by Edie Baylis
Too busy scowling at the man’s leering face as he attempted to grope her for the second time, Jane didn’t notice Seth until he was in front of her.
Without uttering a word he pulled the man roughly onto the floor and head-butted him several times. People screamed as tables went flying and the man slumped to the floor.
Jane remained on the seat, horrified at the blood that had sprayed down her new dress. Why had he gone psycho tonight of all nights? This wasn’t how it was supposed to turn out.
Stepping down from the seat leaving Seth to continue raining punches down onto the man, she pushed her way angrily through the sea of bodies and broken glass, making her way to the door. She’d had enough.
Leaving the man to bleed, Seth turned on his heels and followed Jane. If she thought she was disappearing to start with someone else, she’d got rocks in her fucking head. “Finding someone else to grope?” he screamed in her ear and pulled her towards him.
Jane’s face contorted into a grimace and she made a futile attempt to shake her arm out of Seth’s grip. “Are you fucked up or something? What’s the matter with you?”
Seth dragged her out of the double doors and onto the landing. “Enjoying yourself were you? I knew I couldn’t trust you!”
People tried to pretend they weren’t listening as they shuffled past awkwardly. Seth glared at each one of them in turn, his eyes like daggers. He’d quite happily knock all of them out if they so much as even fucking looked at him.
Come on. Just look. Go on...
“What do you mean ‘enjoying myself’?” Jane spat, grabbing Seth’s shirt. “I was until you turned up!”
“You stupid cow!” Seth snapped the strap of Jane’s dress, exposing her breast. “Cover yourself up!”
“Having a good look?” he screamed in the face of the nearest person, blocking Jane when she tried to slap him.
Shaking with rage, Jane attempted once more to rip herself from his grip.
Hearing the commotion, Spooner ran down the stairs. “Come on you two.” He laid a hand on Seth’s shoulder and tried to smile. “Think maybe it’s time you guys called it a night.”
FIFTY SIX
BOOTING IN THE FRONT door of the flat, Seth panted like a rabid animal as he dragged Jane into the hallway. His head felt completely fucked and he couldn’t cope with any more. He should have stayed in. Should have made her stay in then none of this would have happened.
Finally shaking free Jane glared at him, her arm already showing the beginnings of purple finger-shaped bruising. Swaying slightly, she felt the sting of tears at the back of her eyes and wished she hadn’t drunk quite so much.
Snarling, Seth slammed his fist against the wall repeatedly, wanting to beat the hell out of everything. He sucked in air through his teeth and sneered at the blood pouring from his damaged hand.
He turned to Jane with a savage snarl on his face. “Why do I even think about trusting you? Why?”
Jane glared at him. The night was ruined. Totally and absolutely fucking ruined. Stamping into the lounge, her eyes were wild with anger as she grabbed the vodka bottle.
Following her, Seth smacked the bottle from her hand in one swipe. “You stupid bitch!” The bottle shattered as it exploded noisily into the wall, covering Jane in liquid and hundreds of tiny glass fragments.
Feeling like he was going to have a heart attack Seth tried to get his breath, his words coming out in staccato bursts. “Letting... people... grope... you... like... some... fucking... tart!”
Jane was sick of Seth’s accusations. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”
“What the hell do you expect? Wearing something like that?” Seth’s eyes were narrow slits.
Jane couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The dress was gorgeous and she’d worn it for him, the ungrateful bastard. Why the fuck did she bother? She’d just find someone that would appreciate her. But she didn’t want someone did she? She wanted him. It could only ever be him.
Seth sneered. “Not getting enough attention? Trying to get yourself raped again?” He wanted to hurt her. Wanted to make her suffer. He wanted to see her bleed to take away his anger.
“How dare you! How fucking dare you!”
Seth closed his eyes in desperation as Jane whacked him hard around the face.
She looked absolutely stunning, but that was the problem. It meant everyone wanted to take his place and he wasn’t having it. He was sick of people taking the piss and trying to step on his toes. Jane was his. HIS!
He wanted to tell her she looked beautiful and take her to bed. Tell her he loved her and that she was his life. He wanted to say that without her - he was nothing.
Knowing he was being way out of order, Seth willed himself to stop, but couldn’t now he’d started. He was too drunk. Too wired. Too angry. “You’re mine Jane, mine. Not anyone else’s. I’m sick of you taking liberties. I’ll kill you first.”
“Kill me then! Go on! At least I’d be away from you!” Jane screamed watching Seth pick up the whisky and take a long slug. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
“I’ve never had enough, Jane.” Seth leant on the back of the chair for support. “And nor have you.”
“What you going to do?” she laughed in his face. “Lock me in the flat again? Tie me down? Make me walk round with a fucking bag on my head so no fucker can look at me?”
Seth looked up slowly and turned his head towards her. Putting a cigarette between his lips, he raised his lighter which illuminated his face in the flickering flame. “If I have to, Jane. If I fucking have to, yes.”
“That’s what you think!”
“Where the fuck are you going?” Seth screamed, panic in his eyes when Jane walked towards the door. “You’re not leaving! You’re married to me!”
“Not for much longer.”
Springing up like a panther, Seth grabbed her. “What’s that supposed to mean? Who are you seeing behind my back? Who the fuck are you seeing?”
Saying nothing, Jane shook her arm free and opened the lounge door.
“I said, what’s that supposed to mean? Answer me NOW!” Seth roared at the top of his lungs, tight on her tail.
Jane glanced over her shoulder whilst she stormed to the bedroom. “I’m leaving you, Seth.” She was lying. What she really wanted was for him to kiss her and stop this shit.
“You’re going nowhere!” Seth screamed. “WHO THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN SEEING?”
In her haste, Jane walked into the bed and knocked it to one side. Wincing, she grabbed the hunting knife from the bedside cabinet and stumbled over to the other side of the room.
“What the hell are you doing?” Seth screamed, lurching into the room behind her. Catching his foot in a bag from under the bed, he threw it to one side angrily.
“What I should have done ages ago!” Jane raged, her temper blown.
Pulling her wedding dress off the hanger, she slashed through the suit carrier. She yanked the dress from its covering, no longer able to hold the tears in as she continued to drag the knife through the exquisite material.
Seth stared in horrified fascination when Jane threw the knife on the bed and glared at him, her eyes stony. “Look,” she smiled nastily. “No dress, no wedding...”
It took a few seconds for him to register exactly what she’d done. “You fucking crazy bitch!” he roared. “WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?”
Picking up the dress, he stared at the tattered fabric. It was absolutely beautiful, but it was completely ruined. They’d never get another one in time.
Jane wanted to stop crying, but she couldn’t stop the sobs from coming in torrents. “This is your fault!” Pushing Seth into the wall, she snatched the dress out of his hands. “You just don’t know when to stop do you? Get the fuck away from me!”
Seth wanted to punch her. His head felt like a pressure cooker. As she sat on the bed, clutching the ruined dress with her body wracked in heavy sobs, he glared at her and for once was totally speechless.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Jane sobbed standing up and impotently banging her fists against his chest. She had to get out, even if it was only for half an hour.
Grabbing the bag, Seth tipped the contents on the bed. “You’re not going anywhere!”
“Give that to me!” Jane screamed, watching as he slowly picked up the pregnancy test.
Moving it out of her reach, Seth pulled the used test from the box. “You’re pregnant?” His voice was little more than a whisper.
Jane heard his question, but couldn’t react. Her voice box felt paralysed as a fresh wave of tears poured down her face.
What did it matter? Everything was devastated and ruined. Her life was fucked, plus she’d trashed her beautiful dress.
Seth stared at her. He had to know. He just had to know. “Jane? Are you pregnant again?”
Seeing her slight nod, a wide smile spread over his face. He took a deep breath. It was all going to be alright. He could sort this. He’d stop this shit and go to the quacks or something. Get them to get rid of his anger.
He meant it this time.
Jane stared blankly at Seth. So he was going to play happy families again now was he? She tried to push the words out of her brain before they gained momentum, but before she could swallow them down, her anger forced them out.
Raising her chin defiantly, Jane looked straight into Seth’s eyes. “It might not be yours,” she shrugged, determined to hurt him as much as he’d hurt her.
Seth’s mouth hung open with shock like he’d just been slapped. He studied her face. “Are you serious?”
Jane paused, determined to get the maximum effect. “Deadly serious.”
Hurt plastered Seth’s face as he stared incredulously at the woman he was so in love with. She wouldn’t do this to him would she?
Frowning, he realised she would. Jane was more than capable of doing it on purpose purely to get him back for everything. “Be serious Jane,” his voice was calm and quiet, betraying the torrent of swirling emotions rushing through his mind. “Is the baby mine?”
Enjoying the devastation smeared across Seth’s handsome face, Jane laughed. “It might be, might not. Does it matter?”
Seth’s hurt was immediately replaced with rage. “DOES IT FUCKING MATTER?”
Jane faced him, her arms folded, the smirk on her face getting wider. He didn’t like it the other way around did he?
Springing forward and grabbing Jane by the shoulders, Seth shook her roughly, his eyes wild. “Tell me whose it is.” Spittle formed in the corners of his mouth, his breathing heavy and ragged. “TELL ME WHO THE FATHER IS!”
Throwing his hands off her shoulders, Jane shrugged dismissively. “It’s between you and a couple of others.” That would get him.
“WHAT?” A ringing noise clamoured inside Seth’s ears as he sank onto the bed and put his head in his hands feeling like he was going to throw up. He could take most things, but not this. “I’m going to kill you,” he muttered.
Jane stared at him for several minutes before picking the test off the bed. Placing it on the table she shrugged, no longer caring. She was too tired. “Whatever.” She slipped her stilettos off, her feet aching like mad.
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Seth muttered and reached under the bed.
Jane sighed, the anger diminishing. Fresh tears ran down her cheeks in a silent, hot wave. She couldn’t keep this shit up. She loved him too much. “I didn’t mean it. The baby’s yours, Seth.”
“I don’t believe you.” Seth wanted to believe her. Really wanted to, but didn’t know what he believed any more.
Jane shrugged again. He was the one who’d started this. It was his fault.
With wild eyes, Seth pulled the Beretta out. His hand trembled as he aimed at Jane’s chest. He knew there had been a reason he’d kept this gun under the bed and here it was.
Jane looked up only to stare down the barrel of the gun. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Sweating profusely, Seth wiped his forehead with his shirt sleeve, but kept the gun trained on Jane. If he couldn’t have her then no fucker would. There was no way he’d watch her have someone else’s kid. No. No. NO!
Jane was nonplussed until she heard him cock the gun. Fuck. He was going to fucking shoot her.
She had to stop this. “Don’t!” she yelled. Grabbing the knife off the bed she launched herself at him at the speed of light.
Seth watched in slow motion. He wanted to shoot her, but couldn’t. He loved her, even if he hated her half the time. Seeing a flash of steel he raised the gun above his head, but felt no pain when the knife sunk deep into his chest.
As the Beretta clattered noisily to the floor, Jane stared disjointedly at the handle of the blade embedded deep in Seth’s chest. A torrent of blood sprayed in her face, over her dress and in a high arc over the ceiling.
She pulled the blade free and thick red blood ran down over her wrists, drenching the front of Seth’s white shirt. She looked into his face as his hand moved slowly to his chest.
Shit. Shit! Oh shit!
“Jane...?” Seth whispered, gently touching her face.
A silent single tear slipped down Jane’s face as the man she loved beyond life itself crashed in slow motion to the floor, his big frame hitting the deck heavily.
JANE WAS UNSURE HOW long she’d been rooted to the spot. It felt like hours before she dropped to her knees.
The screaming inside her head got louder, whilst everything else got quieter. In fact, it was completely silent, apart from her rasping breathing and the clock ticking on the bedside table.
Oh come on. COME ON! Don’t do this... Don’t do this.
Praying silently to a God that didn’t exist, her brain picked up a breakneck pace and floods of emotions raced through her mind. How long had she been sitting here?
Dizziness washed over her in tidal waves as she brushed Seth’s long curls off his face, her tears splashing onto his pallid cheek.
The clock continued loudly ticking. Its noise seemed even louder than before. Thunder crashed inside her head and her stomach heaved.
Totally uncaring how much time had elapsed, Jane remained in the pool of blood, her knees pulled up to her chest and she stared vacantly at the pile of ruined material that had once been her wedding dress.
Although she didn’t want to leave, in the cold silence of the early dawn, she knew it was time to go.
From the start they’d promised each other they’d be with each other until the end of time. They’d always promised that, but it was too late.
It was the end of time and he’d already left.
FEELING LIKE AN AUTOMATON, Jane pulled herself to her knees. She couldn’t look at Seth again. It hurt too much.
Forcing herself to feel nothing, she pulled the bedroom door shut behind her and robotically walked up the hallway into the lounge, trying not to look at his coat thrown over the back of the sofa or his work boots on the floor.
She knew the empty lager cans on the table would taste of his mouth and she forced herself not to pick one up. Running her hand over the life growing in her belly, Jane paused and then took a deep breath.
She took a cigarette out of her bag and glanced uninterestedly at her bloodied hands. Picking up her keys she went through the front door and down the steps without looking back.
There was no point.
It was finished.
ESCAPING THE PAST
DOWNFALL SERIES #2
EDIE BAYLIS
First published in Great Britain in 2018 by Athame Press.
Paperback edition published in 2018 by Athame Press.
All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means without the p
rior written permission of the copyright owner, nor be otherwise circulated in any form or binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent publisher.
Copyright © Edie Baylis 2018
Black lung coat and your little crown
That's the crown that you get for falling down
Hey baby, let me look in your eyes
I see you standing in a weird red light
The pump and grind that I call my head
The suck milk nebula I use instead
The sweet cream clot and the sweet cream udder
The weird red light that pulls you under
Open my scar, let out my stars
Slut me open and suck my scars
Loaded - Hole
PROLOGUE
2000
MAGGIE JENNINGS SURREPTITIOUSLY slipped a Valium into her mouth and hoped no one had noticed. She glanced nervously around the brightly lit supermarket and tried to concentrate on the till in front of her. Had she given this woman her change or not?
Heart beating rapidly, her eyes flicked to the woman standing in front of her impatiently tapping her foot. Fumbling with the open drawer button she desperately focused on the screen, hoping it would give her some clue as to where she was with the transaction.
Finally working out what was going on, Maggie opened the till and clumsily grabbed the change for the customer. Smiling as much as possible, she took a deep breath whilst ignoring the expressions of the rest of the people in the long checkout queue. How long did she have left here? She needed a smoke of some description.
Deciding she’d pop down the Traveller’s Arms later when she’d finished, Maggie felt slightly more relaxed. At least she’d score in there and wouldn’t have to face her crappy flat completely straight. Besides, Ben might be there.
She’d had her eye on him for several months and although nothing had happened between them, she’d always been friendly and even, dare she say, flirty, so she was sure he must be interested. He was also seriously nice looking.