by Lexi Ward
I could only laugh, my mother, the perfect southern belle, never cursed unless she was angry.
“What kind of things Mother?”
“You know how hard it is to get anything sent here?” I opened my mouth to continue, but she kept talking. “Literally everything!”
“There are no white roses here! You can't find any damn orange flowers or whatever they’re called. You can’t find them here!”
My mother, Eleanor Fitzgerald Shields was a force to be reckoned with. Standing just under 5’2” in heels and with bright blond hair, she didn’t take even a little bit from anyone. She had no problems grabbing ears, slapping foreheads and getting her way. My father, Reginald, loved her so much he tolerated her not taking his name.
“So tell her Ma. Just tell her no.” She spun on her heels using the momentum from walking to face me. “
“You ever tried telling that girl no?”
Her Texan accent was more prominent the angrier she got.
“Yes, I have. Remember the time I babysat and told her she couldn’t have ice cream?”
She began walking again, ordering the placement of things and laughed. “Yes, I remember. She told you if she couldn’t have ice cream then nobody could.”
“Exactly. She took every last carton of ice cream out of the freezer, even the deep freezer outside, and set the cartons outside to melt.” I chuckled remembering.
“We didn’t find those damn things until the next day, and the entire back yard had all kinds of animals and ants.”
We laughed together as I looked at the change in our backyard. There were flower buds tied along the back of the seats. There were tables along the side of the yard for photos and heirlooms. The other tables were for food and the bar. The silverware was tied with lines in burlap. Ironically, as fancy as both Cara and Blake are, their background wedding was properly Texan, with the right dash of country.
There were mason jars of fresh flowers on top of plain, white-ironed linens. A sunflower pomander dangled from an outdoor chandelier for a charming twist along the lights decorating the tops of the gates. Cute wooden signs stood out in corners, with chalk writings of the intended destination. Some said food. Others said dance floor. I don’t want to know how much this was costing. Knowing Cara and her rich new boyfriend, it was probably a fortune they could afford.
It was cute but not something I really cared about.
“I’m going upstairs, Mama.”
“Wait. Wouldn’t you like some tea?”
I could only shake my head. “No ma’am. I’ll be down in time for dinner.”
“That’s my boy,” she said patting my cheek before I left. “And tell your father he better sign that check or else I’m coming in there.”
I already knew where she was sending me. My father lived in basically two places within our home. His man cave, which had a small putting green, or his office - where he pretended he wasn’t retired. On my way to find him, I ran into the bride-to-be herself.
“Cara!”
“Big brother!” She said running into my arms.
“You know you’re driving Ma up the wall with this wedding, right?” I asked, kissing her on the cheek.
She giggled, “Ma needs to grow a pair. She’s just grouchy because, for once, she’s not the only one running the show.”
I put her down and ruffled the top of her perfectly styled hair.
“Cut it out!” She said as if her hair wouldn’t just fall back into place. With the amount of money that she spent she could probably jump into a pool and come out still luxurious and kept.
“Where you going? She said to my back.
“To see a man about a dog.”
It was an old thing our father used to say when he didn’t want to admit where he was going. It became something we’d say to get under each other’s skin.
I kept walking until Cara said, “hey, I saw Maddie earlier.”
Her name glued my feet to the floor.
“Oh really?” I tried to remain casual and sound unfazed.
“Yeah. We had breakfast. She met Blake.”
“How was that?” I asked turning to see her face. My hands went into my pocket as a defense mechanism.
“It was great, “she said smiling. “Really great.”
I liked the way Cara was smiling. She seemed so carefree and light. It had been a while since I saw her like that. Her face wasn’t lined with worries.
“Is she coming to the wedding?” I hoped my tone was just right. Cara would ask questions if she thought anything was going on. I just had to play it cool and stay calm.
“She said she’d try.”
“Oh. Ok.” I answered, turning to walk away.
“I invited her to the dress rehearsal.” Her voice lifted on the end like she was asking me a question.
“Oh, yeah?” I said, looking back at her. I was relaxed, only vaguely interested.
“She said she’d be busy though.”
“Really? With what? You know what she’s gotten into these past years?
“I don’t. She was very mysterious.”
“So you know nothing? Not where she’s saying? Or what she’s been up to these days?”
“Nope. You know she doesn’t have a Facebook and when I poked, she wouldn’t budge.”
“Oh. Ok.” I said that too many times. I wonder if she noticed.
“I know you two used to be close friends.”
On that note, I was out.
“Yeah. Used to be.” I said, walking away.
Cara didn’t follow me, so I continued down the stairs and around the corner. Maddie might not have told Cara, but this was a Small Town. I could easily find out what I wanted. Maddie might have gotten away from me once. We were young, and I thought football was my world, but now I knew better. I wasn’t going to let her go again.
I knocked and heard his booming voice.
“Come in.”
“Hey Dad.”
“My Boy!” He stood from behind his desk.
“What’re you reading?”
He swiped his hand in the air. “Just looking in to some stocks I’m thinking about investing in.”
I could only shake my head. “You are aware that you’re retired, yes?”
“Well if you came down here to tell me to stop you can just save it. Your mother does enough of that for the both of you.”
He finally grabbed me into a bear hug. Reginald Shields was a big man. The man was as big as I am, only less muscular. His girth made up for the lack of muscles, though. With thinning black hair and loving brown eyes he hadn’t changed much over the years. I could tell he was still fit and hopefully would be around a long time.
“What’re you doing here? Don’t you know its estrogen overload? The women up there are going crazy.”
He made his eyes look crazy.
“I’d think with that being the case you’d be happy to see me.”
He grinned, pulling away from me.
“I am, but that doesn’t mean I want you to suffer too.”
He poured scotch into glasses from his corner bar and offered it to me.
“No matter, at least we’re in this together.”
We clinked glasses and sipped.
“You know this week is going to be a real shit show.”
I nodded, gulping down some more.
“Don’t tell your mother I said that. You’d think I was five the way she keeps demanding I put money in the swear jar.”
“She’s a real force when she puts her mind to something.”
He laughed, finishing his drink. “Yea, why do you think I married her?”
I nodded, and we both sat down in his leather chairs.
After a moment of silence, he said, “you know how many years your mom and I have been married?”
I shook my head, “Something like thirty years, right?
He nodded, “Thirty-four.”
I waited. Dad was going somewhere with this.
“Did I ever tell yo
u how we met?”
“You were friends in school, right?”
He nodded again. “Small Town was never big.”
“OK, so you met in school.”
“Yes and no. We knew each other, but we didn’t formally meet until high school.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because she’s from old money, and I was not.”
I cocked my head to the side.
“Wait, what?”
“Your mother never told you kids any of this. In truth, it really doesn’t matter at all, but I’m bringing it up for good reason. Your mother wanted nothing to do with me.”
He paused and smirked, the way people with relations smile.
“…Well, she wanted nothing to do with me except for one thing.”
I wanted to throw up. I didn’t need to know how much sexual tension my parents had.
“So what changed?” I asked.
“I did.” He got up to pour us another round.
“See your mother was daddy’s girl, through and through, just like Cara.”
His eyes lit up when he said that. Cara was truly the light of his life. I was the apple, but she was his light.
“My family grew up poor and I didn’t always have the fortune I have today. But I had promise. I knew a thing or two about money and I wasn’t going to let my folks dictate what my future would be. She knew I had potential. She could see it in my eyes and I made sense when I talked. She liked me and it started to show. So when her daddy said she couldn’t date a boy like me, she had to make a decision. She thought she had a choice, but I made sure she knew that she didn’t.”
I could only laugh; I knew exactly where my dad was going with this. He was just as ferocious as my mom.
“So I romanced the hell out of her ass. I’m talking the works. Candy, flowers, presents, serenades during work, the works!”
“After a month of this, me showing up to her job singing and playing guitar, I told her she had one option. Then I pulled out that big ring that you see on her finger today and got on one knee.”
“Well, who could say no to that?” I said between laughter.
“Exactly! Now look at us. Married. Two beautiful, successful kids. Happy.”
“I’ll say. Cheers to that,” I said lifted my half empty glass.
He laughed and raised his glass.
Another moment of silence passed.
“So when are you going to do the same?”
He caught me in the middle of a swallow, and I choked.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Don’t tell me all those hits to the head made you hard of hearing?
“No sir. I just...” Now was not the best time to be stuttering. “I just don’t understand where you’re going with this.”
“You must think I’m dumb. Just because I don’t speak on it doesn’t mean I don’t see it. I remember high school. I remember a young lady by the name of Maddie Lattimore. I remember this because of the look you had in your eye. Something changed in your face. You changed. I never saw anything like it before, but then it went away. You graduated, left and your eyes darkened. Sure, you play like your life depends on it. I know for a fact ladies love Liam, but I have never seen your eyes light up the way they did back then. So I’m asking you when you’re going to go after what you want? When are you going to be the son I raised? I manned up and made your Momma choose because I knew I was the best man for her. So, if you’re the best man for her, what’s holding you back?”
CHAPTER FIVE
I scrubbed the sticky table in the corner wondering what on God’s green earth could they have spilled to make it so sticky and what excuse I could come up with to miss this dress rehearsal. On one hand, I could skip, but I’d be a bad friend. On the other hand, the more time I spent with Liam, the more time I spent being a liar, the more likely it was that he found out, and I would do anything to prevent that from happening. I couldn’t hide it too much longer. Small Town wasn’t big enough for the both of us. It’s only a matter of time before he finds me. I just wish I could see the invisible countdown so I could be prepared.
I’ve seen him around, though he never saw me. That was the point. He was already a bigger than life person. I saw the way everyone was running up to him, asking for autographs and pictures. It seemed stressful, but he appeared to like it. It’s funny how fame changes people. Liam used to loathe people encroaching on his privacy. He didn’t keep secrets but he believed some things shouldn’t be shared. I could see remnants of that when he refused to answer any questions not related to his plays on the field.
With the sticky table behind me, I maneuvered to avoid Sal’s grabby hands at the lunch counter and made myself busy refilling ketchup bottles. I heard the small bell above the entrance jingle and my skin tingled. The hair on my arms stood, and my body acknowledged what my mind struggled to process. He was here.
He stood there, with the light of the sun behind him, haloing his beautiful face and my eyes took in everything it could. I would never forget the predatory glint in his eyes and the sheen in his hair. We stood for what seemed an eternity, taking in every detail we could. Everything in my mind screamed to run, but my body would not. Everything on his face said found you, and I knew he wasn’t going to let go again easily.
His stride was confident and purposeful as he approached me at the counter. He took a seat under my mute glare. Why did he have to do this? The lines were so clearly drawn in the sand, but here he was. I thought I made myself clear four years ago. I took in his playful smirk, as he fingered the menu. Clearly a lot could change in four years.
Flo cleared her throat behind me and reminded me that I was staring like an idiot. Not only that but I was at work. This was my place of profession. How dare he show his face here? I wanted to ask him, “Why couldn’t you have waited until I got off?”
“Because I’m sure you would have found a way to keep hiding.”
I covered my treacherous mouth. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“But you did,” he replied.
Seriously? What? Can my brain not function around Liam or did he just pick the perfect time for me to have a bodily malfunction?
I cleared my throat to cover my mess up.
“Um. Well. Hello.”
He chuckled. “Well don’t sound so excited.”
I scowled. Sarcasm was not welcome here. Not from him anyway. Sarcasm should be left alone for the people who had nothing. He had everything.
“Welcome to Sal’s Diner.”
He laughed out loud. Like the kind of laughter where he started tearing up a little bit.
“You do realize I’ve been here before? As I recall a certain somebody who is my waitress now, was my waitress then.”
I will not blush. I will not blush. If there was ever a time to be embarrassed, now was the time. Way to rub in my epic levels of losing. I was doing the same job I had when I was fifteen. Hello forward progression – Not.
“Well since you never visit home, I decided to roll out the red carpet,” I said, snatching the menu from his hands.
I shouldn’t have said that. It was snarky and rude, but he hurt me. That’s all he ever seemed to do. The funny thing was, I knew it was unintentional. He always unintentionally hurt me.
“Hey,” he said, grabbing my waist around the counter.
Only a man of his stature and height could pull something like that. He was still sitting and yet he could reach my body. I could only stare down at the attachment. His skin on my ratty pale blue uniform with a stained white apron threw me to a time and a place where I didn’t want to be. I shook the thoughts from my head and stepped outside of his reach.
“What can I get you?”
Keep the focus off me. That was the mission. I was good at that. That was the only way I was going to get through this.
“My usual.”
I nodded, not wanting to acknowledge I never forgot.
“Let me get a first lady (order of ribs) in a fog (mashed
potatoes) and give it shoes (to go),” I yelled back to Flo.
“So,” he said, dragging out the o. “How you been??”