by Sky Corgan
As I stood there and looked at Liam, I realized everything I had taken for granted. I had wanted a man who was into the finer things in life, exotic cars, exquisite fashion, and buying me expensive gifts. Wasn't that what most girls wanted? But when it came down to it, all that I needed was standing right in front of me. Good, simple, sweet Liam.
“Goodnight,” I whispered, glancing shyly into his eyes.
“Good night, love.”
A stupid grin creased the corners of my lips as I turned from him, enjoying the flood of romantic feelings that captivated my heart from being in his presence.
As I passed by Liam's bedroom, a devious thought crossed my mind. Quiet like a church mouse, I scurried to the guest bedroom to change into my pajamas. Then, just as stealthily, I crept into Liam's room, crawling under the covers.
I moaned softly as I inhaled his scent on his pillow. How I had missed that scent. Clean yet masculine at the same time. The familiarity of it was enough to carry me off to sleep faster than I had been able to fall asleep in a long time.
The next morning, I opened my eyes to the sunlight shining through the windows. For a moment, my mind was tricked into thinking that I was late for class at the BDSM school, but when I tried to rise, something was holding me in place, and I looked down to see a strong arm wrapped around me. That's when I remembered that I was in Liam's bed . . . and so was Liam.
My cheeks burned as I flattened myself on the bed, fearful that I might wake him. I wasn't sure what time it was, but it was bright enough to indicate that he was late for work. Briefly, I wondered if I should wake him, but then selfishly settled on staying nestled in the comfort of his arms instead. It felt so good to be there again, like I belonged in his arms—in his bed.
It was a shameful thought, though, and I realized that in my moment of insanity the previous day, I had made a big mistake. Not only had I jeopardized my marriage to Jack by running away, but I was also messing up my relationship with Liam by deciding to sleep in his bed. Knowing Liam, he would think the situation to be more than it actually was. I had just been trying to escape, not to betray Jack.
Was it really a betrayal, though? I was still so confused. For once, a good night's sleep hadn't done much to clear my head.
When Liam finally began to stir, I pretended like I was asleep. With so much going through my mind, I wasn't ready to explain how I ended up in his bed. For a moment, he pushed himself up onto his elbow, and I could feel him leaning over me, watching me. Then he moved a strand of my hair away from my face and kissed me on the cheek. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach from Liam's gentle touch. The way he affected me was so deep that it made me have second thoughts about returning to New York.
Finally, he rose from bed, and I listened to the bathroom door close and then the sound of the shower head turning on. Impure images filled my mind—images I knew I shouldn't be having. Why was my body begging for Liam's touch when I had held him off for so long?
Feeling like it was a good opportunity to make my escape, I crawled out of bed and went back to the guest room to dress. Liam and I met in the hallway when I was coming back out. He was toweling off his hair, and I was on my way to the kitchen to make breakfast.
“I was wondering where you went,” he said.
For a moment, I was dumbstruck, standing there staring at his broad muscular chest. He was so much bigger than Jack, with a thin covering of light blonde hair on his chest and stomach. The lines of Liam's hips pointed down into his boxers, and I felt my face flush as my eyes flitted lower for just a second before coming back up to his face.
“I-I was going to make you breakfast,” I stuttered, pointing behind me like an idiot when the kitchen was in the opposite direction. I had known Liam practically my entire life. Why was I reacting this way to him now? I didn't understand it, but I liked it. “Wait, aren't you late for work?”
“I am.” He smiled, noticing my awkwardness. “As much as I'd like to stay here with you, you'll have to just make breakfast for yourself. I'll catch something on the way to work.”
“Oh, alright.”
“You act like you've never seen me shirtless before,” Liam teased, and I instantly felt playful anger building up inside of me.
“Just, shut up and go get dressed,” I laughed, not knowing what else to say.
The day was long and lonely, but at least it gave me time to contemplate my predicament. I would have to call Jack sooner or later. It was only a matter of time before he found out where I was, and it was best that he heard the news from my mouth. About an hour before Liam was scheduled to get off work, I finally got up the nerve to dial Jack's number.
He answered with more concern than anger, “Where are you? The school told me that you left yesterday, and no one has heard from you since.”
“I'm at a friend's house.” Now it was my turn to be vague. “I'm sorry Jack, but that school was horrible.”
He sighed. “Alright. You gave it a chance. Now come back to New York. We'll figure something else out.”
“I think I'd rather stay here for a few more days,” I told him boldly.
“I'll switch your plane ticket so that you can come back on Sunday,” Jack agreed, returning to the calm demeanor that I was used to. “I miss you.”
This last bit surprised me, and I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not, nor was I sure if I returned the sentiment. We still barely knew each other.
“Text me the time that my flight leaves.”
“I'll call you tomorrow to let you know, and to check up on you.”
“Alright.”
“Have fun, and try to relax. I'm sorry things didn't go well at the school.” He sounded sincere.
“It's alright. I'm fine now.”
“I'll talk to you later, honey bee,” and with that, he hung up. There was that strange pet nickname again. Honey bee. Like Jack actually had some kind of affection for me.
Liam kept his fridge well stocked with fresh cuts of beef, so I made filet minion with baked asparagus and new potatoes for dinner. It was a hearty meal, something I knew he'd enjoy.
“Honey, I'm home,” Liam called out as he walked through the front door.
I came running only to find that he had two big bags from Salsalitos in his hands. My smile sulked a bit but didn't disappear.
“Surprise.” Liam's eyes glimmered with pride.
“Great minds think alike,” I said, trying not to sound disappointed. “I cooked dinner.”
“Well, it looks like we'll have plenty to eat for the rest of your stay,” he joked, brushing past me to set the bags in the kitchen. I could only assume that we'd be eating what he brought the next day.
“How was work?” I followed behind him.
“Long and stressful. If someone had told me in the beginning that being a lawyer was going to be this hard, then I might have chosen a different career.”
“Of course it's not easy.”
I sat Liam down and made him a plate before joining him at the dinner table. The smile on his face made me want to never leave. Everything I did, he appreciated, the same as he always had.
“So, how did it happen that you ended up in my bed last night?” Liam asked the question I had been dreading answering all day long.
“It's been so long since I've been here.” I changed the subject.
“Yes, less than a month is an awfully long time to be away,” he teased.
“Does that mean you wish I would have stayed away longer?” I shot him a playful glare.
“Well, if a few weeks away will make you lose your way and end up in my bed, then I wonder what a few months will do.” Liam glanced up at me as he took a bite of asparagus. “All joking aside, though, what was that all about?”
“Oh, Liam,” I sighed. “It's really been . . . I don't know.”
Even though I knew I shouldn't disclose too much, I ended up pouring my heart out. I told him everything. Not surprisingly, by the time I finished talking, Liam's face was red with anger.
“You stay with me. That's what you do,” he said as if it was the only option.
“You know I can't. Both of our families are depending on this marriage.”
“I don't understand why they can't merge without the marriage. This is 2017 after all, not the old days where arranged marriage was common.”
“I think it's mainly a trust thing. I don't know. Both of our parents are old-fashioned.” I had lost my appetite, but not before I devoured all of my asparagus and most of my steak. It was the first real meal I'd had since before the BDSM school.
“Don't they even care what you want?”
“No. They don't,” I replied plainly.
“So, what are you going to do? As much as I want to force you to stay here, I know I can't.”
“I guess I have to go back.” I shrugged, standing to take both of our plates to the kitchen since neither one of us seemed to be in the mood to eat anymore.
“I don't understand why you'd want to go back to someone like that. It sounds like he wants to corrupt you.”
“Maybe he does. Like I said, I don't know.”
“I mean, do you even like the guy?”
“He's not all bad.” I felt a knot forming in my stomach. Talking about Jack with Liam made me incredibly uncomfortable.
When I was done with the dishes, I went to take a shower and change into my pajamas. Then I curled up next to Liam on the sofa to watch television.
“Over five hundred channels and nothing on any of them,” he commented as he flipped through the channels, looking for something we'd both enjoy.
Liam paused on one of the adult channels that was playing a BDSM special. My stomach turned at the sight of a woman who was bound to a St. Andrew's Cross. A man in a full leather outfit was slapping a riding crop against her nipples.
“So, this is what he wants to do to you, huh?” Liam asked.
“Change it, please.” My voice was small and uneasy.
“Why? If you go back to him, you'll have to learn about it sooner or later.”
“Well, I'm not with him now.”
Liam kept his eyes on the television. The woman whimpered with each slap across her breasts, and I couldn't tell if Liam was enjoying watching it or not. “I could teach you, you know?” he suggested.
“What?” My eyes widened in disbelief, hoping he was joking.
“That's what he sent you away for, wasn't it? So you could learn to be like that girl?”
I hesitated, “Well, yes.”
“I can teach you, if you want. It wouldn't be much different than learning it from a stranger. In fact, it would be a lot safer.”
“What happened to you being worried about Jack perverting me?” I smirked at him.
Liam's expression was serious. “If he's going to send you off to learn such inappropriate things, then I'd rather it be with someone that you know and trust.”
“You know it wouldn't work out.”
“Why? Because you wouldn't want to go back to him.” The look that he gave me was incredibly intense, and I felt weak beneath his dominant gaze. Slowly, he leaned forward, and I was so captivated by him that I couldn't move. Liam's lips touched mine with a softness so sincere that I knew he could never inflict pain upon me. I should have rejected him, but my mouth moved of its own accord, worshiping his lips as he gently placed a hand behind my neck to draw me closer.
It felt like forever before he pulled away, leaving us both breathless. Almost instantly, I regretted my actions. That wasn't a kiss between two best friends. It was so much more, and I knew that it couldn't happen again.
In a second, I was on my feet. I had to get away from him, lest I was drawn in for another heated kiss. My body desired him so much at that moment—and my heart even more. If I stayed with him, it would destroy everything.
“Melita,” he called to me as I rushed into the guest bedroom, grabbed my cell phone, and dialed Jack's number.
“Where were you? I tried to call you earlier.” Jack sounded agitated, but I ignored him.
“I need to come back to New York tonight.”
CHAPTER THREE
It was beginning to feel like I spent more time in airplanes than on solid ground. Back and forth, here and there, I was really racking up the frequent-flier miles. I could only hope that this would be my last time on a plane before I got married—if I even was still going to get married.
Life was so uncertain. Between things going horribly wrong with my fiancé, and my overwhelming feelings for my best friend, I was beginning to wonder how much my family's ambition really mattered to me. We had more money than we could ever possibly need. It was just greedy to want more, especially for them to be willing to sacrifice me for it.
I came to the conclusion that things could only go one way. Either Jack would agree to teach me about BDSM himself, or we wouldn't marry. No more sending me off to strangers. No more pushing me into Liam's arms.
As Jack had feared, we had already started off on the wrong foot, and I wasn't sure how to fix it, or even if it could be fixed. All that we could do was try at this point. But if he wasn't willing to give, then neither was I.
Jack's bodyguard greeted me at the NYC terminal, and I did my best to smile. This man wasn't the one that had wronged me, and he deserved none of my discontent. I would save that for Jack.
When I stepped into the limousine, Jack was waiting for me. It wasn't like the first time when I was excited to see him. This time, all I felt was dread. He kissed me on the cheek and told me that he missed me, and at that moment, I realized that the sentiments were not returned.
“We need to talk,” I began, my voice showing no signs of warmth.
“I'm sorry about the school not going well,” he apologized. “It's important that you be able to please me—”
“Oh shove it,” I cut him off. “You pretend like this marriage is all about you. Well, it's not. You don't realize how hard this has all been for me. I had to leave my home, a life that I love, a man whom I love, just to come be with you.” The words came out as sharp as daggers, but the only person they were cutting was me. It sounded like a stranger's voice, telling me of all I had lost. “And now you want me to become some sex puppet just so that pathetic little shit between your legs will be happy.”
Jack's mouth was agape when I finally finished, and I wanted nothing more than to jump out of the moving vehicle and end it all. There had been no filter between my mouth and my brain when I spoke. I had lost all politeness, all the courtesies that had been painstakingly ingrained into me throughout the years, and now, I wasn't sure what was going to happen.
“I'm . . . I'm sorry,” Jack stuttered, not knowing what else to say.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “If you want me to learn BDSM, you're just going to have to teach me yourself. There's not going to be anymore sending me off.”
“Alright,” he agreed finally. “You seem really upset right now. Let's just get you back to my parents' house, and we'll talk about this more tomorrow.”
When Jack's parents greeted me at the door to their mansion, I tried to show them the utmost respect. Luckily, it was late, and no one was in the mood for conversation. With a quick goodnight, I went up to the guest room and laid across the bed, just wanting to sleep so that I could start the next day anew.
During the daytime, I did my best to play the happy charade around Jack's mother. She didn't ask why I had returned so early from my 'vacation,' and I was thankful. Apparently, I was entitled to the same level of discretion they gave Jack.
When Jack got off work, he swung by the mansion for a family dinner. I was quiet, as usual, observing more than I was speaking. Nothing seemed to have changed since I was gone. Jack and his father talked about business, while Jack's mother wanted to discuss my wedding dress, which she had taken the liberty of picking out herself.
I could not care less about the wedding. All I wanted was for it to be over so that I could go back to college and continue on with my life, pretending th
at Jack was somehow a part of it.
After dinner, Jack asked me if I wanted to go back to his place for a while. Part of me wanted to say no. I was scared of what he wanted to talk about after my outburst in the limo. My courage had sailed away on the morning breeze, and all I had been left with was numbness. Still, I knew that discussing what had happened was unavoidable, and it was better to get it over with so that hopefully the awkwardness between us could die down a bit.
I stared out the passenger's side window of the Lamborghini as we drove to Jack's mansion, avoiding conversation as best I could. He made some comment about the weather, and I grunted in reply, knowing that my childish actions were only adding to the tension between us.
When we got to Jack's mansion, he walked me inside to the living room. “Would you like something to drink?” he asked.
“Water,” I replied, taking a seat on one of the plush recliners.
Jack returned with two bottles of water, handed one to me, and then sat down on the sofa across for me, running his hand through his hair, looking more nervous than I had ever seen him before. “You're still pissed at me, aren't you?”
I sighed. “I don't know.”
“I really thought that you would learn something from the school,” Jack began, and I could tell that he didn't know where he was going with it.
“I did learn something from the school. I learned that you don't know anything about me, and that you didn't care to learn anything about me before you sent me there.”
“That's not exactly what I meant.” Jack scratched the back of his neck. The pained look on his face was exquisite, as if he would rather be anywhere else than discussing this with me now.
“I also learned that this arranged marriage isn't as important to me as I once thought it was.”
“Melita, I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it. Why don't we start over? You're going to be my wife, and we need to make this work.”
“Jack, aren't you the least bit worried that we're going to get married, and you're not going to be happy? That neither one of us are going to be happy? Doesn't that bother you at all?”