“You better not be—”
“She’s eating,” I clarify, though that’s going to change once I hang up.
“Loren,” Rose snaps.
“She’s not blowing me. For Christ’s sake.”
Lily’s brows jump and her eyes bug. She mouths, what? Her gaze falls to the zipper on my jeans, and she blushes on cue.
I press the speaker button so she can hear her sister. And then I fish my button through my jeans, Lily’s mouth drops like I performed a fuckin’ circus trick.
I can’t help but smile. My girlfriend is beyond adorable.
Rose says, “I just want to know—”
“Privacy,” I state the one word that no one seems to understand, not even our friends and family. Maybe Poppy and Sam have their heads screwed on tight, since they both refused to sign their rights away to television producers.
“We asked to be alone on New Year’s Eve, and you’ve called us a record-breaking twenty times.”
“And Lily didn’t answer eighteen of those,” Rose notes.
“Are you dying?” I ask. “Please tell me you’re dying or suffering from a life-threatening affliction and not calling to check up on us.”
Lily mouths, be nice. But she’s ditched the peanut butter, her fingers hooked in my belt loops, drawing me nearer.
I cup my hand over the speaker. “I’m being very nice right now,” I whisper. “I could have easily hung up on her after I said my piece.” I wait for Rose to launch a grenade over the speaker, but she stays quiet, inadvertently answering me.
I groan in agitation. “Rose.” We’re fine.
Lily grabs the phone out of my hand and interjects, “You’re at a party. Shouldn’t you be having fun?”
“I’m at the Cobalt’s business party,” Rose reminds her. “Having fun at these events is never on the agenda.” She pauses. “The food isn’t terrible.” She hesitates like she has more to say. Maybe she wasn’t calling to nag us like a worried parent.
Now I feel like an asshole.
“What is it?” Lily asks, sensing the same thing.
I rest my palms on the counter, on either side of Lily. I’m still a head taller than her, and she stares up at me while she waits for her sister to reply.
I watch her chest collapse, desire blanketing her face. I just want to fuck my best friend. Hurry up, Rose.
“Connor booked the suite tonight,” Rose whispers, as though to keep the people around her from hearing. “I found out when we arrived.”
I run my hands up Lily’s thighs, her jeans soft underneath my palms. I step closer so my cock is right against that spot, the one I know is already soaked. Christ. I begin to harden, just ready to push completely inside of her. We fucked twice already tonight—but this time is killing me more than the others.
I just want to hear Lily cry out.
Her lips part in a heavy breath.
“Lily?” Rose snaps, ice returning to her voice.
I remove my hands so she can talk to her sister, but I can’t back up. I lick my lips and rest my palms on the cabinet beside her head, leaning into her.
“What’s…so bad about that?” Lily asks. She forces her gaze to the ceiling so she can focus. I press my lips to her neck, lightly and then deeply. A noise catches in her throat just in time, so soft her sister can’t hear.
Lily’s hand tightens on my waist, and when I look up at her, she mouths, do you want to get caught?
No.
Rose and Ryke—they won’t understand. All they’ll see is a list of rules we’ve been given and tally off how many we’ve broken. Nothing else will matter.
I hear Rose inhale loudly. “Yesterday, I made this grand statement about how I’m ready to have sex with him—just to shut him up—and now I think he’s calling out my bluff.”
I can solve this problem. I glance at the phone in Lily’s hand. “Just tell Connor that you changed your mind. He won’t care.”
“He’ll win,” Rose says like that’s the stupidest idea.
“So what?”
Rose growls. “You wouldn’t understand.”
Lily mouths, I got this.
Great. Because I don’t speak Rose’s language.
Lily clears her throat. “Put him in a really uncomfortable position and then he’ll freak out and you both will be off the hook.”
I can practically feel Rose shaking her head. “Trust me, he’s not uncomfortable in any position.”
“How about just castrating him?” I chime in. “You threaten my balls every day.”
“That’s because they’re hanging around my sister,” Rose snaps. I hate that she makes a good point. “And you have full right to threaten my eggs or fallopian tubes. Have at them.”
I grimace. “I’m not going anywhere near your vagina.”
Rose says distantly, “I’m just trying to be fair.”
Lily thinks hard, her brows pinched in this adorable way. “I don’t know, Rose. You may lose this one. I mean…you can’t go home with another guy…” Lily lets that terrible option drift in the air.
And her sister stays completely silent on the matter.
“Rose!” both Lily and I yell.
“I wouldn’t cheat on him,” Rose says. “That’s disgusting. He’s just staring at me right now.” Her voice lowers. “I think he can read my expression.”
“Your bitch face?”
“No,” Rose drags out the word. “…I’m scared.”
I regret my words as soon as I hear her honesty. It doesn’t come often, especially not around me. “Rose,” I say, trying to soften my edged voice. “Sex is a big deal, and you shouldn’t sleep with Connor if you’re afraid.”
“Why are you being nice to me?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. It feels weird.
“Well…I don’t like it.”
I glare at the phone. “Good because it’s not happening again.”
“Thanks,” she says. I can’t tell if it’s for the advice or for my last statement. “He’s walking over here…I’ll call you later ton—”
“Tomorrow,” I force.
“Right,” she says distractedly. And then she hangs up first.
I slide Lily’s flip phone down the counter, to the coffee pot, away from us. “No more sisterly or brotherly interruptions.” I announce this as a fucking rule. Ryke has called three times tonight to ask how I’m doing. I spent last New Year’s Eve in rehab. It’s not like I’m going to grab a bottle of champagne because the day of the year tells me to.
“Do you remember before we were together?” Lily asks as I unbutton her jeans.
I freeze. “You mean when I was piss drunk?”
“No, I mean…yes, but that’s not what I meant.” Her skin blotches with dark red patches.
I lace my hand with hers. “I’m listening.”
Her shoulders rise with confidence as she speaks. “You used to do this with me all the time,” she says. “Pin me in the kitchen, toy with me…” She smiles at the memories. “I liked it, even when we weren’t together. But this is rare now.” Her eyes dance around our bodies. “I just wondered if you’re afraid of teasing me.”
I lift her chin so her gaze meets mine. “If I was afraid, I wouldn’t be doing it tonight.”
“But we’re going to have sex,” she says.
“Yeah?” I frown, not understanding what she’s getting at.
“So you won’t flirt with me unless we can have sex. Because you’re afraid of me.”
I glare. “Can you stop saying that? I’m not fucking scared of you, Lil.”
“Then you’re afraid of enabling me.”
I shake my head. All I’ve wanted is to be with her completely, fully, without compromise. But maybe there’s a signal in my brain that says: Don’t touch her like that. Don’t make her hornier than she is. Don’t tempt her. Not unless she can have something more afterwards. “Can you handle me?” I ask lowly.
“I want to start trying,” she says, her chest elevating at the proclama
tion. “I want to have everything we had without all the bad.”
I’ve never been more in love with her. “I’m going to trust you to stop on your own then.”
She nods repeatedly. “I will. I can. I know I can.”
“Yeah?”
She smiles. I kiss her deeply, her body pulling towards mine with the embrace, and I pin our clasped hand to the cupboard above her head.
As she catches her breath, my forehead rests against hers. Softly, I whisper, “I believe in you, love.” This is a goal I’ve never heard her make. It’s one I’ll entertain and help her reach.
But tonight—I want to fit perfectly against her with no room for hesitation or fears. I slip the jeans off her legs and step out of mine.
She slides her hands underneath my shirt with a heady gaze. “Can I take your shirt off?”
“You don’t have to ask,” I say.
Her lips curve up, and she hungrily raises the fabric over my head. Her fingers comb through my brown hair. “Closer,” she whispers.
I grab her legs and yank her towards me, my cock between her legs. The fabric of our underwear is in the way. She holds onto my bare shoulders like I’ve already started driving into her. This is the only time that I’m glad she bites her nails. Otherwise, she would draw blood.
She clings to me so tightly that I have no chance of removing her V-neck shirt unless I ask. I’d rather keep her in my arms, like this, than have her completely naked.
Lily rests her cheek on my chest and whispers, “Closer.”
I suck on the base of her neck, and she whimpers and gasps at once. Her ass barely rests on the counter. I support most of her weight with my body. If someone wanted to tear us apart, they’d have to claw her off of me.
I grin as I kiss her lips. Heat gathers between us. The nerve-splitting sensations start before I even push in.
“Closer,” is all she can say.
Almost.
I take off my boxer-briefs and slip off her panties. Her need is apparent when I distance our bodies. She squirms like she hates the empty air.
Her arms hook underneath mine, and her beautiful green eyes remain fixed on my amber irises. Overwhelmed. Both of us.
“Closer,” she breathes.
And I grab my shaft and slowly push my erection deep inside of her. God. My eyes almost roll back in my head.
She cries out, “Lo!”
I rest our clasped hand back on the cupboard. “Lil…” I thrust against her, so deep that a groan scratches my throat. With our bodies melded together, she stares straight into me. I rock, barely able to separate from her.
She kisses me first, and my smile disappears to carnal desire. I hold the back of her head, my tongue parting her lips and sliding against hers. Lily’s confidence, during sex, has been lost for a while. It’s nice to see it start to return.
I thrust hard again, and she breaks away to let out a sharp moan. No one else is listening in. When filming begins for the reality show—our audience will multiply unless we’re careful. In this moment, it doesn’t matter though.
We just let go.
After we both reach that peak, I keep her in my arms and comb her damp hair out of her face. The television plays a New Year’s Eve concert in the living room, the faint sounds now audible in our silence.
“I love you,” I tell her. Even though I say those words often after we have sex, she still glows when it reaches her ears.
“I love you too.”
Just as I go to kiss her again, the front door creaks open.
Rose. It has to be Rose. She came home to avoid spending the night in the suite with Connor. It’s a stupid decision, considering he now lives in this house with us. They even share a bedroom. What’s so different about a hotel?
Lily’s eyes widen with panic. “Oh my God.”
I’m standing in the kitchen. Buck naked.
While Lily has a shirt on, her panties are littered on the floor with the rest of our clothes. I lift her off the counter and set her feet on the ground.
I don’t know why I’m surprised. I have the shittiest luck in the whole universe. How many guys wake up one day and are told they’re bastards? How many have their biological mom basically say: hey, I didn’t want you when you were born nor do I care about you now?
I’ve been stampeded so many times already; I might as well brace myself before it happens again.
I zip my pants and turn to Lily and button her jeans. “We’re fucked,” she hisses.
“Not yet,” I whisper. “Fix your hair.”
She rapidly tries to flatten the messy strands.
The door slams closed, and as I bend down to grab my black crew-neck, I spot leather boots and long legs in the archway between the living room and the kitchen. My eyes travel up to her green army jacket and blonde hair.
“Daisy,” I say hesitantly. I breathe out, just glad it’s not Rose.
Her green eyes—swollen and reddened—dart between Lily and me. “Sorry…I didn’t mean to…” She rotates and heads back into the living room.
“Wait,” I say, rushing after Daisy with Lily by my side. I hurriedly put on my shirt and realize that Daisy’s aimed for the door.
“What happened?” Lily asks, fear pitching her voice.
“Daisy, don’t leave,” I add, sprinting ahead and blocking her exit. I lean my back against the door and keep a hand on the knob.
Then I scan her features. But her insanely long hair drapes along her cheeks and brows, masking her expression. Her fingers brush beneath her eyes—wiping tears?
My face twists. “Are you crying?”
“I’m fine,” she breathes. “I’m just going to go. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
My jaw locks. She knows we had sex.
Great.
And she’s going to tell my brother—because he prods for information, and they’re strangely friends.
Lily rests her hand on Daisy’s shoulder. “What happened? I thought you were spending the night at Cleo’s house?”
My brows furrow. “Cleo?” I try to wrack my brain for an image of Daisy’s friend. I think she’s blonde too. That’s all I picture.
“She’s my best friend,” Daisy mutters and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “I just…the party was lame. I thought I could come back here and watch the countdown on GBA with you and then crash in the guest room.”
“Then that’s what we’re going to do. You’re staying here,” Lily says adamantly, guiding Daisy over to the couch. They sit down together. I can’t remember a time where Lily was this protective. Maybe when I was in rehab, she grew closer to Daisy, but I never saw this side of their relationship. Lily, being the big sister like Rose, except without all the ice.
“We can watch Adventures in Babysitting. That’s one of your favorite movies, right?” Lily offers.
Daisy smiles. “You remembered?”
Lily nods. “Yeah. You told me…” She closes one eye as she recalls the date. I could kiss her again. “…last week, I think.”
“That sounds good.” Daisy takes off her jacket, settling in.
“Here, I’ll hang that up,” I tell her, grabbing the green fabric.
“Thanks.” She gives me a weak smile and scoots closer to Lily. Both girls have their feet on the couch. “So…” Daisy pauses.
Don’t say it. Don’t bring it up. I liked thinking that she’d pretend it never happened. I open the hallway closet and take out an empty hanger.
“…I thought you weren’t supposed to have sex in the kitchen or the living room—not that I’m judging. I just always thought it was a rule.” I hear the curiosity in her voice. Still, I’ve never had the urge to discuss my sex life with my girlfriend’s sixteen-year-old sister. In fact, it’s as uncomfortable as it sounds.
“Uhhh…” Lily draws out the word. “Lo?” She peeks her head over the couch, waiting for me to return to handle this one. Her cheeks are tomato-red.
I hang up Daisy’s jacket, shut the closet and take a seat o
n Rose’s Queen Anne chair. “It’s not a rule so much as a suggestion.” I smile a bitter smile. Then I collect the remote, about to increase the volume to GBA’s Ballin’ New Year’s Eve.
“Are you sure Ryke and Rose know that it’s a suggestion and not a rule?” Daisy asks us. “I think they’d be really upset…” She licks her dried lips. “I mean…it’s not considered relapsing, right?”
Guilt washes over Lily’s face.
I go cold.
“No,” I interject quickly. We’re at a good fucking place. She’s confident, not compulsive. I won’t let their fears fuck with her progress. “Not that I really want to explain this to you,” I add and then grimace. Way to be a prick, Loren. “Lily’s therapist says that we can move things forward, depending on how well she’s doing.”
This is completely true, but even if Rose and Ryke had a sit down with Dr. Banning, they’d probably still believe that Lily needs more structure and limitations. Outwardly, she seems aloof and anxious, but most of that is because of the media.
It’s complicated.
Daisy wears a pained expression. “And you’re doing well?” she asks her sister.
Lily nods, but she has very little evidence to prove this, considering she hides under desks, dodges cameras, and isolates herself from people.
“Hey, Daisy?” I rub the back of my neck, my eyes narrowed. “Can you never tell my brother what you saw tonight? In fact, let’s just keep this between us.”
Lily says, “Please. We’ve been trying not to advertise our sex life as much.”
Daisy’s not stupid.
The gears click in her head—thinking we’re on a dangerous road. We aren’t. Not yet, at least.
Lily clasps Daisy’s hand and then says, “Do you want ice cream? Rose stocked up on double fudge for you.”
“I can’t…I have a photo shoot next week.”
“Oh,” Lily says, more remorse filling her eyes.
“No, it’s cool.” Daisy hugs her sister back, and just like that, their relationship has been reversed. Daisy cheering up Lily, something that only makes Lily feel like shit. “Let’s just watch the movie after the countdown. Who needs ice cream, right?”
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