My Blue River
Page 49
As the tears fell from my eyes, I swiped them away, clearing the view of a man who stared at me through misty eyes. I stood and walked toward him, making us only five feet apart.
My voice quivered but I was determined to finish what I started. “And this is a letter.”
I held up the pink envelope that contained the letter I had written to him after we broke up during winter break. The tears were now a full-on stream but I refused to stop. “I wrote you this letter after you said you had reached your breaking point. I told you in this letter I would move back to Montana after I graduated but I got your letter first and you told me you had let me go. Then I got scared and when I found you with Hannah in the hospital room, I convinced myself that she was better for you, but I was wrong. I’m what’s best for you and if I can’t get you back today the pain of losing you will haunt me for the rest of my life. I’ll never forgive myself for not mailing this letter.” I paused. The envelope flapped from my shaky grip.
Still, he said nothing so I continued.
“I know I don’t deserve you, Jack. I haven’t handled our relationship with any degree of the maturity and respect it deserved. But I’m here now and I’m here to tell you, I love you. I LOVE YOU, JACKSON COOPER! I love Blue River and I’ll stay here with you forever! I’ll get a Western Apparel frequent shopper punch card. I’ll work register four of Brody’s Supermarket. I want to have little Jacks and little Addies!” I screamed the words for all of Blue River to hear.
I let out an exhausted breath. Tonight, here at the river's edge, I had stripped my soul naked; tonight, there was nothing hidden from him. My intentions for being here were pure and clear but our future would now be determined by his next move.
He looked down and was shaking his head—I didn’t know if it meant “no” or if he was shaking his head in disbelief. Please end my misery and tell me my fate!
His silence was killing me so I continued to plead my case. “Jack, you were right about my not taking a chance and going over the edge with you. Your love falls over me like an endless flow from a waterfall and I want to do the same for you. I’m ready to take that ride of a life-time.”
His head snapped up but he still didn’t say anything. My heart sunk as it suddenly hit me that I had waited too long with an overdue message. I stood waiting for a response that wasn’t coming. After what seemed like an eternity, I walked back and dropped to the ground, placing each item back into the box, put the lid on it and stood to accept the rejection.
When I turned to face him, I saw he had walked closer to me. I wiped away my tears and held out the box. “Here, I want to give this to you. I can’t keep it anymore.” My last words were swallowed by a sob but I vowed not to cry; there was nothing left in me. Today, I had cried enough tears to make my own Blue River.
I continued to hold out the box while taking two steps forward. I bit my bottom lip in an effort to keep away my trembles. I would try to leave with a tiny bit of dignity. I had come here with one goal in mind—to win back Jack’s love. I tried but failed. It's time for me to leave.
He looked up and stared intently into my eyes. He looked backed down and quickly swiped a tear from his cheek, which further broke my heart.
When he looked back up, he said, “Fine. I’ll take the box, but only if you take something from me.”
“What would that be, Jack?” My entire body trembled.
He closed the gap between us, held my face in his hands and whispered, “My last name.”
About the Author
Leslie (Jackson) Trammell was born and raised in Montana. She graduated from the University of Nevada Las Vegas with a Bachelor’s degree in psychology and is currently pursuing her Master’s degree in Clinical Professional Counseling from Grand Canyon University. She loves to cook—hates to clean. When she’s not studying or running carpools, she loves spending time with her family swimming, playing games, camping, playing on the beaches of California, and having fun at Disneyland. She is currently living in Las Vegas, Nevada with her husband, Lane, of over 21 years, their three daughters, (Hannah, Emily, and Abby) their cat named, Kitty, and their dog named Zoey. This is her first novel.
Stay tuned for a sequel.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Many thanks to my early readers who offered helpful input, ideas, editing, constructive criticism, and massive amounts of support (in no particular order): Whitney Bird, Hannah Trammell, Lara Henry, Carmen Kennedy, Sara Shropshire, Kelly Lawrence, Kira Lawrence, Terri Thompson, Kyanne Phelps, Adaire Baltzer, Carol Monson, Tricia Silva, Gina Alder, Laurie Henthorne, Dustin Mortimer, Brittany McCann, Kristen Monson, Mandy Hubbell, Loralie Rogers Schroedel, Kathy Fields, Mitch Higgins, Camryn Simper, Emily Trammell, and Kari Rowen.
Table of Contents
PROLOGUE
1. Unforgivable
2. Northbound
3. Encounters
4. Just Friends
5. Barnyard Animals
6. Daydreamer
7. The Beach
8. Texting
9. Oysters
10. Gazing
11. Summer Blowout
12. First Impressions
13. Wheels
14. Regret
15. I Love You
16. Homecoming Games
17. Birthday Wishes
18. The Falls
19. Cold as Ice
20. Everything New
21. Change in Plans
22. Spring Fever
23. Royalty
24. Pomp and Circumstance
25. Full Circle
26. Confessions
27. College Daze
28. Bleak
29. Introductions
30. Unpredictable
31. Pain, Pain, and More Pain
32. The Bridge
33. Sacrifice
34. Witness
35. Breaking Point
36. Letters
37. The Wedding
38. Premonition
39. Re-Birth
40. Prayers
41. The Box