not your old self."
"Secrets aren't secrets when shared."
"Friends are there to share secrets with, Jane."
"My secrets can't be shared. Too many people know as it is. Let's change the subject."
Parting my thighs further, I reclined in the chair, closing my eyes to the bright sun. Was she looking up my skirt, gazing at my full vaginal lips, my sex crack? I imagined she was, and I allowed my thighs to open a little wider. I didn't know what I was trying to do, why I was displaying my most intimate place to my best friend. Perhaps, in the sexual mist swirling through my confused mind, I wanted her to drop to her knees and lick my sex crack, suck my clitoris to orgasm.
"You've been letting the garden go," she said. "It's about time you got that hoe into action, look at the weeds."
"I know," I replied dreamily, the sun warming my face. Could she see my cunt? I parted my thighs even further. "I must use the hoe more often."
"Jane, are you OK?"
"The sun's making me a little sleepy."
"You shouldn't sit like that without... without your panties on."
"Like what?"
"With your legs apart, I can see all you've got."
"Oh, sorry!" I giggled, sitting upright and pressing my thighs together. "I didn't put my panties on after my shower. To be honest, I don't wear anything beneath my skirt in the summer."
"You should be more careful, if you do that in public, you'll..."
"It's OK, I don't sit like that in public. It was the sun, I was almost falling asleep."
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about the phone call?"
"Positive."
"Well, I'd better go. It's five o'clock, John will be home soon expecting to eat."
"Five? God, I'd better think about the evening meal, too."
"I'll ring you tomorrow."
"Yes, we'll meet in town for coffee."
"OK, see you."
Watching her walk around the side of the house, I wondered what she'd thought about my cunt. Had she wanted to touch me there? No, probably not. I shouldn't have allowed her to see. At least she'd thought I'd displayed my vaginal lips in innocence. She didn't know the whore I really was, or of my lesbian desires.
Taking the matured curry from the fridge, I recalled the carrot massaging my inner vaginal flesh, gently fucking me as I'd moved about. Mat wouldn't know where the carrot had been as he enjoyed his meal. I felt wicked - I wanted to retaliate, to get my own back for all he'd put me through. Had he sent the notes?
"Why should I cook for him?" I wondered aloud, placing the bowl back in the fridge. He didn't deserve anything, I reflected. The bastard could make his own meals in future. I was about to go for a walk when I heard a key in the front door. Mat was home from work early - if he'd been to work after fucking my arsehole!
"Hi!" he smiled as he breezed into the kitchen. "Had a good day?"
"Not bad, and you?"
"Busy, busy. What's to eat?"
"Nothing, I haven't had time to cook."
"Why's that?"
"Lisa came round, she's only just left."
"Lisa?"
"Yes, we sat in the garden and the time just flew. There's curry in the fridge, if you want to warm it up."
"What did she want?"
"What do you mean, what did she want?"
"Why did she come round?"
"To see me, of course. Mat, I do wish you'd tell me what your proble
m is with Lisa. Every time I mention her name you start questioning me and acting funny."
"There's no problem with her."
"Good, because we're thinking about having a holiday together."
"A holiday?"
"Yes, Greece for a week or..."
"Jane, I don't want you going off on holiday with Lisa."
"Why ever not? You invited Den and Lisa to our barbeque and, now I've become friendly with her, you don't want me to have anything to do with her."
"It's not that, Jane."
"Then, what is it? If I tell you that Carole's coming round for coffee, you don't flinch an eyelid, but if I mention Lisa..."
"Coffee's one thing, but going abroad?"
"A Greek island, just for a week. You'll be OK, won't you?"
"Yes, of course, but... Oh, I don't know. I was talking to Den earlier, he said that you'd had a visitor, a man."
"A man? When was this?"
"This morning, he saw a man come here."
"No one's been to the house today, apart from Lisa. It sounds as if he's up to his old tricks again."
"Old tricks?"
"Trying to stir things. I don't know why you're so friendly with him, he's nothing but trouble."
"But he saw a man arrive and come into our house."
"It must have been a ghost because I didn't see anyone. Are you going to have curry or not?"
"No, I'll have something later."
"Well, I'm going out for a walk. It's a nice evening and Lisa said she'd go to the recreation ground. I'd said I'd meet her there."
"But I've only just got in."
"I won't be long. When I get back, we'll have the evening together."
Leaving him standing in the kitchen like a lost sheep, I slipped out of the front door and walked down the street. I knew he'd follow me and I quickened my pace, the evening air cooling my vaginal lips, my love lips. My nipples still swollen, caressed by my silk blouse as my breasts bobbed up and down, I felt an urgent desire for orgasm welling in my womb. But I had more important things to do. I wished I was meeting Lisa.
The game was silly, futile, but Mat was becoming more suspicious about my mysterious lover and probably thought I was going to meet him. There was a wood at the far side of the recreation ground and I decided to slip into the trees and hide.
As I hurried across the street and walked across the grass towards the woods, I turned my head. Mat was some distance behind. He'd be thinking about men, male lovers, clandestine meetings, illicit sex - adultery. My stomach somersaulted as I followed a small path into the woods. I felt excited, elated.
Squatting behind a thick clump of bushes, my drenched labia ballooning between the backs of my thighs, I silently waited. What I was going to do, I had no idea. Mat would look for me and eventually give up and go home. Then what?
Twigs cracking underfoot, leaves rustling, I held my breath. I could just see him through the thick foliage, searching for me. What did he expect to find? Me on my back, my legs open, my secret lover fucking me? He'd question me when I got home. I'd lie to him, tell him that I'd met Lisa and we'd walked through the woods talking and enjoying the summer evening. He'd think that I'd sucked her clitoris to orgasm.
I watched him finally give up his search and leave the woods. Relieved, I emerged from my hide and followed the path, contemplating, thinking. Deeper I wandered into the thicket, the path becoming narrower, finally disappearing. Birds fluttering, singing, tree branches towering above me, closing in, I wanted to lose myself in the woods - in my thoughts. Emerging into a clearing, I lay on the downy grass and rested my aching body.
My skirt up over my stomach, my thighs wide, I couldn't help myself as I slipped three fingers into my drenched cunt and massaged my clitoris to a beautiful orgasm. The trees covering me, concealing my wickedness, I gasped in my carnal delight. Another climax gripped me, shook my very soul as I masturbated. My hands finally falling by my sides, I fell asleep, satisfied, for the time being. The trees watched over me.
Chapter Ten
Waking to find myself engulfed in darkness, canopied by the trees from the cool night air, I clambered to my feet and inched my way back to the path. I had no idea what the time was, how long I'd slept after an exhausting day of crude sex, but time didn't matter. The later it was the better, I mused, following the path as the moon peeped at me from behind a cloud. Mat would be worried, his mind conjuring lurid scenes of me with my lover, scenes of rampant sex.
All the lights were on in the house, the front door ajar, and I wondered whether he'd called the police as I slipped into the hall. Glancing at my watch as I passed the lounge, I heard him talking on the phone and stopped to listen.
"No, she's still not back," he was whining. My inner thighs were sticky, cunt milk sticky. "Well, you've phoned Lisa twice so we know that she didn't go to meet her. Den, are you sure someone came to see Jane this morning? Yes, I know you said that a man phoned while you were here, but did you actually see him arrive? No, I realize you can't spend all day looking out of the window. OK, all we can do is wait. Yes, I'll let you know. Bye."
Taking a deep breath, I ventured into the lounge, my mind brimming with ideas, plans, lies - my vagina brimming with my lubricious lust milk. Mat turned and looked at me, his brown eyes frowning, accusing, as I flopped onto the sofa in my innocence. I wanted to finger myself and come.
"Sorry I've been so long," I smiled sweetly.
"Long? Jane, do you know what time it is? Where the hell have you been?"
"Lisa wasn't there so I walked to her flat. We got talking and... Well, time flies when you're having fun."
"Den rang Lisa and..."
"Yes, he rang twice while I was there. He's a strange one, she reckoned that he was making sure she was at home. Goodness knows why."
"Why didn't she tell him that you were with her?"
"Why should she tell Den that I was there? It's none of his business."
"I've been out of my mind with worry. I wish you'd phoned and said where you were."
"I rang twice but it was engaged. Did you have any curry?"
"No, no I didn't. So, where did you go when you left here?"
"I went to the recreation ground looking for Lisa. I took a walk through the woods and finally decided to go to her flat. The woods are lovely in the evening."
"Yes, I'm sure they are. I've been really worried about you, Jane."
Worried about me? That was a laugh! Watching as I was chained, fucked by several men and thrashed... The only thing Mat was worried about was losing me, putting an end to his games. But I'd given the ball another shove, it was rolling fast. My lies to Den about a visitor, my lies about going to see Lisa... The ball really was gathering momentum.
As Mat left the room to make coffee, I couldn't help but grin. He was confused, lost in his confusion. He'd thought he'd had it all worked out so well. The magazine, the photographs, audio tape, video tape... His plans couldn't have gone much further off course. But it was all very sad, I reflected. I'd thought we'd been so happy together, but now? Now we were miles apart, lying, cheating, deceiving. Did I want to turn the clock back? I wondered. My sexuality woken, did I want to return to the monogamous days of lovemaking with Mat? Clocks only go forward.
My life upside down, my marriage in ruins, I couldn't capture my feelings - they ran away from me, like autumn leaves tossed on the wind. I had no concrete plans, no goal or aims. I couldn't live with uncertainty any more, I decided. I had to take control of my life.
"Coffee," Mat said uneasily, placing two steaming mugs on the table. I sneaked a look at the slight bulge in his trousers and imagined him fucking my bottom-hole. "Jane, this thing you say I have about Lisa... I'll be honest with you. She's a lesbian."
"Yes, I know that!" I giggled.
"You know?"
"Of course, it stands out a mile."
"Has she ever... Well, you know, made a pass at you?"
"No, of course not. She likes me very much, and I like her. We've
found a sort of affiliation together."
"What, sexual?"
"No, don't be silly! She already has a girlfriend, I've met her."
"I didn't know that."
"You wouldn't, would you? Mat, you said you'd be honest with me. Now I have to be honest with you."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not sure about us any more'. Day by day, it's getting harder to stay with you."
"Why, what's happened?"
"All sorts of things have happened. My latent feelings and desires have been woken."
"Latent feelings and desires?"
"I can't explain, I can't find the words. It occurred to me as I walked through the woods that we haven't made love for a while."
"Yes, but..."
"It takes a lot for me to say this - I don't miss it. I thought I'd found eternal love with you, I'd thought we were as one."
"We are, Jane. I don't understand what's happened. Is it Lisa?"
"No, of course it's not Lisa! You won't understand in a million years because I don't understand it myself - I can't explain it. I've changed, things have happened that have changed me."
"Are you leaving me, is that what you're trying to say?"
"Let's not be hasty, let's give it time, Mat."
Pouring himself a larger than usual scotch, he was obviously now in two minds about his games, regretting all he'd done, all he'd put me through. It was only a guess, but I reckoned that he'd now tell Den to leave me alone, to put an end to the blackmail, the sordid sex sessions. His game had backfired on him and I was emerging as the winner. Was there really a winner?
"I don't understand this," he sighed, gulping down his drink. "Things have been great between us, and now you're talking about splitting up."
"Not splitting up, just giving it time. Look, I'm going up to bed, let's sleep on it and see how we feel in the morning."
"I know how I feel - I love you, Jane."
"Yes, I know. Just give me time, Mat. I need time to think."
Pausing halfway up the stairs for Mat's predictable call to his partner in perversity, I felt a deep sadness in my heart. I hadn't wanted this but Mat had driven me to it, exorcised my love for him. I knew he'd do his best to hang on to me as I heard him whinging on the phone. He'd be sweet and kind from now on - but it was too late.