by Diane Burke
Sophie kissed back, her pulse racing, her blood rushing through her body like white-water rapids, as if she were on the adventure of her life.
Just as abruptly as it had begun, the moment ended. Cain had pulled away. Seconds of silence beat between them. Sophie placed her fingertips against her lips, not knowing if she was sorry the kiss had ended or thankful one of the two of them had come to their senses.
“Sophie, I’m—”
She shot a look at him. “Don’t you dare insult me with an apology.”
He grinned that cocky, lopsided grin she’d learned to love and held his hands up defensively. “No, ma’am. Wouldn’t think of it.”
He turned sideways on the step, subtly putting some distance between them, and leaned his back against the porch post. “I’m not sorry I kissed you. I’ve been wondering what your lips were like from the first moment you walked into my office.” His brown eyes caught and held hers. “And they’re just as sweet as I imagined they’d be.”
An embarrassed flush rushed through her body and Sophie knew the telltale coloring of her cheeks and throat exposed her true feelings.
“But…” He lifted his coffee cup, took a sip, and then said, “It was selfish…and unprofessional…and I won’t let it happen again.”
She nodded, keeping her eyes turned away. “Sounds like a plan…a good one if you ask me.”
Cain chuckled but refrained from saying anything more.
Sophie couldn’t believe what she had done. She’d never openly flirted with anyone before. Sure, she’d been kissed a few times. But she’d never experienced a kiss so powerful, so full of emotion, so confusing.
After a few moments of companionable silence, Sophie decided that if she’d dared to be flirtatious, maybe she could be bold as well. She had nothing left to lose. She’d already made a fool of herself once today. And there were things she wanted to know. Questions that burned to be asked. She turned her attention to Cain. “I noticed you’re barely limping today.”
“Yeah.” He glanced at his leg. “I haven’t been sliding across asphalt for a few days or sitting with it cramped in a car for hours. When I treat it right, it returns the favor.”
Sophie smiled and then pressed on with what she really wanted to know. “How did you get hurt?”
“On the job.” His clipped words let her know he didn’t intend to discuss it further, which piqued her curiosity even more.
He knew everything there was to know about her and she knew so little about him. He was a professional and good at his job. She’d met his family, seen him interact with them and with other people in the town, knew he was kind, intelligent, compassionate. But that was surface stuff, the kinds of things he’d reveal to anyone. The deeper things—the secret, painful things that happen to us and make us the people we become—he managed to keep those things hidden.
She knew it was none of her business. She didn’t have a right to question him about his personal life. But she couldn’t help herself. She was drawn to this man on a deep, emotional level. She found herself experiencing feelings she had never had before for anyone. The more she knew the more she wanted to know. So she pushed.
“How long were you a cop?”
“Seven years.”
“Was your injury the reason you left the force?”
His lips pulled into a straight line. For a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to answer her. “I’m not the kind of guy to be happy spending the rest of my days sitting behind a desk.” He tapped his thigh. “And I couldn’t trust my leg enough to bank a partner’s life on it working when I needed it to.”
“So you left the force…”
He nodded but offered nothing more.
“You miss it, don’t you?”
He spun his legs down to the next step. His grim expression reminded her of carved granite, a shrug his only answer to her question.
Sophie figured, she’d gone this far, she might as well push a little harder. She inched over on the top step and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “Tell me about it.”
He glanced at her, mixed emotions struggling in his eyes. “Sophie, it was a long time ago. What does it matter now?”
“Please.”
Silence stretched so long between them she thought he wouldn’t respond. The sound of his voice startled her.
“I made a mistake…an almost fatal mistake…and it cost me.”
When he didn’t go any further, Sophie drew in a deep breath and asked, “What did you do?”
“I got personally involved with a woman on a case I was working. She betrayed me.”
The anguish in his voice froze her breath in her throat. She remained stock-still, her hand still resting on his shoulder, her expression as calm as she could keep it as she waited for him to continue.
Cain sighed deeply, all the air leaving his body, all the hesitation and the pain mingling with it.
“I worked undercover in narcotics. It was easy at first. I was young. Eager. Made it easy for me to fit in.”
A cloud crossed his expression.
“Sophie, none of this matters….” His voice trailed off.
“Yes, Cain, it does.”
His eyes met hers.
“It matters to me. It helps me understand who you were…and how you came to be who you are now.”
He drew a long gulp of coffee, set his mug down and stood up. He leaned against the porch railing and stared into the distance. His shoulders slumped. He sighed audibly. And then he started to speak…and didn’t stop until he’d told her everything.
“I made friends, best friends with one of the dealers. His name was Joey Petrone…and he had a sister named Lucy.”
Sophie’s breath hitched at the pain she saw reflected in his eyes but she didn’t dare interrupt.
He drew his hands down his face. “It’s a thin line when you’re undercover. You’ve got to build relationships, build trust with the dealers. You do that by building a reputation, a persona that bears no reflection on your real life.
“You’re acting. Living some made-up character’s life. Hanging with them. Bonding with the dealers. And as you move into their world you become more isolated from your own, from the force…from the person you really are, until it becomes hard—sometimes really hard—to remember where you drew that line between one world and the other.”
Sophie listened in fascination, intrigued by his words but afraid of where the story would lead.
“Joey, Lucy and I became the neighborhood threesome. Wherever you saw one of us, you saw the other two.” A bittersweet smile twisted his lips. “And I committed the ultimate sin…. I began to believe I was this other guy, lived in this other world, dared to fall in love with this other woman.”
His voice cracked.
The twilight wrapped around them and the sound of frogs and crickets filled the air.
“There wasn’t church in that other world…or prayer…or God. And at that time in my life, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was Lucy.”
Cain looked at Sophie. Evening shadows fell across his face. Still she could read his doubt, his reluctance to remember, but he continued just as he’d promised he would.
“Lucy was a drug addict who couldn’t keep clean. No matter how much I tried to help her. No matter how many times she promised she would.”
His voice became empty, hollow.
“I loved her. And when she discovered I was an undercover cop, she protected my cover…because she loved me back.”
Even in the dusk, Sophie could see a lone tear slide down his cheek.
“But she couldn’t let herself love me more than the dope. Couldn’t love me enough to pass up the opportunity for a quick fix when I wouldn’t supply her with any more money, and all she had left to trade was me. So she did.
“Joey got the dealers, normally in competition with each other but united in this, to band together to make an example out of me. They didn’t put a gun to my head and make it clean and easy. No. They tortured me.
They beat me. When they were done, there was barely a bone in my body that hadn’t been shattered.
“Then they dragged me in an alley and threw me like a piece of garbage beside a Dumpster.”
Cain’s voice was nothing more now than a harsh whisper.
“They dumped me in a filthy, rat-infested alley and left me to die…with Lucy.” He choked on a sob. “She was already dead from an overdose.”
Cain shrugged. “I don’t know how long I laid there, drifting in and out of consciousness, in and out of a sea of unbearable pain. A homeless man found us and told a cop.”
He looked at Sophie and his eyes looked desolate, empty. “There were dark days when I’d wished I hadn’t been found. When both the emotional and physical pain seemed more than I could bear.
“I needed several plastic surgery operations to return my face to a semblance of the person I used to be. Someone who didn’t make his father cringe and his mother weep. Not including the countless operations I endured to fix all the other broken bones. The casts. The physical therapy five days a week so I could learn to walk again.
“They fixed it all. It took over a year and a half but they fixed everything. Except for my heart…” He stared right at her. “Nobody seems to be able to fix my heart. The affair with Lucy almost cost me my life, and it did cost Lucy hers. It cost me my career. And it cost me my belief in human beings. I haven’t ever been able to trust anyone on that level since then.”
Cain faced her. “I hope I’ve answered all your questions, Sophie. Are you happy now?” His expression of raw pain and torment seized her heart. Without another word he strode to the car, got in and drove away.
She stared at the trail of dust he’d left in his wake, tears sliding down her cheeks. As painful as it had been for Cain to tell his story and Sophie to hear it, she wasn’t sorry she’d asked. She felt even closer to him now. They shared a common bond. She knew all about pain and broken trust.
She carried the empty mugs inside and locked the doors. All she could think about while she washed the few dishes in the sink was Cain. He shouldn’t be driving as upset as he was. He shouldn’t be alone after reliving those horrible memories. She wanted to throw her arms around him and hold him close. She wanted to cry with him, comfort him, be with him.
The phone rang.
Cain.
She grabbed it before the second ring. “Cain?”
“We ain’t waitin’ no longer. Give us back what’s ours or die.”
TWELVE
Sophie drove her car down the dirt path and toward the main road to town. Five days had passed since Cain had driven away on this same stretch of road and left on a business trip. Five days of crisp, clipped telephone calls from him, checking in, making sure she was safe, but keeping his distance. Five days of visits from Holly, who insisted on sleeping on Sophie’s sofa every night to appease Cain. Visits from Mrs. Garrison bringing banana bread or homemade soup. Five days since Sophie had been able to hear a phone ring without jumping out of her skin.
She didn’t know how to handle the threatening phone call she’d received. She wanted to tell Cain—but he was purposely keeping his distance and she didn’t want him to feel obligated to her in any way. She didn’t feel comfortable telling Holly or Mrs. Garrison. She was still trying to overcome her shyness and form a relationship with them. Telling them she’d received a telephone call threatening to kill her didn’t seem like the best way to do that. And, of course, she considered telling Sheriff Dalton—only about a thousand times a day. But it had been one telephone call. One. Nothing had come of it. None followed it. So, no, it didn’t feel right to tell the sheriff—not yet.
So five days had passed since Cain had left on his “business trip.” And no one knew when he’d return. Five days that passed so slowly she swore she could hear the seconds tick on the clock.
But, if she was being honest, not all the time had crawled by.
Sophie had wished she could have made the visits with Cain’s mother last longer. As they sat on the porch sharing a cup of tea, she found herself hanging on to her every word, eager to hear the stories Martha told her that brought her own mother to life. And she couldn’t forget the evenings with Holly, who was becoming her first true friend. She’d laughed so hard her stomach ached as Holly shared stories of some of her childhood antics.
Even joining Cain’s family for Sunday church service had been both a hurdle…and a joy. The family believed and practiced their belief. It made Sophie question what she really believed. Sometimes she thought God was only for people too weak to deal with life on their own. Other times a small voice inside whispered that if she would just open the door to her heart, even just a crack, she’d find the truth and the truth would be everything she’d ever hoped and more.
As much as Sophie wished the time spent with Cain’s family hadn’t flown by, in other ways time hadn’t passed fast enough. Her father was still missing. Cain was no closer to finding the truth. And now she jumped sky-high every time she heard a phone ring.
The car hit a pothole. The abrupt bouncing jarred the steering wheel in her hands and brought her mind to the task at hand and away from her constant thoughts of Cain. The top of her head hit the ceiling, which wouldn’t have happened if she’d remembered to lock her seat belt in place before she’d left. She rubbed her head and then slowed the vehicle and struggled with the strap until she heard the familiar click. Breathing a sigh of relief, she vowed to get her head out of the clouds and pay attention. Reaching up to adjust her rearview mirror, she noted a dark sedan about a hundred yards behind her.
Alarm slithered up her spine but she dismissed it. After all, this was the main highway. Of course, there’d be other vehicles on the road. But her cottage was far enough from town that she didn’t usually see anyone else coming or going until she’d driven closer to town.
She tried to pay attention to the road in front of her but her eyes kept darting to the mirror. The car behind her wasn’t doing anything threatening. The driver wasn’t speeding or driving too close. It hung back about a hundred yards and didn’t seem to be in any hurry at all.
Still…an ominous discomfort knotted her stomach and gooseflesh pimpled her arms.
Maybe she should have listened to Holly and ridden into town with her this morning. But Sophie had had errands to run, the grocery store topping the list, and she needed her own transportation.
Stop being so paranoid. So there’s another car on the road. So what?
Sophie flipped on the radio and tried to relax. A favorite song filled the air and she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. She would not let her overactive imagination get the better of her. She forced herself to keep her eyes on the road ahead.
One mile.
Three miles.
She couldn’t stand it another second. Her gaze flew to the mirror and she gasped. The car was right on her tail, ten, maybe twelve feet behind.
A black sedan. Just like the one that had tried to force Cain and her off the road.
Her pulse points throbbed and her heart pounded against her chest.
She squinted her eyes and stared hard at the mirrored reflection. Two men sat in the front seat. The one in the passenger seat seemed stocky, possibly bald. The driver definitely had a beard. These weren’t teenagers out for a joyride…not that anyone ever believed it had been teenagers before. Why was this happening? Who were these people and what did they want with her?
Sophie’s foot hit the accelerator and her car lurched forward. Only a few more minutes and she’d be approaching Main Street, which meant people, businesses and safety. She fumbled inside the pocket of her purse and pulled out her cell phone. Her thumb slid across the preprogrammed 911 button but she didn’t place the call. What would she tell the dispatcher? I’m driving down the highway toward town and a car is behind me. Yeah, right.
Her eyes darted to the mirror and her heart almost leapt from her chest. The black sedan hugged her bumper, no more than a foot
between them now. She had a clear view of the man behind the wheel. Black eyes glared back at her. Soulless eyes.
Keep your cool. You’re not stupid. You can handle this. You just need to calm down and think.
She took a deep breath and tried to gain control of her runaway emotions. She couldn’t help but think this would be a great time to offer up a quick prayer. But just as quickly as the thought entered her head, she dismissed it. Hadn’t she spent most of her childhood years praying for her father to remarry so she would have a mother? And through her teenage years hadn’t she begged God for a friend to end her loneliness? Then when her father disappeared hadn’t she begged, pleaded, bargained—anything and everything she could think of—to have her dad come back? But why had she bothered? God never answered her prayers.
Just ahead, Main Street stretched before her like a welcome runway for a troubled airliner. She took a deep breath and began to release the pressure on the accelerator. Her car slowed.
The car behind her slowed in tandem.
She had to be absolutely certain she was being followed. What if this was merely a man in a black car driving into town? She didn’t want to make a fool of herself. The sheriff already had strong doubts about her character. She slowed the car even more and turned down the first side street she reached.
The car stayed behind her.
She made a quick left.
When the black sedan followed, Sophie knew exactly what to do. Without hesitation she drove directly to Sheriff Dalton’s and pulled into a spot right beside a patrol car. The sedan continued past, made a left and disappeared.
Sophie sat in the car, her eyes glued to the street where the sedan had turned. When it was obvious it wasn’t going to make a reappearance, she let herself breathe. Her arms trembled and her pulse continued to race but gradually she began to calm down.
The license plate number! Why hadn’t she looked at it when the car had driven by? What was the matter with her?
She’d been scared to death, that’s what…but proud of herself, too. She’d kept her head and hadn’t panicked. Should she report the incident to the sheriff? What could she tell him? A black sedan followed her into town and then kept on going when she stopped. He’d think she was crazy…if he didn’t already.