by Mary Grand
Juliet was a bit put out. ‘Would you like me to ring some people as well?’ she asked.
‘I’ve got it under control,’ said Cassie.
‘I could start getting a meal ready then,’ said Juliet.
‘There’s no need. People have started calling with food.’ Cassie pointed at a casserole dish. ‘It’s the way things work here,’ she added, as if Juliet was some stranger, unfamiliar with their ways.
The house phone rang and her mother answered it. Incongruously, Juliet heard her comforting someone on the other end.
Then the doorbell rang, but before Juliet could move, Cassie had put down the phone and gone to answer. She returned with a bunch of flowers. As she started to fill a vase with water, she said to Juliet, ‘You could go and talk to Mira; she’s on her own.’
‘Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help?’ asked Juliet.
Her mother glanced towards Cassie, and then said to Juliet, ‘No, love. We’re okay here.’
Feeling like a child being sent to play, Juliet left the kitchen through the patio door and went to find Mira who was sat with Lola.
Mira signed, ‘I thought I’d let Cassie and Mum have some time together.’
Juliet turned to Mira. ‘I offered to help, but Cassie has taken over.’
‘Maybe Cassie wants to play her part as the eldest sister for once.’
‘She’s never wanted to before; she always hid away in her music room when anything needed doing.’
Mira gave her a gentle smile. ‘I know, but Cassie is still very close to Mum. I used to think they had their own language, like me and you, except they communicated with looks instead of signs.’
Juliet shrugged. ‘Maybe you’re right.’
‘You must be tired after all the travelling. I am glad you were able to say goodbye to Dad.’
‘And me, although it felt a bit fraught.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, he said some weird things.’
‘He had a pretty long talk with Rhys. Rhys seemed stunned but he wouldn’t tell me what Dad had said. Have you any idea?’
Juliet paused. ‘No… I think he told Rhys a lot more than me.’ Then Juliet remembered something. ‘There was one thing that Dad said, it was something about a key? He said he’d given you one? He didn’t want anyone else to have it. Do you know what he meant?’
Mira frowned. ‘Oh, he gave me one on Monday, on his birthday. He was late home, and I was in the garden. He thrust this key into my hand and told me to hide it in your drawer in the workshop.’
‘What was the key for?’
‘It was an old car ignition key, I think. Anyway, I put it in your drawer.’
Juliet looked around at the workshop, a tatty wooden building with large windows that looked out onto the garden. ‘I feel like he should be in there now, working. All the hours we spent in there together, me drawing, him making some beautiful tray or box.’
Mira glanced at Juliet. ‘I don’t understand him drinking like that and then driving. He was never usually reckless. I keep going over the day of his birthday, trying to work out if I’d missed something, but he seemed normal. A bit quiet but that is all.’
Juliet put her hand on Mira’s arm. ‘None of this is your fault. I’m glad you were there for Dad when he was in hospital. I am sure you were a real comfort to him.’
‘I wanted to be there more, but Rhys thought I should keep to my other commitments, going into the care homes and things.’
Juliet looked up at the house. ‘Do you think Mum will sell the house, downsize?’
‘I hope not. I always dreamed of bringing my children here for tea and to play. I thought Rhys would feel the same but lately he’s started to talk about moving…’ Mira paused.
‘Rhys wants to leave? I thought he loved living on the island.’
‘He’s been talking a lot to his uncle who is working on some mission in Wales. You give up all your possessions and spend your days serving the poor and disadvantaged apparently.’
‘Wow. That sounds, um, radical.’
‘I know I shouldn’t say this, but it sounds a nightmare to me. Rhys says we are living too comfortably. I think he feels guilty because we have that money he inherited from his parents.’
‘He’s not going to give it away, is he?’
‘I don’t think he would do that.’
Juliet remembered her father’s words about Mira. ‘You have to look after yourself, not just everyone else.’
‘That’s what everyone says isn’t it.’ She lent down and stroked Lola. ‘At least I have her now, she gives me an excuse to escape. The vicarage is always so hectic with people calling in all the time. Rhys is up at the church a lot; he goes every Saturday night now, always at about half eleven and stays till about one. He calls it praying one day out and the next one in. He thinks it’s important preparation for a Sunday.’
‘Blimey, he wasn’t doing that before. I wouldn’t fancy being up there on my own at night either – it’s completely deserted.’
‘I don’t like him being up there at that time to be honest. I’ve heard of kids going up there, smoking and drinking – but he says this is what he feels God has called him to do. I don’t understand a lot of what he says about his beliefs to be honest.’ Mira gave a half-smile. ‘I can’t believe I hadn’t figured out that having a faith would be so important to being a vicar’s wife. Stupid, eh?’
‘But you share Rhys’s passion for caring, looking after people.’
‘I know, but it’s not enough, is it? Also, having the vicarage as a kind of open house twenty-four seven is driving me a bit mad. Rhys says we should always be available, which I understand, but it’s exhausting.’
‘Rhys should think about how tiring socialising can be for you. You need a break.’
Mira wrapped a long strand of hair tightly around her finger, something she would do when she was little.
Juliet was concerned for her. ‘Mira, you need to talk to Rhys, make changes.’
‘I know, but it’s not all his fault. I have made some pretty awful mistakes—’
‘No way.’
‘Oh yes.’
Juliet was surprised at how serious her sister looked. ‘Has something happened? You can tell me anything, you know that.’
‘No, not this. I have to sort this out in my own way.’
Juliet was worried about Mira but also hurt that she wouldn’t tell her; she felt a wall between them that had not been there when she’d left.
At that moment, Rosalind came out, tutted as the heels of her shoes dug into the lawn. ‘I don’t know what to do with myself. Cassie said not to put the TV on. She told me off for being on my phone. What the hell am I supposed to do?’
‘What about a walk to the beach?’ Juliet suggested.
‘Okay, I need to change though.’
‘I assume my car is over in the field?’ Juliet said to Mira. The field was next to the main car park at the beach and, as parking at the back of the house was so limited, the farmer had given them permission to park over there.
‘Oh yes. Thanks so much. We really appreciated having the use of it while you were away. I have my own now. Hang on, I brought the car keys for you.’
From her bag, Mira took out a small bunch of keys and handed them to Juliet.
Juliet looked down. She touched the smooth heart-shaped stone on the key ring, then held it to her nose, smelt the sea, memories, watching the sunset. She smiled. ‘Thanks.’
‘It’s got petrol in and Dad MOT’d it a month ago.’
They looked at each other, not daring to speak.
Juliet turned to Rosalind. ‘So, are you ready?’
‘I’ll go and put something better on my feet.’ Rosalind went back into the house.
‘Are you coming?’ Juliet asked Mira.
‘I would rather stay here. Could you take Lola with you, though? She’s not had a good run today.’
‘Of course. Hang on, I’ll go and get my handbag.’
‘You can let her off once you’re down the beach,’ said Mira. ‘Oh, and you’ll need poo bags.’
Juliet screwed up her face but smiled and put the bags with her car keys into her handbag. Rosalind returned in a whole new outfit; hair tied in a high ponytail, jeans, top, and smart flip-flops.
Rosalind gave a look of mock horror when she saw Juliet’s handbag. ‘You’ve still got that old bag? Tell me you have better ones in your case.’
‘Nope, still the one handbag.’
‘You take that when you go out?’
‘Yup. I bought a cheap one that looked posher, and it drove me mad. I kept having my phone and keys in the wrong place. I gave the cheap one to a charity shop and kept this. I like it. I have the zipped bit for keys. A pouch bit for my phone. The front pocket is for my diary. Inside, plenty of space for my purse, tissues, and all that. It’s perfect. I am a one-handbag woman.’ She smiled.
‘You must be the only one then.’
Juliet took Lola from Mira and left the garden with Rosalind. As they walked down the road, Juliet asked Rosalind how her job was going.
‘Good. I’ve been doing a lot of extra hours down in Cowes.’
‘I saw the crowds when I got off the Red Jet. Things are hotting up down there.’
‘They are, and mainlanders pay proper tips. They seemed surprised that I can do anything beyond a basic manicure. I guess they think we’ve just come out of caves. They look genuinely shocked when I tell them I have people that come regularly from the mainland to see me.’
Juliet smiled. ‘That’s brilliant.’
‘I need to get money together. I’m going to travel.’
‘You’re really planning to leave the island, leave Mum?’ Juliet wasn’t sure why the thought shocked her so much; they had all left at some point.
‘It’ll be good for me to get away. I never went to uni like the rest of you.’
‘No, of course not. What will you do? Go on a cruise liner or something?’
‘No, not that. The hours are crazy. I’ve spoken to some girls who’ve done it and they’ve had dreadful times. No. I want to go and work in some upmarket beauty salon or spa. I have a really good portfolio. Maybe I’ll go to Dubai or America, I’m not sure.’
They crossed the military road, walked through the car park where Juliet was surprised to see several campervans. Some looked settled in.
Rosalind nodded over at them. ‘They’re not meant to be here overnight. There’ve been a lot of complaints. It’s getting a bit druggy around here. Not sure I’d let my kids come down here at night like Mum and Dad always used to let us.’
‘The police ought to do something.’
The path down to the beach had always been rough and steep, but Juliet was surprised at how much it had deteriorated.
‘There were bad storms. The path is horrendous,’ said Rosalind. ‘I think they’ll have to do something, maybe even put in steps.’
Suddenly, Juliet’s feet slipped. ‘You’re right,’ she said, and laughed as her sister grabbed her hand.
‘Be careful, old lady,’ Rosalind joked.
‘Wow, this is worse than ever. I think I’ll let Lola off. I need my hands free.’
Lola ran straight down onto the beach, running, sniffing, but always with one eye on them.
The tide was far out, and so Juliet suggested they walked to the right, adding, ‘We can walk around the point to Compton if we feel like it.’
And so they started the walk. Despite the crowded car park, it wasn’t densely packed as most holiday beaches would be on a day like this. They both took off their sandals and flip flops. Juliet rolled up her jeans as they walked in the shallow waters where the sea met the land. Juliet felt her feet sink into the sand, leave their print as the cold water washed away the dirt and dust of her journey.
‘So, it sounded like you had a good time in China,’ said Rosalind. ‘But you were very vague when I asked you about men. There must have been someone.’ Before Juliet could answer, Rosalind grabbed her hand and scrutinised her nails. ‘I see you’ve not done anything to your hands or feet, I’ll give you a free manicure and pedicure now you’re back. Anyway, tell me everything, who did you meet?’
‘There wasn’t anyone.’
‘Come on, it’s got to be better over there than on the island.’
Juliet smiled and shrugged. ‘Honestly, there wasn’t anyone.’
‘I despair of you. You’re thirty. Tick tock and all that. So, have you come back to pick up where you left off with Gabriel? I think he’s still single. Someone in this family has to make a decent marriage.’
Juliet’s cheeks were burning as she leant down and picked up a shell. ‘You’re forgetting Mira is married to Rhys.’
‘We can’t forget that, can we?’
Juliet was surprised at the bitterness of Rosalind’s tone. ‘I thought you liked Rhys.’
‘I’ve gone off him. Honestly, he’s become a real pain. He’s always butting in, telling me how to live my life—’
‘I’m surprised you see much of him, it’s not like you go to church.’
‘Unfortunately, you can meet people in the strangest places,’ said Rosalind.
Juliet was about to ask Rosalind what she meant by that when she realised they’d reached the point where they could walk onto the next bay.
‘Shall we just go round the point?’ asked Juliet.
They clambered over a few rocks and then she saw it: miles of sand, the beautiful expanse of Compton Bay. Where Brook was snug, homely, Compton was wild and free.
‘Come on, let’s find the footprint,’ said Rosalind and suddenly they were children again.
They ran, and there it was, the fossil of a dinosaur footprint that had been there for the last 120 million years. Juliet ran her hands over its cold, bumpy surface; it still filled her with a sense of awe.
‘Amazing,’ she said, ‘it makes my two years away seem like nothing. I can still remember the first time Dad brought me here.’ She blinked the tears away and looked up at Rosalind. ‘Dad said the island never forgets. That’s good, isn’t it? It means it won’t forget Dad; it won’t forget any of us.’
Rosalind shrugged. ‘Although not all memories are good, there must be some things we’d rather it forgot.’
Juliet stood up, wiped the sand off her knees. ‘You’re right. I guess the trick is for some memories to be held more lightly than others.’
They started to walk back around the point to Brook.
Juliet looked at the cliff line. ‘I’ve only just noticed, it’s not just the path that’s been crumbling, the cliffs look very different.’ She smiled at Rosalind. ‘See, the island can change, it’s not just about the past.’
‘It seems so slow though; I want to see more, see different places,’ said Rosalind. ‘I don’t blame you going off travelling. Seeing the world, going somewhere people don’t know you.’
‘I admit it was fun, you know, at first, living anonymously in China. After being here where everyone knows what colour socks you’ve put on, no one knew me, no one asked me what I was doing. We all disappeared behind identical doors in this huge block of flats.’
‘I’d really like that.’
‘Yes, it was good for a bit, but I missed home in the end, I missed the island.’ Juliet held out her right arm. ‘It’s why I had this done.’
‘Shit!’ exclaimed Rosalind. ‘I can’t believe it!’
Juliet touched the small black island outline tattooed on her arm. ‘I had to give the tattooist a drawing of the island. Obviously she had no idea where the island was or even that it existed.’
‘I really like it. Has Mum seen it?’
‘Not yet.’ Juliet grinned. ‘She’s still taking in the hair.’
They were back on Brook beach when Rosalind surprised Juliet by asking, ‘Did
Dad say anything special to you when you spoke to him in the hospital?’
Juliet hesitated. ‘He said a few things. Did you get to speak to him on your own?’
She nodded. ‘He told me he loved me, and to be careful. I had this feeling there was something else he wanted to say. He kept looking at me but not speaking. I’ve felt it before, you know, that there is something that we are not being told, you must have noticed it.’
Juliet shook her head. ‘No, not really. But in the hospital Dad did talk about keeping secrets. He said there had been something he was going to tell you when you turned twenty-one, but something happened the day of his accident that made him change his mind.’
Rosalind swung around to face her. ‘Did he give you a hint as to what it might have been?’
‘No, nothing, but I know he had a long talk with Rhys; I have a feeling he might have told him more about it all.’
‘Oh God, of all the people to tell.’
‘I think Rhys is very concerned whether he should tell us or not.’
Juliet saw Rosalind clench her fists, give a tiny stamp of her right foot on the sand, gestures she’d seen her sister make since she was a toddler. ‘If it’s to do with me, I have a right to know.’
Juliet instinctively adopted a conciliatory tone. ‘I think it’s more complicated than that. Look, I know it’s frustrating, but we are going to have to let Rhys take his time on this.’ Juliet looked around, desperate to change the subject. ‘Anyway, you look even more glamorous than when I left. Is there someone new on the scene that you’ve not been telling me about?’
‘Not really.’
‘Come on, who’s the Prince Charming?’ Juliet gave her an encouraging smile, but Rosalind scowled.
‘I’m not a kid any more, Juliet. I’ve joined the real world now. No more princesses with love stories and happy endings. It’s sad that fairy tales are bullshit, but it’s the way it is.’
Juliet stared at her sister. There was a hardness in her voice reflected in her eyes.
Rosalind threw a pebble out to sea. It flew through the air, much further than Juliet could have imagined.