“Was she the reason why you couldn’t come to the rehearsal dinner? Why you missed the wedding ceremony? Because you were with her?”
“Yes.”
“You…fuck her and her husband and their friends.”
Oh god, oh god. “Yes.” He moved in front of the door as she stepped toward it. “I need to talk to you. Please don’t go. Summer, please.”
“There’s nothing to explain, is there, Jai?” Marta rose from the bed and sauntered naked to his side. He clenched his fists. He wanted to hit her, and he’d never hit a woman in his life.
“He might play with you for a while, he has his little dalliances, but he always comes back to us.” Marta put her hand on his shoulder and he shook it off.
“Shut the fuck up, Marta. Summer, please don’t go.”
“Oh do go,” Marta said with a laugh. “You can’t have him. He’s ours.”
Summer stumbled out of the room and he let her leave, watched until he couldn’t see her anymore before he turned on Marta.
“You fucking bitch.” He spat the words at her.
The door slammed downstairs and he started.
“Where did you meet her?”
“You agreed never to come here. This is my place.”
She put her hand on his crotch and squeezed. Jai jerked out of her grasp.
“Get dressed and get out.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ve come all this way. Saul’s gone to Birmingham and I’m lonely.”
“He’s gone away lots of times. Why are you here now?”
“Come to bed.”
Jai dragged his fingers through his hair. “Don’t you get it? I’m not going to fuck you. I want you gone. You’re a nasty, conniving old hag and I’ve had enough of you. Get out!”
Her expression hardened. “Don’t speak to me like that. We can ruin you.”
“You’ve already fucking ruined me. What more can you do?”
She pulled a slinky dress over her head and it slithered down her body. “You know how much more we can do. I understand there’s going to be a cabinet reshuffle shortly. Your older brother’s done such a good job he must think he’s in with a chance of a more senior position. If you don’t come around on your fucking knees with an apology, Evan will find out what his little brother does in his spare time and you’ll wish you’d never been born.”
“Get out of my house now before I throw you out on your scrawny arse.”
She grabbed her coat, walked out and Jai slammed the bedroom door after her.
He was shaking so hard, he had to sit down. It took a moment to control his fingers well enough to call Summer. Her phone went straight through to voice mail. He left several messages pleading with her to call him and then rested his elbows on his knees and put his hands over his eyes.
His anxiety levels were shooting off the scale. He couldn’t breathe properly, his head pounded and his chest grew tighter and tighter. He’d upset Summer, pissed off Marta and maybe wrecked his brother’s life. It would be better if he were dead. There would be no point in Saul revealing anything then. And if the vindictive bastard did, well Jai wouldn’t be around to witness the aftermath. He had enough tablets. He could do it.
Except—he’d seen how Summer had taken on all the guilt of ruining that wedding two years ago. She might currently hate him, but if he killed himself, would she feel responsible?
You arrogant fucker. You think she’ll care if you top yourself? Just do it and stop whining about it.
But he knew she’d care, he knew she’d feel guilty.
I want someone to help me.
Please.
He didn’t even know where she lived. Greenwich, but where in Greenwich? He could Google. He knew her name, what she did. Had she told him the name of the company she worked for? He couldn’t think. He stuffed his phone in his pocket and ran downstairs. When he saw her bags, he faltered and his heart lifted. Did she intend to come back?
Idiot. More likely she was so upset, she’d rushed out without thinking. But there was a chance she’d come back. He went into the kitchen and opened up Nev’s laptop.
When the front door slammed, he rushed into the hall knowing it wouldn’t be Summer because she had no key, but still hoping.
Brody dumped his coat over the newel post and walked toward him. “Christ, you look like shit.”
“Summer went upstairs before I saw your text.”
“Ouch. I left you a note too.”
“That ended up wet in the bin.”
“Damn.”
“Why the fuck did you let her in?”
“Because she said she was your agent’s wife. That got her through the door. Well, that and the fact that she was stunning and persuasive. Nev surreptitiously looked her up on Google and saw her picture with you and her husband. She said she needed the bathroom, but she went all the way up to your room, and when she didn’t reappear and we went to see where she was, we found her on your bed stark naked.”
Jai slammed the heels of his hands onto his forehead “Shit.”
“She tried to persuade us to get in bed with her. Both of us.”
Jai dropped his hands and his jaw fell open.
“She some sort of nympho? Nev was well up for it, but I shoved him out the room. I didn’t know what was going on with her but something was off. We went out. I figured she wasn’t going to rob us but I didn’t want to be anywhere near her in case she’s a psycho who tells her husband we came on to her or something worse. I know a praying mantis when I see one. I didn’t want Nev anywhere near her. He’s got no willpower. He went to see his sister and I went to the pub. I assumed you’d see the text and not come back. The note was in case you did and hadn’t looked at your phone. She must have chucked the note after we’d gone. What the hell was that all about? Have you been fucking your agent’s wife? Is that why you never bring women home?”
“It’s…complicated.”
“Jai!”
“Yeah, I have, okay? She’s a poisonous bitch and I want to stop but it’s not that easy. People might get hurt.”
Brody laughed. “Might? Sounds like Summer already has. You thought you could string two of them along?”
Jai’s phone rang and he snatched it up. Saul. He accepted the call and walked out of the room and up the stairs. “Yes,” Jai muttered.
“What the fuck are you playing at?” Saul snapped.
“I could ask you the same thing. You promised my home was out of bounds and yet I find your wife naked in my bed, propositioning my housemates and pouring venom into my girlfriend.” He flung himself into his chair. He wanted the sheets changed before he slept in here again.
Saul didn’t say anything.
“What if I’d come back with my mother?”
“But you didn’t, did you? You came back with some girl.”
Jai’s heart clenched. Not some girl. Say it! “She’s not some girl. She’s my girl. I’m not exclusively yours.”
“No, but you are primarily ours. We don’t come second, Jai. You know that.”
“I want my life back.”
“Well, you can’t have it back. Not yet. Fixx wants you in Paris on Tuesday. I’m sending the tickets and details over. There’s an awards ceremony on Tuesday night you need to be at. And don’t you ever speak to my wife like that again.” Saul ended the call.
I’m never going to speak to her at all.
Yeah? Well, I can guess how long that resolution will last.
I mean it.
He did but he hoped it wasn’t too late.
Chapter Sixteen
Summer found herself walking down the steps into the Tube with no memory of how she’d gotten there. The pain in her chest made it hard to breathe and it wasn’t because she was clutching her laptop too tightly. The woman in Jai’s bed had said she’d been his lover for ten years.
Ten fucking years.
Ten years of fucking not just Marta but apparently her husband Saul too, who liked to watch his wife and Jai. And Saul fucked Ja
i. And Jai fucked Saul. They had swinging parties, group sex. Marta said Jai was into kinky stuff; being tied up, beaten, golden showers, submissive role-play. She gagged and for a moment thought she was going to throw up.
None of that was the Jai she knew but now she could see she didn’t know Jai at all. He’d missed the rehearsal dinner because he’d been with that woman, nearly missed the wedding for the same reason. Jai told her he wasn’t involved with anyone and in one tiny part of her heart, Summer had struggled to believe that. Seemed she’d been right to doubt him.
She pulled her Oyster card out of her purse and registered she’d not brought her bags with her, just her laptop. Not only had she left her clothes but also the drugs. Shit. She couldn’t face going back. Not now. She’d deal with it another time. She switched on her phone, ignored the missed calls and texts from Jai and called Mags.
“Hi, Summer. What’s up? How did the wedding go?”
“You open for coffee?” Summer’s voice cracked.
“Yeah. Kevin’s watching football at his mate’s place. I’m all on my ownsome.”
“I’ll be about twenty minutes.”
“See ya.”
She switched off her phone. Oh god, I can’t do this. She didn’t want to go back to her place but how could she sit and make conversation without baring her soul? She called Mags again. “Sorry, Mags. Just had a call from Jai. I can’t make it.”
Her friend laughed. “You’re excused. I’d stand me up for him. See you another time.”
“Bye.”
She might not have wanted to go home, but it was too cold to wander around aimlessly. She caught the tube to Greenwich and popped into Tesco Extra to buy some food. Bread, margarine, chocolate, more chocolate and a bottle of ready-mixed piña colada.
Once she’d locked the door of her apartment, she let the tears fall. Her legs finally gave way and she slumped on the floor and curled up in a ball. She sobbed because she’d thought she had everything and she’d had nothing at all.
Ten years? A lot of marriages didn’t last as long as that. He’d been seventeen years old when it started. A kid. Maybe they’d made it hard for him to say no. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to. He must have been flattered to start with. Once he’d been drawn in, it would be hard to back out, particularly if Saul was the man who found him work. She tried to convince herself that Jai wanted her more than them, but he’d been late to the wedding because he’d been with them. He might have made a big effort to get there but the point was, he’d chosen Marta, and he knew how much it meant to her that he’d—
Oh fuck it. What’s the point?
Summer slumped on the couch with the chocolate and the piña colada, knowing pretty soon she’d either be asleep or throwing up.
* * * * *
Even with Brody’s help, Jai couldn’t find Summer’s address. They sat at the kitchen table trying to figure out a different approach but failing. Nev might be more useful but he wasn’t due back for a few hours. When Jai’s phone rang, he snatched at it, but it was his brother.
“Where the fuck are you?” Richard snapped.
Oh hell. He’d forgotten he’d promised to go to see his parents. “I’ve had to work, unexpectedly.”
“And you couldn’t call? They’re about to phone the hospitals. Get over here now, you stupid twat.”
Jai ended the call and pushed to his feet. “I have to visit my parents. If Summer comes back for her bags, tell her you don’t know where they are. I need to talk to her. I’m going to hide them.”
Brody raised his eyebrows. “Well, that’s mature.”
Jai grabbed the bags from the hall and carried them upstairs. He tucked them in a storage area in the eaves of the house, accessed through a small door next to a bookcase on the landing. Maybe it wasn’t mature, but it was currently his only way to ensure he met Summer again. He pulled a coat from his closet, detoured via his pill supply, and ran back downstairs. He slipped on his shoes and headed for the main road to look for a cab.
Twenty minutes later, he was knocking on the door of his parents’ place in Fulham, holding a bunch of flowers.
Richard opened the door. “You missed lunch. You’re not the golden boy today.” He nodded toward the flowers. “You might want to take the Tesco price tag off. Supermarket flowers? She won’t be impressed.”
“And fuck you too.”
Richard snorted. “What’s got up your arse?”
Jai hung his coat in the downstairs cloakroom and made his way to the orangery where his parents spent most of their time.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Jai plastered a smile on his face.
Evan’s two kids, Sophie and George, came running up and attached themselves to his legs. Jai tottered over to his mother, handed her the flowers and bent to kiss her. He nodded his greetings toward his father and Bella, Evan’s wife.
“Didn’t bring the kids with you, then?” Jai asked, ignoring the two slowly dragging his pants down.
“We’re here,” Sophie said.
“I don’t blame you for leaving them at home. They’re such little pests,” Jai said.
“No, we’re not,” George spluttered. “Mummy says you’re a pest.”
“George!” Bella blushed.
“Oh, there you are.” Jai pretended he’d just noticed them. “I wondered why it was so hard to walk.”
Once the kids had their fill of him and reverted back to playing with their toys, Jai slumped at the table, which held the remains of the meal he was supposed to have been there for.
“Sorry,” he said again. “Something came up and I had to keep my phone off. But I should have called.”
“You’ve missed Evan’s big news,” his father said.
“What’s that?”
“Keep it under your hat for the moment, but I’m going to be Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State in the Ministry of Justice,” Evan said.
“Oh wow. Congratulations.” Jai smiled at his brother. “Clapping all the criminals in jail?”
“Sort of. It’s about rehabilitation revolution, prisons and probation, youth justice and sentencing policy.”
“Sounds…awful,” Jai said.
Richard sniggered but Evan laughed. Jai sent a mental prayer that Summer didn’t get her own back by telling the police he had several pounds of cocaine in his house. She wouldn’t, would she? No.
Jai helped himself to some cold apple crumble, scooping up more of the crumble than the apple. “I thought you wanted Environment, Food and Rural Affairs.”
“I did, but baby steps. The more experience I get, the stronger I become.”
“Prime Minister by the time you’re forty,” his father said and turned to Jai. “What are you going to be doing when you’re forty?”
I could stop working now with the money I’ve saved. But Jai knew better than to say that. “I’ll probably be part of the rehabilitation revolution.” Whatever the fuck that is.
“Uncle Richard says Uncle Jai runs around with his willy out,” George said.
“George!” Bella snapped.
“It’s almost true,” Jai said and repressed his annoyance. “I don’t run fast though. It wobbles if you run fast.”
“Jai!” His mother tutted.
“Does it?” George asked and started to pull his pants down.
Bella hoicked them back up and Evan laughed.
“Shall I get out the Scrabble?” Richard asked.
Jai sagged. Time for more humiliation.
* * * * *
By the time Jai was able to leave, he’d lost three games of Scrabble in spectacular fashion. If he made a word of more than four letters it was a cause for celebration but he rarely managed to cover any significant squares with a tile worth more than one point. He had the kids on his side to give him an excuse for losing and George had spotted a word Jai had missed. Milk.
He’d toyed with the idea of speaking to Evan but it was neither the time nor the place. Though when would be? His brother was so happy, thrilled with his upcomi
ng promotion. When Jai opened his mouth to ask Evan to meet him for a coffee next week, his brother had spoken first to announce the rest of their news—Bella was pregnant again. Jai smiled, congratulated them and heard the sound of another nail being hammered into his coffin.
His pills seemed ineffective. He’d not had enough to drink and he could feel himself sliding down the rabbit hole. He needed Summer to rescue him. Even as he thought that, he knew he was wrong. He had to rescue himself.
How the fuck am I going to do that?
It was late afternoon by the time he stepped back into his house.
Nev called him. “Jai? In here. You owe me one.”
Jai didn’t take off his coat and shoes. He made straight for the kitchen.
Nev pushed a piece of paper across the table. “Summer’s address.”
29 Axis Place, Greenwich. “How did you manage that?”
“He hacked into Reading University’s alumni list,” Brody said. “It’s the place to study meteorology.”
“I do owe you one.” Jai grabbed the paper and stuffed it in his pocket.
“Are you going to take her bags?” Brody asked.
“No, I want her back here.”
Brody frowned. “It’s going to look pushy, mate, if you don’t take them with you.”
“Okay.” Brody was right. It gave him an excuse to see her, though he wasn’t sure how he’d explain how he knew where she lived. Apart from the truth. Didn’t it show his desperation?
He intended to drive over, hoping he’d be driving her back.
* * * * *
Summer felt as if she was going to die. Her stomach rolled and nausea billowed up like a cumulonimbus. She’d eaten all the chocolate and drunk the entire bottle of piña colada and pretty soon they’d be coming back up again. After that, she’d fall into a dreamless, practically comatose sleep, because that was what always happened after she’d thrown up. She looked forward to the sleep but not the throwing up.
Talking of which…she stumbled to her feet and lurched to the bathroom. In the middle of emptying her stomach, she heard the intercom buzzer but she wasn’t going to leave her safe place on the floor. She wasn’t expecting anyone and she’d be damned if she’d struggle to answer only to find out it was someone trying to sell her tea towels or floor cleaner.
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