by Edie Baylis
“Aren’t you bothered? Thought you two were getting married not so long ago?” Debbie pushed.
Despite his pretence, Paul suddenly felt desolate. “We are.... We were.... I don’t know. I just don’t know....”
Well, Debbie knew. She’d followed Jane and Seth the night of the bloody phone box proposal - at a distance of course so they hadn’t noticed her. Not that they’d have noticed anyone. They hadn’t even got half way down the street before they’d diverted off down an alley.
Hanging back, she hadn’t meant to watch, but out of morbid curiosity she’d forced herself. In fact, she needed to see for herself - to hurt herself more than she already hurt. Sticking her head around the dingy alleyway mouth, she’d crept along and concealed herself behind a jutting wall.
It had been disgusting. They’d been rutting like animals. Jane’s legs were around Seth’s hips, her skirt up around her waist and a stiletto dangled off the end of her foot. His suit jacket was in a heap in a puddle and his shirt tore as her fingernails clawed his back. He’d slammed into her repeatedly, pulling her head back by her hair and biting her throat. He’d been groaning her name over and over as he’d fucked her hard. ‘Jane, Jane, JANE....’
Much to Debbie’s abject shame she’d got turned on. In fact, she’d got so horny she’d felt sick and didn’t know whether to be jealous or disappointed. She’d always imagined Seth to be a gentle lover, not the wild animal she’d witnessed, but either way, she hadn’t been able to take her eyes off them.
She’d eventually run from the alley with tears pouring down her face. Why couldn’t it have been her?
“I LOVE HER YOU KNOW... I still love her...” Paul’s voice broke the silence. “I can’t cope with it anymore.” A tear ran a furrow down his white face paint.
Realising Paul was staring, Debbie snapped back to reality. She knew she was drunk and should concentrate on what she was doing, but she couldn’t help herself. It was just too tempting to offload everything on someone and here was that someone. It was perfect.
Smiling, Debbie placed her hand over Paul’s. “I’m going to let you into a little secret....”
Over the next few hours Paul listened avidly as Debbie got steadily drunker and told him everything. He could hardly believe his ears when she admitted what she’d done, her obsession with Seth and her utter hatred for Jane. Apparently her plan was starting to come to fruition, but it was slow because despite the rumour mongering, Jane hadn’t risen to any of the bait.
Paul now knew for certain he wasn’t that mad, whatever anyone said. This one was definitely a lot madder.
Studying Debbie’s face, he realised it was her he’d seen in the doorway watching Jane dancing the other night and now it all made sense. She really was barking mad. He might have had a bit of a strange time lately, but he wasn’t stupid by any stretch of the imagination.
Trying to read Debbie’s manic eyes as her mouth jabbered at one hundred miles a second, Paul realised with a smug smile that if she was being straight about all of this then he could use it to his own advantage.
Getting up from his seat, he walked over to the bar to get some more drinks. Oh yes, this would sort it. This would definitely sort it.
“Thought you’d gone then,” Debbie slurred when Paul returned with two fresh pints.
Paul felt saner than he had done for a long time now the light at the end of the tunnel had finally become achievable. “I’m not going anywhere. Now, tell me the rest.”
Sitting quietly, he allowed Debbie to continue rambling. He’d come to a decision. He’d got nothing to lose. His life was going nowhere and something had to change. If that meant taking a risk, then so be it.
“Listen,” he said, getting Debbie’s attention and watching as she raised her bloodshot eyes to his. “I’ll help you.”
There was a confused pause. “What do you mean?”
A smile formed on Paul’s mouth as he reached for Debbie’s greasy hand. “Exactly what I said. I’ll tell Jane myself.”
Debbie’s slack mouth fell open as she attempted to focus on Paul’s painted face. Had she heard correctly? “You’d do that?”
“I will do that. There’ll be no more waiting then. It’ll either work or it won’t, but either way, something will happen. The worst case scenario is I’ll get killed or your plan will work. That means you get him and I get her....”
Raising her glass, Debbie pressed it towards Paul’s and smiled, happier than she’d been for ages. “Deal!”
SEVEN
THE SQUAT WAS PRETTY grim even by squat standards. The building stood precariously between two alleys at the back of the shops in a patch of wasteland littered with bottles, rubbish and shopping trolleys.
The window frames of the derelict cottage had rotted away and inside the walls were black with thick mould, aided by a constant supply of dripping water from the missing rafters and gaping holes leading to the sky. The door had been kicked down and replaced with a sheet of hardboard and the only lighting came from stumps of small white candles wedged in the walls between exposed lathe and plaster. Wax dripped to the floor forming strange wax stalagmites.
Jane’s mind rolled in waves of a thousand different colours and rushed down tunnels of black and gold, green and red, purple and white. Spirals like a slinky travelled along the edges of the tunnels, getting faster, faster and faster.
Open your eyes, open your eyes, she chanted silently, desperately trying to force her brain to work, but it was no good. Floating high above everything in space she had no body and looked down upon blackness. She was falling into a never ending, bottomless pit of nothingness and she tried to move and escape. Her eyelashes fluttered. Come on, move, move!
Realising there was someone lying on her as she disappeared into the floor Jane reeled back into a lucid moment. She felt kisses on her throat and hands working their way up her top, grasping and pulling.
She tried to remember what she’d taken, but decided the less she remembered, the better. She ran her hands down the back of whoever was lying on her. Nothing mattered any more. Programmed to respond. What else was there to do?
Hair tickled Jane’s shoulder and a mouth was on hers, stubble scraping her skin. Maybe she was dead?
People talked, coughed and shouted, but Jane had no idea who. Perhaps there was no one else there at all?
As someone began moving inside her, she automatically raised her hips. Whatever. Just get on with it. She could then take more of whatever she was on. Blot it out. Remove. Remove. Remove...
Oblivion was the sole intent. How it was achieved was irrelevant. She just needed it to work - then she’d feel nothing. Her eyes remained closed. It was so much easier that way.
A mouth came down on hers again and Jane touched someone’s hair, whilst another hand ran up her leg. Finally opening her eyes, she looked to her left seeing someone propped rigidly up against the wall like a cardboard cut-out. He was staring, his bulging eyes protruding out on stalks and his shaven head glistening with a film of sweat. A long trail of saliva hung from his mouth like a spider’s web.
Running her hand along rough splintered floorboards beneath her, a thick covering of dust stuck to Jane’s fingers and she wiped it in a fake caress down the back of the person moving on top of her. Finally focusing on Jenky, she scowled whilst casually wondering how she’d managed to end up with him again of all people.
There were others in the room, some wrapped in blankets fashioning pipes out of scraps of tin foil or trying to locate veins in their arms, ankles or groins. Others lay unconscious on the floor and the whole place stank of a hideous combination of unwashed bodies and shit.
Jane glanced at the sweat building up on Jenky’s face. Surely he wouldn’t last much longer? He couldn’t have had his usual fix of brown, otherwise there was no way he’d have been capable of this. She remembered what he’d been like when he was on heroin the second time she’d been stupid enough to go out with him. Out of all the places to go why had she come here?
After it had kicked off in the King’s Jane hadn’t cared where she’d gone. All she’d known was that she’d had to get out of there, away from the treacherous bastard she was in love with.
She bit her lip. It was all coming back now.
WHEN THE TEN BARRELS closed the other night, they’d gone down the King’s for a few more drinks and played pool. Seth had ripped a whole strip of felt off the table he’d been that drunk.
Jane shook her head. Don’t think about him.
She just couldn’t work out how that stalking bastard Paul had managed to get in for the lock-in, but much to her misfortune, he had. When she’d spotted him lurking in the women’s toilets she’d tried to walk out, but he’d grabbed her arm. He’d said he needed to warn her what Seth was really like before it was too late. He didn’t love her and not to be fooled.
Jane hadn’t believed Paul to start with, but when he’d continued it all started to tie up with months’ worth of unexplained comments. Stuff at work that had made no sense at the time had then slowly slotted into place.
As she’d thrown her guts up in the sink, Paul had held her hair out of the way. Despising that he was witnessing her pain, she’d locked herself into a cubicle, willing him to leave her alone. She’d needed to think, but he’d kept talking, talking, talking and repeating things she didn’t want to hear.
Paul had said what Seth had done to Debbie was well out of order and begged Jane not to marry him. He’d pleaded with her to believe him. After all, the bastard had been told of the pregnancy months ago and everyone knew about it.
It had been that bit that finally tipped the load. White-faced with rage Jane had shoved past Paul and slammed him into the door, not noticing the wide smile on his face.
Seth had been busy putting chalk on the tip of his cue when she’d stormed back in to the bar. Swinging him round by his arm, Jane had punched him square on the jaw.
Dropping the cue in shock Seth had tried to grab her, begging her to tell him what was going on, but she’d been deaf to everything. Continuing to smack him in the face, she’d snatched up the cue and whacked him across the side of the head again, again and again. His face had been a mask of hurt and confusion, but his expression had only made her more livid.
“Did you think you were going to get away with it?” Jane had screamed. “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?” Tears of anger coursed down her face, fuelling her rage.
Turning on Eliza and Lee who were frozen to the spot, Jane had then accused them of knowing and not telling her and when she’d thrown herself at Seth for the third time, he successfully grabbed her arms and shook her, his right eye swelling and beginning to close.
Blood ran from the cut on Seth’s lip as his eyes searched hers. “It’s bollocks, I swear baby. I never touched her. I never fucking touched her!”
Jane had struggled to free her arms, feeling like she was going to have a heart attack. “So you did know about it then you bastard!”
“Please Jane. It’s not true. The woman’s fucking mad!”
Raising her knee, she’d slammed it into Seth’s crotch and he’d crumpled forward, retching. She’d then driven her knee into his face before screaming at the spectators. “ALL YOU FUCKERS HAD A GOOD LOOK? YOU HAPPY NOW?”
Swiping a table full of drinks onto the floor as a parting shot, she’d run full pelt out of the front door into the night and didn’t stop until she could no longer hear Seth roaring her name.
It had been irrelevant where she’d gone. There had been only one thing on her mind - which was to seek total oblivion. She’d gone off with the first person she bumped into. Her life had been removed in one whack, but it didn’t matter now.
It was over. Done.
SETH LAY FACE DOWN in the single bed at Dodge’s house, struggling to come to terms with everything. He’d nowhere to live and worst of all, he’d lost Jane. For what? Fuck all.
Even thinking about it made him want to smash the place up, but he had to control himself somehow. Dodge’s missus had been good to him over the past couple of days, given the circumstances. She hadn’t had to take him in - she hardly knew him after all.
After the shit had hit the fan at the King’s he knew he’d gone completely berserk because he'd smashed the place to pieces. First, he’d looked for that fuck-head Paul, knowing he’d had something to do with it, but the weasely little shit had conveniently disappeared.
Seth scowled. He hadn’t finished with him by a long shot and would hunt the little cunt down and slowly rip him to shreds if it was the last thing he did.
Gritting his teeth he grimaced, confident he’d worn most of them down over the last couple of days from gnashing them. However, on the up side, his eye although nicely black, was no longer swollen. Fuck, that girl could pack a punch.
A smile erupted, before quickly disappearing. Christ, how the hell was he going to put this right? As for that piece of shit Debbie, she was a dead slag walking.
Having already done his homework, Seth knew where Debbie lived and he was going to throttle her. He’d never whacked a woman, but for that bitch he’d make an exception. After stamping on her ugly fucking head, he’d enjoy throwing her in the rubbish to be eaten by rats.
Anger seeped out of his pores like poison. He tipped half a bottle of whisky down his throat and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He’d burnt his bridges at the King’s Head alright, but that was just how it went sometimes.
Up-ending the pool table and most of the other tables he’d then moved behind the bar and smashed every optic like a madman. Benny, Tony and a couple of others had attempted to drag him into a corner, but he’d turned on them, punching Tony in the face and head-butted Benny. It was not good.
Storming down to the basement Seth had then trashed his and Jane’s room and repeatedly head-butted the door until he was half-conscious. The others had found him collapsed in a heap in the corner with tears rolling down his face.
He’d offered no resistance when he’d been roughly thrown on to the street. He’d expected nothing less. Even though he’d apologized to Benny the next day, he hadn’t asked to come back and neither had it been offered.
For the last three days Seth had put scouts out to find Jane, but no one seemed to know where she was. Either that or someone knew and wasn’t talking.
Unscrewing the whisky, he ran his tongue over the cut on his lip, his head thumping. He’d have to put pressure on some people if this wasn’t rectified soon. Then he’d make sure the whole shit house went down in flames.
Then and only THEN would he kill that fat fucking slag.
EIGHT
SITTING ON HER SOFA, Debbie was more than pleased with the details Paul had recounted of the events at the King’s. It had been much better than she could have hoped for.
Apparently Jane had been distraught and royally lost the plot. Not only had she then disappeared and not been seen since, but it looked like she would lose her job as well.
Seth had been kicked out of the King’s, but he could come and live here with her. Debbie smiled. Waking up next to him in the morning was definitely something she wouldn’t be complaining about. She was confident she wouldn’t have to wait too long before he came to sort things out.
According to the woman downstairs, a tall bloke with long hair had banged on her door last night. It had to be him. She could have cursed herself for going down the shop to get more fags because if she’d waited another ten minutes, she wouldn’t have missed him. Still, he’d come round once therefore he’d do so again.
Debbie’s smile was so big it felt like it might split her face in two. She knew if she persevered long enough she’d win. And she had.
JANE GLANCED AROUND Mudflap’s poky bedsit as she lowered herself into the bath for a most welcome soak. Closing her eyes, she let the warm water lap around her body. She wasn’t confident Mudflap would keep schtum on her whereabouts, but she hadn’t had much option but to trust him as she needed her things.
Waking u
p in the squat this morning stiff as a board she’d scanned the room, glad Jenky was nowhere to be seen. Although there was daylight coming through the missing windows, she had no idea of the time, but guessed she should have probably been at work.
Jane frowned, unsure whether she’d attempt to go back to the factory anyway. That bitch Barbara would be having a field day. If she hadn’t already lost her job, it was only a matter of time and she’d no longer be able to let the old bag’s snide comments ride over her head. She’d have to silence the cow once and for all.
She should have guessed Debbie was Barbara’s niece. They were both fucking fat, ugly bastards, but one thing was for sure and that was she’d find the bitch and rip her fucking head clean off.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Jane looked down to where her engagement ring had been and pushed the unwelcome guilt for chucking it down a drain out of her mind. There was no time for regrets. She didn’t need the ring anymore.
Stupid, stupid bitch for letting your heart have a say, she seethed. All of this had proved Seth was like everyone else. But doing the dirty on her with that piece of shit of all people?
Jane had known it was time to leave the squat earlier when she’d rummaged in a man’s pocket who was lying opposite for a light. It had only been when she’d sparked her fag up had she noticed the stain seeping through his trousers. Throwing the lighter down in disgust she’d got up, only to take in his wide-open staring eyes and grey skin.
Not wishing to take on board she’d just attempted a conversation with and gone through the pockets of a dead body, she’d groaned. It had definitely been time to go. Picking up her bag and jacket, she’d stepped over the corpse, walked past the rest of the fucked up individuals and slipped out into the daylight.
With some difficulty Jane sat up in the bath and began soaping her body down. Hearing the door slam, her heart jumped into her mouth. Please don’t let this be Seth.