by Gayle Callen
When Manvil laughed, he tossed the paper back at him.
“So read it.”
Manvil cleared his throat. “‘Lord Wade, you’ll find your next clue at the left of the terrace balustrade.’ Oh, she’s made a rhyme.”
Simon snorted. “Is that all?”
“That’s all.”
While Manvil shaved him, Simon tried to rationalize his excitement—who wouldn’t want to spend a morning with Louisa Shelby? She was trying to help him, just as she was trying to help Georgie. But for some reason, he wasn’t bothered that he was her special project. Anything that kept him alone with her seemed a good thing.
He found the tethered rope she’d indicated in her note and followed it, feeling rather foolish because he had to walk hunched over. Every twenty feet or so he had to bend even farther to follow the taut rope down to another stake in the ground. But as he paid attention to the direction the rope was taking him, he was aware that he knew where he would end up. The stables.
He gripped the railing of the wooden enclosure, listening to the neighing of the horses and the calm voices of the grooms working patiently with them. He had thought he would feel annoyed or frustrated with having to follow a rope, but he felt only a touch of melancholia for how things used to be.
“You made it,” Louisa said from above him.
He turned, perplexed, and felt the nudge of a horse’s nose against his shoulder. She was riding.
For only a moment he remembered what had happened the last time he’d gone riding. But then he found himself stroking the horse’s nose, running his hands down the neck. The next thing he felt was the hem of a petticoat.
“No farther,” she said softly. “Call no attention to me—I’m not riding sidesaddle.”
“What a daring woman.” He thought of where his hands had almost roamed, and he was immediately aroused.
“I have a picnic meal,” she said, as if he needed more enticement.
“Shall I walk beside you?”
“I could lead your horse.”
He had vowed never to ride again—and she knew that. Yet here she was offering, as if she thought he should try. He imagined what the servants would think watching their master led around like a child. Of course he’d just followed a rope around the garden.
He even considered riding on the same horse with her, but that would set the rumors flying.
Not to mention what just the thought of her between his thighs as they rode was doing to his ability to think.
“This is Ladyflower,” Louisa said. “I’m assured that she is the most gentle mare in the stable. Would you like to ride her?”
“All right.” He said the words before he could change his mind.
She must have thought the same thing, because she dismounted quickly. “She’s all yours.”
“I should adjust the stirrups.”
She paused. “They’re already adjusted for you.”
“Ah, I see.”
She said nothing.
“All right, I don’t see,” he continued, smiling, “but I understand your prearranged plan.”
He found the stirrup and put his foot in, grasped the pommel, and mounted. The horse danced beneath him, and instinctively he calmed the animal. He was breathing too quickly, and he’d lost his sense of direction when Ladyflower had circled.
“Louisa?”
“I’m right here. Would you like me to take her head?”
“No, get a horse. I’ll wait.”
“I have a horse right here.”
He heard the creak of the leather saddle as she mounted. “So prepared,” he said dryly.
“I hope you don’t mind.”
“You seem to be having your way with me,” he said.
She made a choked sound.
He couldn’t help but smile. “I meant about the railings and riding a horse, but you can interpret my words any way you please.”
“You’ve taught me too well,” she said.
Not everything I’d like to teach you, he thought. But he was the one who’d made the decision to take their relationship no farther. As she took his reins, he didn’t ask where they were going. He tried to tell himself he was making the right choices, but it was difficult. If he had ridden with her, right now he would be feeling her backside between his thighs. He could have held her waist in his hands, reached around to the front of her and—
She didn’t deserve to be the object of his lustful thoughts. There was a truce between them, a friendship that was more than physical. And she’d been so hurt. Now when she worked with Georgie, he heard a hesitation in her voice that had never been there before. He wondered if she’d lost faith in herself and saw helping him as a way to recover it.
He didn’t care why she was with him; he would just enjoy it for as long as it lasted. He let himself move with the horse as he inhaled the scents of grass and flowers.
Before long, she said, “We’re at our perfect picnic place.”
“And where is that?” he asked.
“A hillside overlooking the manor. The green pasture seems to go on forever here.”
“I think I know the place.”
He dismounted slowly so that he wouldn’t misjudge the ground and fall on his face. Although he wanted to help her down, he didn’t trust himself to keep his hands from lingering.
She spread a blanket and guided him to it, then served him foods easily eaten by hand—fruit, chicken, and cheese. The lemonade was still cold, and he guzzled it until it ran down his chin. She just laughed and handed him a napkin.
This could not last, he told himself. She would be gone someday, and these would be memories that he cherished. He didn’t mind her constant need to help him; he liked being the focus of her energy, of her attention.
Always, there was her scent, teasing his senses. He lay on his side, head propped on his hand, content to be with her, to pretend that his life was as it used to be. The desire for her that was always with him simmered just beneath the surface. He tantalized himself imagining how he would spread her out on the blanket, the ways he would delve beneath her garments.
“Simon?”
He realized that she was calling his name—might even have said it more than once. Rolling onto his back, he flung an arm over his eyes and smiled. “Just wool gathering,” he said.
“So will you agree to allow the servants to build railings? Surely you can see how handy they would be.”
“They’d be in everyone’s way,” he said.
Louisa could not decipher Simon’s mood, though his words were thoughtful. He seemed lazy and content, now that he’d at least made himself ride again. Did he protest her plan just to argue with her?
“Everyone would get used to them,” she said, glad she didn’t have to pretend not to watch him. He looked big all stretched out on the blanket. His feet hung off, his elbow bumped a plate of chicken, but he didn’t move.
“I’ll think about it.”
She wanted to groan her frustration. She saw his mouth quirk up in laughter.
“All right, if you won’t discuss the railings, let’s discuss the village assembly this weekend.”
“More people watching us? I vote we don’t go.”
“I understand that,” she said softly, picking at a piece of grass between her fingers. “I don’t want to go either.”
“You know Keane won’t bother you again. I’ll make sure no one else does either.”
“You can’t always be my protector, Simon.” She only wished that. “And you can’t hide in the manor either.”
“So you think insults will work on me?”
“Georgie told me she wants to go. I think she’s braver than both of us.”
He grunted his answer.
She told him about her conversation with his sister. “But oh, I can’t repeat all of it.”
He sat up, leaning back on his hands. “Just say it.”
“Georgie said that although you may not want your own household, she does.”
&n
bsp; “I have my own home!” he said crossly.
“I told her that. And her response was that it’s a lonely bachelor home and that’s why you’re living with your grandmother.”
He frowned. “So much for shyness, and wanting to help me any way she can.”
“I think she is trying to help.”
“Like you are?”
Louisa looked away, not knowing what answer he wanted to hear.
In a soft voice, he said, “I’m getting used to people helping me, you know that.”
“Yes.”
“But that doesn’t mean it’s not difficult.”
“I know. You can return the favor and help your grandmother.”
He cocked his head. “Why am I suddenly suspicious?”
“She wants you to be happy, to be back in Society where you’ve always thrived. And she wants me to overcome these rumors.”
“You told her about them?” he said in obvious surprise.
“I hadn’t planned to, but she is such a dear lady, and she wants to make things better for me, as well as you. So we both need to go.”
“And how would this make her happier, since I’ve already accompanied her this week?”
“Because I think you should dance.” She let out her breath.
To her surprise, he didn’t answer right away.
“With you?” he finally asked.
She couldn’t look at him, had to concentrate on not betraying with her voice how good that sounded to her. “I was thinking with Georgie.”
“She steps on my feet.”
“You two could practice.”
“You and I don’t even need to practice.”
She closed her eyes, remembering being held in his arms, moving across the ballroom floor. She shivered.
“Unless you believe it will not look good for you to be dancing with your employer’s son,” he added.
“Or are you worried because of my reputation?” she shot back.
He grinned. “Then we’ll dance.”
Chapter 19
The village assembly was held in the public room above a prosperous tavern, and like any other dance, it was crowded and hot and loud. Louisa watched as Simon and Mr. Wade at first kept their sister with them as they conversed their way from group to group. Now that it was Simon’s second public event, more people approached to speak with him. And those tended to be his male friends, whom Georgie was then lucky enough to be introduced to.
When Lady Wade’s back was turned, Louisa retreated to the corner with the other companions and chaperones. She felt safe there, until one of the young girls beside her gave a gasp. “Lord Wade and his brother are coming right toward us!”
Another girl said, “Oh, Mr. Wade will dance with you, Emily. One of us will occupy the blind one for you.”
Feeling her muscles stiffen with anger, Louisa opened her mouth for a retort, but it was too late.
“Ah, Miss Shelby,” Mr. Wade said.
Though he saw her every day, she still felt that he seemed vaguely uneasy around her. Did the rumors about her bother him so much?
She curtsied to them both, and she saw Simon’s wide grin.
“And yes,” Mr. Wade said with a roll of his eyes, “she curtsied to a blind man.”
Several ladies gasped and tittered with laughter, while Louisa simply shook her head.
“Miss Shelby,” Simon said, bowing his head, “I believe you owe me this dance.”
Shocked silence followed this announcement, but Louisa stepped forward with rising excitement. She hadn’t thought he’d actually do it—they hadn’t even found time to practice during the week.
“You’re welcome to my brother,” Mr. Wade said, releasing Simon to Louisa, who took his arm. “I have more than enough partners to choose from right here.”
That distracted all the giggling, blushing wall-flowers, and Louisa was able to lead Simon away. She was impressed that Mr. Wade could be thoughtful.
“Well, he caused quite a stir with the girls who never get to dance,” Louisa said.
“And we’re not?”
“Shall I lie to you?”
He sighed. “No.”
“Now I know how it feels to be watched, and out of curiosity rather than approval.”
“We both used to receive a lot of approval,” he said softly.
She glanced at him. “And we miss it.”
“Sometimes.”
“Sometimes,” she agreed. “Shall we give them a reason to approve of us again?”
“And it’s as easy as a simple dance?” he asked.
He was smiling at her, but she didn’t know what he was truly thinking.
“I don’t know,” she answered. “But it will make me feel better to remember other times. Maybe for you, too.”
“My advice is not to live in the past,” he said firmly.
“Then let this be about our present.”
“And our future?”
When those words left his mouth, there was a sudden tension between them, part pleasure, part desire, and part uncertainty. She wasn’t sure what he meant, but when he turned and put his arms around her, every coherent thought fled her mind except one—it was too late; she’d fallen in love with him.
The most handsome, generous man in the room had asked her to waltz, had taken her into his strong arms and was about to sweep her to a reality of only their bodies moving in sync across the floor. Frozen, she stared up in wonder at him, shocked at her emotions, full of awe, but not yet ready to remind herself that he was not in love with her.
“Miss Shelby,” Simon whispered, “I believe you have to lead.”
She blushed, knowing she’d been standing still, caught up in the way he made her feel.
“And please make sure we don’t run a shy couple right off the floor,” he added.
“Then I’ll steer clear of your brother.”
Simon gave a bark of laughter. Heads turned, couples paused, and Louisa used that moment to begin the sweeping circles of the waltz. Simon’s smile faded as he concentrated, and she knew he couldn’t be very at ease, but his triumph was in the attempt. If only he’d see that.
She used the pressure of her hand in his to turn him, pushed against his shoulder, and once even pulled, but it was Mr. Wade they were avoiding.
“Your brother is deliberately getting in our way,” she said with amusement.
“He didn’t think I’d dance,” Simon said. “Even I can’t believe it. But I couldn’t stand to have you sitting in a corner, when you deserve to be in the center of the room.”
She blushed but couldn’t answer—her entire attention needed to be focused on keeping Simon from being humiliated. She was shocked to remember how her partners had easily kept up a conversation while waltzing about a crowded floor. Thank goodness only four other couples were dancing with them. Another twenty or so people were openly gawking.
When the dance finally ended and Simon released her, she sank into another curtsy and he bowed.
When she took his arm again, he leaned down and said, “You’re trembling. Is something wrong?”
“Only the stress of leading,” she lied. “I am filled with admiration for you men who have to do this all the time.”
“And there’s nothing else?”
She hesitated. “We are quite on display here. I hope—”
“Just stop right now,” he said firmly. “You’re going to spout nonsense about me suffering for having to be seen with you. If I ever discover who tarnished your reputation, I’ll destroy him with my bare hands.”
She warmed with pleasure.
“What about your suffering?” he continued. “I know I stepped on your toes twice. You have to put up with a blind man, for heaven’s sake.”
“But it was an honor,” she said softly.
His smile faded, and she found herself trapped in his awareness of her, enjoying being the center of this man’s attention.
“You know,” she said breathlessly, “I saw several mamas pointin
g you out to their daughters.” Did that sound as if she was trying to marry him off to someone else, she wondered? Or maybe the more she reminded him that he was an eligible mate, the more he might think of himself that way.
“Don’t even bother,” he said.
Simon wasn’t going to listen to her foolish words about other women or other dances. He was happy where he was. Wondering what Louisa was thinking was a pleasant obsession. She was treating him like a normal man, and it was a rare feeling these days. He had spent the past months telling himself that everyone else had changed, not him, that his life could go on as always.
But finally, here on the dance floor with the only woman he could dance with, he had to admit the truth to himself: he was different, he’d changed, and he didn’t know how to go back to the man he was before. If not for the many challenges Louisa had presented him over the past several weeks, he still would have been in his grandmother’s home, conducting his business in solitude, telling himself that everything was all right.
So where was he supposed to go from here? Blindness had changed him, but he was beginning to forge a new life. It was yet incomplete, as he lacked any clear understanding of his future. All he knew was that Louisa Shelby was important to him. He found himself torn between protecting her and pursuing her for his own selfish pleasure.
At this moment, he was living his life in the present, and that was all he could offer.
“I see Georgie with Mr. Reyburn,” Louisa said.
“You sound hesitant.”
“No, it’s just that she’s seemed…confused the last few days, and she hasn’t been able to tell me why. I’ve thought she and Mr. Reyburn had a special relationship, but now I’m not so sure.”
Simon found himself turning his head, as if he could gaze about the room looking for his sister. “What do you mean?”
“As she’s gained confidence in herself at these events, she’s lost confidence when she deals with Mr. Reyburn. Oh dear.”
Her voice had grown concerned.
“Louisa,” he began in a warning tone.
“I’m sorry. I can see the two of them together against a wall. Wait, someone got in my way.” She gave Simon a pull to the side. “Now I can see them better. Oh my, he’s lifting her hand. He kissed it!”