by Pamela Ann
His words were cruel, as were mine, however this was getting to be too much. It was as if he had pushed me into a cold, freezing lake and left me to drown.
“I would kill your whore and your bastard baby. Then I would kill you before taking my own life.” I was shaking before I dropped on the couch, feeling helpless.
“You want a divorce, Sienna?”
No. Oh, God no… I wouldn’t… I’d die without you…
“If this is what marriage to you is like, then yes, I want one.”
“I’ll give you your divorce in exchange for a baby,” he said without emotion.
And then I’d be out of his life forever? What about the baby? What about me? How could he say these things to me? He vowed to love me forever…
“Is that the only way you’d free me?” I wondered out loud, loneliness setting me adrift.
“Yes.”
Was this still my husband? I knew I had said some callous words, and the old Blake used to be cruel. Even then, it was obvious he was still in love with me. But this man I was speaking to, was another man entirely. It was Blake, yet he was also a stranger to me.
“I’ll call the lawyers to prepare them for the divorce. Our pre-nuptial agreement has a lot of clauses. Nine months will be enough time for negotiation since you want a hefty amount of my billions. Best they get to it before you give birth.” Then he hung up, leaving me reckless and desolate.
What have I done? Why did I have to make that stupid phone call? Had I not pestered and goaded him to be angry with me, he would have come home, and eventually, we could’ve resolved things as we usually did. But things were said and done, and there was no way in hell I could undo the hurtful words I had slung at him. I regretted them greatly. However, I couldn’t help tearing into him to give him an idea of the shit-storm I was going through. I had been selfish, and in turn, my selfishness had cost me my marriage.
There was nothing else I could do. Even if I apologized, I doubted Blake would take pity on me. I had showed a side of me I didn’t know existed. So what did a brokenhearted woman do once she realized she was about to divorce the man of her dreams the moment she popped a baby? I cried myself out until there were no tears left.
I woke up some time around midnight with no sign of him anywhere. Reluctantly, I went in the shower to wash the stickiness of my tears off my face and body. B, but even there, my tears formed and spilled with no signs of stopping. Therefore, I stayed awhile, until my eyes stung from the constant tearing. Then I got out and wrapped myself in one of my silk robes that Blake used to love seeing on me.
Staring into the mirror, I took a hard look at myself, wondering what had happened to me to blow my fuse the way I had with Blake. I could beg, my mind tried to convince me, but at this point, there was no going back. I had made my bed, as they say.
My eyes dropped, as did the tears, before my eyes caught the sight of my gargantuan engagement ring.
I still remembered the first time I had caught sight of it, staring into the beauty of the diamond. The past caught up to me.
“Did that feel like a game to you?” I lowered my eyes and stared at his chest. “Damn you! That kiss felt more real than anything else in this world. You love me! That kiss just proved that you do. I love you, too, Sienna. I can’t live without you. Will you marry me?”
I gasped and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights as he got on a bended knee. He produced a ginormous rock. It was certainly more than fifteen carats. The ring was a princess-cut, canary diamond surrounded with smaller diamonds and had been designed in a halo pattern with diamonds surrounding the entire band; the eternity band.
“The color of the rock reminds me of the color of your eyes when they get caught with the sun, like liquid gold. I commissioned this ring to be made the day after I left for New York. That night, I knew you were it for me. I don’t want anyone else. I know everything’s been unfolding so quickly, but I wanted—needed—you to know how much you mean to me. I love you wholeheartedly. Will you please let me be the happiest man in all of England and say yes?”
I stared wide-eyed at the ring, back to his face and back to the ring again. Shocked didn’t even begin to cover my reaction.
“Blake… I’m sorry… I can’t.”
He abruptly stood up and grabbed my face with a fierce scowl. “What do you mean you can’t? How hard is it to say yes?”
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” I stammered through my tears.
“I see. I guess, I imagined that you felt the same way, but I suppose that’s all it was, all in my imagination.”
He heaved and turned to me with a stony face. “You’ll regret this because I’ve only ever loved you and when you see me happy with another woman, you’ll regret it even more. Your thoughts will be haunted by me; the one that got away. Goodbye, Sienna.” He stood there for a few seconds before sliding in the Aston Martin, gunning the engine and rapidly vanishing through the traffic.
He had been right, I was going to regret it, but at the same time, maybe he was just too intense for me. When I was dating Kyle before, it was never like this; contrasting Heaven and Hell, never in between. The fights were always tumultuous and the love was blindingly consuming. Maybe our love just wasn’t right. Maybe we weren’t supposed to stay together this long.
Could I live without Blake? Maybe, maybe not. All I knew was that I was a survivor, and I always managed to keep afloat, even if I had nothing to fight for, nothing worth living for.
I wasn’t sure why, but I caught myself taking off the engagement ring and then the wedding band. Automatedly, I placed them on the mirrored dresser while my insides recoiled at the mere sight of them.
Divorce. The word taunted me.
Strolling towards the bedroom, I tugged against the comforter before I heard a thud coming from downstairs. And right off the bat, my heart hammered against my ribcage, surging life through me again.
“Don’t go,” I murmured to myself, yet my feet had a mind of their own, not heeding the warning my mind was giving. My silk robe trailed beneath my feet as I strode along the hallways, towards the stairs. Stopping atop the stair landing, the foyer was empty, therefore I decided to descend the steps, and mid-way through it, he emerged from living room.
It felt like time stood still—suspended—as we stared into each other, realizing that we weren’t meant to be. Even still, my eyes devoured him. The mere sight of him almost brought me to my knees.
He seemed detach as he looked at me, as if I was something uninteresting. He was the first one who broke the eye contact, leaving me beyond disconcerted.
He is done with me. The old Blake could never get enough of me. This man did. He even looked irritated.
As I watched him like a hawk, he started to unhurriedly stride towards the stairs. He was avoiding eye contact as he started to take each step before passing me without any sort of greeting, without a word at all.
But something bright caught my eye.
“Son of a bitch!” I shrilled like an unhinged banshee before I yanked his arm back so he couldn’t walk another step before I went a step ahead of him to gain more eye leverage then slapped his emotionless face. “You have a lipstick mark on your cheek. How fucking dare you come home with that shit on you!”
He remained motionless, not even caring to meet my eyes, nor did he care to defend himself. He was merely detached. Empty.
“Look at me!” I yelled. “Fucking look at me,” I demanded again, but he never did bring up his face to meet mine. The racking pain made me feel dangerous. It was making me lose my mind. Nothing made sense to me. “I see. Okay. You’ve already done your part. Well, it’s time I did mine then,” I hissed at his non-responding face. “How would you feel if I let Kyle fuck me until kingdom come? Or better yet, how about your cousin Clive? I’m sure he could use a good workout.”
“Go shag whoever you want, but leave my family alone,” he grounded out but made no effort to look at me still, which only goaded me to do more damage.
Disgusted at the both of us, I tightened my robe as I decided to take flight, but this time, he was the one doing the arm yanking.
“I said leave Clive alone,” he gritted out the words before he lifted his eyes to reveal his stormy ones.
He made me breathless, even in this unfortunate time.
“Did you hear me, Sienna? Go waste yourself with someone else, but don’t you dare fuck any of my relatives.”
I wanted to spit at him. Maybe slap him again. Or maybe kick his dick because the chances of him sleeping with the woman who left a lipstick mark on his cheek were already a given. The bastard had cheated on me. He fucking cheated on me!
My blood boiled again as I pictured him plowing through some willing beautiful body.
“Let me go.”
His fingers dug into my skin, gripping it harder. “I need you to promise me that you won’t go after any of my family.”
Maybe the storm in his eyes—midnight, silver and gold amidst the black—made me nod, conceding to his request, but I wasn’t sure. Because, even though I was mesmerized, I thought my heart couldn’t take being this close to him much longer. Consequently, I’d do what must be done to get away from him as far as I could imagine.
“Say it,” he demanded harshly, nearing his face to mine.
The intensity of his eyes, the anger, the disgust on his face left me to shame as I dropped my eyes to his chest. And right there on his collar, another tinge of the same colored lipstick stained his impeccable white dress shirt. Dear God, I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand any of this any longer.
“I promise,” I made an audible whisper. “I won’t.”
I counted to bide my time until he released me from his grip, but after ten counts, he still had his hand on me, gripping me in a steel-like vice.
“How can I trust your word?”
His distrust was crushing, but I had to toughen up my resolve so I could run to my closet and get necessities before I checked myself into a hotel or go over to my best friend’s house in Hampstead.
Meeting his stormy eyes once more, I willed myself to be stronger for a little bit longer. I could collapse later, but at this instant, I needed strength. “Trust it… because you’ll find me in Kyle’s house.”
We fought with our eyes for a second before I felt him loosening his hold off my arm. Again, the old Blake would’ve lost his mind with jealousy, but this one was letting me go.
I had no words to describe the gutting turmoil my heart was processing at this sign. Blake Knightly had definitely left me before I even knew it.
“You won’t get your divorce until you give me a baby. My baby, so if you intended to fuck Matthews, best you wait until you’ve given birth to my child. You also need to dispose of your pills.”
He was being so mechanical. I hated him and yearned for him all at the same time.
“Is that all?”
“I’ll come to your bed in two weeks’ time and every night for a week. I hope that’ll be enough time. Hopefully, by this course, the first draft of our divorce will be ready.”
“What if by the end of that week I don’t conceive?”
“Then I won’t let you out of the bed until you are pregnant with my child.”
Who would have thought a week ago I’d be his breeding cow? Life was ironic. Just as I was about to move, he pulled me back again.
“When did you have your last menstrual cycle?”
Was he fucking kidding me? “The other day, it went on for five days, in case you’re wondering about that as well.” I was being snarky, but he was begging for it.
“So you’re not back on the pill yet then?” he inquired, as if the question was as simple as asking what the weather was.
I shook my head. I would get back on it supposedly the day after tomorrow. However, since he was planning on making me a brood mare before I could get my divorce, I had to throw all those tiny white pills away.
Something crossed his face as he looked at me in such a way that left me cold and unwanted. “Get to bed, naked. I’ll come for you tonight.”
The thought of him touching me made me a little desperate. “When, what time?”
“I need some time to myself before I fuck you,” he said in a matter-of-fact voice. There was something about it that made me a little crazy.
“You make it sound like you can’t get hard enough to fuck me, Blake.”
“Maybe I can’t.”
Aw, hell to the mother fucking no. Did he just…? He did, didn’t he? And since we were already here, why not just get on with it? Disrobing, I let it fall to my feet. I felt no shame in my nakedness because the usual hunger his eyes bore was absent.
“Do it. Let’s get this over with right here.” I brazenly reached out to touch his cock, and just as predicted, he wasn’t hard, but his half-mast state should suffice.
His cock had graced someone else’s body…
Taking charge, I unzipped him before letting his pants fall and freed his cock from his boxers. All the while, he stood motionless, looking at me like I was some sort of specimen, but I was over it.
“How do you want me?”
“You seem to know what you’re doing, so go ahead. Keep going.”
Bastard to the tenth order.
Fuming, I slightly pushed him to sit on the step before I straddled him. He might not be all the way hard, but his dick was big enough to make me orgasm without being its full potential. It was insulting that he wasn’t aroused because I was the total opposite, never had I been this wet for him.
Gripping the base of his cock, I gradually lowered myself to meet his length before I felt it break into my opening, stretching me slowly as I adjusted to his size, feeling the heavy weight of his stare. Beyond emotional, I closed my eyes and focused on the heaven my body was going through.
Biting the bottom of my lip, I slid up before I pushed down again, wetting his shaft with my essence further with each move. When I couldn’t take any more of him, I felt his cock twitch, engorged, finally having risen to full function.
I wanted to moan. I wanted to kiss him. And God, how I missed seeing the love shining through those eyes. However, I knew the moment I opened my eyes I would find none of those in his empty depths. Therefore, I kept them shut. But in my mind, the old Blake was alive and thriving, like the last time I rode him in this position.
“Open your eyes. Look me in the eye and fuck me like you mean it. I know you want to.”
His words snapped me out of my dream, and when I did open my eyes, the void I saw in his made me feel ill.
“I can’t do this.” I tried to get off him, but his hands took hold of my hips and pulled me firmly onto his cock. “I can’t—” A loud moan escaped me as my pussy rejoiced from pleasure.
“Ride it until you’ve emptied my cock. To the very last drop. That’s the only way I’m letting you get off it.” He was really being vicious.
“But that could mean a few more times.” He was insatiable; one session wasn’t ever enough for him.
“Best you get on with it so we can be rid of each other.”
The Point of No Return
Blake
She rode me three times in a row, one succession after the other, screaming and moaning as she had multiple orgasms around me. Sweat broke around her brows as she panted heavily, eyes dazed and heavy as she tried to breathe.
“Caro… I’m tired.”
Caro. One word, and yet, it tugged at my heartstrings. I had been feeling quite shitty for the past few days, and I’d thought that it would be better to give her some space because I, too, needed it. Tonight, I had actually planned to come home and ask if we could talk about us and where we go from there. I had also meant to ask for her forgiveness because I had been wr
ong to even ask it of her, knowing well that I’d made a promise. However, she had gone beyond temperamental and mentioned divorce.
Thus, when I hung up the phone, I scouted the bar for a woman with the brightest lipstick on and paid her a hundred quid to leave lipstick marks on me. I wanted to drive Sienna insane with jealousy, yet the woman had gone far and beyond.
Divorce for a baby.
I had never in my life felt such trepidation for my own sanity. Sienna’s harsh, accusing words about other women I could tolerate, but what I couldn’t fathom was how she had thrown around the word divorce as if it wasn’t of consequence. I, for one, never dreamt of the day it would even be considered between us. My wife, however, seemed to have thought of it, or it wouldn’t have come out of her Godforsaken mouth in the first place.
I wanted to be cruel, therefore I had told her I wouldn’t dare divorce her even if she killed me for it. Then, when she sounded unfazed by it all, I had dug it a little deeper, where I knew it would frazzle her. That was all it had been, merely words to me. I hadn’t thought I’d truly go through with it until I came home and she threatened to sleep with my cousin.
That was truly gutting to hear her say. Kyle? Well, that was already a given. I knew she’d run to him even before she said it. But Clive? Never. Besides, it wasn’t as if Clive could resist Sienna because, once she put her mind to seduction, she would be lethal to anyone’s libido.
I wanted to hate Sienna. I truly did, but my heart wouldn’t let me.
I cared, yet I somehow had shut off my emotions in fear that I’d become the bloody idiotic fool I was for her. I always was where she was concerned. Conversely, maybe there was a major part of me that had wanted to see her chase me, to prove she loved me the way I did her. Yet, as the days had gone on, with no effort coming from her, I had somehow given up on hoping she would at least meet me halfway. I had married her because I’d thought I had found what my father had found with my mother—unconditional love, devotion, and loyalty.
It was hard to admit it but I think I might’ve been mistaken on believing that.