by Lexi Ward
“Wow, you look amazing,” he said pulling me away from him.
That was the response I was expecting to get from my fiancé.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without your hair braided.” His mouth was open and then he tucked a small strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re beautiful.”
Well when a man looks at you like that and talks about you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread, you’re going to blush.
“Thank you.”
A throat cleared behind us. I had forgotten all about Bradley.
“Oh! Noah, this is my fiancé Bradley James.”
He stepped around me extending his arm. “It’s a real honor to meet you, man,” he said pumping Noah’s hand enthusiastically. “I’m a financial advisor. I’m sure you’ve got plenty on your team already but if you ever need any more, here’s my card,” he said pulling it from thin air. Ugh, it was like he had prepared for this moment. The butt kissing was too much.
“Noah, I’m sure you have somewhere to be, and I don’t want to hold you from your,” I looked around and saw a skinny model I hadn’t noticed before. “Date,” I said in shock. I truly never expected to feel hurt or jealousy but there they were.
“Hi,” she said boldly stepping up, although Noah didn’t introduce her. “I am Natasha,” she said with a thick Russian accent. Ugh, exotic and beautiful, can it get any worse?
Bradley took her hand and kissed it. It just got worse.
“We have to get back to our celebrating. It’s our anniversary,” I said smarmily without shaking her hand. I instantly felt bad. I wasn’t that woman. “It was nice to meeting you,” I said and turned to sit down.
Noah grabbed my shoulder and looked into my eyes like he knew what I was feeling. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Coach?” he asked.
“Where else would I be Slim?” I tried to joke, and it came off flat like I was exasperated instead of joking.
His date pulled him away and with one last glance, he was gone to some cornered VIP booth.
“Wow, she was stunning,” Bradley said. So he could notice the bimbo’s clothes but not me? Cool. “Why were you calling him Slim?”
“It’s an inside joke,” I said pushing my bowl away. I no longer had an appetite.
“Oh, I get it because he’s so big, the complete opposite of slim.” He chuckled to himself.
“Bradley, what’s my favorite color?” I asked.
“What?” he asked, eyes clouded in confusion. He probably was still thinking about Natasha and not listening to me.
“What’s my favorite color?” I asked again, holding his gaze.
“Well that’s a random question, why do you ask?”
It didn’t matter why I was asking. “You don’t know, do you?”
“Of course, I do, it’s green like mine,” he said, haughty and proud.
I couldn’t even bother with a response. I collected my scarf and jacket hastily.
“Where are you going?” he asked, shocked that I could be leaving.
“Five years Brad, five years, and you still don’t know my favorite color,” I said chagrined. I snatched off the thin chain holding my engagement ring and placed it on the table before walking away. I was outside before I could button my jacket. I knew Bradley wouldn’t follow me. He hadn’t bothered to know my favorite color. He certainly wasn’t going to bother rushing to pay a check and leave all the potential business partners.
I wanted to hate Noah. It was his fault. I would have eventually grown tired of Bradley’s distanced love. But it would have been long after we were married. It would have been long after I was a trophy wife with his 2.5 perfect children, raising them practically alone. I should be thanking Noah, but I could barely handle the thought of him. His smile, his way of disarming me and his honest compliments. We had something. I could feel it growing in the tension we created when we were near each other. It was simmering so hot with longing and too many words unsaid. I felt like I couldn’t breathe in his presence. The only thing keeping me from jumping his bones was my fiancé and can you believe it? I don’t have one of those anymore.
CHAPTER SIX
I came to our session early. Every moment in Harper’s presence was a breath of fresh air. I couldn’t contain my excitement. It didn’t help that our sessions were coming to an end soon. It also didn’t help that our sessions happened in a secluded room in the facility. Technically, we weren’t alone. Other people were around, practicing, pushing paper and other things, but for our three-hour sessions, she was mine. We had grown closer. Every session she grew softer, more relaxed and I grew tenser. Her presence, her perfume, her hands on my body was an aphrodisiac, and I was struggling to resist.
“It was really nice seeing you the other day,” I said, moving to my designated seat. “I still can’t believe you wore your hair out,” I said fingering the end of her long braid while she checked the mobility of my knee.
“I do clean up,” she joked.
“Well,” I agreed.
She shook her head.
“Why’d you leave so quickly?” She tensed. “I don’t mean to intrude. I just noticed your fiancé stayed.”
“Ex-fiancé,” she said tightly then changed the subject. “Your knee has progressed way faster than I thought so this will be our last session. You know what exercises you have to do so I expect you to keep doing them at home and before every practice. Be gentle but don’t take it too easy.” She looked at my knee critically, before gathering her things. “My work here is done.”
“What?” I said, shocked and scared. This was my last chance.
“I can’t do any more for you Slim. You have to do the rest. I’ll see you out on the turf in no time.”
She started to walk away, and I ambled after her, mindful of my knee.
“But you can’t leave.”
“What’s stopping me?” she asked, turning at the door.
“This,” and then I kissed her. I bent down and grabbed her petite face between both my hands. Her lips were the target, and I couldn’t stop. I bit her bottom lip softly, and when she moaned, I slid my tongue in to taste her. She tasted so sweet, and I couldn’t let her go. I should have let her go, so I compromised, kissing down the side of her neck.
“If you want me to stop, say so.” I said in between kisses. “It’ll be the hardest thing I ever do, but I’ll do it, Harper.” I sucked on her earlobe, and she made a small cry. “Please don’t say stop.”
“Don’t stop,” she whispered and threw me into a frenzy.
My hands were everywhere, sliding up her side and removing her shirt, unhooking her bra and pulling at her pink nipples. Pulling down her black yoga pants, thank God for yoga pants. Her hands were in my hair, and she wriggled under my touch. Her back arched when I tasted her belly button and when I put my tongue flat against her pants, panting against her wet spot, she said my name. I wanted to hear it again.
“You tell me if you want me to stop?” She nodded.
“Say it Harper.”
“I’ll tell you if I want you to stop.”
“Good,” then I pulled her panties down, and she slid one foot out so I could taste her nectar. She spread her legs farther apart allowing me to go further. She was unbridled, humping my face shamelessly. I picked her leg up and over my shoulder for better leverage and forgot where we were. Any other time, I would have been slow, teased her, and drove her crazy until my patience ruptured but not now. I couldn’t when I was so close to losing this opportunity. I didn’t care who heard as long as she exploded on my tongue and that’s what she did. Trembling and crying, she squirted in my mouth, and I didn’t dare miss a drop. I could feel her swaying, so I picked her up.
“You done?”
“Hell no.” That’s a champ.
“Wrap your legs around me.” She did, and I slid my sweats down with one hand and used the other to find my wallet. Thank God for spares in the wallet. Sheathed and hard as a nail, I slid reverently into her. Embracing that first, sweet m
oment of penetration. I closed my eyes, focusing on the slow sinking into her soft, warm velvet. I could feel her body giving way to mine, adjusting and tightening. Her body gripping to me, sending crackles of electricity from the tip of my dick to the base of my spine. Harper leaned forward and rest her head on my shoulder. Her sigh of relief with her naked body against mine was as close to home as I have ever felt. I didn’t want this moment to end. But it had to; somebody could interrupt us at any moment, and I wasn’t sliding out of her until we both came.
Sex is individual. Every woman is different. Every vagina is different, and I knew all this to be fact. I also knew, while the act was sacred, it could lose some of its appeals. The authenticity could grow old with time and women, but Harper made me feel like a virgin again. I felt like I never wanted to leave her body. I felt like I wanted to do this again, on multiple surfaces. I felt like, the completion, intimacy and closeness that I was feeling were scaring the crap out of me and when I came, I’d have to face it.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I’m having sex with a god, and I have no regrets. I probably will when I come. I mean having sex on the job, at the job, is a major no, but there I was. He was so big, filling me up, hitting my g-spot and making me feel worshipped. He never stopped kissing me, tasting me and I knew I would have hickeys tomorrow. Somewhere along the line, he lost his shirt. The softness of his chest hair against my hard nipples was tantalizing. I was rubbing against his body and couldn’t find it in me to be ashamed. Noah made me feel loved, and I knew I loved him. How dumb could I be? I would appropriately chastise myself as soon as the spasms in my clit stopped.
Noah was bent over sweaty and out of breath. One large hand around my waist, holding me tight and the other splayed on the door, holding us up.
“Wow.”
“I’ll say,” I whispered in agreement.
“That was amazing.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed,” I said, detangling myself from him and getting dressed.
He pulled up his pants.
“What happens now?” he asked.
“Now, I leave. You go back to playing football, and I’ll see you in the next lifetime.”
I opened the door and walked away.
I am the world’s biggest idiot. Not only did I fall for a football star, not only did I fall for my client, but I also fell for a man who wouldn’t know commitment if it slammed into him from the defensive line. I really knew how to pick them. Too charming or not charming enough, this day has officially warranted a gallon of Rocky Road.
I sat in my apartment, watching the Notebook and eating ice cream. Don’t judge me. I was only going to have one pity party. Tomorrow I would be great again. I still mourned the loss of my engagement and bore the humiliation of informing my family and friends I was unworthy of a spouse. Now I had to deal with seeing the man I love on TV with whatever flavor of the month he chose.
“It isn’t fair,” I said to the Ryan Gosling Noah.
“It wasn’t over,” he said in the pouring rain as Alley stood there confused, “and it still isn’t over,” he says pulling her in for a kiss.
I started bawling, “Why don’t these things happen to me?”
My phone buzzed.
Hey – Noah
Hi.
What are you doing tonight? Want to hang out?
Good Lord, it’s not enough to give me the best sex of my life, but now he wants to pretend we can be friends.
Can’t busy.
That’s right. I’ll be busy for the rest of my life. If I have it my way, I’ll never see Noah Alexander, except on the opposite side of my TV screen.
I turned my phone on silent.
That’s what I needed in my life, peace and silence.
I have worked so hard. Undergrad, masters, residency, choosing a specialty and killing myself to prove I was worthy. Constant recertification. I made connections. I put years into making a name for myself, and then I ruin it all by being one of those girls. Female physical therapists already have a bad rep. People assume we sleep with all our big clients, and now I was a stereotype. I was a percentage. I was a label, and I couldn’t blame anybody but myself. I couldn’t even bring myself to regret it. If anything I regret coming too soon. I regret not being able to have sex with him again and I regret that I can’t pretend. I don’t want to just be Noah's friend. If I can’t have him as my own, then I don’t want anything to do with him.
As expected, The Engine was back in top form, out on the green tearing it up. It was where he was meant to be. His physical come back made me a sudden interest and I was offered an athletic trainer position from a few teams. I wanted to say yes to the Panthers, after all, they gave me a chance when nobody else did, but the idea of being in the same room with Noah was unbearable. He took my breath away on the TV; I couldn’t imagine what would happen if I saw him in real life. I traveled to D.C. to see the Redskins facility and to Wisconsin to talk relocation packages with the Green Bay’s coach. The options were overwhelming.
I held the phone tightly as it rang. “Hello?” Just the sound of her voice made me feel better.
“Hey mom,” I said tearing up.
“Out with it. What’s the matter?” she asked.
I curled on the bed and told her. I told my mom everything, how I fell in love with my client, how he made my blood boil and how I was considering leaving North Carolina.
“Well you already far from me,” she said. She lived in California, in a retirement home that could give an all-inclusive resort a run for its money. “So another state won’t matter none. Just do what feels right honey. Go with your gut. Trust your heart.”
“But my heart is what got me into this mess in the first place,” I whined.
“Then trust it.” She sounded so sure. We didn’t talk often, with the time difference and her having too much fun in her free time.
“I miss you so much Ma.”
“You know I miss you.”
“When are you going to come visit?”
“Whenever I get some free time.”
“So sometime next year,” I said, and we both laughed.
Nothing is as therapeutic as talking to your mother. When I hung up, I was no closer to making a decision, but I believed my mother and decided to wait until my heart told me what to do.
CHAPTER EIGHT
I check my phone again, thinking I felt it vibrate. It’s my imagination, and the screen was as clear of notifications as it was five minutes ago. She was ignoring me. I hated being ignored. I hated even more how out of control I felt. I appeared on top of the world. My knee was healed, and I was playing my best season yet. I got four new sponsors, including a Cheerio contract. I should have been ecstatic. Instead, I’m jittery and going almost 8 weeks without sex. I’m a goner without a hit, and if Harper didn’t answer my text, I was going to pay her a house visit. I would pay someone to go into her application records and give me her address. I was not above doing that, because I missed her like hell. No one has compared to her ever since I had her. I thought we were good. I thought we could be friends at the very least, but she played me. She blocked me out. She wouldn’t answer my calls or reply to my texts.
There’s been word that she’s looking to take Green Bay’s offer as an athletic trainer. Coach already told me they offered her a position. Do you know how far away Wisconsin is from North Carolina? I’ll tell you how far, too damn far. I couldn’t let her go. I had to stop her, somehow. Say I was sorry or whatever I had to just so she wouldn’t leave.
I was giving a small photo opp for some college journalists. They wanted pictures of me using the facilities, and I happily obliged. It was easy, now that my knee was better, I literally just had to work out. I like photo shoots like this. I didn’t have to talk. I could do what I want and zone out. In my daydreams, I would see her. She would be turning the corner or coming out of one of the offices to bring me something. She would smile and tell me she missed me. Or sometimes she’d kiss me. Sometimes her eyes got big, a
nd she tried to hide behind Kyle, our hiring manager.
Wait what?
This was not a daydream. I repeat this is not a drill.
I jumped from the machine, startling the reporters.
“Excuse me for one moment,” I say to them, already halfway out the door.
She and Kyle are turning another corner, going towards his office and I take off running.
“Harper!” I know she heard me because people are starting to stare.
Would you believe she starts walking faster? Damn Kyle for keeping pace with her. She must have told him something. Maybe he’s helping her. Maybe they’re dating, and I almost trip thinking that might be a possibility. Then I run faster. She wasn’t getting away that easy.