Plop! Splash!
He dumped me in the river. I shot back up like a torpedo and ran for the beach. He grabbed me as I passed and tossed me in again. Now I was full blown pissed.
When I resurfaced I yelled, “What the hell, Jack?” I was wrapping my arms around my body in an effort to get warm.
“Oh, come on. It’s fun.”
“It doesn’t feel fun.”
“Seriously, get back in the water and you’ll find that it feels much warmer. Start swimming. You’ll warm up, I promise.”
“You know, I think I’ll make a run for it instead.” I stomped off toward the beach.
“You have no idea where you are, Addy. I blindfolded you remember?” He waited for my response. I stopped walking, but said nothing. I didn’t even turn around. I heard Jack sigh, “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll get you a towel. Besides, you’re shivering like a little wimp.”
Jack walked back to the Jeep for towels and a blanket. It crossed my mind that he could have simply wrapped his arms around me to warm me up. I may have been angry but I wasn’t numb and just the thought made me feel warm.
“What’s that?” asked Jack.
“What’s what?” I asked.
“The smile on your face. I guess you’re not mad at me anymore?” His face looked hopeful.
“Oh, I was just thinking of something…never mind…I’m sorry, Jack. I didn’t mean to get so mad, you just really surprised me. I think I may have overreacted but that water is ice cold!”
“Well, true. Even at this time of the year, there’s still snow melting in higher elevations and meeting up with the river. I’m sorry. I should have known you wouldn’t like river water.”
I stared at him in disbelief. Everything about Montana was throwing me into a tailspin. Snow in the mountains? Swimming in a river? Gardening? Liking a boy who farms?
“Please. Just try. You’ll get used to the water, I promise,” he insisted.
I let out a sigh of resignation. “You sure are persistent, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am. I don’t easily give up on anything.”
“Fine,” I relented. “I’ll try but I can’t promise you I’ll stay in, okay?”
“Okay. Come on. I’ll go in with you,” he offered his hand but I resisted. It was so tempting to walk hand-in-hand into the river with him, but I needed to stay strong. Just friends, Addy. Remember?
“Oh, I’m fine. I promise. I’ll go in, just give me a minute.” I replied, trying to muster the courage to willingly enter ice cold water.
He seemed disappointed I didn’t take his hand but smiled as he watched me walk ever so slowly back into the river. I hated that he was right. The more we swam and splashed water at each other, the better it was. The more we took brief opportunities to playfully brush up against each other, the warmer we were. Just when I was used to swimming in the river, Jack offered an alternative activity.
“Okay, now for The Cliffs,” he announced. His eyes sparkled as he was about to introduce something new to me. I tried hard not to let his excitement be infectious.
“I’m almost afraid to ask what “the cliffs” are, Jack,” I stated.
He chuckled at my words and turned away to enter a small trail. I followed him somewhat wishing he had extended his hand to me as before. This time I would have feigned fear of hiking and taken hold of him.
We followed the narrow trail along the river’s edge, through several trees, crunching our feet every so often on pine cones and the multitude of pine needles that had fallen. I was glad I had put my flip-flops back on. When I took a moment to look around, I had to admit this was a beautiful place. I knew Aspen changed into an amazing bouquet of yellow and orange in the fall and seeing them right now, in green, made me actually look forward to what a Montana fall would look like.
We were ascending nature’s staircase of river rocks, straight to the top of what I had to assume was The Cliffs because it seemed extremely high. When we reached the top, I sucked in a breath.
“Wow, Jack! Great view!” I was genuinely impressed with this place. We were able to see for miles in each direction of the river and it was beautiful. Breathtaking, really.
“Now, we jump!” Jack exclaimed.
“I know you think I’m really depressed and everything, but you don’t need to plan my suicide.”
“This isn’t suicide! It’s fun! Seriously, my family has been jumping from these cliffs for generations.”
“Jack, I’m not jumping. You convinced me to swim in the river, but you will not convince me to jump. I mean, seriously, how far down is that? One hundred feet?”
“You’re not very good with distances are you? It’s only fifteen, maybe twenty feet and the river is really, really deep. Come on. It’s fun!”
“Not happening.” My jaw was set.
“Your loss!” After his declaration, he turned and jumped off the side of the cliff.
He plunged through the dark water, going deep enough it felt like he may be in danger. It took forever for him to resurface. I found myself feeling panicked, wondering if his jump hadn’t gone well. A moment later, his head popped up, breaking through the water.
“Crap! You scared me, Jack!” I called down to him.
“Scared? Be careful, Addy, you wouldn’t want anyone to know you cared about a Montanan.” He was mocking me. Only Jack would have the ability to get me on an outing, manage to piss me off, insult me, make me freeze in the river, and make me still want to be around him every single day.
“I didn’t say I cared, I just didn’t want to have to try and drag your sorry ass back to shore or worse, perform CPR on you!” Although really, the idea of his lips on mine is a very exciting thought.
Jack was treading water effortlessly. “Addy, jump! Seriously—it’s a rush like none other!”
Even from where I stood, many feet above him, I could tell his eyes were dancing with excitement. My stomach equally danced but with anxious fear. I wasn’t sure if it was the idea of the jump, or from looking at Jack. I started to take a step, but quickly pulled my foot back and I shook my head in resistance. There is no way I can do this.
“Jack, you’re exhausting me.”
“Addy!” Jack yelled up to me. “Addy! Look at me.” I did. “Trust me,” he pleaded. “I wouldn’t ask you to jump if I thought you’d get hurt.” Trust me, the way his voice carried those words to me told me he was completely sincere—insane—but sincere. Something in my head, and heart, said “trust him.”
In one quick leap, I was off the edge and plunging into the icy Blue River and he was right, it was a rush like none other.
As I surfaced, I could hear Jack’s laughter echo through the valley.
“You should’ve seen your face! You looked completely freaked out!” He continued to laugh.
“Stop laughing! It couldn’t have been that funny!”
“Actually, it really was that funny.”
I didn’t care if I looked foolish as I exclaimed, “That WAS a rush!”
“Again?” he almost pleaded, hopeful that there was no way I would disappoint him.
“Sure!”
We followed the trail which was a short hike back to The Cliffs. I had ridden every ride at Magic Mountain, but jumping off these cliffs was a different kind of thrill. It took more effort than standing in the long lines at an amusement park, but it was worth it.
We spent the remainder of the day jumping and swimming with a brief break to eat the picnic Jack had packed. Our menu consisted of sodas, chips, turkey sandwiches, and fresh strawberries.
I was so hungry from all the activity that everything tasted absolutely amazing…four-star restaurant amazing. I was sure that tomorrow I would reflect on this meal and realize they had just been a basic sandwich, but I was so hungry it didn’t matter or maybe it was the company I was keeping that made everything amazing.
I folded my arms over my stomach, now self-conscious of my full belly. “Should we call it a day?” I asked.
“Do you wa
nt to call it a day?”
I had to think a minute. When I really thought about it, I didn’t want to leave. Despite our rough start, this was the first time I had really enjoyed myself since arriving in Blue River.
“Actually, no, not really, but I do want to rest. I way over-ate. Maybe I will just sunbathe a while,” I offered.
“Well, how about you take a rest. I want to go take a look at the hay anyway. Sound good?” asked Jack.
“Sounds good,” I agreed. I laughed when he left because the idea that anyone needed to go look at hay in a field was really quite funny to me.
I didn’t know how much time had passed when I heard a splash, letting me know Jack had returned and gone back into the river. I was basking in the sun, pretending the ripples of water I heard were actually ocean waves. I pictured myself body boarding on the waves and tried to remember the taste and smell of salt water. Ocean water was a lot different than the river water. I reflected on the dream I had before we moved here, the one that told me to prepare for this move. I now knew the actual scent of river water. I was deep into my daydream when I heard, “You look hot.”
“Excuse me?” I asked. I lifted my head and found Jack standing over me, dripping wet with tousled hair. I tried to shield my eyes from the glaring sun. At the same time I tried to discreetly examine his tan body. I could look at this boy all day. I was now very happy I had taken pictures of him to take back to California with me.
“I said, you look hot,” said Jack. He began to stammer. “I—I mean, like h—heat—heat—hot, like you’ve been in the sun too long, your skin…your skin is getting a little red, I mean, I’m sorry, I—” his tongue got tied with utter frustration.
As amusing as this moment was, I cut him off to spare him the embarrassment. “I know what you mean, Jack. It’s okay.” It would be fine if he thought I was the other kind of hot, too. In fact, I felt a bit deflated that he didn’t mean he thought I was attractive.
“We should head back. I need to help my dad with the irrigation.” He put his hand out to help me up from the ground. He forgot how strong he was and pulled too hard. I stumbled into his chest. His arms caught me around my waist and our bodies slammed into one another’s. The feel of his hands touching my bare skin was a better rush than the jump off The Cliffs. I looked up and found his face close to mine. Our lips were in very close proximity to one another’s. My pulse quickened as our eyes locked. I wondered if a kiss was coming my way and then I wondered if I would stop it. He leaned in ever so slightly, my heart raced but right then he seemed to change his mind and leaned back. I released the breath I had been holding while he released the hold on my waist. Our chests were rising and falling rapidly as we stepped back from one another.
“I’m so sorry, Addy. I didn’t mean to pull you up so hard.”
“Jack, please, you’ve got to stop being so apologetic. Seriously, it’s fine. Thanks for helping me up.”
“No problem.” We both blushed profusely knowing what could have happened and what probably would have been quite enjoyable. Not sharing a kiss was for the best. I had no intention of dating anyone, even though Jack was a huge temptation. He was a Blue River cowboy and simply put, he could never be the one for me.
********
Jack’s Journal
Sunday, August 1
I invited Addy to the Cooper beach today. She has no idea I actually cleared that with her parents first. It’s a matter of respect for me, I guess. I know there is a lot of work to do on their home but I hoped her parents would agree she needed a break and thankfully, they did.
On the ride to the beach she joked about how behind the times we are in Blue River. Guess she won’t be shocked to find out that I don’t own a computer or a cell phone. She might be shocked to find out that I keep this hand written journal in a brown leather-bound book. It may even creep her out. Ouch. Hope that doesn’t happen.
I wasn’t actually sure if she had the guts to get into the river so I gave her a little help. That didn’t work out very well. She was beyond mad. I was acting like I was thirteen—how ridiculous. But we recovered from our “fight.” She even managed to jump from the cliffs. I feel a little guilty—I mean—I truly wanted to spend time with her but her lean, tan body wearing a skimpy, turquoise bikini was a complete bonus to the day. As the day ended, my mouth got ahead of my brain and I ended up saying what was in my head. It was innocent enough but I looked like a fool. I said, “You look hot” and tried to explain what I meant was that she looked as though she had had too much sun. I mean, yeah, she’s hot in the most physical way, too, but her skin looked seriously red. I couldn’t let her burn. I had to sound stupid as I blundered through each word, attempting to explain myself.
I like her for her. She could have a third eye and one leg, and I would still want to be with her. She is actually pretty funny. I like her sense of humor and even though she is pretty sarcastic, I like it. She’s a challenge and who doesn’t like a challenge?
Before I made the “you look hot” blunder, I made a stupid comment that she would be the high school’s “fresh meat” but she laughed. Why did I say that? “Fresh Meat” sounds like something Mac or Zeek would say. Once again, I’d like to kick the crap out of myself!
Guess my nerves got the best of me right from the beginning. I hope she couldn’t tell. When she went back inside the house for a swimsuit, I tried to casually lean against my Jeep, but I misjudged how far I was standing from the jeep and nearly fell. I caught myself on the mirror, nearly yanking it out. I quickly recovered and assumed my casual position right before she came back out.
Despite each part of the day I would change if I could, I hope I scored some points with Addy today. I hope she finds me to be someone she wants to spend her time with. I know I want more than friendship but I also know she probably doesn’t. I’m not sure why I didn’t take the opportunity to kiss her today. That might have been a good way to find out if she is interested in me at all. I pulled her up from the blanket and she fell into my chest and I couldn’t help it. I held her. I held her real close actually. I think I was in shock that I was touching her bare skin. Our lips were close enough that I almost kissed her but I pulled back, which is really weird because I wanted to kiss her all day. I guess it wasn’t the right moment. The moment I leaned in, it popped into my mind that she would reject me and then I would feel like an idiot and then I would have to see her each day feeling foolish. I have to be more careful and not take those types of chances.
8. Texting
It felt as though it had been an eternity since I had been able to talk to my best friend, Sheridan, but I knew that was my over-dramatization of how time passed in Blue River. She would be mad that I hadn’t contacted her and would insist that I had forgotten her and replaced her with a Montana rodeo queen for a best friend—that would be her over-dramatization. The day I had waited for with baited breath was finally upon me. Blue River got its cell phone tower working which meant I finally had service. I could explain my lack of communication to Sheridan and more importantly, I wanted to share my new, sad, and pathetic life with her while slipping in the exciting details of Jackson Cooper.
I wanted to tell her about every moment involving Jack and how he made my heart skip not only one, but two or three beats. I wanted to tell her how one look from him made me feel flush and alive. I wanted to tell her how Jack and I had become in perfect proximity to share a kiss and yet we didn’t; temptation and resistance were a mixture of perfect torment.
I dialed each digit with trembling fingers. I couldn’t decide if I had truly missed Sheridan that much or if just thinking of Jack gave me jittery hands. After several rings, her mother answered and told me Sheridan was out shopping, or at a party, she didn’t remember which one. Typical. Her parents were the most relaxed parents I had ever known and luckily for Sheridan, they paid little attention to her. On most days, they didn’t know where she was or who she was with. I envied her freedom yet deep down I couldn’t help but wonder what trou
ble she was getting herself into. Sheridan could be very careless at times. I couldn’t remember a moment in my life where my parents didn’t interrogate me on every detail of my plans. I cursed myself for realizing that was probably really smart on their part.
As I was deciding my next move, I reflected on the day at the beach. More importantly, I reflected on how closely Jack had held me in his arms. I thought of how incredibly exciting that felt and how close our lips had been to one another’s. I felt his breath on my cheek. I shivered as I recalled the moment.
I had always been the type of girl who was particular about who I kissed in an intimate way, so I knew it had to mean something significant that I wished Jack had kissed me at The Beach. I didn’t mean a peck on the cheek or slight lip kiss. I wanted a passionate kiss from Jack.
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