Aaron declined our invitation to breakfast. His bowl of cereal had been sufficient. I suspected he didn’t exactly want to spend time with us adults. I smirked. I’m an adult; he isn’t. It was a pleasing thought. Then I laughed at myself. It’s silly I found that pleasing.
“Should we have invited Jack?” asked Dad.
“Could I please have some time alone with my daughter?” replied Mom. There was a hard edge in her voice.
As I watched Mom’s face contort, stopping short of fury, I replied, “No, Dad, that’s okay. I’ll see Jack later. It’s okay, really.”
My mom’s face relaxed. She even smiled a little that I took her side for once.
I couldn’t help but think of how difficult it must have been for her to hear her daughter had been assaulted—a scenario that easily could have led to rape. I honestly couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to be her. I felt sad and tried to see her view as a mother.
We made small talk on the ten-minute ride to Emmy’s Bakery and Café, which was right in the middle of town on Blue River’s main street. If I were to be honest, Emmy’s food was so good that it rivaled many of the bakeries I had been to in California. She wasn’t a trained chef but certainly cooked like one.
The restaurant had a country style motif. Plaid baby blue curtains adorned the windows. Every day, Emmy would put a fresh flower on each table. Emmy had worked out an arrangement with the new florist in town, Whitney, who exchanged flowers for baked goods to sell at a higher price in her flower shop. I still remembered being a little surprised that a Greenhouse and Floral shop had opened up by the high school.
We settled into a booth and looked over the menu. Once we placed our orders, Mom couldn’t resist asking the question I knew she’d been wondering all along.
“So, are we back together with Jackson?” she asked, trying to sound pleasant about a subject I knew irritated her.
“Well, we didn’t date Jack. I dated Jack.” I couldn’t resist a sharp response, but I caught myself and dialed back the sarcasm. I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know, Mom. We just plan to enjoy each other’s company for the summer.”
“I see,” Mom replied.
So much for last night’s bonding.
“Mom, do you like Jack?” I asked. It seemed unlikely she didn’t like him. I didn’t know anyone who didn’t like Jackson Cooper. Asking her a direct question seemed necessary.
“It’s not about whether I like Jack or not, Adelaide. I just think a man with goals would be better for you. Besides, you’re both still very young.”
“Excuse me?” I asked in disbelief. “You’re the one who moved me here. You didn’t think it was within the realm of possibility that I would meet someone I liked—maybe even loved? Jack is an amazing person, Mom, and by the way, he has goals.”
“I haven’t heard of any lately,” she retorted.
Dad cut in, “I think…” His interruption failed.
“Besides, I am nineteen. I’m an adult who can make her own decisions,” I snapped.
“Yes. You are an adult, but nineteen is still too young for a serious relationship. Besides, you have many goals to complete before marriage,” Mom declared.
“There are a lot of married students at college. A lot of couples make it work,” I insisted.
“Not everyone and it’s a hard life,” said Mom. She bit her lower lip and peered at the window. Her face became very sad. What’s that about?
I decided to dismiss her odd behavior. “Jack and I aren’t talking about marriage anyway, so just…relax, okay?”
Mom return from wherever her mind had gone. “I remember a certain young lady saying each and every day that she wouldn’t date anyone from a…what was it you called it? A one horse town? All you talked about was leaving…and that’s while you were dating Jack.”
“Whatever, Mom.” I picked up a menu and held it front of my face so I wouldn’t have to look at her. “Quit worrying about it. You can freak out in August if you see a ring on my finger.”
“Adelaide, you could try being serious for once,” Mom said sternly.
I pulled down the menu. “Actually, I’m being quite serious. Never know. I may talk Jack into moving to California and he’s a bit old fashioned. He won’t go if we’re not married.” I was telling the truth. There was no way Jack would live with me if we weren’t married.
“Addy!” Mom scolded.
Dad finally manage to interject, “Uh, ladies, you’re making a scene. Could you please save this conversation for another time? Let’s just enjoy breakfast.”
“Excuse me. I need to use the restroom.” Mom stomped away from the booth.
As my dad reached across the table and patted my left hand, “By the way, if my little princess has already found her prince, then she should just go for it.”
“Ah, thanks for the support, Dad, but I’m just trying to freak mom out. I seriously doubt Jack and I will even get back together or that I’ll talk him into moving. That’s the only way I see it working.”
I wanted to confess that Jack had actually thought about going to California, but something in the pit of my stomach said it would never happen. I wasn’t convinced he would ever leave Montana. I wanted nothing more than for us to get back together. I wanted Jack to move to California and for us to live happily ever after like any good princess should. Maybe I wasn’t a good enough princess to get my wish.
Dad now reached out for both of my hands. “Addy. Look at me. I’ll admit that young love doesn’t always work. The maturity isn’t quite there yet, and you really need to know a person first. Plus, when two people get married there are the difficulties of financial considerations. In all honesty, for some couples certain hurdles are just too high to leap over, but strong love—great love—can survive great challenges. I have a feeling Jack is your great love. Don’t let him be the one who got away. Trust me. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
I gulped. I wasn’t sure if we were still talking about me and Jack, but I knew I didn’t want the answer to that question. Sometimes parental secrets were best left secrets. It was like knowing your parents must still have sex, but hating that knowledge at the same time.
Before dad could finish his homily, Mom returned to the booth. Our food arrived in almost the same instant. We tried to discuss anything other than Jack, which led to a conversation about Aaron. Apparently he wasn’t doing very well. They exchanged a few barbed words, and the tension was strong between them as we discussed Aaron’s behavior so I threw myself on the sword, so to speak, and changed the subject. I started to talk about Harrison. They seemed relieved by my change in topic.
I never dreamed I would be discussing nearly getting raped over breakfast in a small town café with my parents. At the end of the day, I was glad I had that time with them and that we’d all been so open and honest with our feelings. It made me realize our trio was a healthier relationship than I originally thought, even during Mom’s moments of need to control. It did feel good to just let it all out there. I reflected on her earlier expression that seemed so sad and wondered what she was keeping in her head and heart. It isn’t healthy for her to keep a secret either.
********
I couldn’t breathe. It felt like a ton of bricks had just fallen on my chest. I spit a mouthful of dirt onto the ground. The pain was excruciating. I was being crushed as I clutched my chest. When I woke up, I was sweaty, full of anxiety, and screaming, “Jack!”
********
When Jack wasn’t working odd jobs or farming for his dad, he was spending time with me. We usually found our way to each other every evening, and each moment was a strong reminder of why I had fallen in love with him in the first place. It wasn’t how he would show up with a bouquet of flowers, or how he would surprise me with a picnic basket full of food, whisking me away to the mountains to serenade me by a waterfall. Those things were just icing on the cake. The simple truth was that Jack was a good and pure person. He was honest and real. His compassion for o
thers was immeasurable. He was selfless and when he loved, he loved with all his heart. I am so lucky to have his love.
One evening we were lying on a blanket at The Beach. Jack was gently running his fingers up and down my arm, almost lulling me into sleep. “Are you excited about the rodeo?” he asked.
“Actually, funny you should mention it. I have a request,” I replied. I was never excited about Jack riding any kind of animal in a rodeo, but this time was completely different because of my vivid dream.
“And what would that be?”
“Please don’t ride in this rodeo.”
“What?” Jack asked in disbelief.
“I have a really bad feeling you’re going to get hurt. I honestly feel sick to my stomach.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment. “You had a dream about me riding in the rodeo?”
“Yeah. I did. It was more like a nightmare. I’m sure it was you, I mean, who else could it be?”
“What happened in the dream? Did I die?”
“Well, no, but you do get hurt. I think you’re going to get kicked in the chest.”
“Hmm…that really is a possibility, but sorry, babe, I love the rodeo circuit.” He leaned over and kissed my forehead. “It’s in my blood. Besides, I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry.”
“I do worry.”
“Well, don’t,” he insisted.
He began to kiss my cheek, then my neck, then my lips. I tried to pull away and finish my argument, but he slipped his hand ever-so-slightly under the back of my shirt. Feeling his hand on my skin caused a shudder. He pulled my body on top of his and we were locked in a sensual kiss. He had an effective way of changing the subject. I completely forgot what I had been saying.
********
Two days later we were at the rodeo in Middleburg. I remembered I hadn’t finished my pleading and now it was entirely too late.
“I still don’t feel good about this,” I declared.
“About what?” asked Jack.
“About your riding on an animal that doesn’t want to be ridden!”
“Oh, I thought you meant wearing those flip-flips to a rodeo.”
“Very funny.”
“It is, actually and if you get a little poo between those pretty little toes of yours, you’ll need to find your own ride home,” he joked.
“Well, maybe he’ll take me home.” I pointed to a very handsome cowboy who was passing by.
Jack looked at his competition and replied, “Yeah. Okay, never mind. I don’t care if you stink to high heaven, you ride with me.”
“You cave too easy, love.”
“I like that.”
“Like what?”
“I like it when you call me LOVE.”
Jack was giving me a quick kiss when we heard a call overhead that he should prepare for his first event—bareback bronco riding. I felt queasy just thinking about it so watching it was going to be unbearable. We had just spent the last hour watching kids participate in something called “mutton bustin’”—an event where little kids wearing helmets ride a sheep, trying to hold on for at least eight seconds, just like a real cowboy. Now it was time for the big cowboys.
We had also seen the women’s events which included breakaway calf roping, tie-down calf roping, team roping, bareback riding, and bull riding not to mention barrel racing. I only admitted it to myself, but I was impressed with the skill of these women. I only admitted it to myself, mostly because I saw two familiar faces participating—Mandy and Karly—the two girls I had overheard talking about me on my first day of school at Blue River High School; the two girls I had once known only by the color of their hair—Red and Brown. Red turned out to be Amanda, otherwise known as Mandy, otherwise known as Jack’s pawn to make me jealous at homecoming. I smiled as I remembered how he had been desperate to make me jealous and invited her to the dance. Brown turned out to be a girl named Karly.
I also couldn’t help but think that one of these rodeo queens would be a better fit for Jack. If I wasn’t careful, this was exactly the type of woman I would lose him to. I feel queasy again.
“I’ll need to go to the restroom before I watch your suicide attempt,” I announced.
Jack laughed as if I had just cracked a funny joke but in reality, I was fairly serious. Riding an untamed, barebacked bronco seemed ridiculously dangerous to me.
“I’m glad you find my concern so amusing,” I replied.
He laughed again. I rolled my eyes and stomped away to the restroom.
I had just finished doing my business when I heard those two familiar voices—Mandy and Karly. This feels like déjà vu. I couldn’t resist eavesdropping.
Karly asked Mandy, “Did you see who’s here?”
“Oh, yeah. I could have gone all day without seeing Adelaide Davis. Actually. In fact, I could have gone all year without seeing her,” replied Mandy. There was a slight slur to her words.
Karly snickered in a way that made me think she sort of enjoyed Mandy’s pain. “I think it may be time for you to give up on Jack,” said Karly. Finally, the voice of reason!
“Oh, paaaleeez. There’s no way she’s staying. I heard she’s going back to California in August. When she’s gone, I’ll get Jack for myself,” proclaimed Mandy.
Now I’m pissed!
I flung the door open causing Karly to jump a foot in the air. Mandy just looked at me nearly expressionless. I recognized the look. It was the look Aaron often wore which meant she had two things I didn’t have—muscles and liquid courage and I was about to provoke her. I must be insane!
“So ladies…do we really need to keep meeting like this?” I asked as I calmly walked to the sink and washed my hands. I looked at each of them with a fake smile through the mirror.
“Let’s go.” Karly pulled at Mandy’s sleeve.
“Oh, hell, no. It’s time we had this out.” Mandy protested and pulled her arm away from Karly’s grasp.
“Have what out, Mandy? Is there really anything to have out?” I asked. I tried to keep my voice calm and confident, but inside I was shaking like a leaf.
Mandy stepped closer to me. “You’re no good for Jack.” She spat the words in my face. I swiped at the flecks of spit that had found my cheek.
I took a step closer to her. I hated to rat Jack out, but I had to. He wouldn’t care anyway.
“Did you ever piece it together that Jack only asked you to homecoming last year to make me jealous? Chew on that a while.” I glowered at her. I really hated the implication that I wasn’t good enough for Jack, especially coming from these two half-wits.
I couldn’t believe I was being so brazen. Hadn’t I just two hours ago watched Mandy chase down a calf with a rope, flip it on its back and tie it up in a neat little package? In all honesty, she scared the crap out of me, especially since I knew she’d been drinking. But I held my place, even after she closed the gap between us. We were so close I smelled Peppermint Schnapps on her breath.
“Whew!” I waved my hand in front of my nose. “Celebrate your event with a little liquor, did ya?” I made a disgusted face to emphasize my point.
“You—little—bitch. I don’t like you. I have never liked you and I swear to God, you’d better watch your step or I’ll swoop in and steal Jack away from you before you even say San Diego.” She swayed a bit as the alcohol hit her brain.
My blood started to boil. I tried to control my quivering voice. “No. You understand me. Jack loves me. You get anywhere near him, and I’ll tear every limb from your little, country bumpkin body. Got it?” My finger shook as I waved it in her face. I was scared to death these very fit cowgirls were about to kick my ass and I shook with fear and rage.
Thankfully, Karly was still the voice of reason.
“Let’s go,” suggested Karly. She lowered her voice as she moved near Mandy’s ear, but I could still hear her say, “I told you he loves her.” Once again, Karly tried to pull Mandy away by the sleeve of her plaid blouse and once again she resisted.
“Don’t bother, Karly. I’ll leave instead. Why don’t you go sleep it off, Candy.” I deliberately butchered her name and since her senses had slowed it took her a minute to realize it.
I was already leaving the restroom when I heard her exclaim, “Damn it! MANDY! My name is MANDY!”
I walked as fast as my flip-flops would allow, nearly tripping twice. I prayed I still had time to see Jack before his ride, but I had taken too long in dealing with Mandy and Karly. It was too late. He was already into position. My heart sunk. I still had the feeling of dread about Jack riding a bucking bronco. I found Jack’s mom and sat by her in the bleachers. Sharon tried to reassure me he would be fine.
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