by Edie Baylis
Jane faltered. She could of course not say anything at all. Seth was back, he loved and wanted her still and she felt the same. They’d just been offered the job of a lifetime and she was risking potentially ruining all of that by what she was about to do.
Was she mad? Probably yes, but she also knew she had to tell him. He deserved to know and she needed to put her cards on the table.
Seth grabbed her hand. “So now you can tell me what’s going on. Either that, or forget about what’s bothering you so we can go straight to bed!”
The journey back to Jane’s flat had felt like it had taken a hundred years and Seth had been through a thousand and one situations as to what she wanted to discuss and he hadn’t liked any he’d come up with.
His elation over her admitting she wanted him had been replaced by dread, but whatever it was, he’d have to deal with it. “Come on Jane, spit it out!”
Jane took a deep breath. She had to tell him. If they were going to do this it had to be on a clean slate. “Who’s Sally?” She was deflecting and she knew it.
Seth looked up. “Sally? What the hell has she got to do with anything?”
“Well, you were living with her weren’t you, so it’s got quite a lot to do with everything. You made such a big deal over what was going on between me and Ben and then I discover you were shacked up with some woman!”
Seth sighed. “Oh Jane... She was just some stupid cow that wouldn’t take the hint. It made no difference to me. There’s been many. If I couldn’t have you it was irrelevant. They all meant nothing. Don’t tell me that you haven’t had others between your legs in my absence. Now will you just get to the point and stop looking for excuses please?”
Jane swallowed, silently admitting that was indeed what she was doing. Nodding, she topped up her glass and took a long gulp. “I had a baby...”
Seth’s face remained impassive, but his mind was rolling. He felt like he’d been physically slapped. He said nothing for several seconds whilst trying to digest the information.
He’d presumed he wasn’t going to like what she had to say, but hadn’t expected that! He’d wanted to be the one to give her children, not some other fucker.
“We can’t be together until you know everything,” Jane continued, raising her eyes to meet Seth’s and saw jealousy burning like fire.
Seth forced himself to nod slowly. ‘Ok, well... It’s not ideal, but I guess I’ll have to live with it. When did this happen and where’s the kid? Do you still have anything to do with the father?”
Jane stared at him, seeing the nerve in his neck twitching. “I didn’t have anything to do with the father for a long time until recently,” she said quietly.
Seth’s heart began to crash land. “So you’re telling me you can’t decide which of us you want? Is that it?”
“You don’t get it, do you?” Jane whispered.
“Get what? I think I’ve taken it pretty well to be honest Jane,” Seth snapped. “I think I’ve got the right to ask.”
“Yes you do, but you don’t understand,” Jane sighed.
“I expected you to have moved on at some point, Jane,” Seth sighed, trying to smile. “But if there’s someone else who you think you w...”
“She’s your daughter, Seth...” Jane interrupted.
Seth’s jaw dropped. Was he hearing things? “WHAT? What are you talking about?”
Jane blinked away the tears forming in her eyes. “That night. Remember the night it all hit the fan,” she said barely louder than a whisper. “Remember I told you that I w...”
Suddenly the penny dropped and Seth stood up quickly, reaching for Jane. “Fuck! Oh my God!” he smiled. “You had the baby? I presumed that you, I mean, I didn’t think...”
He stopped and frowned. “You said it wasn’t mine...” The horrible memory of that night and its accompanying desolation spread over him like it was yesterday.
Jane waved her hand away. “Of course it was yours. You know why I said that and you have no idea how much I wish I hadn’t,” she snapped, watching as a tear rolled down Seth’s cheek.
“Oh God Jane... A girl you say? What’s her name? Can I see her?” Seth looked around. “She’s obviously not here, so where is she?”
“Seth, wait,” Jane wrung her hands together. She needed to keep it together. “I called her Grace, but I haven’t got her...” A sob escaped from her mouth. “They took her from me in prison.”
It wasn’t difficult to remember what had happened. That whole period of her life was indelibly ingrained in her mind.
Jane had spent the first few lonely months of prison wracked with guilt and despair. Her growing belly had served as a constant reminder as to what she’d done and a painful punishment as to what could have been.
As her pregnancy had progressed it had been really hard. She’d been exhausted and she hadn’t slept for what seemed like months. Her mind had been spinning from all that had gone on and as the time had passed and she’d got bigger, the thin prison issue mattress had made rest impossible.
She’d got to the point where she hadn’t been capable of much else apart from burying her face into the hard pillow, trying to hide the torrent of tears that had been on an endless supply.
Jane could clearly recall all she’d been able to think about, apart from the constant volley of hard kicks from inside her, was Seth. Imagining his long curls in her fingers and his beard tickling her skin when he’d kissed her. His hips grinding between her thighs...
Two weeks after her due date she’d been the size of a house. Needing the toilet in the night, she’d used the metal ladder at the end of her bunk and with difficulty, rolled herself into a sitting position.
Waddling over to the toilet in the far corner of the cell, she’d attempted to lower herself on to it when excruciating pain had crunched through her belly. Desperately leaning against the cell wall, she’d tried to catch her breath when the biggest amount of water she’d ever seen had gushed with huge force from between her legs.
Even though she’d known he couldn’t hear her, she’d screamed non-stop for Seth as the contractions had wracked through her body thick and fast.
Handcuffed to the bed in the prison hospital unit, her daughter had finally ripped her way into the world after thirty hours and twenty stitches and Jane was hit with an all-consuming love that had even bypassed that which she’d felt for her child’s father.
She’d spend the first forty-eight hours after the birth in rapt amazement at the gorgeous creature they’d managed to produce until she’d collapsed in overwhelming despair, of which she hadn’t been able to pull herself from.
She couldn’t be in jail with a baby. She’d had years left to serve and her child had no father because she’d killed him. Their daughter would hate her.
Spiralling into darkness, Jane’s world span and she’d finally succumbed to the crashing horror of what her life had become. The guilt that she’d brought this child into such a mess was more hideous than she’d expected it to be.
Barricading herself into her cell, she’d physically attacked anyone who had tried to reason with her. What the fuck did they know? All those bastards with normal lives, normal husbands or wives - normal fucking everything.
Jane knew she hadn’t helped herself when she’d head-butted the nurse and refused to move from the bed even to allow anyone to change the baby’s nappy, but she hadn’t been able to bear anyone touching the perfect little creature she’d painfully and whole-heartedly given birth to.
Eventually, after a couple of days of trying the ‘softly-softly’ approach, the authorities had come to the conclusion they weren’t going to get anywhere with her and resorted to physical restraints and injections.
When Jane finally regained consciousness two days later, she was manacled to the bed and her daughter had gone. It was only then that she’d finally lost it.
Jane slowly realised she’d been sobbing openly whilst recounting what had happened. Her makeup was spread down her face in bla
ck streaks.
With hiccupping sobs, she shakily reached across and grabbing her glass, downed the vodka. Seth hadn’t said a word. He hated her. He was going to leave...
Seth was staring at her intently. He got up from his seat and walked over. “Jane,” he said sternly. “Look at me.”
Jane looked up into his face as he lifted her from her chair. Pulling her into his chest, he wrapped his arms around her. “We both caused this situation to happen with all the shit we did. Both of us and we’re going to get our daughter back,” Seth muttered. He raised her face to his. “Are you listening to me? I said we’re going to get her back.”
“How?” Jane cried, her dark eyes pools of pain.
“I don’t know yet or even if we can, but we’re going to have a damn fine try. Ok?”
Bringing his mouth down on hers, Seth kissed Jane gently. He wasn’t sure how he felt about what he’d learnt. He’d got a daughter somewhere who should be with them.
He felt his anger rising at the injustice of it all, but he’d got Jane back and with her at his side he could do anything.
“I love you, Jane and I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be doing everything I should have been doing the first time around. It’s going to work this time, I promise you.”
Picking Jane up his strong arms, Seth carried her towards the bedroom.
VENGEFUL PAYBACK
DOWNFALL SERIES #3
EDIE BAYLIS
First published in Great Britain in 2018 by Athame Press.
Paperback edition published in 2018 by Athame Press.
All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, nor be otherwise circulated in any form or binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent publisher.
Copyright © Edie Baylis 2018
I ran to a place in the open sea
Where I pledged my life to the sun
It was good for a while
I could laugh, I could smile
But when I woke up one day
The sun had gone
Blind Eye – Uriah Heep
PROLOGUE
2001
PROUDLY TAKING JANE'S HAND as the organ cranked up, Seth looked down at her and smiled. He hadn’t thought he would ever feel this happy, but today had proved him wrong.
His eyes ran over Jane as she smiled back at him, her hand squeezing his and he longed to kiss her. She looked perfect. The weather was perfect and his life was perfect.
As they made to walk back down the aisle through the packed church now they were finally legally man and wife, Seth felt his heart may explode into millions of tiny shimmering, floating pieces.
Jane looked beautiful in the empire-line white wedding gown she wore, her sparkling tiara sitting atop the high-piled curls of raven hair on her head, leaving several loose waves cascading over her breasts and down to her waist. The diamond necklace he had given her as a wedding present sat perfectly around her neck and caught the light reflecting through the large stained glass windows of the old church they’d chosen for the ceremony.
Seth just couldn’t keep the grin off his face. He knew he looked good in his made to measure frock coat ensemble and crisp high-collared dress shirt. The exact cut of the jacket emphasised his wide shoulders in comparison with his narrow waist, but however good he felt, he had nothing on Jane.
He glanced once more at the necklace shooting its prisms of refracted light off its many facets before his gaze roamed lower over Jane’s full breasts showcased to perfection in the low-cut sweetheart neckline of the dress. The band of large Swarovski crystals directly underneath her breasts which marked the empire cut of the gown accentuated the beautiful shape of her pregnancy under the soft flowing layers of satin and silk which gently cascaded over her large, but neat bump.
How he wanted to take her straight back to the honeymoon suite he’d booked in the country hotel and lock themselves away for ever, but he knew they had the reception to get through first. Plus he’d got the rest of his life to spend with her.
There were only two months before their child was due to be born and Seth was ecstatic. Jane had fallen pregnant within the very first week of them rekindling their relationship and although it had been a complete surprise, it had been a great one. Everything was so meant to be.
He knew she’d have preferred to marry in a tight corset-style wedding dress, but when they’d received the doubly good news that not only was Jane free from licence and no longer on any form of probation or police radar and then learnt the police were no longer looking for him in relation to old crimes either, he realised they could safely assume their real names at last. With all this in mind he hadn’t been willing to wait a moment longer to make Jane his once and for all and happily set about organising their church wedding for the second time – almost ten years since the first time he’d planned it.
On top of that after being handed the reins of the Glint club when Bill Benson retired, the business was going from strength to strength, even in the short time they’d been in charge, so things couldn’t have been much more perfect.
Standing at the entrance to the church being showered in confetti, Seth scooped Jane into his arms and gave her a long, passionate kiss, ignoring the myriad of flashbulbs going off around them.
He eyed Maggie standing in the crowd watching the proceedings carefully. He knew full well she wasn’t over the moon about their reunion and even less happy about their marriage, not trusting that he wouldn’t let Jane down. Seth smiled easily at her. She wasn’t a bad girl – she was merely looking out for her friend, but she’d realise in time, like everyone else, that he wasn’t going to repeat his mistakes this time around. Neither was Jane.
This time was for keeps and there would be no going back or breaking of promises. Ever. This time he would deliver.
“I love you Jane,” Seth murmured against Jane’s breathless lips.
“And I love you,” Jane replied, having realised there was no point in fighting her feelings any more. She stared up into the green eyes of the man she’d loved so fiercely for so very long and who had this time, so far, seemed to have stuck to every single thing he’d promised.
The only thing that could possibly have made her happiness complete would be to have had their daughter back from the system and standing next to them, but unfortunately that hadn’t happened and it didn’t look like it would but she hadn’t given up yet.
Seth traced his finger along Jane’s cheek and tilted her face back up to his. “Thank you for making me the happiest man on earth,” he murmured.
Jane pressed herself up against him, her bump meaning she couldn’t get as close to him as she’d have liked and smiled feeling a flurry of hard kicks from inside her.
ONE
2002
ANNA SLATER WAS NERVOUS. She’d been surprised to hear now Mandy was getting married she’d put her forward as her replacement. It wasn’t so much she doubted her own ability. After all, she’d got a glowing track record of nannying since leaving college, but she was young and usually only the older ones got put forward for high-profile clients like this. However it would be great to have Seth and Jane Wright on her CV.
It was all very well Mandy putting her forward, but it didn’t mean she’d actually be called for an interview, but being as she’d been personally recommended...
From what Mandy had said, the Wright’s home was amazing and if she got the job she’d be actually living there. She’d dreamt of a break like this. The only downside was that living close again would mean as well as her mother, her sister would expect to see her too. The last places she’d worked had been too far away to warrant regular visits.
Anna swallowed down her resentment. She’d been dumped with the burden of having to make it her life’s work to ensure she was the polar
opposite of her sister to help keep her mother sane.
They were a nice family, or at least, had been. It was Tina who had spoilt it. Ever since Anna could remember she’d ruined everything, using the death of their father as an excuse to spectacularly go off the rails.
She’d run away at thirteen and been hooked on all manner of things by fifteen. By the time she was sixteen, she’d buggered off for good and was working as a prostitute to fund her insatiable drug intake. Their mother had been beside herself waiting for that expected late-night call from the police to inform her that her eldest daughter was dead. It hadn’t happened, but Anna knew they’d all but been ostracised in their pleasant neighbourhood since her sister had made her choices.
Then when Tina had become so greedy for money she’d risked everything by keeping her boyfriend’s haul of imported heroin at her house. Unsurprisingly she’d got caught and surprise, surprise the boyfriend denied all involvement. Being as she was already known to the police for drugs and soliciting it hadn’t taken too much effort to ensure Tina had got sent down and their mother’s shame had been bottomless.
Anna had been determined to make up for her sister’s shortfall by being a model student, getting good qualifications at college and working tirelessly since. Thanks to this she was now armed with plenty of glowing references, but still forever felt like she was working Tina’s ever-increasing debt to the family off by softening her failings.
Anna had successfully orchestrated it so no one found out about her embarrassment of a sister, let alone be seen with her. How on earth could she be taken seriously if people knew she was related to a drug-addled ex-con whore?
Regardless of this, she still felt obliged to go and see Tina every so often, but it didn’t mean she had to like her did it? Still, she had no intention of telling her if this new assignment came off for the Wright’s. Not in a million years.