“What?” Sophia asks.
“There was a Kate in the tour with Kev and Kuya. Kev said she is an author and the sister of the girl Kev had his eye on. He also said Kuya and this Kate were pretty tight during the trip.”
“No, can’t be!” Sophia says.
“Why, Sophie?”
“Look at her fiancé! I love Kuya, but look at the guy!”
“Yeah, maybe that’s why Kuya is drinking,” Portia says seriously.
“Oh...,” Sophia answers.
The three girls silently join Layne in the living room. Layne stands and takes out some more beer from the fridge in the kitchen.
“Join me?” he asks.
They do.
“Kuya...,” Portia starts to talk.
Layne looks at the bottle in his hand. “Tell me, up until when can a guy try winning a woman’s heart? I mean if she has a boyfriend, is she off limits? What if she’s engaged to be married? Definitely not when she’s married right? That is just wrong. But what if only engaged?”
“Kuya,” Portia says again.
“I mean I saw her fiancé, and he’s the type that could turn even me to liking men. I know I don’t have a freaking chance. But...”
“But?” Portia asks.
“But... shouldn’t I at least try?”
The girls are silent.
“Do you know what she feels for you, Kuya?” Gidgette asks softly.
Layne smiles. “I know we have some unresolved things between us. I know we can be good together. I know she can feel something more for me.”
“How?” Sophia asks.
“I just know, okay? I just screwed it up by not taking it further when I had the chance. And now, she’s engaged.” Layne breathes deeply, his shoulders slumped down, defeated.
“What do you plan to do, Kuya?” Portia asks.
“I plan... I need to try... and see whether she would be persuaded to leave Mr. Gorgeous and take a chance on me.” Layne smiles sadly.
“Wow. How will you do that?” Gidgette asks.
“You three are going to help me,” Layne says this with a hopeful smile.
“How?” Sophia asks.
“You’re all female! I’m sure you can give me suggestions that another female will appreciate, right?”
The three sisters look at each other, then they look at the desperation in their brother’s eyes
“Yeah, sure,” Portia says. “We’ll help you, Kuya.”
After a marathon discussion of what Layne can do to win Kate back, Layne remains in the living room staring at his last bottle of beer.
He feels a sharp rap at the back of his neck.
“Ouch ’Nay! That hurts!”
“Well, it better hurt! Didn’t I tell you not to be stupid?”
Layne hangs his head.
“Yes, you did,” Layne admits.
“And yet, you continued to be stupid,” Nina admonishes.
“Yes, ’Nay, I continued to be stupid.”
“And you’re drowning your stupidity in alcohol? Such a waste of money and brain cells!”
“I’m sorry, ’Nay.”
“This plan you have with your sisters, make sure you do this right. It is tricky because your girl is already committed. I am someone who is against anyone trying to steal someone from someone else,” Nina says seriously.
Layne looks at his mom.
“But she is not yet married, so maybe you can use that loophole. Nothing is final until the church blesses the union and the papers are signed,” Nina stops, then continues. “Come to think of it, even after, nothing is final... anything can be broken.”
“’Nay...”
“I’m sorry, this should not be about me. This is about you, choosing to follow your heart.”
Layne embraces his mom.
“Just promise me something.”
“Yes, ’Nay?”
“You won’t be stupid!” Nina says with another sharp rap at Layne’s neck.
Layne laughs and hugs his mom.
7
The Workshop
Dear Miss Kate,
We are a writing group and we would like to invite you to a secret writing group discussion on Friday, 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM. You would do us the greatest honor by being our resource person during this workshop.
As it is a secret group, we hope you would keep this confidential between us. You can share after the event, but not before. We promise you it would be worth your while.
Yours truly,
Secret Writers Group
There are instructions where Kate should go and at what time. The note is in an unmarked envelope and delivered to one of the places where authors like her informed readers to drop off any of their letters to. There was no question Kate knew she was going to attend this workshop. Just the mystery of it all intrigued her and she is always open to helping out new writers. She received a similar invitation a year ago that she regretted not attending, so this was an invitation she was not going to pass up.
On Friday, at 9:30 AM, a gray Honda CRV stops in front of Kate at the designated place. Kate feels a thrill of excitement, as the door at the driver’s side opens. There is a smile on her lips as she waits for the driver to reach her. She loves the anticipation, like she is in a mystery and adventure story!
“Hi, Ma’am Kate, I will be your driver for today. My name is Pito!”
Kate smiles wider at the young man standing in front of her, who looks eager and good looking. He has the door of the back open for her to step in.
She gets in, eager to meet the writers’ group.
She is disappointed to see the backseat is empty. She gets comfortable, but then notices a single red rose on the seat next to her. There is a note.
Dear Kate,
Good morning! I am sorry about the white lie. But I needed you to free up your day without feeling guilty about it.
I refuse to accept that we will never know. I want to know. Don’t you?
I promise, there will be no hanky-panky.
If you decide to not go, then leave the car right now. I’ll take it as a NO, and I’ll disappear from your life forever.
At least I know I tried.
Kate blinks and re-reads the note. It is obviously from Layne, no other. It is genius actually, because Layne knew if he invited her to this day out knowing she would potentially spend it with him, there was a big probability she would not have come. But she is here now, she has freed up her day.
“Ready, ma’am?” Pito asks.
Kate hesitates. Rob.
Kate closes her eyes. I need to know.
She opens her eyes and says, “Drive away, Pito!”
After a few minutes, Pito stops in front of a small eatery.
“We are here, ma’am,” Pito says. He then gets out and runs to open her door.
She steps out of the car and is confused as to where exactly they were supposed to be.
“Welcome to Sydney’s Carinderia!” Pito says with a flourish. He directs her to walk to the proprietress of the local hole-in-the-wall eatery, who is serving food to a few people having a late breakfast.
“Aling Sydney! This is Ma’am Kate!” Pito says.
Sydney, in her midfifties, smiles widely and reaches into a hidden area under the row of food displayed on her counter. She takes out a small gift bag and hands it to Kate.
Kate takes the bag and Sydney goes back to serving her customers. Kate doesn’t know what to do next. Pito taps her on her shoulder and motions her back to the car.
Once Kate is in the car, she opens the bag. Inside is a shot glass with a Sydney Opera House design. There is a note.
I like your eyes, the way you don’t care about how you look, and the way you look at your surroundings with wonder.
I like your sense of adventure.
Kate laughs.
Sydney’s Carinderia! Genius!
The next place Pito stops at is Vivian’s Coffee. It is a small food cart that serves all kinds of coffee for a fraction of the
amount of the more established coffee places.
Kate smiles. She gets out of the car and with Pito, she does the same drill. She meets Vivian, and she gets a bigger gift bag.
In the car, she opens the bag and takes out a miniature coffee press, definitely bought from Vietnam. She reads the note.
I like that even if you were afraid, you still crossed the street.
I looked for you the next day on the streets, in the hotel. I wanted to see you again.
Kate sighs.
The next place Pito stops at is a blank wall. Kate gets out and is confused, until it dawns on her.
A wall!
Pito hands her a brown envelope. Inside the car, she opens the envelope and looks at the tour group picture that was taken by their tour guide before everyone climbed the Great Wall. Kate didn’t know Layne bought a copy.
I like the feel of your hand in mine as we climbed up the wall. I like your intensity as you took pictures.
I like the feel of your skin against my skin.
I think I love you.
Kate blushes and her heart beats faster. She smiles.
The next stop is a bakery called Mom & Bay’s Pandesal.
Kate laughs. Mum-Bai!
The gift bag contains a bracelet—a partner of the one Layne gave to her.
No more coincidence. I took this trip to see you again. I lurk like a stalker, watching you in action during the writer’s conference. I am in awe of you.
It hurt to wake up without you beside me again.
I have fallen in love with you.
Kate closes her eyes and she can’t wipe the smile off her face. She feels butterflies in her stomach.
The next stop is a small bar called Isko’s Bar.
Kate laughs hysterically. SkyBar indeed! Pito joins her.
The gift bag from that place contains a keychain of a mini Petronas Towers.
I know this is my big chance, but I am scared. I have a problem with saying the phrase “I love you” to anyone outside of my family. I feel exposed and vulnerable. I am afraid. I am so sorry. I know I hurt you somehow with my silence.
The last stop is appropriately called The Orchard.
Pito parks the car and escorts Kate into a beautiful garden.
“Ma’am, just follow the path and you will get to your destination.”
“Thank you, Pito.”
“My pleasure, Ma’am Kate. See you later.”
Kate walks slowly down the path. After a while, she sees that at the end of the path there is a table set. And beside the table, Layne waits for her, a big smile on his face. As she walks slowly, she looks him over. He looks good. He wears a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the first three front buttons undone. The shirt hugs his chiseled chest, his broad shoulders, and his slim waist. He wears slim, dark denim pants that accentuate the muscles in his thighs.
“Hi,” Kate says, a smile spreads across her face too.
“Hi, Kate.”
Layne smiles and pulls out a chair for her. She sits and Layne sits across from her.
“Layne, I... this is a lot to digest,” Kate says.
“I know. And I’m sorry. I know it is unfair to spring this on you right now, but I just had to tell you. I just had to be honest.”
Layne looks at Kate with such earnestness in his eyes that Kate feels her heart melting.
“I don’t want to be one of those guys waiting until the last minute and barging into your wedding.”
Kate giggles, the sudden mental image assaulting her mind.
“Thank you. I had so many questions and unresolved feelings before. Thank you for sharing yours. I like the gifts and the notes.”
“Mostly souvenirs I picked up right after you left me. So I would remember.”
“So... what now?”
Layne looks into her eyes.
“I know I should sweep you off your feet, kiss you, and dazzle you with my charm, good looks, and rocking abs, so you have no choice but to NOT get married and choose me...”
Kate laughs. She is enjoying herself immensely. It occurs to her Layne has not laid a hand on her. She doesn’t know whether she is relieved or disappointed.
“But I do respect that you’re engaged to be married and if I were your fiancé, I would hate me if I did that. I just wanted to tell you everything. Lay it on the table. Just in case.”
Kate is silent.
“In case you’re wondering. In case you need to know. In case... in case it makes a difference.”
Kate looks at Layne tenderly. Then...
“Thank you. For this... for everything...”
They stare at each other, and for a moment Kate feels that Layne was going to go back on his word and go to her and kiss her and do the things he said he wouldn’t do.
The waiter arrives and starts serving them their dinner. The moment passes. Kate doesn’t know if she is disappointed or relieved.
They eat.
Then they talk.
“How’s your mom?” Kate asks.
“She’s fine,” Layne answers.
“I heard she had an emergency and that’s the reason you had to leave the tour early?”
Layne smiles. “She did have an episode, nothing serious.”
“So why did you leave?”
“I had to. I’m sure you would understand why,” Layne says sadly.
Kate nods sadly.
“Plus, I wanted to be the one to do the leaving that time. And you’re right, even if it was painful, it was way better than being the one left behind.”
Kate stares at Layne sadly, his face open with his regret and sadness. Kate feels a pang of sadness as well.
They eat a bit more in silence. Then, the conversation just flows.
Layne talks about his sisters: Portia’s dream of becoming a lawyer, fighting for the rights of the oppressed. Gidgette’s new boyfriend, Pito, who agreed to be Kate’s driver for the day. Sophia’s stories about Kate’s writing events and her own dreams of writing. He talks in more detail about his mom and his estranged dad.
“Your name is Jonathan?”
“Yes, that’s my legal name, but I am Layne.”
“Yes, you are Layne.”
Kate also talks. She tells him about her parents’ love story, how she hopes she would be able to say she had that. She talks about her writing and plans for the local writing community.
Layne and Kate have a laugh about Kev and Jane.
“You think they’ve done it already?” Kate asks.
“Knowing Kev, probably.”
“Ah, Jane...”
“Jane can take care of herself. She is your sister after all.”
Layne tells Kate he never connected Jane to Kate when he met Jane during the project at Jane’s company.
“Well, we are bit different physically, so you’re forgiven for not connecting the dots, so to speak,” Kate says.
“Yeah, but to think I could have—I could have contacted you earlier. I met Jane already almost a year ago. I could have paid more attention and gotten all the clues.”
Kate wonders what kind of cruel joke the universe was playing on them—having them meet all those times and yet withholding the chance to connect in Manila until recently, when it is too late.
They continue talking. There is just one topic they didn’t talk about. Kate doesn’t talk about Rob and Layne doesn’t ask.
Layne tells Kate about his passion for biking, how he saved up to assemble the best bike he could have, within his budget.
“I don’t know how to ride a bike,” Kate admits, embarrassed.
“Whoa—really?”
Kate nods.
“I’ll teach you.”
Kate smiles.
“I mean, I can teach you if you want.”
What do I want? I don’t want the day to end, that much I know.
“Take a walk with me, Kate.”
Kate nods. Dinner is over.
The orchard has a vast garden and walking path and pretty soo
n they are surrounded by greens and the colors of flowers.
“It’s beautiful here,” Kate whispers.
“It is. Kind of makes me wish I can just stop time and just be here forever with you.”
Kate smiles. “That would be nice.”
Then the green breaks and they are near the end of the path. Layne gently takes Kate’s hand in his and she turns to him. This is the first time they touch.
“Kate, I ...”
He sighs and smiles.
“I love you.”
Kate catches her breath in her throat.
“I know this comes way too late and I’ve chosen an unfortunate time to finally tell you, but I just want you to know. I love you. I’ve never loved any other woman as much as I love you.”
“Layne...”
“You don’t have to answer. I didn’t do all of this for you to answer me or make a choice now or anything. I just want you to know. And if that’s all there is for me to get out of this, then I’ll be happy.”
Kate nods.
Layne raises Kate’s hand to his lips and turns it over so he can place a long, soft kiss on her palm. His eyes close and he looks about ready to cry.
Kate caresses his cheek before Layne releases her hand.
“Be happy,” Layne says.
“Thank you for this. Be happy too,” Kate says.
Kate walks away slowly toward her ride. She turns around and waves to Layne.
He waves back.
Kate boards the CRV and is silent all the way back to her apartment. She is conscious of Pito’s observant glances at the rearview mirror.
He loves me!
Shit.
I love him too. But Rob...
Choosing Layne means losing Rob and I can’t bear that.
Choosing Rob means losing Layne. Ugh. That will hurt so much too. But I’ve had more practice not being with Layne than not being with Rob.
Oh fuck. What the hell am I going to do?
8
The Toast
Kate, Finally Page 13