by Rose Francis
He hadn’t taken a shower in days, and he had no idea how long Serena had gone without one herself.
He wanted to provide her with more creature comforts, and remind her what it was like to feel human in a world that now almost required them to be animalistic. So, soap it was, and some toiletries. And a change of clothes. And more variety in snacks. And weapons; although he did not need a whole lot more of them over the next few hours, it would soothe him to gather more.
Besides, he needed a moment to walk off his desire for Serena, or even better, fight it off. He had gotten almost an aching need to battle, and he knew that if he left the APC and walked around in open air for a while, that he would find one—whether in the form of a frightened, reactive human or a Morph. It was daylight, so he knew the chances of encountering a Morph were slim. Maybe he would find another survivor.
Then he remembered—he had been warned about picking up survivors. Although trained in the signs of infection, he would have to be super careful about bringing someone into the APC who perhaps looked fine in the moment, but in a few minutes or hours, could be the reason Serena had to die. No way he’d risk that, after all he had gone through to get her.
Steven shouted back a casual reminder to Serena to stay in the APC, letting her know about his mission to pick up a few things.
“Like what?” she asked, as he expected.
“Don’t worry about it—just stay where you are.”
Steven hopped out of the vehicle, feeling quite confident that he could sniff out nearby dangerous creatures, having been trained to do so half his life. He was used to picking up the scent of an intended ambush, a lying traitor, or even a destabilized fellow soldier.
He hoped that his Army fatigues would signal to an observing human that he was safe; still, he made sure that his bulletproof gear was fitted. People sometimes got wildly selfish in stressed situations, and even if they recognized him as a fellow, unturned human, they might try to take him out simply to get to his supplies. He would have to put a bullet in their head before they could even reconsider taking a guy like him down, and what a waste it would be.
Steven cleared the area to the doors, half-expecting the automatic doors to open for him, but he realized that the electricity had probably been cut.
He pulled open the door before him and quickly cleared the area around him, letting his instincts and intuition take over. He was amazed at how dark a large store like this could be without all of its usual lights. Then he put his gun down, determining that he was safe for the time being. He quickly headed for the aisles with the items he needed.
Steven didn’t ignore the dull poke that eventually emerged on the back of his neck—the feeling that another animal was somewhat nearby. He only waited for the animal to show itself, while keeping his eyes open and his access to weapons clear.
He didn’t know what type of animal he would encounter, but he was ready, even while holding a shopping basket.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
“Can you help me?”
Steven turned toward the voice, caught off guard by the almost childlike sound.
He expected to see an eight-year-old of either sex, but what he saw instead was a young girl—a brunette, with a round, young face in a long, dingy-looking nightgown. Perhaps she was a teenager; he wasn’t sure, but she had hit puberty at least. Her chestnut hair was stringy and looked sort of damp, while her skin had a slight film to it. Her brown eyes looked at him, round and hopeful. She looked like she had Pink Eye.
Steven kept his hand on his weapon.
He recognized the signs—this girl had been bitten. By what, he wasn’t sure—he hadn’t seen any dead Morphs in or around the store, although it sure smelled like dead something in the place—lots of rotted food once refrigeration stopped, he figured.
“What’s your name?” he asked as the girl slowly made her way toward him.
Steven immediately and quickly checked the area again in case she was setting him up for a trap.
“Allison,” she said, and the light, childlike voice twisted him. She looked so vulnerable, so hopeful, and yet…
“How long have you been here?”
“I don’t know—a day, maybe? I came in here yesterday, and I locked myself in the bathroom at night.”
Steven absorbed the information. “Where is it?” he asked.
He saw a familiar change come over her face, like a dark shadow zooming past.
Her shoulders lifted and fell quickly. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Even beyond adolescence, most people weren’t very good liars.
“Yes, you do. Who bit you, Allison? Where is it?” She pointed beyond him. Outside. “What happened?”
“The man tried to get me, but I got away. I ran in here and hid—he was too slow.”
“Did he touch you?”
“He grabbed my arm. He grabbed it so hard it started to bleed. He tried to bite it, but I pulled away. I got away!”
The girl obviously did not know that it was too late for her.
Steven knew what he had to do.
“Stay there, Allison,” he said, one hand out in a silent ‘stop’ command, the other still on his weapon.
Allison heeded him at first, but eventually, she continued to shuffle toward him. She began breathing hard, and he watched a slow change come over her face. The innocence melted away, leaving a focused, yet vacant stare.
The smell of him—of his fresh, unturned blood must have been killing her, for she did not stop her movement toward him despite his raised weapon.
Her eyes looked more and more ravenous, and her hands, curled, began a slow raise to her chest, giving her an almost rodent-like appearance.
Steven would never know if she could have had a chance—there just wasn’t enough time; it was too risky to keep her alive much longer.
He raised his gun and aimed for the center of her forehead. Then he pulled the trigger.
CHAPTER FIVE: STALLING
Serena was losing her patience.
They had stopped for diesel, they had stopped for Steven to raid abandoned stores, and they had stopped for him to take out some ‘Morphs’ as he called them. Now they were stopping again.
Steven had driven through most of the night, but somehow, Serena had a feeling they were still in California.
“I feel kind of gross,” Steven explained from up front. “I’m going to bathe in this upcoming body of water. The next one won’t be for a while since we’ll be going through…well, you know—the desert. The Morphs don’t like water, so the water itself is probably clear, but I’m going to clear the area anyway. Feel free to jump in, too.”
“I’ll wait till you’re done,” she said quickly, trying to keep irritation out of her voice.
Why was she getting mad at him? He had come to get her—he was trying to save her!—and he had probably inconvenienced himself in…who knew how many ways? All because of her. She should be grateful instead of resenting him for not getting them to their supposed sanctuary faster.
She sat there with folded arms and, left with only her thoughts, admitted to herself what the real problem was: she felt like a sitting duck. She had needed two bathroom breaks after drinking half a case of water and had to endure the humiliation of Steven’s close eye, plus he had come to the back to pick out something else to eat besides the bars he kept up front. With each pause in their travels, with every movement she made, she felt stalked.
She didn’t have to look at him to know that Steven’s blue eyes were on her, watching her every move—from tucking her hair behind her ear to just looking everywhere but at him.
He had explained why he had to keep an eye on her, and, given their situation, it was obviously true. That should’ve been all there was to it and appeased her discomfort, but the truth was, she felt naked under his gaze, and more feminine than ever.
She felt the rawness of his masculine appraisal, his appreciation of the curves of her face and body. He looked at he
r like he hadn’t seen a woman in months. Then she thought about it—perhaps he hadn’t. She had no idea what his life was like after the outbreak. Heck, she barely knew what his life was like before it.
Plus, she had always been wary of people who left regular life to do real battle, and then came back into civilian life after having seen and done horrible things she probably couldn’t even imagine.
How could they ever be normal again? Couldn’t they snap at any time?
Still, she managed to pretend that she didn’t secretly fear Steven, and the way he had been able to at least act like a regular human whenever he came back, helped.
Besides, the mystery of his occupation, the physical prowess he obviously possessed, his secretive, yet revealing eyes—she found all of it alluring.
Even now, she had to resist peeking at him as he bathed, and she battled the bare images of his muscular form that her mind tried to create.
By the time she heard him come back, she had decided she would also bathe, since they would be coming up on the base somewhat soon, and she felt a bit self-conscious about her state.
Steven had her wait until he put clothes back on and was able to escort her to the water, despite them being parked almost in it, just at the edge.
As she stepped forward, she let her hair down, and she felt his eyes on her as she stripped, then entered the still body of water, all with her back to him.
She tried not to think about him looking at her butt, and couldn’t even think about how she would make a graceful, demure exit without him seeing anything else.
“Turn away, sicko,” she said lightly. “Don’t look at me like this.”
“I have to watch you,” he said, and it almost sounded like something had caught in his throat. “I have to make sure you’re safe.”
She turned her head to shoot him a dirty look, even though she knew what he had said was true.
His eyes, often looking like blue steel, had a fire raging behind them.
Fear surged through her, and she turned away, regretting looking back at him.
She heard him chuckle.
“Do you think I’m going to rape you, Serena? You should know better than that.”
She still couldn’t look at him, for it was not being taken by force that she feared.
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” he continued softly.
She felt as if he followed up the words with a silent sentence, one that echoed an unformed one in her own head.
She looked again at him to see if he was indeed still talking to her, while choosing to keep the additional words to himself, and it appeared that he was.
Serena pushed her thoughts away and tried to ignore him, doing her best to clean herself in the face of self-consciousness, grateful for the stop that Steven had made earlier which got them soap and other toiletries, and even towels.
When she was done, she stood up tall, but stayed in place, her back still to him.
“Walk backwards,” she heard him say, sounding closer.
She found herself obeying without question.
She walked backwards slowly, arms across her chest, and hoping she didn’t fall and display everything she had been trying so hard to hide.
She kept walking until her back connected with his body. Then she felt a towel wrap around her.
Her head bowed in gratefulness as she accepted it, holding it around herself.
“Thank you,” she mumbled as she followed him back to the carrier vehicle.
As he opened the door for her, he said, “There’s some new, clean clothes back there for you, too. I tried to guess your size, but…” He shrugged.
She almost threw her arms around him in gratitude.
She hadn’t even thought of it—she didn’t think to take clothes with her when she left her apartment, and didn’t think about what she would put on once clean and leaving the water.
Steven left her to her privacy once she was inside, and he headed back to the driver’s seat.
Once she had put on the clothes—the T-shirt a little too big, the underwear just right, and the pants perfect for her pre-outbreak figure—she realized that the vehicle hadn’t moved.
“Are you asleep up there?” she asked somewhat softly, in case he was.
He didn’t answer.
“Hey, Steven,” she said a little louder, “are you all right?”
“I’m helping us out,” he said, and she wondered what he meant.
Then she heard him leave the vehicle again.
“Where are you going?” she asked, but he didn’t answer.
She waited until he reentered the vehicle.
Instead of going back to the driver’s seat, he entered the back area and sat opposite her, not looking at her.
“What was that about?” she asked, trying to read his face as he stared off to the side.
He heaved a sigh and looked down before looking up at her, arresting her with his eyes.
“I’ll be really honest,” he said. “I’m having a hard time here.”
She almost asked what he meant, but his meaning suddenly registered, rendering her silent.
“And listen, I know you’re trying not to want me, but you do. And I know it—which makes everything worse. And sometimes I think we should just get it out of the way.”
Serena saw no signs of joking.
She pushed down the ball of fear beginning to rise in her at his boldness and made a derisive sound.
“My husband died recently, and you think I’m sitting here, thinking about boning you?”
“You can deny it all you want, Serena, but for a while now, I’ve felt your attraction to me. And now that we’re here alone…”
He looked like he couldn’t continue and his eyes seemed to ripple with his struggle as they took in her body, went back to her face, and then looked off to the side again.
Suddenly, the APC felt unbearably small.
Serena didn’t dare move, fearing that she would trigger him to do something she wasn’t sure she was ready for.
She decided to play along with his train of thought—to engage his brain in conversation had to be safer than sitting there, watching his emotions take over him.
“So you think ‘getting it out of the way’ would make things easier?”
“Much easier than thinking about it the majority of the time? Fantasizing every second? Getting caught up in daydreams while those things could spring out of nowhere and sink their teeth into one of us? Why, yes, yes I do.”
“And the act of ‘getting it out of the way’ won’t be a distraction itself?”
He shrugged. “We could do it right here—we’re safe for now.”
“I think not!” she said forcefully, mustering up as much outrage as she could, unable to play along any further. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
He closed in on her quickly, and she felt the futility of any verbal protest press upon her as she froze in the face of his sudden nearness.
“An animal that puts up a fight is far more interesting than a cowering one,” he said, his face inches from hers. “You’re only whetting my appetite for battle, so if you really don’t want me to do it, don’t fight me; I love a fight. You’d lose, and boy would I win.”
Serena prided herself in not showing fear to anyone, but in that moment it was all that she felt, and there was no hiding it. She was unable to speak, and, needing to take in more oxygen, her chest lifted and fell rapidly.
Steven seemed to drink in the signs of her fear, smiling as his eyes took in her body again, as if hungry for the emotion like some fear-sucking vampire.
Then he took a finger and trailed it down her arm, making her shiver uncontrollably. The gesture delighted her, leaving her unbearably aroused.
His smile widened, and he looked her in the eyes then—still too close—his face, that of a victor.
“You know I will protect you, Serena. And as your protector in this circumstance, you know that you are at my mercy.”
Serena trie
d not to feel weak at the thought.
“I doubt you would rather surrender to them than to me.”
Serena had to look away. He could take her right then if he wanted to—she knew it, and he clearly knew it, even if she had averted her eyes to hide the truth of her desire.
“This isn’t some game of Words With Friends,” he continued. “I have a distinct advantage here and can win every time. So don’t push me.”
Serena kept still, trying to do the equivalent of playing dead in the presence of a bear. Surely he’d get tired of playing with her in this state?
But he didn’t; in fact, he seemed to revel in his position of power.
“Remember that one time I won the game, though? After all that time losing to you—although less and less humiliatingly—when I finally made that winning play, it was almost like…like I finally got to fuck you. I couldn’t believe the release, the satisfaction of finally beating you after over two years of us playing. But something tells me that satisfaction would be no where near the satisfaction of actually fucking you, no matter how orgasmic that particular win felt.”
Serena felt like she was going to pass out.
“I’ve had you dangled in front of me for almost three years, and there’s nothing between us now,” he said as he looked down at her body again. Then he suddenly pulled away and sat back down opposite her, his hands pressed against his head and his eyes squeezed shut. “Get out of here,” he said. “Now!”
Serena scrambled to leave the APC, but his hand was quickly at her top, effectively stopping her by pulling her back.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“You said…!”
“Don’t ever listen to me in a state like that. Don’t you ever go out there without me going ahead of you. I told you—you’re in danger when you leave this carrier without me, and my mission is…”
“To protect me, I know.”
“You have to trust me to keep you safe…no matter what happens,” he said, emphasizing the words. Then he let out a short breath. “I’m only sparing you right now because I know once it starts, once I get a taste of you…”