“Does your agent know how you feel?”
Jai gave a short laugh. “Yeah, he knows.”
“Why don’t you just…run away? Though you’d have to pick some remote place where you wouldn’t be recognized. South Pole maybe or Glasgow.”
He chuckled. “Is that what you did? Run away for eighteen months?”
“See? Told you that you weren’t thick, man-who-can-read-between-the-lines.”
He stroked her hand with his thumb. “Did running away work?”
“To be honest, not really. It helped me see things more clearly, but the problems I ran from never went away. I should have sorted things out before I left.”
He didn’t miss the shadow that drifted over her face and was instantly filled with a desperate need to protect her. The thought of her being hurt, hurt him. What had she run from? An abusive boyfriend? Money troubles?
“When we get to London, come with me,” he whispered.
She slumped lower in the seat. “You don’t have—”
“I know what we both thought, what we said, but that’s not what I want.”
It wasn’t, but he was thick. How can I be saying this to her? Saul won’t let it happen. One word in her ear from him and I’ll lose her. But he was already thinking of ways to keep her.
“If it had been the start of a new ice age, I’d have felt the luckiest guy in the world to be marooned with you. My constant Summer.”
Her fingers tightened around his. He recognized the new look on her face as one of hope and his heart did a tumble turn.
“I think we’re good for one another,” he said quietly. “Good with each other. But I know it won’t be easy. I’m always off someplace on shoots. I have to be seen with the right people. My agent controls everything and he’d want to control you.” He’d want to bury you. “So I don’t want him to know about you until I’ve figured out a way to make it work.” And I have no idea how the fuck I can do that apart from hiding you in some isolated house and only seeing you once every couple of months.
Summer stared at him without blinking.
He took a deep breath. “Say something.”
“I think I might get arrested when I get to London.”
He gaped at her. “I’m fairly certain I didn’t want you to say that.”
She winced. “Maybe not arrested.”
“Thank god for that.”
“Actually, it might be worse than being arrested.”
“Summer, you’re scaring me now.”
“I don’t have a suitcase in the hold.” She lowered her voice. “I left it in a washroom at Bogota Airport because when I opened it to take out my sweater, my things had been disturbed. I found drugs in the lining of the case. When I ripped open the stitching of a toy dog I’d been given, there were drugs in there too.”
He stared at her without blinking. “If you’d been caught…oh fuck.”
“A long time in a not-very-nice prison.”
“But if you don’t have the drugs, why do you think you might be arrested at Heathrow?”
“I left the case in a washroom at Bogota Airport. I took off the identification but if the Colombian authorities trace the case to me, they’ll think I was a mule who lost her nerve. A phone call to London might get me arrested, though I’m more worried about the traffickers who think I’m carrying the drugs to another country for them. It’s possible I was only supposed to get it to Mexico or maybe the States, but it makes more sense that the final destination is London. Maybe they’re at the airport waiting for me, not knowing I left the case and the dog behind.”
Fuckity fuck. “And you weren’t going to tell me? If I hadn’t told you that I wanted us—you weren’t going to tell me?” He was pissed off and worried.
“We were walking away from one another. I didn’t see a reason to drag you into it. I still don’t. I shouldn’t have said anything. You can’t afford to get trawled up in my mess but if anything happens to me, you’ll know the truth.”
His stomach churned. “Oh fuck.”
“Even if no one else believes me.”
“Your family will believe you.”
She shrugged. “Some of them won’t.”
“Maybe the drug traffickers followed you in the airport and saw you leave the restroom without the suitcase. They have their drugs back so no problem.”
“Except I changed my clothes and wore my hat to cover my hair. I was scared they’d make me try to get the suitcase out.”
“Jesus, Summer. Who did it, do you know?”
“I spent last weekend at the parents of one of my university friends. His brother gave me the toy dog but had no opportunity to put the drugs in my luggage, though my friend did. So both of them, I guess. But then again, maybe neither.”
“Why didn’t you tell the police?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah. I can just imagine that. I’d be in a Bogota jail right now. Plus, I don’t know for certain who was responsible. What if my friend’s family had been threatened? I really hope someone was following me at the airport and found the drugs, otherwise they’re expecting me to arrive with them.”
“Fucking hell.”
“If someone is waiting at Heathrow, they might not believe I don’t have the case or the dog. If I’m with you, they might think I’d transferred them to you. I have to walk out alone.”
“Go to the British police and tell them.”
“I told you, they’ll think I’m a mule who chickened out. Or some attention seeker. If I’m not intercepted at Heathrow, I think I’m safe.”
“Think? I don’t like that word. You’re coming with me.”
She shook her head. “My family’s coming to meet me. I’ll be fine.” She took a deep breath. “It isn’t that I don’t want to go out with you. I just don’t want you to get trawled into my mess.”
She’d given him the opportunity to reverse out of the offer he shouldn’t have made in the first place. How could he have a girlfriend and still perform for Saul and Marta? Hard enough to cope with it anyway without the guilt of betraying someone he was supposed to care for.
It wouldn’t work with Summer. It couldn’t. But oh fuck, he wanted it to. She was too good for him. Bright and funny. But he’d pull her down and make her as miserable as him. She wanted to protect him and that touched something in his damaged heart. She was thinking of him and not herself. When had any other woman done that?
Summer was a risk. Was he strong enough to take it?
* * * * *
As the plane began its descent into Heathrow, Jai disappeared into the washroom with a change of clothes and his toiletry bag. Summer watched him through barely open eyes. How much easier this would have been if they’d boarded different planes in Philadelphia. She’d spent the last eight hours wanting to kiss him, hold him, climb on top of him and yet with every minute that passed, she’d felt they were drawing away from each other. All she could think about was never seeing him again and yet seeing him everywhere. How painful would that be?
She knew walking away from each other was the right thing to do. What they’d had was something special, but it wouldn’t work to take it any further. They had to finish it and do it with smiles on their faces, then she could look back and be happy for what she’d had.
Like that’s going to work, idiot.
When Jai emerged, she did a double take. He’d shaved, changed into a crisp white shirt, thin blue tie, black pants and jacket. He reached up to put his things back into his bag, leaving Summer at eye level with his groin. Oh god.
“There’s someone already sitting here,” she said. “Oh, it’s you.”
He dropped down next to her. “Fixx pants, Fixx shirt, Fixx tie, Fixx eau de cologne.”
“And under your pants?”
He smiled. “You’ll have to find out for yourself. You’re coming with me.”
Her heart lurched. “We already did that.”
He put his mouth to her ear. “I’ve a shoot to go to this afternoon. Come with me.
After that I’m free for a few days.”
A few days? Was that all he was offering? More of the same? A fun time with no commitment?
Had she any reason to expect more?
“We already decided it wasn’t a good idea.” It wasn’t butshe still wanted to say yes.
He opened his mouth and then closed it.
Persuade me. Don’t persuade me.
It would end in disaster and she couldn’t be hurt again, not if she wanted to keep her heart intact.
“It’s better this way,” she said. No, it’s not. Don’t believe me.
“You really mean it?”
“Different worlds.” Listen to what I’m really saying. “You said yourself your agent would disapprove. I’m not right for you. We had fun but…”
She stopped, not trusting herself to say more without her voice breaking. Why couldn’t she just tell him the truth, tell him she really liked him, wanted to see if what they had was worth pursuing?
He dropped his gaze. “Okay.”
That was the sound of her heart breaking.
“Good morning,” the captain said over the PA system. “I’ve had a weather update. Heavy snow is falling at Heathrow. No problem landing but you’ll need your coats.”
Summer stopped listening. She stared out the window. Altostratus thickening and lowering to form nimbostratus. Gray, featureless, miserable clouds even if they were laden with lovely snow.
* * * * *
As she walked with Jai toward immigration, three women asked for his autograph and many more than that took photos with their phones, no doubt making sure Summer wasn’t in the shot. He signed a couple of magazines and one woman’s shoulder. Jai was polite and answered a few of their questions but kept moving. He was different with them. Courteous, but reserved.
He was different with her too now. How many faces did he have? Summer was an open book and yet Jai hadn’t seen the truth. Ask me to come with you. Tell me you want to give us a chance.
But she’d pushed him away. What did she expect? Guys couldn’t read women’s minds. Maybe that was a good thing. She chewed the edge of her nail and forced her hand from her mouth. Customs officers had probably already marked her out as a nervous passenger who needed investigation. Her back tingled as if a hand were about to land on it.
After they were stopped yet again, he apologized to her. “Sorry about that.”
He didn’t sound like Jai anymore. He was pulling away from her with every step. It was supposed to be for the best so why did her stomach feel leaden?
He can be different, but you don’t need to be. Stop being such a grump.
They passed through passport control using the face-recognition gates. Summer emerged first, pulled her hat back on, and couldn’t help laughing when it took a few minutes and a move to a different machine before Jai joined her. He looked like he belonged on the cover of Vogue. He’d probably been on the cover of Vogue.
“It didn’t recognize you?” she asked. “Oh no, you broke the machine?” She opened her mouth and slapped her hands to her cheeks.
“Ha ha.” There was a glimmer of the Jai she knew in his smile.
As they walked through the baggage claim area, Jai checked his phone. Summer needed to change her SIM card before she could use hers again. Whatever he read made his jaw tense and he shoved his phone back in his pocket. When they reached the exit at the green nothing-to-declare channel, he stopped. Summer’s heart thumped in her chest.
“Well,” he said.
“Well.”
“Guess this is goodbye.”
She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug.
“It’s been fun,” she said. Please don’t make me have to say anything else.
“Summer…”
“Bye.” She let him go.
Not another word because the next, whether from her or him, would result in a flood of tears. Not another touch because that would have the same effect. Go, walk away, leave me now before I do something stupid.
“Bye,” he said and strode away.
She gulped back a sob and sank her teeth so hard into her cheeks, the coppery tang of blood seeped into her mouth. A moment later, she followed him through the green channel.
Nothing to declare apart from her stupidity.
As she emerged into the throng of people waiting for arriving passengers, she saw a group of photographers intercept Jai.
“Look this way, Jai.”
“Over here.”
“How were the Bahamas?”
“Jai!” a woman shrieked and threw herself into his arms.
Summer recognized her. Krista Mills. A micro-thin ex-singer from an uber-successful girl band who had the most fabulous hair. It flowed over her shoulders like liquid gold. If she tossed her head, every strand would undoubtedly fall perfectly back into place like it did in the TV ads. Krista wrapped her arms tightly around Jai and kicked her leg in the air to display an impossibly high-heeled red shoe. Her kiss on the side of his mouth left a smear of lipstick. When he laughed, Summer walked away.
She’d lied to Jai. No family to meet her, so she followed the signs for the rail link, wondering if he was watching. It was only when she stood in line to get a ticket that she remembered she was supposed to be checking to see if anyone was following. But she didn’t care. Even if they recognized her, which was doubtful with her hair covered up, they could see she had no suitcase.
The cold air outside the building made her suck in a breath. Jai’s sweater wasn’t much protection. Goose bumps raced up her legs to meet the ones flashing down her spine and she shivered. There was a train waiting and she hopped onboard and found a seat near a heater. The warm air blasting over her feet felt so good she groaned. Now all she had to do was stay awake for the fifteen-minute journey to Paddington Station and try not to think about Jai and Miss Kissy with the red stilettos.
Summer had mixed feelings about being back in the UK because what she’d told Jai about her problems was true. She’d only escaped them for a while. They were sitting here, waiting for her. When Sytex, the company she worked for, had asked if anyone was interested in a job exchange that would involve eighteen months away from the UK, she’d immediately offered to go. She didn’t even care what she’d have to do but as it turned out, the research had been interesting and potentially quite useful. Now she had a two-week vacation before she started work again. Two weeks to sort out the mess she’d left behind.
She changed on to the Tube at Paddington to get to London Bridge and caught a train to Greenwich. So far she’d stayed out of the snow but she’d have to get a taxi to her flat. Before she left the station, she took fifty pounds from the ATM, and bought coffee, a loaf of bread, a tin of baked beans, butter and a jar of strawberry jam from the shop next door. The snow was settling on the road. Once she was in her place, she didn’t want to go out again.
“Did you not hear the weather forecast?” the taxi driver asked, staring at her bare legs and open-toed trekking sandals.
“Nope, caught me out.”
Of course, if she’d arrived yesterday as planned, it wouldn’t have been snowing. But she and Jai wouldn’t—
Oh damn. How long before she stopped thinking about him?
Almost as though her brain knew something her eyes didn’t, Summer looked out the window of the cab and saw Jai’s image on the side of a bus shelter. He wore a dark suit, and was adjusting his tie to reveal an expensive watch. Her stomach lurched. Oh god, this is going to be hard.
She paid the driver and winced as she walked down the path through pristine snow to the front door of her apartment building. The agency she’d let it through had promised to clean and repaint if necessary after the tenant had left. They were supposed to put the heating on and leave her post on the kitchen counter. She really hoped they had.
The smell of paint was the first thing she noticed when she opened the door. She kicked it closed behind her and took two steps away, turned, locked it and engaged the chain. She walked through
into the room that served as living space and kitchen and put her groceries on the table next to the box of mail. The place was warm and everything looked more or less the same. But she was determined not to be the same person who had left.
Summer took her mobile from her backpack, along with a little pouch that held a number of SIM cards. She put the UK one back in place and called Piero. Bogota was six hours behind and he’d probably be asleep. Tough.
“Alo,” Piero said.
“Piero.” She waited.
“Are you back home again, Niña?”
“Yes. I missed the plane in Philadelphia because of snow.”
“Oh. Well, it’s good that you’re back now.”
“Why did you do it, Piero?”
“Do what?”
“I found what you put in my luggage, what Javier hid in the dog.”
There was a long pause and Summer imagined him sitting up in bed thinking. She guessed he’d go for denial.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Bingo.
“I left the case and the dog in Bogota Airport.”
He gasped. “Juepucha. Just give them what they want and they won’t hurt you.”
“Aren’t you listening? I don’t—”
He cut off the call and when she called him back, he didn’t answer. Shit.
* * * * *
Jai watched Summer walk away at Heathrow until he couldn’t see her anymore and black despair crept back into his heart. He only looked down at Krista when she tugged insistently on his arm.
“Smile, darling,” she said through gritted teeth.
Thank fuck he hadn’t emerged with Summer. If he hadn’t checked his phone and seen that message from Saul…
“What’s next for you?” a journalist called.
“I’m on my way to a shoot for Levata.” The premier men’s magazine.
“Going to take your kit off?” a woman shouted.
Jai ignored that. The answer was probably yes, but tastefully done of course.
“Happy to see him again, Krista?” a guy asked.
“What do you think?” She snuggled tighter against him.
“This way, sir,” said a man in a chauffeur’s cap.
Jai let the man take his bag and Krista tucked her arm in his and pulled him to follow the driver.
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