The Viscount in Her Bedroom

by Gayle Callen

  Gayle Callen

  THE VISCOUNT IN HER BEDROOM

  To my daughter, Michelle,

  just beginning to go off on your own,

  finding your way in the world.

  Dare to dream big

  and make those dreams come true.

  You make me so proud!

  Contents

  Prologue

  Simon, Lord Wade, was the most sought-after gentleman of Society,…

  Chapter 1

  The summons from the Dowager Viscountess Wade took Miss Louisa…

  Chapter 2

  Enfield Manor was a pretty little mansion in the country…

  Chapter 3

  Miss Wade escorted Louisa up to the second floor and…

  Chapter 4

  When Louisa awoke in the morning, the same frustrating thoughts…

  Chapter 5

  Simon knew she had not moved since he’d begun to…

  Chapter 6

  Simon was surprised by the alarm he heard in her…

  Chapter 7

  After eating dinner in his study, Lord Wade joined them…

  Chapter 8

  After an enjoyable afternoon shopping, Louisa was just sitting down…

  Chapter 9

  Simon rowed harder and harder. He could hear the slap…

  Chapter 10

  In the morning, all three ladies left for London, and…

  Chapter 11

  Louisa found herself shivering, although she was terribly warm. She…

  Chapter 12

  Simon listened to Georgie try to steer the conversation to…

  Chapter 13

  Simon shook with the effort of getting himself under control.

  Chapter 14

  Louisa bent her head over her embroidery and listened as…

  Chapter 15

  On the night of the ball, Simon and Leo waited…

  Chapter 16

  Louisa ran across the shadowed terrace, not stopping until she…

  Chapter 17

  The carriage ride home seemed twice as long to Louisa…

  Chapter 18

  The next morning, Louisa awoke feeling almost at peace, even…

  Chapter 19

  The village assembly was held in the public room above…

  Chapter 20

  Over the next several days, Mr. Reyburn called on Georgie regularly,…

  Chapter 21

  Simon could barely think, barely reason. He was buried in…

  Chapter 22

  The next afternoon, Louisa sat alone on the terrace, looking…

  Chapter 23

  That night, Louisa was glad to finally retreat to her…

  Chapter 24

  Twenty people gathered for dinner that evening. Louisa was grateful…

  Epilogue

  Louisa came into their bedroom and saw Simon in his usual…

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Other Books by Gayle Callen

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  Prologue

  London

  September 1844

  Simon, Lord Wade, was the most sought-after gentleman of Society, full of intelligent wit and sincere charm. Though young and handsome, he never neglected to converse with hard-of-hearing dowagers or dance with the plainest wallflower. Men found him such an easy companion, ready with a lightly humorous story or an opinion on a tricky investment, that they couldn’t even regret his success with the fairer sex. Simon, grateful to be so blessed, thought his life could only get better.

  Until he was thrown from his startled horse while riding through Hyde Park.

  When he awoke, safe in his own bed except for a badly sprained ankle, he thought everything would be fine. Then he began to suffer horrific headaches, but the doctor assured him that this was normal with the several blows he’d taken. Not only had his head hit a rock, the horse’s hoofs had clipped him on the other side, leaving welts and bruises. His younger brother Leo joked that it might be a while before he would be presentable to the public.

  But the headaches grew worse, and Simon’s sight deteriorated. The doctor’s reassurances became vague. Simon’s family insisted that his sight would be restored when the trauma to his head healed.

  But they were wrong. His sight faded until all he could see was gray darkness. Sometimes in very bright light, he could make out vague shapes. The only good thing was that the headaches had gone when his vision had.

  As he lay in bed day after day, unable to walk on his ankle, he almost wished to see only true blackness, instead of this unending dark gray that gave him false hope, made him think his world might someday brighten again. But it wasn’t going to, and he finally had to accept it.

  The carefree life he had known was over. As the months passed, he put away the recriminations, the useless self-pity. In the beginning he needed a cane as his ankle improved, and he discovered that it helped to walk with it even when he no longer limped. He could feel furniture in front of him before he ran into it. Whenever Leo escorted him, Leo tended to forget to keep him safe.

  Simon still had his work overseeing his many estates. He could be useful. His secretary and valet proved invaluable in his return to a somewhat normal schedule.

  On the other hand, his ability to socialize was permanently damaged. He couldn’t attend dinner parties—who would he let watch him eat? And dancing, something he had always enjoyed, was out of the question. He was no longer the recipient of dozens of invitations every day, though his true friends continued to encourage him without the pity so many of his dwindling acquaintances implied.

  Simon retreated from London, where the busy city life reminded him too much of what he would never have again. He didn’t want to go as far as the family seat of his viscountcy in Derbyshire, so he went to his grandmother’s home in Middlesex, ten miles outside London. His whole family—grandmother, mother, brother Leo, and sister Georgiana—was with him for a while as he adjusted, but he sensed a distance from his mother that he’d never felt before. Simon was trying to be his usual, pleasant self, but she didn’t respond as she used to, as if laughing at a blind man’s jokes was too cruel. It made everyone feel awkward, but he resigned himself to it.

  When his mother decided to go back to living her own life, Simon was relieved. He sensed her detachment, as if he was no longer of any use to her now that he didn’t attend social events. Leo came and went, not bothering to hide his discomfort with Simon’s condition, and Simon appreciated the honesty. Their sister, Georgiana, recovering from a disastrous first Season, was Simon’s devoted companion. She became his eyes when he dealt with tenants and businessmen, and the two made a good team. Though his mother had discouraged him from working, Simon was not about to languish on a chaise lounge in despair. He would live his life to the best of his abilities.

  His very quiet life.

  Chapter 1

  London

  1845

  The summons from the Dowager Viscountess Wade took Miss Louisa Shelby by surprise. She sat alone in the drawing room of Banstead House, her sister’s home, and perused the letter a second time. She had met the grand lady on several occasions, but after Louisa’s family had lost their fortune, their paths no longer crossed. Then six months ago, Louisa’s sister, Victoria, had married Viscount Thurlow, effectively restoring their family in the eyes of Society.

  But Louisa didn’t feel restored. She felt restless, even…bored by the parties and the life she’d once so loved.

  “Louisa?”

  Louisa looked up to see her sister Meriel, in London for her first visit since her marriage last autumn to Richard O’Neill. Louisa rose to her feet and hugged her sist
er, who stepped away, laughing.

  “I’ve been here for several days,” Meriel chided playfully. “You’ve hugged me at least once a day.”

  “I’ve just missed my sisters.” Louisa sat down on the sofa and patted the cushion beside her.

  Meriel joined her. “If I remember correctly, you always had more than enough friends to keep you occupied whenever I was studying or Victoria was immersed in her music. Surely that letter you’re holding contains another invitation.”

  Louisa could have hidden her dismay, but this was Meriel, who would pry until her curiosity was satisfied.

  “Lou? What is it?” Meriel frowned and put her hand on Louisa’s arm.

  Victoria suddenly sailed into the room, full of smiles and happiness. She was about to embark on her long-delayed honeymoon to the Continent.

  Before Victoria could even open her mouth, Meriel held up a hand. “Shh, Vic, I was just persuading Lou to talk.”

  Louisa laughed as Victoria sat down on the other side of her. “Ladies, there are other seats in the room.”

  “But none right beside you,” Meriel said firmly. “Lou just received a letter, and she doesn’t look happy.”

  “Who is it from?” Victoria asked, her face full of concern.

  Louisa regretted her transparent emotions. She wanted them both to enjoy their happiness, not worry about her. “Lady Wade—the dowager viscountess—has offered me the position of her companion. It seems that she is good friends with Lady Ralston, my previous employer, who apparently gave me high praise.”

  “Surely that’s not surprising,” Meriel said.

  “You are so good with people,” Victoria added.

  Louisa smiled distractedly. “But I left Lady Ralston so abruptly.”

  Victoria took her hand. “Surely she understood that once I married, you had a secure home and no longer needed employment.”

  “You know that wasn’t why I left, or I’d have been here much sooner.”

  Meriel frowned. “Then tell us why, Lou. You actually sound like you’re considering becoming a companion again when you don’t need to. Enough with the secrets.”

  “I didn’t mean to keep secret the reason I left Lady Ralston. It was just too…painful to discuss.”

  They sat on either side of her, holding her hands to give her support. They’d both gone through so much themselves these last months, from meeting their future husbands to finding love. Louisa hadn’t wanted to burden them. But confiding in her sisters had always soothed her soul.

  Meriel suddenly stood up. “There’s only one place we can discuss secrets. Willow Pond.”

  Louisa chuckled and made a show of reluctance as they pulled her to her feet. “Have you forgotten that our cousin owns our old town house now? And he doesn’t like us dropping by.”

  “He won’t even know we’re there,” Victoria said, marching toward the door. “I know where the old gate is in the garden wall. David very sweetly had the lock repaired so that I could visit the pond when I needed to think.”

  “You mean he had the lock removed,” Louisa said dryly. “I can’t believe your husband condones trespassing.” But she didn’t continue to protest. She was reminded too dearly of her childhood, when she and her sisters used to retreat to Willow Pond whenever their parents argued.

  Louisa followed her sisters out into the elaborate garden of Banstead House. In the silence, their footsteps crunched on the gravel path. No one spoke, as if they fancied themselves invisible. And then the spell was broken by a clatter of carriage wheels out on the street.

  The gate, partially hidden by a fall of ivy, opened soundlessly, and Victoria gave a triumphant grin over her shoulder. When the three of them stood side by side on their cousin’s property, their smiles faded and they watched the house carefully for signs of movement. Every window remained undisturbed, so they snuck down a path into the remotest corner of the garden, where the wall formed a corner and shrubbery hid them. Over it all was an ancient drooping willow tree, beneath whose draping branches they passed. Their bench was still there, standing guard over the pond, which was covered in a layer of stagnant green growth.

  Meriel used the edge of her cloak to wipe the dirt from the bench, and they all sat down, shoulder to shoulder.

  Meriel looked at Louisa. “Do you feel safe enough now to tell us what really happened when you were Lady Ralston’s companion?”

  Louisa nodded, but her hesitation must have been evident, because both her sisters took her hands in theirs and offered encouragement with their worried expressions.

  “I liked working for her,” Louisa began hesitantly. “It felt good to be needed, since she was confined to her sickbed and neglected by her family. I wrote letters for her, read to her, even sang when she simply wanted something soothing to drift off to.”

  “You once said she just needed you to listen to her talk,” Victoria said, smiling.

  “Yes, that’s true, but helping her gave me true joy. And then I assisted her granddaughter, who was frightened of her upcoming Season. I never truly realized that some girls don’t know how to behave amongst Society, and are afraid to talk to people.”

  “Now, Lou,” Victoria began.

  “I know what you’re going to say,” Louisa interrupted, “that I only had to look to you to see those traits. But I saw you as a woman who loved her music more than anything else, not someone ill at ease among people.”

  “Then I hid it well,” Victoria said dryly.

  “Or maybe back then I only understood myself, and couldn’t see anyone else’s fears.”

  “Why are you talking like this?” Meriel demanded. “You are the most sympathetic, compassionate woman I know.”

  In the dark of Louisa’s mind, she saw an image of her father, who’d always confided in her, had trusted her sympathy. And she hadn’t seen the truth until it was too late.

  Louisa sighed and pushed the terrible memories away. “But not compassionate enough to remain with Lady Ralston. You see, I did not know how to deal with the men of her family.”

  “You, not deal with men?” Meriel said, clearly baffled. “But men liked you above all of us. You can ride with the best of them, and if Father would have given his permission, you’d probably have had your own pack of hounds for the hunt.”

  Louisa gave a bitter smile. “But that was when I was respectable. I had heard whispered rumors that certain men behave differently with female servants than they do with ladies. I honestly never gave it a thought. I was so foolish.”

  Victoria was holding her hand so tightly it was almost painful.

  From the other side, Meriel spoke in a low, tight voice. “Did a man…hurt you?”

  She shook her head quickly. “Only my feelings. I resigned my position before things could become worse. Lady Ralston’s grandsons and nephews regularly approached with lascivious invitations, as if I would be glad to accept whatever they offered me. I learned to pretend shyness to keep away from them, and I even learned to disguise my features.”

  “I had to do that,” Meriel said grimly. “After my first employer’s wife became too jealous—for no reason, I might add! Before we married, I even thought my husband was a predatory man. Because of Father, I had begun to believe that all men lied to women, but it’s not true.”

  Louisa thought of the last time she’d seen her father, when she’d sat alone with him in his study one dark evening. He hadn’t wanted to talk, as he usually did. He’d only seemed distant and sad. And then the next night he’d killed himself, leaving his daughters and wife penniless. Victoria had been shocked and confused, Meriel angry and bitter, but Louisa had felt…sorry for Father. She still bore a terrible guilt that she should have seen his despair.

  But even that tragedy did not make her feel badly toward men. It took learning the vulnerability of being a companion to do that.

  “I still couldn’t trust Richard,” Meriel said with a sigh. “I was careful from then on, just like you, Lou.”

  “I guess I wasn’t c
areful enough,” Louisa continued. “They had a house party one weekend, and the men kept trying to corner me alone. Never before had I felt so lost—even the women looked on me with disapproval, as if the men’s behavior was my fault. I was hurt and humiliated, and I finally had to leave Lady Ralston’s employ.” She blinked back tears. “I feel like I abandoned her.”

  Victoria put her arm around Louisa’s shoulders and hugged her. “Don’t feel that way. You had to protect yourself. And now you’re staying here with me, where you can meet nice men and have a good life.”

  “Victoria, don’t take this the wrong way, but I thought I’d be happy here.” Her voice trailed off in a whisper.

  “You’re not?”

  At Victoria’s crushed expression, Louisa felt like the worst sister in the world. “Of course I’m happy!”

  “But you’re not, not really,” Meriel said thoughtfully. “I had thought I noticed something when I arrived, but I couldn’t quite understand what I was feeling.”

  “These strange feelings have nothing to do with you, Vic,” Louisa said, her voice earnest. “It’s me. I thought being back in London, with all my old friends, would solve my problems. But things didn’t go back to the way they used to be. When we became poor, the women I thought of as my friends deserted me.”

  “We all experienced that,” Meriel said, her face grim.

  “But I’ve introduced you to new people,” Victoria said.

  “Yes, and they’ve been wonderful. But I’ve been so…restless and distracted.”

  “And we’ve been too busy with our own lives to notice your distress,” Meriel said.

  “No, oh please don’t think that. I’ve been so happy for you both. It has been a relief for me to meet the two good men you married, to know that there really are heroes in the world.”