by Joanna Neil
It was well into the early hours of the morning when she finally heard his car draw up outside, and she hurried to open the door to him.
‘I’m so glad that you’re back, safe and sound,’ she said, ushering him inside the cottage. She gave him a hug, and he wrapped his arms around her in return and held her tightly for a moment or two. He didn’t say anything, or attempt to kiss her, and when he released her she felt a sudden sense of isolation.
His manner was odd, as though in his mind he was detached from her, and to cover her brief tremor of unease she said, ‘Shall we go through to the kitchen? It’s warm in there and I expect you’d like a drink or something to eat.’ She led the way, adding as an afterthought, ‘I was expecting you back here hours ago.’
He gave a faint grimace. ‘The flight was delayed.’ He looked tired, washed out and frustrated and she guessed that his search had been fruitless.
She pulled out a chair for him by the table, but he didn’t sit down. Frowning, she studied him surreptitiously and wondered if he was keeping something back. Perhaps he couldn’t bring himself to say what was on his mind.
‘Is there no news?’ she asked.
He shook his head. ‘I hired a car and went over every inch of the area that they had covered. I checked the village the boat had been heading for and several places along the coast in either direction. There was nothing, no sign of them.’
She pressed her lips together, making a grim shape. ‘I’m sorry.’ She shook her head. ‘I keep saying that, but I don’t know how else to put it. It’s a wretched business. You must be at the end of your tether.’ What could she say that would be of any use? Not knowing what had happened, one way or the other, was a numbing state of affairs.
She saw the shadows beneath his eyes and wanted to comfort him. ‘Would you like a hot drink? I could make you some hot chocolate—that might help you to get a good night’s sleep, and then things might not seem so bad in the morning. What about something to eat?’
‘I’m not hungry, thanks all the same. But I will have a hot drink, and then I’ll slide into an armchair and get some rest, if you don’t mind. I’m whacked out and I have to be at work in the morning.’
‘You won’t need to sleep in a chair. I’ve made up a camp bed for you in the sitting room. It shouldn’t be too uncomfortable, because there’s a reasonably good mattress on it.’ She frowned. ‘As for work, you don’t have to go in. You won’t be fit for anything after just a few hours’ sleep. Don’t worry about it, I’ll sort something out.’
He nodded briefly, acknowledging the offer. ‘We’ll see in the morning. I’ll go and look in on Jacob and Sarah, if I may. Have they been all right?’
‘Yes, of course you may, and they’ve been wonderful. They wanted you to wake them when you came in.’ She hesitated, running her tongue over dry lips. ‘You didn’t know it, but Sarah had guessed that something was wrong. She saw the article in the newspaper you threw away.’
He winced, and then pulled in a deep, shuddery breath, straightening his shoulders as though he was steeling himself for what was to come.
‘Thanks for warning me. I’ll go and have a word.’
She went into the kitchen and made some hot chocolate while he went to see the children. When he came back downstairs some time later, she pushed a steaming mug in front of him, and he sat down in a chair by the table and sipped gratefully.
‘How did it go?’ she asked him. ‘With the children, I mean.’
‘Not so bad. I told Sarah that no news is good news, and she seemed to be satisfied with that for the time being. Jacob was a sleepyhead. He gave me a smile and mumbled something about Robo-laser and then drifted back to sleep.’
She made a rueful smile. ‘You have that joy to come. He’s been working on it all weekend, so you had better make sure that you make all the right noises when you see it.’
‘I’ll do that.’ Weariness washed over him, and she guessed that he had been on the move for the whole of the time he had been away.
‘You should get some rest,’ she said. ‘I’ll go upstairs now, and I’ll see you in the morning.’
He nodded. ‘Thanks for everything, Abby.’ He went with her to the door and as she would have gone out into the hallway, he put out his arms to her and drew her close. ‘It’s good to come back and find you here. I feel as though you’re the one person I can depend on. It means a lot to me, having your support.’ He lowered his head to her and kissed her tenderly, making her whole body quiver in startled response.
It was over as soon as it had begun, and she realised that she had to take it for what it was…a gesture of thanks, nothing more.
In the morning, she was up and about early, getting the children ready for school.
‘You’ve been a real help to me this morning, Sarah,’ she said, as she finished clearing away the breakfast crockery.
Sarah’s smile was tinged with sadness as she carefully stacked plates in the dishwasher. ‘I do this for my mum every morning so that we can be ready on time. No matter how organised we are, we still end up rushing around at the last minute because Jacob always forgets something, or he discovers that he’s lost his school-bag or whatever. Last time he started hunting for something to talk about at show-and-tell time at school.’
‘That’s boys for you…’ Abby said with a smile. ‘Which reminds me…where is he? I sent him to fetch his bits and pieces ten minutes ago.’
‘He’s showing Uncle Matt his robot. I told him he wasn’t supposed to wake him because he was very tired, but he said he was going to creep into the room just to see if he was awake. And then I heard them talking.’
Jacob came bounding into the kitchen. ‘Uncle Matt was already up,’ he said. ‘He thinks my robot is the best ever. He said so.’
Matt followed the boy into the room. ‘We have just five minutes to get all your things into the car,’ he said. ‘Jump to it.’
Abby looked at him and blinked. He was immaculately dressed in a dark grey suit, and his jacket was open to reveal a fresh white shirt underneath. ‘I thought you were going to have a lie-in?’
He shook his head. ‘No, I’m ready to go. Is there any toast left, or has it all been scoffed?’
She pointed to a plate on the worktop. ‘That’s going spare.’
‘Good. I’ll eat it on the move.’ He grabbed a slice and bit into it. ‘I’ll drop the children off at school and see you at work in a while.’
‘OK.’
A couple of minutes later Matt and the children piled out of the house and silence descended. Abby stared about her at the empty kitchen. It felt as though all the warmth had gone out of her life.
She arrived at the hospital a short time later, in time to see Helen going through the list of patients with the triage nurse.
‘Ah, there you are,’ Helen said, looking up and throwing her a quick smile. ‘We’ve a boy coming in, five years old, with a rash and abdominal and joint pains. He’s been vomiting. The family doctor called for an ambulance to bring him in.’
‘Let’s clear treatment room one for him, then. I’ll take him and call for assistance as necessary.’
Helen nodded. ‘I think the cameras will be following you around with that one. Martin and the producer have already had their heads together over which cases to cover.’
Abby winced. ‘Tell me they’re not going to be here for much longer.’
Helen grinned. ‘I would, but I’d probably be lying.’ She handed the list back to the nurse and came over to where Abby was going through a pile of test results at the desk. ‘How did things go over the weekend? You said you were going to be looking after Matt’s niece and nephew, didn’t you? Did you cope all right?’
‘Yes, it all went very well, considering that I’m not really used to having children around me at home. They’re lovely, and very individual in their outlooks. I think they had a good time. I know I liked having them with me.’
Helen gave her a glance from under her lashes. ‘You sound a littl
e wistful. Has it made you feel broody, having them stay with you?’
Abby thought back to the evenings when she had tucked them into bed. There had been something about seeing the children snuggle down under the covers that had touched her heart, and a special moment when she’d looked in on them and saw them fast asleep, their lashes dusting their soft cheeks.
‘I think it has,’ Abby admitted. ‘They can be so full of fun, or quiet and thoughtful, and I feel I’m missing out on so much. I just don’t know whether it’s something I’ll ever be able to experience on a personal level.’
Helen frowned. ‘Because of what happened to you when you were attacked?’
Abby nodded. ‘It’s always been there at the back of my mind ever since they told me at the hospital that I might have problems conceiving. The scar tissue could have messed things up.’
‘Did you never get yourself checked out properly?’
‘No. I think I’ve been afraid to, in case they confirm my suspicions once and for all. Anyway, it isn’t going to be relevant in the immediate future.’
‘Even so, it must be like a cloud hanging over you the whole time. Perhaps if you went for a scan they would be able to tell you if things have changed and the scar tissue has broken down, or whether there are new surgical techniques that might help to put things right. If it was me, I don’t think I would be able to live with the uncertainty for long.’
‘You’re probably right.’ Abby was still doubtful. Could she handle a definite negative answer?
‘I could make the appointment for you, if you like. I know the woman who does the scans, and I’m sure she’ll find time to fit you in as you’re already on the premises.’
‘Well, I suppose so…but I’m not sure if I really want to know one way or the other.’ How would she feel if it was bad news? Would there be any future for her in any relationship if she couldn’t have children?
Did Matt want children? An image of a little boy with black hair and an open smile that was essentially Matt’s came into her mind, followed by that of a sweet-faced girl with dark hair and blue eyes. A rush of heat ran through her. How far she had come in these last few weeks, to go from not wanting to get involved with any man to thinking in terms of being with Matt for the rest of her life?
Was she losing all sense of reality? He didn’t go in for long-term relationships, did he? And he wasn’t giving her any indication that he wanted anything more from her than a brief dalliance.
‘I’ll make the appointment anyway,’ Helen said, cutting into her thoughts, ‘otherwise you’ll go on dithering about it for evermore. Trust me, it’s the right thing to do.’
Abby might have argued further, except that the nurse came to tell her that her patient had arrived, and she hurried away to the treatment room to assess the little boy.
Matt was just coming into the unit from the triage desk, and she caught a glimpse of his preoccupied, taut expression before he realised that she was walking towards him.
His features lightened. ‘Do you need some help?’ he said, coming to join her. ‘Sam’s busy with another patient, but I’m free just now. I’m waiting for a trauma patient who’s on his way in.’
She nodded to him. ‘Thanks. You could take the lead, perhaps, while I talk to the parents. Are you sure you’re all right to work?’
‘I’m fine.’
They went into the treatment room and Abby could see right away that the boy was in a sorry state. He was tearful and irritated by the rash, which had spread over his legs, arms, lower back and face. It was also on his buttocks, she discovered.
She nodded to the parents who were waiting by the bedside, looking distressed and apprehensive. As the rash was a purplish colour, she could understand their concern.
The camera crew appeared and homed in on Matt as he went to talk to the boy. He looked up at the camera rig and seemed surprised to see that the lens was focused on him.
Abby gave him a mischievous smile, and as he glanced at her she mouthed, ‘Your turn.’ Under her breath, she said, ‘Now you know how it feels to be on show when you’re actually trying to work with patients.’
He gave a rueful grin and went to examine the five-year-old.
The child took no notice of the crew at all and she guessed he was too ill to care.
‘Hello, Jack,’ Matt said, going to the boy’s bedside and giving him a cheerful smile. ‘I’m Matt, and this is Abby. We’re both doctors, and we’ve come to have a look at you so that we can help you to feel better. Can you tell me where you’re hurting?’
‘It hurts when I walk,’ Jack said. ‘My knees are all swelled up.’
‘May I have a look?’ Jack nodded, and Matt examined him carefully. ‘Yes, I can see they are,’ he murmured, gently testing the movement of his limbs. ‘Your ankles are puffy as well, aren’t they?’
Jack nodded miserably. ‘And my tummy hurts.’
Matt nodded, showing the child that he understood. He was gentle with the boy, Abby thought, and seemed to have empathy with him so that the child was happy to have Matt looking after him.
She cast a glance over the admission notes. ‘He’s had a recent streptococcal infection,’ she murmured, ‘but there’s no history of any other problems. The GP gave him an injection of antibiotics before he sent him here.’
‘Good.’ Matt turned back to the boy. ‘We’ll have to do something to stop all this, won’t we?’ He gave him a sympathetic glance and lightly patted his hand before going to talk to the nurse.
‘We’ll do a full blood count, urea and electrolytes,’ he said, ‘and we need to do an analysis of his urine. I’ll write out the forms.’
Abby went to talk to the parents.
‘Does he have meningitis?’ The child’s mother was trying to keep her anxiety hidden from the boy, but she was very stressed. ‘That was why the doctor gave him an injection of antibiotics, wasn’t it?’
‘That’s right. He did it to make sure that we’ve taken action from the earliest possible moment. We’ll continue with the antibiotics here, as a precaution, but I’m not convinced that it’s meningitis we’re dealing with. From the look of things he’s suffering from an allergic reaction caused by the throat infection he had recently. He’s feeling very poorly at the moment, because it’s brought about an inflammatory reaction, leaving him with a type of arthritis in his joints.’
The boy’s father sucked in his breath. ‘Arthritis? Will it be permanent? He’s too young for that, isn’t he?’
‘Hopefully, we’ll be able to treat the original infection that caused the problem, and as long as he gets plenty of bed rest he should start to recover and lead a normal life. At the moment we’re more concerned about the effect all this is having on his kidneys, so once we have the test results back we’ll probably start him on steroids and immunosuppressive therapy. We do see a few children of his age who come in with this type of reaction.’
The cameraman swivelled the lens towards the little boy and after a minute or two drew back again. Matt did a piece to camera about the type of illness and how long it would be before the child was up and about again.
‘The disease is usually self-limiting, so we would hope that he might be back to his usual self after a few weeks. It really depends on whether or not there are any complications.’
Matt went on to explain how the treatment would help to get Jack back on his feet, and he talked about how to tell the difference between different types of rashes. Abby could see how his words would offer comfort to any other parents who were going through the same anxieties and give them practical information to show them how to deal with a sick child. She frowned. Perhaps she had been wrong in making such a blanket condemnation of these programmes.
Matt left the room with her a little later when he had reassured Jack and his parents that the situation should improve before too long.
‘Poor little scrap. He looked wretched, didn’t he?’ He sent her a sideways glance.
‘He did, but I think you managed t
o cheer him up a bit.’ Her mouth made a crooked twist. ‘I never thought the day would come, but I have to say that you gave some good advice to people sitting at home. You took a lot of the mystery out of illness and that usually helps to put people’s minds at rest.’
He staggered backwards as though she had stunned him with her praise. ‘Am I hearing this right? Did you just say that TV medical shows can make for good viewing?’
Her mouth quirked. ‘Sort of. Actually, I thought you were pretty fantastic in front of the cameras. You were so natural, as though they weren’t there, and you seem to be able to create an instant rapport with the audience. I’m envious. I don’t think I would ever be confident in that situation. You make it look so easy.’
He put a hand to her forehead. ‘Are you sure you’re quite well? This is not like you at all.’
She batted his hand away with a flick of her fingers. She gave a wry smile. ‘Enough…You’re the one who ought to be having his brow felt. I don’t know what you’re doing here when you only managed a few hours’ sleep last night, and you must be worried sick about your sister and brother-in-law. I don’t know how you manage to fool everyone with that calm manner. I’ve seen your strained expression when you think no one’s looking.’
‘Being at work helps me to get through it.’ His expression was serious. ‘I’ve asked Kim to ring around the hospitals in the area near to where their boat was lost to see if anyone comes in over the next few days. I’m clinging to the hope that they might still turn up.’
She could feel the torment he was going through. Seeing his rigid features, she wanted to reach out and touch him and let him know that she was there to share his pain. If there was any way she could have taken it on herself, she would have.
Instead, she asked quietly, ‘Do you know roughly where the boat went missing?’
He nodded. ‘I went out there in a motor launch myself, so that I could follow the coastline and see what kind of territory they were dealing with. Some debris was found a day or so ago, floating up onto the shore. We think the boat was tossed onto rocks, and I wanted to see if they could have made it to dry land. Amy’s a good swimmer, and so is Tim, but it depends on whether they were hurt when the boat fell apart. They were both wearing life jackets, according to someone who saw them leave.’