“We have a washerwoman,” Charmain said. “I don’t know how to wash things.”
“I’ll show you how,” Peter said. “Stop hiding behind your ignorance.”
Angrily wondering how it was that Peter always managed to set her to work, Charmain shortly found herself pumping hard at the pump in the yard, filling buckets with water for Peter to carry to the wash house and empty into the great copper boiler. After about the tenth bucketful, Peter came back, saying, “We need to light the fire under the copper now, but I can’t find any fuel. Where do you think he keeps it?”
Charmain wiped sweaty hair back from her face with an exhausted hand. “It must work like the kitchen fire,” she said. “I’ll go and see.” She led the way to the shed, thinking, And if this doesn’t work, we can stop trying. Good. “We need just one thing that will burn,” she told Peter.
He looked blankly round. Inside the shed there was nothing but a stack of wooden tubs and a box of soapflakes. Charmain eyed the place at the bottom of the boiler. It was black with old fires. She eyed the tubs. Too big. She eyed the soapflakes and decided not to risk another storm of bubbles. She went outside and plucked a twig from the unhealthy tree. Shoving this into the blackened fireplace, she slapped the side of the boiler and said, “Fire!” And had to leap quickly backward as flames thundered into being underneath. “There,” she said to Peter.
“Good,” he said. “Back to the pump. We need the copper full now.”
“Why?” said Charmain.
“Because there’s thirty sacks of washing, of course,” Peter said. “We’ll need to run hot water into some of these tubs to soak the silks and do the woolens in. And then we’ll need water for rinsing. Buckets and buckets more.”
“I don’t believe this!” Charmain muttered to Waif, who was pottering about watching. She sighed and went back to pumping.
Meanwhile, Peter fetched out a kitchen chair and put it in the shed. Then, to Charmain’s indignation, he set out the tubs in a row and began pouring bucketfuls of her hard-worked-for cold water into them. “I thought those were for the copper!” she protested.
Peter climbed on the chair and began hurling handfuls of soapflakes into the top of the boiler. It was now steaming and making simmering noises. “Stop arguing and keep pumping,” he said. “It’s nearly hot enough for the whites now. Four more buckets should do it, and then you can start putting shirts and things in.”
He climbed off the chair and went away into the house. When he came back, he was lugging two of the laundry bags, which he left propped against the shed while he went back for more. Charmain pumped, and panted, and glowered, and climbed on the chair to pour her four full buckets into the soapy clouds of steam rising from the copper. Then, glad to be doing something else, she untied the strings that held the first laundry bag closed. There were socks inside, and a red wizardly robe, two pairs of trousers, and shirts and underclothes below that, all smelling of mildew from Peter’s bathroom flood. Oddly enough, when Charmain untied the second bag, there were the same, identical things inside it.
“Wizard’s washing was bound to be peculiar,” Charmain said. She took armfuls of the washing, climbed on the chair, and heaved the clothes into the copper.
“No, no, no! Stop!” Peter shouted, just as Charmain had emptied the second bagful in. He came rushing across the grass, towing eight more bags all tied together.
“But you said to do it!” Charmain protested.
“Not before we’ve sorted it out, you fool!” Peter said. “You only boil the white things!”
“I didn’t know,” Charmain said sullenly.
She spent the rest of the morning sorting laundry into heaps on the grass, while Peter hurled shirts in to boil and ran off soapy water into tubs to soak robes and socks and twenty pairs of wizardly trousers in.
At length he said, “I think the shirts have boiled enough,” and pulled forward a swilling tub of cold water. “You put the fire out while I run the hot water off.”
Charmain had not the least idea how you put a magical fire out. Experimentally, she slapped the side of the copper. It burned her hand. She said, “Ow! Fire, go out!” in a sort of scream. And the fire obediently flickered down and disappeared. She sucked her fingers and watched Peter open the tap at the bottom of the copper and send steaming pink suds gushing away down the drain. Charmain peered through the steam as the tap ran.
“I didn’t know the soap was pink,” she said.
“It wasn’t,” Peter said. “Oh, my heavens! Look what you’ve done now!” He leaped up on the chair and began heaving out steaming shirts with the forked stick meant for the purpose. Every one of them, as it splashed into the cold water, turned out to be bright cherry pink. After the shirts, he forked out fifteen tiny shrunken socks, all of which would have been too small for Morgan, and a baby-sized pair of wizardly trousers. Finally, he fished up a very small red robe and held it out accusingly, dripping and steaming, for Charmain to see. “That’s what you did,” he said. “You never put red wool in with white shirts. The dye runs. And it’s turned out almost too small for a kobold. You are an utter fool!”
“How was I to know?” Charmain demanded passionately. “I’ve lived a sheltered life! Mother never lets me go near our wash house.”
“Because it’s not respectable. I know,” Peter said disgustedly. “I suppose you think I should be sorry for you! Well, I’m not. I’m not going to trust you anywhere near the mangle. The lord knows what you’d do with that! I’m going to try a bleaching spell while I do the mangling. You go and get the clothesline and that tub of clothes pegs from the pantry and hang everything up to dry. Can I trust you not to hang yourself or something while you do that?”
“I’m not a fool,” Charmain said haughtily.
An hour or so later, when Peter and Charmain, both weary and damp with steam, were soberly chewing yesterday’s leftover pasties in the kitchen, Charmain could not help thinking that her efforts with the clothesline were rather more successful than Peter’s with the mangle and the bleaching spell. The clothesline zigzagged ten times back and forth across the yard. But it stayed up. The shirts now flapping from the pegs on it were not white. Some were streaked with red. Some had curious pink curlicues all over them, and some others were a delicate blue. Most of the robes had white stripes on them somewhere. The socks and the trousers were all creamy white. Charmain thought it very tactful of her that she did not point out to Peter that the elf, who was ducking and dodging among the zigzags of washing, was staring at it in grave amazement.
“There’s an elf out there!” Peter exclaimed with his mouth full.
Charmain swallowed the rest of her pasty and opened the back door to see what the elf wanted.
The elf bent his tall fair head under the doorway and stalked into the middle of the kitchen, where he put the glass box he was carrying down on the table. Inside the box were three roundish white things about the size of tennis balls. Peter and Charmain stared at them, and then at the elf, who simply stood there without speaking.
“What are these?” Peter said at length.
The elf bowed, very slightly. “These,” he said, “are the three lubbock eggs that we have removed from the wizard William Norland. It was a very difficult operation, but we have performed it successfully.”
“Lubbock eggs!” Peter and Charmain exclaimed, almost together. Charmain felt her face draining white and very much wished she had not eaten that pasty. All Peter’s freckles showed up brown in his white face. Waif, who had been begging for lunch under the table, set up a frantic whining.
“Why…why have you brought the eggs here?” Charmain managed to say.
The elf said calmly, “Because we have found it impossible to destroy them. They defeat all our efforts, magical and physical. We have finally concluded that only a fire demon is capable of destroying them. Wizard Norland informs us that Miss Charming will, by now, have contact with a fire demon.”
“Wizard Norland’s alive? He’s talking to you?�
� Peter said eagerly.
“Indeed,” said the elf. “He is recovering well and should be ready to return here in three or four days at the most.”
“Oh, I’m so glad!” Charmain said. “So it was lubbock eggs making him ill?”
“That is so,” the elf agreed. “It seems that the wizard encountered a lubbock some months ago while walking in a mountain meadow. The fact that he is a wizard has caused the eggs to absorb his magic and become nearly impossible to destroy. You are warned not to touch the eggs or attempt to open this box that they are in. They are extremely dangerous. You are advised to obtain the services of the fire demon as soon as possible.”
While Peter and Charmain gulped and stared at those three white eggs in their box, the elf gave another small bow and stalked away through the inner door. Peter pulled himself together and ran after him, shouting to know more. But he arrived in the living room to see the front door slamming shut. When he, followed by Charmain, followed by Waif, rushed out into the front garden, there was no sign of the elf at all. Charmain caught sight of Rollo, peering slyly round the stalks of a hydrangea, but the elf was gone completely.
She picked up Waif and planted her in Peter’s arms. “Peter,” she said, “keep Waif here. I’ll go and get Calcifer at once.” And she set off at a run down the garden path.
“Be quick!” Peter shouted after her. “Be very quick!”
Charmain did not need Peter to tell her that. She ran, followed by Waif’s despairing and squeaky howls, and ran, and went on running, until she had rounded the great cliff and could see the town ahead. There she had to drop to a hasty walk and clutch at the stitch in her side, but she kept on as fast as she could. The thought of those round white eggs sitting on the kitchen table was enough to make her break into a trot as soon as her breath came back. Suppose the eggs hatched before she had found Calcifer. Suppose Peter did something stupid, like trying to put a spell on them. Suppose—She tried to take her mind off all the other awful possibilities by panting to herself, “I am so stupid! I could have asked that elf what the Elfgift was! But I clean forgot. I should have remembered. I’m stupid!” But her heart was not really in it. All she could see in her mind was Peter mumbling spells over the glass box. It would be just like him to try.
It came on to pour with rain as she entered the town. Charmain was pleased. That should take Peter’s mind off the lubbock eggs. He would have to rush outside and bring the washing in before it got soaked again. Just so long as he hadn’t done something stupid before that!
She arrived at the Royal Mansion soaked through and almost out of breath entirely, where she clattered at the knocker and rang the bell even more frantically than she had when Twinkle was on the roof. It seemed an age before Sim opened the door.
“Oh, Sim,” she gasped. “I need to see Calcifer at once! Can you tell me where he is?”
“Certainly, miss,” Sim replied, not in the least put out by Charmain’s soaking hair and dripping clothes. “Sir Calcifer is presently in the Grand Lounge. Allow me to show you the way.”
He shut the door and shuffled off, and Charmain dripped her way after him, down the long damp hallway, past the stone staircase, to a grand doorway somewhere near the back of the Mansion, where Charmain had never been before.
“In here, miss,” he said, throwing the grand but shabby door open.
Charmain went in, to a roar of voices and a crowd of finely dressed people, who all seemed to be shouting at one another while they walked about eating cake off elegant little plates. The cake was the first thing she recognized. It stood grandly on a special table in the middle of the room. Although only half of it was there by now, it was definitely the same cake that her father’s cooks had been working on yesterday evening. It was like seeing an old friend among all these finely dressed strangers. The nearest man, who was dressed in midnight blue velvet and dark blue brocade, turned and stared haughtily at Charmain and then exchanged disgusted looks with the lady beside him. This lady was wearing—not exactly a ball dress, not at teatime! Charmain thought—silks and satins so sumptuous that she would have made Aunt Sempronia look shabby, had Aunt Sempronia been there. Aunt Sempronia was not there, but the Lord Mayor was, and so was his lady, and so were all the most important people in town.
“Sim,” asked the man in midnight blue, “just who is this wet little commoner?”
“Lady Charming,” Sim replied, “is the new assistant to His Majesty, Your Highness.” He turned to Charmain. “Allow me to present you to His Highness, Crown Prince Ludovic, my lady.” He stepped backward and shut himself outside the room.
Charmain felt that the floor would be doing her a favor if it opened under her soaking wet feet and dropped her into the cellars. She had clean forgotten the visit of Crown Prince Ludovic. Princess Hilda had obviously invited all the Best People of High Norland to meet the prince. And she, ordinary Charmain Baker, had gate-crashed the tea party.
“Pleased to meet you, Your Highness,” she tried to say. It came out as frightened whisper.
Prince Ludovic probably did not hear. He laughed and said, “Is Lady Charming some kind of nickname the King calls you, little girl?” He pointed with his cake fork at the lady in not-quite-evening-dress. “I call my assistant Lady Moneybags. She costs me a fortune, you see.”
Charmain opened her mouth to explain what her name really was, but the lady in not-quite-evening-dress got in first. “You’d no call to say that!” she said angrily. “You spiteful thing, you!”
Prince Ludovic laughed and turned away to talk to the colorless gentleman, who was approaching in a colorless gray silk outfit. Charmain would have tiptoed away at once to find Calcifer, except that, as the prince turned, the light from the big chandelier overhead caught him in side face. The eye she could see glowed deep purple.
Charmain stood like a cold statue of horror. Prince Ludovic was a lubbockin. For a moment she could not move, knowing she was showing her horror, knowing that people would see how horrified she was and wonder why. The colorless gentleman was already looking at her, with curiosity in his mild mauve eyes. Oh, heavens! He was a lubbockin too. That was what had worried her before, when she met him near the kitchens.
Fortunately, the Lord Mayor moved away from beside the cake table just then, to bow deeply to the King, and gave Charmain a glimpse of a rocking horse—no, there were many rocking horses, Charmain saw. It quite distracted her from her horror. For some reason, rocking horses were lined up all round the walls of the grand room. Twinkle was sitting on the one nearest to the large marble fireplace, staring at her earnestly. Charmain could tell he knew she had had a shock of some kind and wanted her to tell him what had caused it.
She began edging her way across to the fireplace. This gave her a sight of Morgan, sitting by the marble fender playing with a box of bricks. Sophie was standing over him. In spite of Sophie’s peacock blue dress and her air of being part of the tea party, Charmain had a moment when she saw Sophie as a very large lioness with its teeth bared, standing guard on its small lion cub.
“Oh, hallo, Charming,” Princess Hilda said, more or less in Charmain’s ear. “Would you like some cake, since you’re here?”
Charmain shot a regretful look at the cake and inhaled its luscious smell instead. “No thank you, ma’am,” she said. “I only came with a message for…er…Mrs. Pendragon, you see.” Where was Calcifer?
“Well, there she is, just over there,” Princess Hilda said, pointing. “I must say the children are behaving beautifully at the moment. Long may it last!”
She swished away to offer another finely dressed person some cake. For all its swishing, her dress was nothing like as fine as the others in the room. It was faded almost white in places and reminded Charmain rather of the laundry after Peter had worked his bleaching spell. Oh, please don’t let Peter try any spells on those lubbock eggs! Charmain prayed as she walked over to Sophie.
“Hallo,” Sophie said, smiling rather tensely. Beyond her, Twinkle was rocking on the rocking
horse, going creak-creak-creeak, quite irritatingly. The fat nursemaid was standing beside him going, “Master Twinkle, pray do get down from there. You’re making such a noise, Master Twinkle. Master Twinkle, I don’t want to have to tell you twice!” Over and over. This was probably even more irritating.
Sophie knelt down and passed Morgan a red brick. Morgan held the brick out toward Charmain. “Boo bick,” he told her.
Charmain knelt down too. “No, it isn’t blue,” she said. “Try again.”
Sophie murmured out of the side of her mouth, “Glad to see you. I don’t care for this prince at all, do you? Nor for that overdressed floozie with him.”
“Urple?” Morgan guessed, holding the brick out again.
“I don’t blame you,” Charmain whispered to Sophie. “No, it’s not purple, it’s red. But the prince is purple, or his eyes are. He’s a lubbockin.”
“A what?” Sophie said, puzzled.
“Dead?” asked Morgan, looking at his brick disbelievingly. Creak-creeak, went the rocking horse.
“Yes. Red,” said Charmain. “I can’t explain here. Tell me where Calcifer is—I’ll explain to him and he can tell you. I need Calcifer urgently.”
“Here I am,” Calcifer said. “What do you need me for?”
Charmain looked round. Calcifer was roosting among the flaming logs in the fireplace, mingling his blue flames with the orange ones from the logs and looking so peaceful that Charmain had quite failed to notice him until he spoke. “Oh, thank goodness!” she said. “Can you come with me at once to Wizard Norland’s house? We’ve got an emergency there that only a fire demon can deal with. Please!”
Chapter Thirteen
IN WHICH CALCIFER IS VERY ACTIVE
Calcifer’s orange eyes turned to Sophie. “Do you need me to keep guard here still?” he asked her. “Or can you manage with just the two of you?”
Sophie gazed worriedly out at the well-dressed, chattering crowd. “I don’t think anyone’s going to try anything just now,” she said. “But come back quickly. I have a horrible foreboding feeling. I don’t trust that mauve-eyed fellow an inch. Or that nasty prince either.”
House of Many Ways Page 16