“When?”
“When I take you on a real date for your birthday,” Logan seemed so sure of himself, but our school would notice if we left to go into the city again. We weren’t allowed to even have the boys and girls together at school except on fundraising or school event nights when they paraded us out for investors.
“Logan,” I sighed, not wanting to be a downer, but reality was eminent. “We aren’t going to be able to get away with this.”
“It’s our year twelve, and I want to take you. Besides I asked Sister Katherine to help me with this one favor and I promised to apply to go to a University, and stay out of trouble the rest of the year.”
“Are you serious?” I quietly asked with glee. I couldn’t stop the smile on my face while my head crunched the numbers on how many negative statistical probabilities would happen if we tried. He gave me a nod as he took out his sandwich and I lunged myself at him.
I crawled over him until he was laying beneath me and placed a kiss upon his soft lips. My hand let go of my lunch as his hands wrapped around my back before one hand reached down and covered my butt over my plaid skirt.
I reached down and moved his hand as he chuckled through the kisses I was leaving all over him. He promptly rolled me onto the floor of the tree house and looked down on me.
“You want to go?” he whispered, as his head came down and kissed my neck. His lips moved across my skin as I squirmed beneath him and gripped his back. I wanted more. I never wanted him to stop, but the nuns told us it was a sin if we went too far without marriage.
“I want,” I moaned as his knees pushed my legs apart so he could rest on his knee as he pulled my ear lobe in between his teeth.
“I know this drives you crazy, but I love those little sounds you make,” Logan’s breath on my neck left goosebumps everywhere as that apex in between my legs started to pulse. I grabbed Logan’s hair and forced him to kiss me hard and fast. I ran my hands up his back, and gripped his shoulders tightly before I realized what we were doing and my shyness that only appeared when we were doing this took over. My conscious then followed.
“We can’t,” I whispered.
“I know,” he smiled down on me. “I respect your decision to wait until marriage, but you should know these little moments make it very hard.”
“How did I get so lucky to find someone like you so early in life? It’s like my heart already knew you were the one for me, that you would never hurt me, and the rest of my body followed.”
“I don’t call it luck,” Logan spoke, as he climbed off of me and helped me sit up. “I call it fate. Someone out there in the universe saw two kids that were both abandoned, both were losing their mom, and both had trouble with trust. They pointed us toward each other and let us go. There was never a single person more meant for me than you.”
I looked at his body, sculpted from being forced into every sport, and thought about the Statue of David and wondered if it would even compare to the perfection of Logan.
I pushed him back down on the bean bag chair and snuggled up beside him, laying my head on his chest as I listened to his heart race.
“You’re my puzzle piece,” I whispered, as he wrapped his arms around me and let me lie there. “No one else will ever fit me the way you do.”
“I love you, London,” Logan replied and placed a kiss on top of my head. “I’m so incredibly lucky that you decided to love me back.”
“Logan,” I hesitated as my nerves overwhelmed me. “I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of?” He questioned as his arms tightened around me and I soaked up his confidence and warmth.
“I’m terrified to ask you to be my first,” I whispered almost inaudible.
“I was your first,” he answered, as I looked up into his brownish hazel eyes. “I was your first kiss, your first love, but most importantly I was your first friend.”
“Logan,” I whispered unable to get the words out. I let my hand feel every inch of his chest and moved it toward his dress pants.
“London, we aren’t prepared and I’m definitely not ready to get married,” he tried to stop me with his words, but made no move to remove my hand that was unbuttoning his pants. “London, you need to think about what it is you’re wanting. Neither of us has ever done this and we are in some little kid’s treehouse,” his words finally sank in and I stopped my prying fingers from trying to feel all of him.
“I’ll stop,” I whispered, when the thought entered my mind that if I had only one night left on earth before I became an angel and my halo shined down on the world to see I would want to know that everything I ever did in this life that mattered included Logan. I wanted to love him enough that my halo would be one of the stars that looked down on him.
Chapter Nineteen
Logan
“I’m sorry, Logan,” another person I didn’t recognize shook my hand as they viewed my dad’s body in the bronze casket.
My stepmom was wearing a black dress that looked painted on and did enough hair tossing to make people think we were on Girls Gone Wild while she flirted around with my dad’s business partner. She was looking for her next meal ticket.
“Mr. Keenan,” Sister Katherine walked up to me. “Are you still not speaking to me?”
“It’s a funeral. I will speak to anyone who is grieving, but we are not discussing London.”
“Is anyone welcome here?” She asked, and my eyes immediately started searching for London. My heart sped up and I wanted to see her. I felt horrid after what I had said, but the worst of it was watching some miniature Transformer of a man carrying her to a car. It triggered some kind of jealously I didn’t know I had. It was like watching Optimus Prime rescue a kitten.
In all my time hating London, I never envisioned she would be with anyone except me, but when I looked out the window that day, there she was in some burly arms crying her eyes out. Somehow, I hated myself for her running to him.
“Everyone is welcome,” I finally answered.
“I have someone who wanted to be here, but we couldn’t get them on another flight in time,” Sister Katherine smiled and then pulled out a cell phone from her habit.
“Ada,” I greeted the angel in the phone. “Thank you for being here with me today. It means a lot,” I told her and she sighed.
“It’s what decent people do,” she scoffed. “Besides, I’m your only friend.”
I chuckled as she rambled on about my evasive magic trick about the donkey. She thought she had figured it out. She imagined I had just outrun him.
“Mom wants you,” Ada finally conceded, figuring it out as Lisa took the phone.
“How are you, Logan?” Lisa pried as I saw more unfamiliar faces filling in the church. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel about my dad having this entire life that I wasn’t a part of. Truth was, I felt nothing at all.
“I’m good, Lisa, thank you for asking,” I warmly smiled for her. “How is my buddy doing?”
“She’s teaching her dolls how to fly in case she has to come to you again,” Lisa laughed, then her smile faltered. “Are you bringing your dad here after the service? Should we prepare for a memorial here?”
“No. I’m burying him next to my mom here. He followed her here after her job moved her, it’s only fitting that he be laid to rest where they made their life together. This afternoon his lawyer is reading the will. I just want this over and to be home.”
“Is everyone going to the burial site?” Lisa asked and I thought about it for a second, but then my dad’s pleas came to mind.
“No, I made a promise that only a couple of people would be present when we lowered him in the ground. Honestly, it is just going to be me. Not even my step-slut is going to be privy to it. She is telling everyone we are cremating him because his heart exploded from loving her too much. Then they come to me with questions because we aren’t cremating him.”
“Sounds stupid,” Ada yelled from the background where I couldn’t see her.
&
nbsp; “I get no privacy,” Lisa joked as she panned the camera down.
“How is it going there?” Lisa inquired as Ada started coloring a sheet of paper with my name on it.
“This whole thing is a true testament to what I don’t want,” I confided in Lisa. “I don’t want forced sadness. I want a band to play rock music. I want strippers and confetti shooters. I want the world to celebrate that for a glimmer of time I was here.”
“I will have to make sure I remember that,” Lisa softly whispered. “I want to talk to you about something when you get some time and distance from everyone there.”
“Grant me a distraction,” I pleaded, and she laughed.
“I want you to think about coming home to us,” Lisa didn’t make any sense.
“Lisa, I will always come back home.”
“No, Logan, we want you to come home to us. As in more than neighbors,” I stayed frozen and wished we hadn’t been on Skype where she could probably see me wince. “Look, I know you have baggage with the woman from your dad’s house a couple weeks ago…”
“I do not have issues with London, that’s over!”
“So, that’s the infamous London,” Lisa smiled. “Look, you don’t have to agree, and it won’t change anything if you decide not to come home to us. Just give it some thought and go say goodbye. Ada and I will be here whenever you need a friend. There is no rush for you to come back unless you just want to be here with us.”
“Thanks, Lisa. I’ve already been here longer this trip than I wanted. I didn’t even think the airline would let me come back since I just flew to Phoenix day before yesterday. I should be home in a day or two and I will let you know what I decide then,” I retreated from any further conversations, but allowed Sister Katherine to set her phone up on a church pew. Ada had put on a purple dress to attend, so we left Skype open, so she could be here.
I went back to shaking hands as more people filed into the room. My dad’s lawyer wiggled that three hundred euros an hour finger in my direction and I walked over.
“I have your father’s new will. He signed it a few days ago when you went to see him. I have called everyone that is included in this to be here today. Everyone has shown so far except two, but I think you should know Celeste is saying he was not of sound mind. I need to know if you concur.”
“If I agree that he was crazy?” I asked with confusion. “He was dying. His heart was failing that was it. I don’t know what is in his will, but I do know that whatever he wanted is what he wanted because he was the same asshole I knew until the very end.”
“Thank you. I am going to conclude this then after the service. Do you want me to send letters to those included that do not show?”
“Like who?”
“Your aunt, Hailey Morris, from Texas, and London Montgomery from New York, but there is no listed relation,” he explained.
“London is in the will?”
“Yes, she is included,” he responded. I guess having family in the states was another thing I missed out on being locked away at a school. I didn’t know the people who were actual bloodline, and I didn’t know complete betrayal until just now.
How could London have had a relationship with him?
An older man with a cane walked in with a familiarity to him. He looked around the room as two men came and stood by him. I walked away from my dad’s lawyer while he was still babbling and made my way to him.
“Mr. Markovich,” Sister Katherine greeted him.
“You look more beautiful every time I see you,” he flirted with her. I was pretty sure somewhere in a good book it was a sin or a travesty to flirt with a nun, but the familiarity between them seemed to thicken in the air around us.
“If only they had found the key to my chastity belt,” she joked, as they seemed to have a rapport I didn’t understand.
“Mr. Markovich, this is Logan Keenan. Logan, this is London’s father, Nikolas Markovich,” she continued, as I caught the dark hair of a woman coming to join him. I hoped it would be London for that split second, but at the same time I didn’t want her here.
Finally, I saw the woman as she walked away from someone who shook her hand. She looked just like London only older and very pregnant. I think I remembered her from school, but couldn’t place her. She had a man with her who watched the room as if he was getting ready to take a bullet for her. Seemed intense.
“Hi, Logan,” the dark-haired woman took my hand. “I’m Brooklyn and this is my husband, Mark,” she smiled a really big smile. “I am so sorry for your loss. Is there anything we can do?” Her smile faded.
“No, but thank you for asking. Please come in and have a seat anywhere we’re not picky.”
Then I took Sister Katherine by her arm and we walked toward my seat.
“Why are they here?”
“They came-,” Katherine was cut off when the music started playing.
I sat through the entire funeral and listened as people told stories about my father, but I had nothing to say. I didn’t even remember what life was like with him and I had carried resentment for so long I didn’t want to.
“Perhaps his son would like to say a few words,” Father David spoke loudly and caught my attention. I stood up and walked to the podium in front of the large group of people who were mostly strangers to me and cleared my throat.
“Today we bury my father. The man who -,” I halted. What was I going to say? I took a deep breath and went for being honest.
“I spent the majority of my life being irate with people. In my twenty-four years I only had two people who knew me and understood me. One of those women was my mother who my father loved dearly. So much that when she died he couldn’t bear to look at me because I was a constant reminder of what he lost.
“I held onto the bitterness from that. Hell, I was still covering myself with Captain America’s shield of rage until a few weeks ago. That was when I saw my father. That first meeting after nearly twenty years didn’t go as planned,” I hesitated and looked at the faces in the crowd, wishing London was there.
“That first meeting after a long separation infuriated me because he wanted forgiveness and I didn’t know how to give him that. I would do anything to take back those moments of outrage now, but I can’t. My dad knew this. He knew this because even though he had abandoned me he still knew me.
“When he finally got me to sit down he told me stories about a father hiding in the back of a high school graduation. A dad who was in the shadows when his son earned his wings. A dad who would go to any length to do what he thought was best for his son.
“When he told me the truth, the forgiveness came easily because that was my graduation, those were my wings, and he did go to great lengths to ensure I was successful. I can’t stand here and tell you I will miss him because he hasn’t been a part of my life in a really long time, but I can tell you that I understand him, and believe he was an exceptional man.
“I never understood the importance of a farewell until I didn’t get to say goodbye, so thank you for coming out to be here and saying adieu.”
I stepped down and walked out of the church. I walked outside to a tree and placed one arm on it as I caught my breath. Standing up there in front of everyone and identifying him as my father who I would never see again had knocked the wind out of me. Reality was finally sinking in.
“You know it’s funny how that line between love and hate is so incredibly thin it can be crossed repeatedly in the span of a few minutes,” Brooklyn spoke, as she stood behind me.
“What are you talking about?” I questioned.
“My sister isn’t perfect. She should be allowed to screw up and not have someone wish for her to die because of it,” Brooklyn admonished me as her husband wrapped his arms around her and listened. “I heard what happened - all of it,” she continued.
“You heard her version. The one where I am most likely the bad guy? Where it was all my fault?” I asked, and Brooklyn shook her head. “You need to know that what she
did wrenched me in two,” I sneered. “I’ve made sure it won’t happen again.”
“What you think she did and what she actually did are two different things. Maybe you should try talking to her. Start with her wrist. Ask her who broke it,” Brooklyn hinted.
“She landed on it when she jumped out of a swing,” I informed her, as I remembered that was the beginning of the end.
“Did she?” Brooklyn cocked her head with confidence and sarcasm waiting just beneath the surface. “I thought the swings were strictly for the little kids.” Then she walked away.
“Everyone needs to come inside,” Sister Katherine told me as my dad’s lawyer waved for me to come inside. I walked in and took a seat in the front so that everyone would think I gave a damn about where my dad’s stuff was going.
“I am going to read from the will and then there is something that was written out that he has asked Sister Katherine to read to you. Let’s begin. To Celeste Keenan, my seventh and most expensive wife, I leave you one hundred and ninety four pounds to get a bus ticket to go back to where you came from you lying, cheating whore.”
Well this was off to a great start. By the time we got to the tenth person my dad had given away five hundred pounds, a dirty towel, and everyone got his two cents.
“Sister Katherine,” the lawyer called. “I can’t disclose the rest until-,” he continued and she nodded. I watched her walked up to the podium with nervousness. She was never a normal nun by anyone’s standards, but I had never seen her like this.
“George Keenan asked me to tell you all a story of something I was privy to. Something that could bring closure to many, open up doorways, and hopefully help some find forgiveness after all these years… Six years ago.”
Chapter Twenty
Logan - The date
“Ready?” I asked as I waited below the tree house for London to get dressed. I had borrowed a tux and the dress from the friends I had made when I snuck out. They all lived around the lake which worked out perfectly. Lady Jones was ready to take a photo for me to carry in my wallet as soon as London came down.
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