by SUE FINEMAN
“Her cat.”
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Donovan didn’t come home for dinner, and Billy didn’t have the valentines he needed for school tomorrow, so Hannah took him to the store and let him pick some out. It took him most of the evening to address them and choose which one to give to which kid.
Pop didn’t say anything about Donovan not being there, but Billy did. “Is Dad mad at me?”
“No,” said Hannah. “Your dad is mad at me. Are you about finished?”
“Yeah.”
She would not apologize to Donovan for paying that bill. She’d spend more than that on the house before they were finished refurbishing the inside and painting the outside, and they still needed a fence for Laddie and a garage. After all she spent, she still had over four hundred thousand in her investment account and two safe deposit boxes filled with gold coins and antique jewelry.
The easy, trusting relationship with Donovan was strained because of his macho pride. If he expected her to be like Maggie, he’d better think again. Maggie grew up thinking she could have anything she wanted. Her mother treated her like a princess, whereas Monique expected Hannah to treat her like a princess.
Hannah wasn’t a princess and she didn’t want to be treated like one. She’d learned to do without or earn what she wanted, and she’d learned something about relationships along the way. If two people didn’t treat each other as equals, the relationship was doomed to failure. The macho me-man-you-woman crap didn’t fly with her. It might be the way people lived in her grandparents’ day, but not today.
Billy went up to bed and Hannah tucked him in and kissed him goodnight. And still Donovan didn’t come home.
She came downstairs to find Pop sleeping in Grandpa’s recliner, the television blaring in front of him. She turned the television off and walked into the dark kitchen to look out the door for Donovan. It was their first big fight, and she didn’t know what to expect. If he came in yelling, he could sleep alone tonight.
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Donovan went out for a beer with Peterson. They sat nursing their beers and talking about women until Donovan was sure Hannah had already gone to bed. He couldn’t face her tonight. She’d thrown some zingers at him, and he wasn’t sure how to take them. Did he expect their relationship to be like his relationship with Maggie? No, of course not, but that didn’t mean he wanted Hannah to pay his bills. Those bills were his burden, not hers, and he would have wiped them out with the bankruptcy. Now it was too late, and he had no way to reimburse her.
Maggie’s witch of a mother had stuck him with the entire hospital bill after she’d promised to pay half. She knew he couldn’t pay it, and she didn’t care. Like with the shopping trips Eleanor took with Maggie, when they’d charged everything to his credit cards. She wanted to punish him then. And she had.
Peterson shook his arm. “Hey, Donovan. You’re in another world. What are you thinking about?”
“Witches.” He stood and put a ten dollar bill on the table. “Thanks for the ear. I needed it tonight.”
Chapter Twenty-One
The house was dark when Donovan pulled up and parked on the side street. He let himself in through the kitchen door and walked up the kitchen steps to the second floor. Billy was in bed, sound asleep. Hannah’s bedroom door stood wide open, but she wasn’t there. He walked up to the attic to see if she was with Trevor, but she wasn’t there. Trevor wasn’t either. Maybe she’d gone out with him. No, Trevor was working a double shift today.
He went down the main staircase and checked Pop’s room. He was asleep, and Hannah wasn’t in the library. Where was she?
With a flash of panic, he wondered if she’d left him.
A voice from the dark living room called to him. “Looking for me?”
“Hannah, why aren’t you in bed?”
“Why aren’t you? Are you too angry to face me?”
He sat on the sofa and noticed the drapes were open and the front porch light was on. Soft light filtered through the windows and created shades of shadows in the living room. He saw the flashlight on her lap and his heart melted a little. She was afraid of the dark, but she’d stayed up waiting for him.
“You’re sitting alone in the dark?”
“I’m not alone. My grandparents are here. Can’t you feel them?”
He shivered. “Yes, I can feel them.” Andrew and Charity were gone, but Sonny and Virginia were still here in the house. Were they hanging around to make sure Hannah was all right, or were they curious about whether she’d stay? Donovan knew she’d stay. No matter what else happened, she wasn’t about to leave this house. It was her home, and the longer he spent with her, the more he realized how much she needed a real home.
And he needed Hannah.
“Why did you pay that bill?”
“Because you get depressed when it comes, and the way they keep adding interest, you’ll never get it paid off.”
“I was going to file for bankruptcy. I was sitting in Thornton Clapp’s office when I found out the hospital had been paid off. Stupid me, I thought Maggie’s mother had paid it.”
“Bankruptcy? With all the money we found in the house, you don’t have to file for bankruptcy.”
He jumped to his feet. “It was my problem, not yours.”
She stood in front of him and poked his chest to emphasize her words. “Your ego is the problem, not the damn bill.”
He slapped her hand away and went upstairs, as angry with himself as he was with her. He moved his things from her bedroom and bathroom and stretched out on the bed in his old room. An hour later, Hannah had still not come upstairs, and he couldn’t sleep knowing she was angry with him. So, he walked downstairs. She was still sitting in Sonny’s recliner, only she was crying, sobbing like her heart was breaking, and her lap was filled with wadded tissues.
He dropped to his knees in front of her and took her hands. She pulled them away. “I’m not Maggie, and I don’t want a one-sided relationship where one person does all the giving and the other does all the taking. If we can’t have an equal, sharing relationship, then we have nothing.”
“If we had an equal, sharing relationship, we would have talked about the bills.”
“I tried talking to you, but you were too busy wallowing in self-pity to listen.”
“Why did you pay it after I told you—”
“I wanted to get married and stay home and have a baby or two and be here for Billy, but I can’t do that when we’re buried in debt. You can’t afford another child. You can’t even afford the first one.”
She apparently thought he was going to ask her to marry him. And he was. But not now.
“I thought… I thought you loved me enough to make a life with me, but I was wrong. You’re too obsessed with money to love me. Did you yell at Pop when he gave up his home to help you, or is it just me?”
“That was different.”
“How was it different? He did it out of love, Donovan.” She didn’t say the rest, but he knew what she meant. She wanted to lift that heavy burden off his shoulders because she loved him.
“Pop and I talked about it first.”
“Then why in the hell couldn’t you talk to me? Because I’m a woman? Because I’m Maggie’s sister? Or is it because I’m Monique’s daughter? Am I not good enough for you, Donovan? Is my pedigree too much like Maggie’s to suit you?”
Stung by her words, Donovan backed away and stared at her for several seconds.
“If you’re waiting for an apology, you can forget it. I’m not apologizing.”
“You’re a frustrating woman.”
“Damn right I am. Go to bed, Donovan.” He had to go to work tomorrow.
Without another word, he walked away. Fresh tears poured from Hannah’s eyes. She loved him so much it was breaking her heart. In paying that bill, she thought she’d set him free to marry her. Instead, she’d ruined everything.
She cried until she had no more tears left inside her. And then she cleaned up the tissues and walked upstai
rs to bed.
Alone.
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The next morning, Pop was up early, and Donovan was already gone.
Instead of coming down for breakfast, Hannah stayed in her room. Pop worried about her. He knew she and Donovan had a big fight last night, and he knew why. They’d fought about money, but not in the usual sense. This fight wasn’t about someone spending too much. Donovan had always considered that hospital bill his cross to bear, but if he’d stop and think for one minute, he’d realize she wasn’t the only one who helped him.
After Maggie died and Donovan lost his house, he had a big sale. His friends and neighbors paid him several times what things were worth to help him out, but it wasn’t enough. He tried making minimum payments, but the credit card companies tacked on so much interest, he was barely treading water. And then the medical bills started coming in. He capped out his insurance benefits, leaving three big doctor bills and one giant hospital bill. He talked with Chief Vittore about taking bankruptcy, but the chief discouraged Donovan from doing it. It would send the wrong image to the public, he said, and end any chance of promotion in the future.
Donovan and Billy moved in with him and Connie, but after a few months, Connie got viral pneumonia and it weakened her heart. After she died, Pop sold the house and paid off Donovan’s credit card bills to get the collection agencies off his back. He gave up his home, the place he and Connie had lived since the boys were kids, to bail Donovan out of financial trouble. It was a huge sacrifice, but he did it out of love for his son and grandson. Hannah had paid that hospital bill for the same reason. Out of love. Couldn’t he see that?
Instead of thanking Hannah for her generosity and planning a future with her, Donovan pitched a fit. He didn’t pitch a fit when his friends and family helped him, but this was different. This was the woman he loved, and she did it without telling him. She’d stepped on his pride as a man.
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It was nearly lunchtime when Donovan called. “Everything all right, Pop?”
“No. Hannah is still locked in her bedroom. What in the hell did you do to her?”
“She doesn’t want a relationship with a man who’s obsessed with money, as if I enjoy being buried in debt.”
“Did she give you a reason for paying the hospital bill?”
“She said she wanted to have a baby or two and I couldn’t afford to support another child with that bill hanging over my head.”
“She’s right.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“I’ve always been on your side, son. She wasn’t trying to step on your pride. She was trying to help, like I did when I sold the house. If she didn’t love you, she wouldn’t have done it.”
“I know.” He said it so quietly, Pop barely heard him.
“Swallow your pride and apologize. She’s worth ten times more than Maggie ever was. She’s better looking, too, without all that glitz.”
“She’s stubborn.”
“And you’re not?” Pop had raised three hard-headed Irish sons. Rogan was the worst of the three, but marriage had settled him. Brendan was more like Connie, slow to boil, but when he dug in his heels, everyone ran for cover. And then there was Donovan, the boy with the wounded soul. He and Maggie had some rousing fights during their marriage, and she spent more time living with her mother than with him.
Connie never could stand to be around Maggie, and Pop hated the way she treated his son. Donovan would find one credit card and cut it to pieces, and she’d turn right around and get another one. But the thing that got to everyone in the Kane family was the way she treated Billy. She either ignored him or yelled at him to shut up and leave her alone.
If Vittore hadn’t talked Donovan out of taking bankruptcy, this wouldn’t be an issue. They’d still be living in his little house over on Wilson Street.
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Hannah cried until her eyes were swollen and she had no more tears left to cry. She slept off and on, and then at noon, Pop brought her a sandwich and a cup of tea.
“Hannah, you haven’t eaten all day.”
“My stomach is a little queasy today, but I’ll have the tea.”
“Trevor called. He’ll be home by five, said he’d fix dinner tonight.”
“Okay. I need to run an errand, but I’ll wait until after Billy gets home from school.” She sipped her tea. “Was that Donovan on the phone?”
“Yeah, he’s hurting as much as you are. Stubborn guy, always was.”
“I guess I am, too, because aside from hurting his pride, I don’t think I did anything wrong. How much did you give him?”
“Between the house and savings, well over two hundred thousand. The last thing Connie said to me was to take care of Donovan and Billy, and I did the best I could.”
“So did I,” she said mostly to herself.
But Donovan didn’t see it that way.
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When Donovan got home from work, Trevor was in the kitchen cooking dinner. “Where’s Hannah?”
Trevor stirred something in the skillet. “She isn’t feeling well.”
Donovan walked up to her bedroom and looked at her pretty face. Even in sleep, her eyes were swollen from crying. He’d done that to her. She’d taken some of the money she’d found in the house and used it to help him. It shouldn’t have surprised him, but it had, and he’d been wrong to let it get to him. She was only trying to help him, and them, by freeing him from that burden.
It did feel good to be out from under that debt. Once he paid the last doctor bill, he’d be free of debt for the first time since he married Maggie. And he did want more kids. Billy might be jealous of a baby brother or sister, but Donovan had never intended for him to be an only child.
Pop motioned to him and they walked down the bedroom hallway to talk. “She’s been sleeping off and on all day, and she’s not eating. I know she’s upset, but something isn’t right.”
“I’ll take care of her, Pop.”
“If she’ll let you near her again.”
Donovan walked back to Hannah’s bedroom. He kicked off his shoes, put his gun and holster on the nightstand, and lay down beside her. Without waking, she rolled into his arms. His arms tightened around her soft, warm body, and he knew this was more important than his pride, more important than Maggie’s bills, more important than bankruptcy or his law enforcement career.
“I love you, Hannah,” he whispered. “God, how I love you.”
This fight he’d had with her was nothing like the ones he’d had with Maggie. After their fights, Maggie always ran home to her mother. Hannah wouldn’t run away. She’d stay because she loved him, and because this old house was her home. It was her sanctuary, and Hannah was his. He could kick himself for upsetting her.
Minutes later, Billy stood in the open bedroom door. “Trevor says dinner is ready.”
“Okay. Go ahead and eat. We’ll be down in a few minutes.” Donovan kissed Hannah’s forehead and rubbed her arm. “Hannah? Come on, honey, wake up.”
She stirred and whispered, “Donovan?”
“I’m right here. Trevor made dinner. C’mon, wake up.”
She rolled out of his arms and sat up. “I thought you moved out of my room.”
“I did.”
She walked into the bathroom and closed the door. He waited for her to come out, wondering if he’d made a mistake coming in while she was sleeping. She came out waving a hairbrush. “Why are you here if you moved out?”
Time for an apology, before she threw that thing at him. “Because I’ve been a jerk, and I owe you an apology.”
She leaned on the doorjamb and crossed her arms, the hairbrush in her hand like a weapon. “Okay, I’m waiting.”
This woman didn’t give an inch, and he wasn’t sure a simple apology would do it. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For coming unglued when you paid a bill that wasn’t yours to pay.”
“You call that an apology?”
He walked toward her. “I
’m a little out of practice.”
“Daaad,” called Billy.
“We’ll be there in a minute,” he snapped and then turned back to Hannah. “Are you out of practice in forgiving?”
She glared at him for a long minute. “Go downstairs and eat your dinner. Tell Trevor I’ll get something later.”
Hannah backed into the bathroom and closed the door. He was trying to apologize, and she wasn’t making it easy for him. She’d spent a whole lot of money to bail him out of that quagmire he’d been sinking in. Bankruptcy wasn’t the answer, and he wouldn’t get that stupid bill paid off in this lifetime, not with a family to support. She knew he wouldn’t consider marriage until it was paid, yet he’d gladly take the house if she walked away. Maybe that was what she should do. Walk away from the house.
What would that prove, except that she was a bigger idiot than he was?
A wave of nausea hit her and she threw up in the toilet. On top of the nausea, she’d missed her last two periods, her breasts were tender, and she was tired all the time. If she was pregnant, she and Donovan had to resolve their differences soon, so they could get married before this kid was born.
“Where’s Hannah?” Pop asked Donovan.
“Upstairs. If she doesn’t come down for dinner, I’ll take something up to her.”
Pop stared him down. “Did you fight with her again?”
“Why don’t you ask if she fought with me?”
“Because I know you too well.”
“Look, Pop, I tried to apologize.”
Pop nailed him in a glare. “Try harder.”
Why was he always the bad guy? “I thought you were on my side.”
“Changed my mind.”
Trevor said, “According to my sister, every fight Hannah and I ever had was my fault.”
“Was it?” asked Pop.
“Actually, it was. Hannah and I always fought about money. I couldn’t find a decent job, so she had to work in a job she hated to support us. If I’d tried harder or looked for something I actually liked doing, I’d have a job in Tacoma and we might still be married.”
Pop stabbed his fork in the air toward Donovan. “If my son doesn’t get his act together, they’ll never make it to the altar.”