by Ann, Natalie
He sighed and hugged her close. “Look at you, Beth. Look around you. This place, even though it’s small, it’s a home. A great home that you created all by yourself for Zoe without any help. She’s well cared for, well fed—a happy child. No one would think anything other than how loved she is. And no one would have ever known you came from what you did, to what you are today.”
“I’m ashamed of where I came from,” she told him bluntly. “I can’t change that. But I can change where I am now. And I did, and I am. But I wanted you to know. I didn’t want you to find out another way and be embarrassed that you’re with someone who was the epitome of trailer trash.”
“Never. I’m not embarrassed, nor would I ever be. I’m both troubled and saddened to know you lived like that. I was proud of you before, for being on your own, and raising Zoe as well as you are. Now, knowing what I do about your past, I’m in complete awe of you. For what you made of yourself, for the life you are making for Zoe. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
Chocolate
Thinking back, Mac didn’t know what else he could have said to Beth when she confessed her childhood life to him. He couldn’t tell her that having money didn’t mean he had great childhood. Because it didn’t.
His mother never loved or cared for Brooke or him. His father was never home, and when he was, rarely paid attention to them. Not unless it was to make a public appearance, to fit the image of the perfect family that his mother worked so hard to maintain. All their meals, their clothes, their care, came from hired staff.
Although he didn’t think he had a good childhood by any sense of the imagination, he never went hungry, was never dirty, never lacked money or worried about electricity or filth. But the one thing he didn’t have any more than her, the one thing money couldn’t buy, was affection from his parents. Or even attention for that matter.
When he’d left Beth’s house last Saturday after their lengthy talk about her past, he thought he had broken through a wall with her, and he was happy about it. Not about her life, but that she trusted him enough to tell him.
Trust. He was trying to earn hers, and thought he was, even if it was just a glimmer.
He had talked on the phone with her daily this past week and they even managed to have dinner together twice, mid-week because she worked late on Monday and Tuesday, and he didn’t want to take away from her time with Zoe. It seemed like whenever he was in the room, Zoe had a hard time dividing her attention between the two of them. He didn’t want Beth to feel like she was taking second place in her daughter’s eyes.
She had seemed lighter this week, happier almost. Maybe she was relieved to get all those bad memories off her chest? Maybe she realized he wasn’t going to walk out on her because of it? Or maybe she was starting to believe in him? He could see where her faith in men would be nonexistent—and hoped to change that.
Now it was Saturday morning again, and Beth and Zoe were on their way over. He had high hopes for the day. Lucas and Brooke were having their second Fourth of July party, starting later this afternoon. Beth, Zoe and he were going to have an early lunch, then let Zoe take her nap here. Afterward, they would walk over to Brooke’s together before the party started and help Brooke get ready.
“There’s my girl,” Mac said, watching Zoe run down the hallway toward him where he waited for her, crouched low. Of course she ran willingly into his arms.
“Wow, it looks great in here,” Beth said.
The house had been transformed in the two weeks since she had been over. His living room was now complete with a warm toasted almond paint color that covered the entire open floor plan. It went well with the kitchen, and because the floors were so dark, the walls really shouldn’t have been. He was glad she’d convinced him of that. He definitely needed to add some splashes of color, but there was time for that. “Come on, I’ll show you the upstairs. They finished the master suite a few days ago. There’s still some more work to do on the fourth bedroom, but they put a rush on the master for me.”
He held Zoe’s hand and made his way up the stairs located at the back of the living room. “The office isn’t finished yet either, next week with any luck. Thanks on the color suggestions there, too. I think that soft sky blue will work out well.” He really did like her style. It was simple, basic and modern, but warm. He grew up in old antique coldness and he wanted the furthest thing from that as possible.
Opening his bedroom door revealed a sage green color similar to her living room. It worked well with the rich brown floors and dark cherry wood furniture. He made a mental note to himself that he needed a new bedspread; the plain white one didn’t work anymore.
“Big bed,” Zoe said.
“Yes, it is,” Mac said, with a sly grin at Beth, who looked away shyly.
He’d asked them to spend the night. No pressure, of course, there were plenty of bedrooms for everyone. Since the fireworks show would be well past Zoe’s bedtime, he thought it would be easier to put her to bed at his house if she fell asleep, rather than pack her up and drive home.
When Beth walked in she was minus any luggage, so he guessed she decided against staying overnight after all. It was hard not to show his disappointment, but he focused on trust again and hoped she would let him know when she was ready.
“Bathroom is right here.” He indicated, sliding the pocket door open to reveal a massive tiled shower on one side, a soaker tub on the other. Duel vanities on opposite walls, and another small door leading to the toilet made up the room. “His and hers walk-in closets.” He pointed to the other two doors but didn’t open them.
“This suite is almost as big as my whole apartment,” she said, amazed.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve only seen Zoe’s room, the kitchen and living room,” he replied nonchalantly.
“Mommy’s room is bigger than mine,” Zoe informed him.
“Really?” he asked, his eyes lighting up a tad at the information.
“Yes, and it’s purple,” Zoe added.
“Purple?” He turned those same eyes with an arched brow toward Beth.
“Lavender,” she corrected.
Zoe added more information. “It has a cloud bed.”
“A what?” Mac asked, confused.
“That’s enough, Zoe. No more talk about Mommy’s room,” she said, then turned to Mac. “A canopy bed.”
“Sounds like someone else likes princesses, too.”
***
After lunch, they settled Zoe down for her nap in the room across from Mac’s old bedroom. He was thrilled and ridiculously pleased when Beth went back out to her car to bring in their overnight bags.
Not wanting to press his luck, he showed her both rooms. The one that Zoe was in, and his old room for her use. When she hesitated to put her bag down in his old room he took a risk by laying his hand over hers and saying, “Or I can carry it into my room.”
She let go of the bag and he breathed a sigh of relief. Now he had to get through the party and fireworks show.
***
Like clockwork, two hours after Zoe lay down for her nap in the queen-sized bed at Mac’s house, she woke up calling for them.
Since Mac had bought a camera monitoring system for Zoe’s room, they were able to see her sitting on the bed too. He put one of the two portable receivers downstairs so that Beth could keep an eye on Zoe and feel comfortable walking around the house and yard without worrying. The other receiver was in his bedroom—where hopefully she would feel comfortable, too. But she was still too nervous to think about being comfortable at this point.
In the end they decided to drive Mac’s car the half mile down the road to Brooke’s since he hadn’t realized the number of things she needed to bring for Zoe. Men never seemed to understand.
“Mac!” A little redhead yelled and ran full force into his chest with a thud to give him a big hug, not even caring that he wasn’t alone. Beth tried her hardest not to frown. Maybe it was a family member, and she didn’t want to judge.
; But Mac lifted the redhead up to his level and planted a kiss on her lips. That looked a bit too friendly to be family to Beth.
It didn’t take long for Zoe to show her displeasure, either. She tugged on the end of Mac’s knee-length shorts and demanded, “Pick me up.” Then she lifted her arms in the air with a frown.
Mac easily put Zoe on his hip where she cuddled in tight, her head on his shoulder.
The little redhead took in the sight of the Zoe claiming Mac and giggled. “Looks like someone’s jealous,” she said, looking at Beth who was frowning at Mac, too.
Mac grinned—clearly not the least bit concerned—and made the introductions, as an extremely tall man made his way over to shake hands with everyone.
Beth had never felt small in her life, but standing next to the sheer size of Jack—whom Mac had introduced as Cori’s fiancé—she did. And she couldn’t believe Cori and Jack were even a couple. They actually looked comical together.
“What a pretty ring,” Cori said with a bright smile and a bob of her head. “Turn your frown upside down, Zoe. I don’t like to see anyone sad,” she said with a little giggle and a finger poke in Zoe’s tummy.
It worked. Zoe slowly smiled and held out her little hand with matching red nail polish and showed Cori her ring. “Dr. Mac give to me.”
“Dr. Mac gave it to me,” Beth corrected her.
“Yes.” Zoe clapped and then threw her arms around Mac’s neck for another cuddle.
Beth saw Cori watching the byplay with interest, a wide grin forming on her face. “Really? Mac, you’ve never given me any rings.”
Jack chuckled at his fiancée’s attempt to poke fun at Mac, and Beth started to relax a bit. Jack obviously didn’t seem concerned over Mac kissing Cori on the lips.
Mac tugged a lock of Cori’s hair. “You’ve never been a good girl before. Only good girls get rings.”
Cori started to stay something, but Zoe interrupted her yelling, “Magic box!”
Of course that caused both Jack and Cori to raise their eyebrows at Mac. “You’ve got a magic box too, Mac? What else don’t I know about you?” Cori said, poking her finger in his side now.
“Beth, ignore Cori. She is a horrible tease and flirt,” Jack said, watching Beth’s face, apparently noticing her discomfort. “Zoe, Cori has her own ring, too,” he said, drawing Zoe’s and Beth’s attention to Cori’s engagement ring.
Cori gleefully held up her hand for Zoe to see. “Look, mine is chocolate. My favorite.”
Zoe didn’t understand that the ring in front of her was a chocolate diamond rather than an actual treat and said, “You can eat your ring. Yummy.”
“No, Zoe.” Beth jumped in quickly. “It’s not candy,” she said, trying to explain. “It’s the color. Chocolate is brown, remember? Well, her ring is brown, so it’s called a chocolate diamond.” She knew Zoe still didn’t understand, so she ended with, “It’s not food.”
“Come on, Beth. Let’s go help Brooke before everyone gets here.” To Beth’s dismay, Cori grabbed her hand and dragged her up the stairs and then through the glass doors on the deck. Beth literally had to run to keep up, even though Cori’s legs were much shorter than hers. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Mac waving her on and laughing as he walked away with Jack, Zoe happily clapping her hands in his arms.
In the kitchen, Brooke gladly accepted Beth’s help getting the arrangement of snacks ready. “Did you make all these by yourself?” Beth asked, recognizing homemade when she saw it.
“Yes,” Brooke replied proudly over the bowls of dips, the fruit platter, stuffed mushrooms in the oven, and small loaves of bread toasting in another oven to be cut up and layered with tomatoes and mozzarella prepped and ready to go. “Please tell me you cook. I’ve got no one else I can talk food with,” she said pointedly glancing at Cori.
“Hey,” Cori protested. “I can talk food fine. Just not how to cook it. But I love eating it,” she said, grabbing a crab-filled cucumber cup from a tray.
“I like to cook. Nothing gourmet, but I like healthy foods. I would rather have fresh and homemade than processed any day,” Beth said.
Brooke beamed. “My new best friend. You’ve been well and truly replaced, Cori. Go get us a drink, will you?” She ignored Cori’s pout and gave her a gentle push.
Cori grabbed a deviled egg and popped it into her mouth whole. “Sure, I’ll gladly get your drink, while you two keep cooking so I can eat. Hurry up now. Get it all ready, I’m starved,” she said, bounding off for the coolers lining the deck.
***
Hours later, Beth was watching Zoe play in the water on the little beach, splashing around, carrying buckets of water and sand to make her castles, all the while chattering without a care in the world.
“She seems to be enjoying herself,” Mac said, taking a seat next to her in the shade.
“Impossible not to. She’s being spoiled by everyone here. Everyone is picking her up, getting her food, and now she is playing in the water. It’s a child’s dream,” she said, grinning even though the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Mac noticed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Beth, come on, tell me. What’s wrong? Did someone say something to you?”
“What am I doing here?” she asked suddenly.
“What does that mean?” he asked as his eyebrows creased.
Checking to make sure no one was nearby first, she explained, “Mac, look around. I’m so out of my element. If I didn’t feel like I wasn’t good enough for you before, I sure do now.”
“That’s nonsense. I told you how I felt about your upbringing and I meant it,” he said, clearly trying to hold his frustration in check.
When she had first been introduced to Lucas’s father, Thomas, she thought he looked familiar, but she couldn’t quite place the large man. Lucas’s mother Michelle was a sweetheart—not that Thomas wasn’t—but there was motherly warmth to Michelle, and Beth was immediately taken with her. But when Lucas’s brother Ryan showed up, Beth finally realized who Lucas’s family was. Suddenly, she felt more inferior than ever.
She knew Mac had come from money. She picked that much up easily enough. He was a doctor, after all. When he had mentioned he was from Burlington and his father was a doctor too, she did her own research and was taken back to find out how well known the elder Dr. Malone was.
More research uncovered pictures of Mac’s childhood home, which had been featured in a local Vermont paper showcasing old historic homes in the area. That kind of wealth was only seen on TV in Beth’s mind; it didn’t exist in her world. She was happy when she had money left over for Zoe’s college fund each month once all her bills were paid.
But the Mathews family was in a whole other league. She knew immediately who Ryan was. How could she not when there were TV commercials on him and his family’s firm all over the place? It was understandable she hadn’t put two and two together when she was introduced to Brooke’s full name. Lucas wasn’t part of the family business, having chosen to go out on his own and work in the healthcare sector.
Meeting Ryan reaffirmed all the doubts she’d had in the beginning. And those doubts came rushing back to the surface today. Even Brooke’s best friend was marrying a doctor, and Cori herself was a nurse. Where did a hairdresser with a three-year-old fit into this picture? And she told Mac as much.
“I repeat. That is nonsense,” he said. “No one is judging you here. No one cares what you do for a living. We aren’t a bunch of snobs, you know. Look around at everyone, do they look like snobs?”
Beth had to admit everyone was hanging out and wearing casual clothes. Most likely designer she’d bet, unlike her Old Navy clearance shorts. But no one was acting all high and mighty either.
Matter of fact they all seemed to accept her easily, the same with Zoe. Even Brooke had asked her advice on a new hairstyle, and Cori had commented on Beth’s red nail polish with one navy-and-white striped nail, telling her it looked fun.
No one seemed to be judging her, yet she seemed to be judging everyone else. Maybe she was wrong.
Though to be honest, there was one person who was giving her the evil eye now and again. Ryan’s date, Brenda, seemed to be looking down her nose at Beth. Not that Beth cared, because even Cori and Brooke were cracking jokes about the blonde-haired-boob-enhanced arm candy.
“No, you’re right. No one has been anything but nice to me today. But I can’t help feeling out of place. Everywhere I turn it’s like a dream world to me. I can’t explain it to you, and I don’t want Zoe to think this is normal. I can’t give her this. I don’t want her to feel like she is less than anyone else, because she isn’t,” Beth said earnestly.
“You’re right, she isn’t. And neither are you.” He leaned in to kiss her softly, clearly not caring who could see them.
***
No matter how much chocolate Zoe ate—thanks to Cori’s attempt at sneaking it—she still managed to fall asleep on Mac’s chest after the first few fireworks exploded in the sky. It was hours past her bedtime and the day had been too eventful for her. He gently placed her in the car seat he’d purchased for his BMW and then went back to get the rest of their things while Beth loaded Zoe’s beach toys in the trunk.
Brooke stopped him on the way back through. “I really like her, Mac. Don’t blow this.”
He squinted one eye at her. “You’re giving me dating advice?” Then he tugged her hair much like he did Zoe’s ponytail earlier.