by Edie Baylis
“We’re losing her. Give me some power.”
The machine sprang to life, beeping loudly and Seth’s heart lurched as Jane’s top was ripped open, exposing her breasts. He grabbed the paramedic’s arm kneeling at the side of the stretcher. “DO SOMETHING!”
“Sir, calm down. That’s what we’re trying to do!” Yanking Seth’s arm away, the paramedic continued to line the flat plates of the defibrillator above Jane’s chest.
“CLEAR!”
There was a loud crack as the electric current rushed into Jane’s heart, her whole body jerking stiffly. The paramedics eyed the monitor, the line flat and the tone static. The dial was turned, raising the electrical charge further. “CLEAR!”
The machine continuing its unbroken whining.
“Come on, Jane! Fucking come on! Don’t you dare leave me!” Seth gulped in large mouthfuls of air to stop himself hyperventilating. “BRING HER BACK!”
“Sir! Please! Step back!”
Sitting down heavily on the stretcher opposite, Seth put his head in his hands. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered again as Jane lay grey and lifeless on the stretcher. Her makeup was smudged and her hair matted. He’d give anything to take her into his arms and bring her back to life.
He could no longer look as the defibrillator delivered another electric shock into Jane’s still body. His eyes darted around the interior of the ambulance parked out the back of the flats. Why weren’t they taking her to hospital? Why were they still sitting on the side of the fucking road?
What was he going to do? This was his fault. If he’d paid more attention she’d be alright, but now she was fucking dead. He’d always been able to sort things one way or another, but he couldn’t sort this out could he? The only thing he wanted and he could do fuck all.
Seth wiped the thick film of sweat off his forehead. Why the hell hadn’t he noticed?
Getting up halfway through the night, he’d been angry to find Jane lying in front of the portable gas fire on the bedroom floor. Picking her up, he’d thrown her roughly onto the bed in her soaking wet clothes and had thought no more about it. He hadn’t even taken any notice this morning when she was still flat out, he’d just stomped into the kitchen to find a drink.
Waiting impatiently for the kettle to boil, he’d glowered at the mess she’d left. Why couldn’t she bloody well tidy up?
As he’d scanned the empty bottles and blister packs of tablets on the work surface, a horrible sense of dread had run through him. Rifling through Jane’s handbag, Seth had found another empty bottle. Throwing them to one side he’d raced back into the bedroom and tried to shake her. Nothing.
He’d shouted Jane’s name to get a response, but there was still nothing. If she’d been breathing, it had been so shallow he couldn’t hear it. Trying not to panic he’d pulled on his jeans and raced bare-chested down the road to the phone box.
Finally the paramedics had rushed into the flat and worked on Jane unsuccessfully for what seemed like years and then they’d taken her by stretcher to the ambulance.
Snapped back into the here and now by the silent atmosphere, Seth looked frantically from one paramedic to the other. Why wasn’t anyone telling him what the fuck was going on? Was Jane dead? He had the right to know for fuck’s sake.
“WHAT’S GOING ON?” he roared, grabbing one of the paramedics.
“Shh!” the paramedic hissed, glaring at Seth. Angrily pulling his arm away he desperately tried to insert a line into a vein on Jane’s arm. “Her veins have collapsed,” he muttered, “I can’t get the needle in.”
Seth felt his mind racing, getting faster and faster like a roundabout. Fuck. FUCK!
Eventually getting the needle into a vein, the paramedic breathed an audible sigh of relief. He attached a drip bag and hooked it to a clip above and the monitor started beeping. “We’ve got a heartbeat.”
Seth slumped back on the seat, relief washing over him. Fresh tears spilled down his face as he pulled his cigarettes from his pocket. “She’s ok?”
The paramedic smiled grimly. “Not necessarily. We need to get her to hospital.”
“I’m coming with you,” Seth said quickly.
“I thought you might be,” he muttered. “Hey! You can’t smoke in here!”
Seth took the fag out of his mouth. His brain wasn’t working. “Sorry. Sorry.”
THERE WAS NO SIGN OF life from Jane the entire way to hospital and Seth perched at the side of the stretcher, refusing to let go of her hand. The machine monitoring her heart was keeping up a steady beeping, the green lines peaking and troughing on the monitor.
“You scared me, baby,” a weak smile played at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t be doing that again.”
The paramedic rolled his eyes. He was sick of people like this. Looking at the woman lying motionless in front of him, he grimaced. Pretty young thing as well. Wasting her life on drugs and all that sort of shit.
Glancing at the blood sample readings his eyes widened and he silently wondered how this one had managed to get through the night. “If I can take some details Sir?”
Seth gave the information as clearly as he could. His mind was that scrambled he struggled to remember what his own name was, let alone all of Jane’s details.
“Has she taken an overdose before Sir?”
Seth stared at him blankly. “She hasn’t taken an overdose. She must have just lost track of how many pills she’d taken.”
The paramedic raised his eyebrows and noticed the strong smell of alcohol emanating from the long-haired man. “She must have seriously lost track to have readings like this!”
Seth felt slightly irritated. Was this dick calling him a fucking liar? He tried to calm himself down. Punching the guy who’d just brought Jane back from the dead wouldn’t have been his finest moment.
“Listen, she wouldn’t have purposefully taken an overdose,” he kept his voice level. “We erm, sometimes take quite a few pills.”
The paramedic eyed Seth suspiciously and scribbled on the paperwork. Obviously a pair of druggies. The guy looked like he’d got a sandwich short of a picnic as it was.
“Next of kin?” he glanced back at Seth who looked up puzzled. “Jane’s next of kin Sir?”
“Well, it’s me isn’t it?”
“Your name Sir?” He was starting to lose patience with this bonehead.
“Wright. Seth Wright.”
JANE’S CONSCIOUSNESS flew down spiralled multi-coloured corridors of an undetermined shape and a loud thrumming noise ran in the background. She wanted to open her eyes, but couldn’t because they didn’t work. She could hear a voice which sounded like Seth’s and she felt hideous, but strangely calm. She was floating and it was quite nice, apart from her mouth felt it was stuffed full of wet, stringy cotton wool.
“We can’t do anything else Sir,” a voice said.
Whose voice was that? Jane thought. Who were they talking about? Probably someone who’d wandered into the flat during the night. She decided this was another good reason not to open her eyes so she didn’t have to look at the collection of drongos lying on the floor around her bed. Why couldn’t Seth lock the bloody door?
“But if you pumped her stomach?”
Seth, who are you talking to? Jane asked in her mind, having no energy to form words out loud. Her mind was a total and utter blank. Had she even been to sleep?
The flashes and sparks from the kaleidoscopic corridor continued and she wished they’d stop. It was starting to make her feel sick and something was squeezing her arm really hard. What the fuck was it?
“Like I said Sir, the pills have been in her system all night. There’s nothing to pump.”
“Blood pressure still sky high,” the nurse muttered.
Jane felt panic stirring. Something was wrong and she wished someone would let her into the conversation.
“It’s a case of seeing if her liver will cope, but the threat of failure will stay for some time. A few weeks, but especially over the next few days.”
; Jane had had enough. She didn’t know what the hell was going on, but intended to find out.
SETH WAS GLAD WHEN the doctors finally left them alone. Sitting back in the plastic chair, he fidgeted and wondered what to do with his legs.
Wedging one boot across his knee, he perched on the edge of the chair uncomfortably and wiped his face with his grubby T-shirt. He suspected he looked even worse than he felt.
The relief Jane was alive was replaced with a weird sense of anger at the thought that she should have died. He’d put her in bed and if she’d died, he’d have woken up next to her corpse. He didn’t give a shit about dead bodies, but he did if it was hers.
Feeling a strong urge to punch her, he instead angrily slammed his fist on the table next to the bed, feeling totally and utterly impotent. He needed a drink.
A nursed poked her head around the shiny blue plastic curtain surrounding Jane’s cubicle and smiled benevolently. “Everything ok?”
“Yeah,” Seth nodded, his face glowering with pent up rage and waited silently for her to leave. He listened as the nurse’s footsteps faded away on the tiled floor. “Jane,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “Why the fuck did you take so much shit?”
Jane listened to Seth muttering. Was he having a go at her? Couldn’t he at least wait until she’d properly woken up? She was far too tired to have an argument.
Twisting her body slightly, she wished she’d got a drink of something as her tongue appeared to be glued to the top of her mouth. What time was it? They’d have to get up soon surely? Christ! She must have put away a fair bit away last night to feel this rough!
Involuntarily Jane reached over, but could only feel metal. “Seth?”
“You’re awake then?” Stroking Jane’s face, Seth brushed her cheek with his lips. “Please don’t do that to me again.”
Jane was confused. What was she supposed to have done now? Finally finding the energy to force her eyes open, Seth slowly came into focus before she was blinded by the glaring light of fluorescent strip lights. What the fuck?
“You’re in hospital...”
An expression of shock flashed over Jane’s face and she attempted to sit bolt upright, stopping mid-way as a crushing pain seared though her skull. Raising her hand to her head, she stopped in her tracks. Hospital?
“You took too many pills.”
Jane frowned. Had she? She couldn’t remember what the hell she’d taken. She couldn’t remember anything.
“I thought you were going to die.”
Jane watched a single tear run down Seth’s cheek. “Don’t be silly,” she slurred, trying to make light of the situation. “I need a drink. Can you get me a can of something? Is there a machine around here?”
WITH A SOUR EXPRESSION on his face, Seth walked down the corridor towards Jane’s cubicle holding a can of Lilt. He hated vending machines at the best of times, but this one had been laughing at him. Not only had it been five corridors away but it had also filched his last twenty pence.
He’d resolved this by tipping it at a forty-five degree angle then dropping it heavily back to the floor where it had delivered the can, plus a bag of Minstrels and four quid in change.
Sighing loudly Seth pulled open the curtain and stepped inside. “Bloody machine, if...” Jane had gone. Oh, for God’s sake!
Turning on his heels, Seth rushed back out of the room. He’d got a fairly good idea where she’d disappeared to.
Jane snatched her arm away as Seth caught up with her. “Get off me!”
With gritted teeth he walked beside her. “Why didn’t you wait?”
“No time, no time...” Jane muttered, stumbling down the corridor.
“Miss Ellerton?” The doctor followed the two figures. “Miss Ellerton!”
Jane ignored the voice from behind. It sounded like it was underwater, echoing and bouncing off the walls. It was putting her off concentrating on staying upright and the sides of the corridor closed in like a fish-eye lens, making her feel sea-sick.
“MISS ELLERTON!”
Jane’s face contorted into a frown. Ignore him. Just ignore him... It couldn’t be much further before she was outside. Did she have a car here? Never mind, she’d just get a taxi.
She needed to leave and didn’t care how she achieved it. If she stopped she’d pass out, collapse or not be able to get going again and couldn’t risk any of those things happening.
Jane continued walking, her legs feeling more rubbery with each step.
SETH WATCHED JANE AS she stared vacantly out of the window from the back of the taxi. Her bare legs and feet were white with cold and her small leather skirt wasn’t doing much to keep out the weather.
He’d spoken to the quack himself, telling him Jane was discharging herself. Yes, he knew it wasn’t a good idea. Yes, he knew she could keel over at any time. Yes, he’d take responsibility for her and of course he’d bring her back the minute anything didn’t look right. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Seth rolled his eyes knowing he’d have no chance of getting Jane back in hospital.
Staring at the back of the taxi driver’s head he willed him to drive faster and placed his arm loosely around Jane’s shoulders. “Are you ok?”
There was a long pause as Jane’s brain caught up with Seth’s question. “Yeah, great.”
Seth clenched his jaw. She didn’t need to be fucking sarcastic.
“What time is it?”
“3.”
“3?” Jane turned to face Seth, her eyes bloodshot, the pupils dilated like saucers. She was still well gone. “We need to hurry up,” she slurred. “There’s a band on down the Barrels tonight that I want to see.”
FIFTY ONE
“WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD lay off things a bit,” Seth snapped, watching Jane top up her vodka.
Jane rolled her eyes. “Oh for God’s sake, it’s been two weeks. We were getting pissed the same day I got out of hospital remember?” Taking a swig she stared at him impassively. “On a different subject, I take it you’re letting Stuart get away with trying to fuck us over then?”
Seth grimaced. Jane had been nagging him about why he hadn’t done anything for weeks and he was sick of it. He knew he’d have to do something, but he’d had other things on his mind lately. Like her.
There were a few people he wanted to pay a visit and Stuart was most definitely one of them, but it would be on his terms, not Jane’s. Couldn’t she see it was bad enough having to accept people he’d thought were friends weren’t without her reminding him all the time?
Jane lit a cigarette. “Don’t you care that everyone’s mugging you off?”
Draining his can, Seth placed the empty tin loudly on the coffee table and looked at her, wishing she’d just shut up. Sick of being treated like a twat he raised his eyes to the ceiling and concentrated on a damp patch.
All those wankers Jane had shagged behind his back - like that fuck-head Jenky and that cock sucker Owen who’d thought he’d stood a chance. Coming in the chippy bold as brass with her on his arm. He’d only let that one go because he’d needed to sort things out with her.
Then there was that Clint prick and they were just the ones he knew about. Furthermore, he’d never believed there wasn’t something going on with that Shav cunt either. Seth grated his teeth. Not that he’d since him since but at least that fat fuck Debbie wasn’t around these days. As for Paul, well he’d got a score to settle with him too and he’d pull that one in soon. The hard truth was that none of them were mates.
In fact Seth didn’t actually think he’d even got any anymore. Dodge turning him over and Lee taking the fucking piss. That’s if what Jane said was true. He’d also more than clocked the way Digger looked at her and the things he’d said recently made him think that even he was trying to get him out of the way. Phil was probably waiting for his turn too.
Seth scowled. They all tried to make out it was his paranoia but he just wasn’t sure anymore and it was making him angrier and more resentful by the day. He cracked his knuckles
in frustration. He wanted to kill the fucking lot of them truth be known and as for Stuart...
“You don’t give a toss that cunt tried to kill us do you?” Jane’s voice rose. “Or that he started on me at that party.”
Seth’s eyes fixed straight ahead. Yes he did care. How many more times?
“Or what he said about the baby?”
Seth’s teeth clenched.
“At least Digger told him where to get off, unlike you!” Jane was pushing her luck and she knew it, but that wasn’t going to stop her. She was on a roll. “At least he’s a proper man!”
“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, JANE!” Seth roared, kicking the table over. He jumped to his feet. “I’ve told you I’ll deal with Stuart, but in MY time, NOT yours!”
Jane squared up to him. She’d get Stuart finished if it was the last thing she did. “If you’re not bothered you obviously don’t love me...”
Oh that was a cheap trick, Seth thought. If Jane didn’t know how much he loved her by now, she never would. Walking off into the kitchen he pulled another beer out of the fridge and cracked it open angrily.
“I’D BEST MAKE TRACKS,” Digger winked, bending down and kissing Jane on the cheek.
Seth felt a fission of uncertainty run through him. When Digger had turned up he’d been so jovial he’d questioned his own logic about his rising suspicions, but he’d managed to convince himself that it was his paranoia. At least in this case and he wanted it to stay that way.
After all, Digger had been a much-needed diversion by popping by on his way to an escort job and interrupting their escalating argument. His presence and easy-going humour had deflected their bad moods and stopped them griping at each other. Now, half-cut and wired, they hadn’t felt the need to revert to the original argument. At least not yet.
Seth shook Digger’s hand and laughed as he walked him to the front door. “Don’t know how you do it, mate!”
“Got to pay the bills ain’t I?” Digger grinned, jogging down the first set of steps. “See you later!”
Smiling to himself, Seth walked back into the lounge, pleased to see Jane was setting up a couple more lines on the table. As she hoovered up her third line, he flicked through their record collection looking for something to put on.