They would be close enough, but it still wouldn’t be practical. He couldn’t afford the gas to make that drive regularly. His truck used way too much fuel and was not fun to drive in the city. He’d done it a couple of times and hated every minute of it. On the other hand, Clover’s new car would make the trip quickly and efficiently, but then what? It’s not like she could stay with him at his parents’ house. Even if they allowed it, he didn’t want her to ever be exposed to them so intimately.
Dinner together sometimes, sure. They behaved nicely in public with an audience. But an entire weekend? They would slip up and forget there was someone else there. He’d watched his dad throw his mom through a wall once. She’d laid there for a moment moaning, then gotten up and kicked her husband in the balls. The next day, they both walked with a limp. Jake didn’t want Clover to ever see something like that.
“Hey, why such a serious face? A second ago you were happy.” Clover cupped his face and kissed him gently.
“Just trying to figure things out.” He kissed her again because he loved her lips and she was always willing to let him. He wanted to take advantage of that while the opportunity existed. “Let’s change the subject. How’s work? Your boss being a jerk?”
Clover wrinkled her nose. “Why would you bring him up? He’s an ass.”
Jake tried to remain calm. She was right. He shouldn’t have brought him up. That man made him want to punch first, ask questions later. It was an instinctual response that he barely kept in check. He didn’t want to be like that ever. Especially not around Clover. “Has he tried anything else?”
Clover rearranged her body until she was facing the water again. “No. He just keeps giving me these looks. Like he’s thinking things that I don’t want to know about. He’s totally creepy.”
“Have you told your dad about it?”
“Why? It’s not the first creepy guy I’ve had to deal with. I can’t run to my daddy every time someone looks at me the wrong way.”
Clover’s casual dismissal upset Jake. How many times had she been on the receiving end of attention from men like Vince? It had happened often enough that she considered it commonplace. Was that what it was like to be beautiful, young, and female?
“I guess not.” It felt wrong to agree with her, like he should do more to protect her. Jake wanted to be her safe haven. He’d been able to watch over her when he was driving her to work. He could swim at the pool and make sure her boss saw him. He sent the silent message that he was there to keep her safe. However, since she’d gotten her new car, he hadn’t accompanied her to the pool. “But maybe I could start coming to work with you again.”
Clover stiffened. “I’m a big girl, Jake. I can take care of myself.”
“I know, I know.” He tried to keep his voice light. “But I like to swim. And the view at the pool is awesome. There’s this one lifeguard…super hot. You should see her.”
His plan worked. She relaxed and even laughed easily. “Feel free to come to the pool any time you want. It’s a public place, after all. But you don’t need to watch over me. I’ll be okay.”
She was right, he knew, but it didn’t change his instinct. When he spent her shift at the pool with her because he was her ride, that was practical. It saved him the expense of driving into town. Now, though, if he made a special trip just to sit and watch her work, it crossed the line from practical to obsessive. He didn’t want to be the insanely controlling boyfriend. He had to respect her wishes and trust what she said.
“Okay.” He kissed her to let her know that he understood.
Clover leaned back against him, her head against his chest, and turned until she could loop one arm around his neck. She pulled him deeper into the kiss and, as his tongue stroked against hers, he forgot all about her creepy boss and their dwindling time together. All that mattered was the soft brush of her lips against his and the way her hair felt as he cupped her head to draw her closer.
The words “I love you” slipped from his mouth without thought. It was the most natural thing in the world to say between kisses. Clover responded by pushing him to the ground and climbing on top of him. She pulled her shirt over her head and dove in to kiss him deeper than before.
So long as he could kiss her, everything would be all right.
Chapter 26
Four Years Ago
Clover logged on to her computer to check her email. She’d gotten her dorm assignment from the University of Washington yesterday. It included her roommate’s name and email address. She’d sent a message to introduce herself and hadn’t heard back before she left for work that afternoon. She clicked into her email. Nothing except junk. She deleted it and closed her MacBook down.
She had plenty of things she should be researching online, like where the best places to eat were around campus. Plus she really wanted to know more about her assigned professors. However, those things could wait. Right now all she wanted was to sit on the porch and read her book. In a few weeks, she wouldn’t have time for pleasure reading anymore.
She took her book and headed outside. The sun was bright enough for her to need her sunglasses, but it felt awesome on her skin. She lay on the long glider swing and relaxed into her book. She could hear R.J. playing on the side of the house. It sounded like Jake was with him, but she didn’t care enough to find out for sure.
Before she could get fully submerged in the writing, her cell phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number, but answered anyway. “Hello?”
“Clover? Is that your real name?” A voice Clover didn’t recognize asked her a question she’d heard too many times in her life.
“Who is this?”
“Oh, sorry. This is Lexy. Your new roommate.”
Clover let her irritation slip. She couldn’t afford to go through her freshman year living with someone she hated. “Yes, it’s really my name. Is Lexy yours?” She tried to sound playful, but it came out bitchy anyway.
Lexy laughed. “Lexy isn’t cool enough to fake. How’d you end up with Clover?”
“My mom liked it.” Clover knew the whole story about how her mom had craved clover honey all the way through her pregnancy and when she’d finally given birth, the only name her parents could think of was Clover. It had made it onto the birth certificate before they’d come to their collective senses. Thank God she hadn’t developed a taste for dill pickles. Clover she could pull off; Dill would have been a little harder.
“Well then I like your mom. Tell her mad props from me.”
“She’s dead.”
“Shit. I’m not doing this very well.” Lexy’s easy tone wavered for a moment and Clover felt sorry for her.
“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. How would you know?”
“Any other family things I should know? Help me keep my feet where they belong?”
Clover thought about Brandon, but she didn’t have any clear way to describe his place in their family. Technically, he was the farm manager. In reality, he was so much more. She just didn’t have a name for it, so she left it alone. “Nope, that’s the only interesting thing about me.”
“I doubt that.” Lexy laughed again. Just like that, she was happy and over it.
“What about you?”
“God, I’m the most boring girl in the world. I have a mom and a dad, an older brother, and a dog named Ranger. Pretty standard issue American dream stuff.”
The noise of her brother and Jake grew louder. Suddenly they rolled in a clump into the yard in front of her. Jake wasn’t having as easy of a time pinning R.J. as he used to, but he definitely had the upper hand. Jake looked at her under R.J.’s arm and smiled. The distraction cost him his advantage. R.J. grabbed his shoulder and flipped him onto his back. It was the first time she’d seen that happen.
“Hey, you still there?” Lexy called into the phone.
“What? Yeah, sorry. My brother and his friend are being loud. Just let me head inside.”
Jake rolled out from beneath R.J. and pinned him face down
on the grass. He jammed his knee into R.J.’s shoulder, and gave Clover a small wave as she entered the house. She didn’t have time to think about how sad he looked as Lexy launched into a endless list of questions about Clover’s life.
She waved back at Jake, then let the door shut between them.
Chapter 27
Present Day
“I love you.” Jake whispered the words against her lips like it was the most natural thing in the world, like he had no choice but to say them.
Clover’s stomach fluttered with excitement and anticipation. Her ex had never expressed anything more than an affection for orgasms. This felt so much better. She deepened the kiss, pushing against Jake until he was flat on his back. She straddled his waist, her skirt hiking up until it was bunched high around her thighs and he gripped her there, his hands stroking over the exposed skin and pushing the skirt even higher.
She stared into his eyes as she pulled her top up and off. She tried to move slowly, but she all she wanted was to feel his skin against hers. Despite all the complicated details, she knew they belonged together. She wanted to get so close to him that she could feel him from the inside out.
When she set her shirt next to them on the ground, she debated removing her bra too, but his eyes were huge and he looked a little frightened. She didn’t want to scare him. She just wanted to feel him. Instead, she worked through the small buttons on his shirt. It fell to the sides, exposing his bare chest.
She’d seen him naked from the waist up many times that summer, starting with the first day when he’d picked her up on the side of the road, but she never got used to the sight. His chest was smooth, his muscles well-defined and, as she traced over the surface with her fingers, she could feel him flex beneath her touch.
She pushed the shirt completely out of the way, then lowered herself slowly until she was lying chest to chest with Jake. Clover stared into his eyes and the closer she got to him, the wider his eyes got, until finally they slipped shut as she rested fully on top of him. He held her close with his palms flat against her back, his fingers spread wide. His touch was firm, yet gentle.
“God, Clover, you feel so…good.” The last word came out as a full-on moan.
The sound of his voice in her ear, needy and aching, combined with the press of his smooth naked chest against hers, was too much for her. She rolled her hips against him and his body bucked beneath her. His hands moved from her back to her hair and he worked his fingers into it, twisting and releasing in time with the motion of her body.
“Jake.” She whispered his name, desperate for more from him, but unable to name it.
He pulled her back until he was able to look into her eyes and kissed her, fast and sloppy and hard. Clover opened herself to him and let him take, his tongue thrusting inside her with a need so great that she could taste it on his lips.
“I want you so bad,” Jake panted into her mouth, no longer kissing, but holding her so close their lips were still pressed together.
Clover worked her hand between their bodies and reached down until she was able to cup him as he strained against the confines of his jeans. She rubbed the length of him and he groaned and thrust against her.
“Condoms?” The answer last time she’d asked had been no and, as far as she knew, he hadn’t been into town since. She’d gone to work a couple of times, but had been in such a rush to get back to Jake that she hadn’t taken the time to stop at the drugstore. She was an idiot.
“No,” he whimpered, but he didn’t stop thrusting his hips against her.
“I can still…” Clover worked his fly open and slipped her hand inside. God, she loved the feel of his cock in her hands, rigid and silky smooth all at the same time. She traced the surface with her fingertips, then wrapped her hand around the base and stroked the length of him.
“God.” With his hips still bucking against her, he grabbed her hand and forced her to still her motions. “You first.”
And then he rolled until she was on her back and looking up into his eyes. He kissed her once, fast and sweet, on the mouth, before working his way down her body. He kneeled between her legs and watched her reaction as he slipped his fingers beneath the lace of her panties and then eased them down her legs.
Clover held her breath as the cool night air touched her bare, exposed pussy. She was so wet, so turned on, that she might come just from the way Jake was looking at her, like he couldn’t quite believe she was there.
She waited as long as she could, which wasn’t really long at all, then begged, “Jake, please.”
He looked so uncertain, like he wanted so much, but was still afraid he’d do it wrong. She loved that he wanted to please her, yet didn’t know how to communicate that there was no wrong way for him to touch her. She was pretty sure that if it felt good for him, it would feel good for her, too.
Jake stared at her as she lay there, spread wide and panting for more, and swallowed hard. He brought his gaze to meet hers and said in the sweetest, most sincere voice she’d ever heard, “You’re so beautiful, Clover. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be with you like this.”
She wanted him to touch her, or let her touch him, so badly. It clouded her brain and made words impossible. Still, he sat and stared at her. When she couldn’t take the wait any longer, she slid her hand down her own body and didn’t stop until her fingers touched the wetness Jake had brought from her.
She spread herself open and, when she touched her clit, they both moaned. A jolt of energy burst through her at the light, casual brush of her fingers over her clit and she rolled her hips reflexively. Jake licked his lips and, as Clover began to rub tight circles over her clit, he removed his cock from his underwear completely.
He stroked his hand over his length as she slipped her fingers inside herself, then back out. She spread the moisture she gathered over her clit and longed to feel him inside of her. He was so close, right there and so fucking hard she could feel the heat pulsing off him, yet they still weren’t able to take that step because neither of them was willing to take the chance without a condom.
His body jerked and twitched and she knew he wouldn’t last much longer. She wanted, if at all possible, for them to come at the same time. Clover worked her clit faster and felt the familiar building pressure spread through her body. Her legs tensed and strained, as did her belly. She felt a hollow ache that only he could fill.
“Jake, I want to feel you inside of me. Please.” She said the words, but knew that they wouldn’t change anything. She could watch him come, but she wasn’t allowed to feel it this time.
His hand moved faster as she spoke, and she knew that, as badly as she wanted him to be inside of her, he wanted it just as much. He gripped the inside of her thigh with his free hand and held it so hard there would be bruises there tomorrow. She didn’t care. She wanted to feel more of him. She worked herself closer and closer, let her hips buck against her own hand, fucking the air while she wished for the weight of Jake’s body on top of her.
Finally, as she watched every muscle in his body draw tight and he stopped moving except for the hand around his cock, Clover let herself go. Her orgasm overtook her in waves and she convulsed on the hard ground. A small rock that she hadn’t noticed before dug into the skin of her low back. Jake arched his body hard and come shot from his cock, spurting over the ground and dripping onto her leg. His body slumped and he loosened his grip on her thigh.
His body rocked with each breath and she stretched until she could touch his hand with her own. “Are you okay?”
“This is not how I want things to be with you.” He didn’t look at her as he spoke.
She pushed herself up until she was sitting. With some careful maneuvering, she worked her skirt down so that she wasn’t sitting on the dirt with her bare ass, then she pulled him into a loose hug. “It’s okay.”
He shook his head fiercely. “No, Clover. You’re better than this. Rooting around in the dirt! You deserve so much more.”
She t
ook his face between her hands and kissed him as gently as she knew how. She wanted to do something to draw him out of whatever funk he’d wrapped himself up in. His eyes were the darkest blue she’d ever seen, so unlike his normal bright, teasing blue, and all she could see in there were storm clouds and disappointment. No one should ever feel like that after sex. Well, not sex, exactly, but they had shared an orgasm. They should be cuddling, riding the post-coital bliss. Instead, Jake looked moments away from a full-on meltdown.
“Shhhh,” she cooed at him. “All I want is you. That’s it. Nothing else matters.”
He calmed slightly, but didn’t look convinced. Clover kissed him again, a little more determined this time. Finally, she felt his body start to relax. When he spoke, his voice was so small she barely heard the words. “Are you sure?”
She looked into his eyes and willed him to see all the things in her that she wasn’t quite able to say yet. She wanted him to know that she was happier with him than she’d ever been, and that even though she wasn’t ready to let the words out, she loved him too, very much. That thought terrified her. Love, she’d always known, was the one thing that could throw her life into a tailspin. She liked her carefully orchestrated plans and placing one foot in front of the other. Deviations were scary.
With Jake, she felt all the things she’d never felt before and that made her feel exposed and vulnerable. Yet, she was willing to be that with him. She wanted him to be able to look at her and see the effect he had on her. She wanted him to know that she loved him without having to hear it.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
At her words, the storm in his eyes retreated, but didn’t disappear completely. He was so tense, trying so hard to make everything okay when really he didn’t have to try at all. No matter what, she belonged to him.
“Jake, I love every moment we have together. I love that you let me touch you. I love that you trust me enough to share what we just shared. It wasn’t dirty. It was beautiful.”
Clover Page 13