by Laura Drewry
Travers sighed and reached for the blanket just as Jo pulled it up over his chest. Almost instantly, his breathing fell into the soft steady rhythm of sleep.
Even all swollen and purple he was a fine looking man. Knowing he’d taken the beating for her made him even more attractive to her and though she knew that was the stupidest thought she’d had in a long time, it somehow made sense to her.
She brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, then leaned over and pressed a soft kiss in the same spot – the only part of his face not swollen.
She backed up a step, then stopped. She shouldn’t do it; she wouldn’t do it. So why was she leaning back toward him?
Jo touched her lips to his, wincing at the way his upper lip swelled like a giant sausage.
“Feel better, Travers.”
He mumbled softly, but she couldn’t make out what he said. She was tempted to touch his bruises, to somehow try and make them go away, but that was more nonsense. Best to let him rest; she’d check on him later.
Clay was in the yard playing with the puppies when she stepped out of the cabin and closed the door.
“I’ve got a job for you,” she said.
The boy looked as eager as ever. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m going to go work on the fence in the east corner. When Travers wakes up, you come and get me.”
Clay nodded solemnly. “Is M-Mr. Travers okay?”
Jo rumpled his already mussed hair and smiled. “He’ll be fine. Just needs some rest is all.”
“Good.”
Jo watched the relief wash over Clay’s face. The poor kid had been honestly worried. She knew he’d spent a lot of time with Travers, but didn’t know what they did or what they talked about.
“You like Travers, huh?” she asked, squatting down to eye level with him.
“Yes, ma’am,” Clay nodded. “M-Mr. Travers talks to me. An’ he lets me talk back.”
Jo fought back a chuckle. “Yeah? What kinds of things do you talk about?”
A shrug. “Stuff. Like how him an’ me ain’t got no folks.”
That’s right – Travers had told her his mother was dead. “What about his father? Brothers or sisters?”
Clay shook his head. “Tol’ me his ma was a. . .th-that she worked in a saloon. They lived there, t-too.”
“In the saloon?” Jo gaped. “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “Uh-huh. Says they moved into a house with a bunch of other women when he w-was ‘bout my age.”
Travers grew up in a whorehouse? It was no wonder he’d turned out the way he did; with no respect for himself or anyone else.
“I tol’ Mr. Travers he should s-stay here an’ we’d be his folks. Jus’ like you’re my folks now.”
A small lump crept up Jo’s throat. “That’d be nice, Clay, but I think Travers is keen to move on. Once we’re done the fence, he’ll be heading to California.”
The boy shrugged again, then sniffed. “I know. I was jus’ kinda hopin’ is all.”
Swallowing hard, she pushed to her feet and smiled down at Clay. “Hope is a good thing, Clay, as long as you don’t let yourself believe in something that’s just not going to happen. Do you understand?”
He nodded, but she knew he didn’t understand one bit. Hell, she didn’t understand it. And once Travers left, the poor kid would lose the closest thing he’d had to an older brother. And she’d lose the closest thing she’d ever had to a. . .
To a what? What was Travers to her? And what was she to him? Too many questions. Her brain swam in them, begging for some kind of answer. Any answer.
“I gotta go,” she said. “But you’ll come get me, right?”
Clay nodded again, then shuffled off after one of the puppies. If Jo thought she had half a chance of making it work, she’d adopt that kid on the spot and give him a real family. But boys needed fathers and that was the one thing she couldn’t give him.
o0o
Levi opened his eyes to find the sun had begun its slow descent in the western sky. His jaw still ached, and his eye still wouldn’t open all the way, but at least he could see a little better than he could earlier.
It’d been a long time since he’d slept the day away. And even longer since someone had tucked him in the way Joanna had, with a soft caress and a kiss. Two kisses, actually. He’d felt her staring at him, felt a growing tension coming from her, and then she’d kissed him. . .
Levi groaned.
If he hadn’t been so tired, or so sore, God only knows how he’d have responded to her.
He pulled on his boots, grabbed his hat and stepped out into the yard. Clay scampered out of the barn, eyeing him carefully.
“How you feelin’, Mr. Travers?”
Levi chuckled. “Probably better than I look. D’you know where Joanna is?”
“Yup. I’m ‘posed to go get her from the east corner as soon as you woke up.”
When he turned back to the barn, Levi stopped him. “Hold on, Clay. I’ll just ride out there myself.”
“B-but she said--”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I promise. But I’d sure appreciate it if you’d saddle my horse for me. Can you do that?”
“Yes, sir!” Clay disappeared inside the stable while Levi walked around the corral, trying to ease some of the stiffness from his back.
Mac rounded the corner and stopped dead. For long seconds, they stood staring at each other, neither one moving. Then Mac broke the silence.
“Joey tells me I done wrong by layin’ that on you.” He kept his glare steady. “I ain’t gonna apologize, though, because I still think you deserved it.”
Levi didn’t answer.
“Says you never promised her anything, so she got no right to be upset like she was.” He stepped closer and Levi braced for another blow. “I don’t care about any of that, Travers. All I care about is seeing her cry. Make her cry again, and I swear--”
“Here you go, Mr. Travers.” Clay led Levi’s mare from the stable, then came up short when he saw Mac.
“Thanks, Clay.” Levi took the reins and returned his gaze to Mac. “I’ve got no plan to hurt Joanna. And I’ve got no desire to meet you in the barn again.”
“Then we’re clear.”
Levi nodded. “Clear as can be. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got work to do.” He swung up into the saddle, careful not to wince in front of Mac.
“You’re going to work like that?” Mac barked. “You can hardly see.”
“I see just fine.” Yup, he saw plenty fine now. Joanna’d been jealous the other night – that’s what got her so upset. And though her being upset shouldn’t make him smile, he couldn’t seem to help himself. She’d been jealous of Stella. How stupid was that?
The late day sun warmed his back as he rode slowly east, thinking on what he’d just learned. If Joanna was jealous, did that mean she was feeling the same way he was? And what the hell was that anyway? Sure couldn’t be what Will had called it – love – because Levi didn’t have the first idea what that meant. Or how it felt.
Lust was a part of it, no question, but there was something else, too. Something stronger; something that made his heart beat too hard and too fast; and something that made him want to run in the other direction, yet at the same time, it made him want to run straight to Joanna and spend the rest of his days listening to her snort.
He must be losing his mind. That was the only explanation he could come up with for why he was still grinning like a fool, ignoring the pain throbbing in his head, and riding toward a woman who’d probably tell him to go to straight to hell if he told her any of this.
But he had to tell her. Even if it meant another beating from Mac.
Joanna looked up as he rode closer, her arm shielding her eyes from the sun.
“You should be in bed,” she said.
Levi bit back the response that jumped to his tongue. He’d like to go back to bed, but only if she went with him. And she’d be doing more than just tucking him in this time and kis
sing his damn-fool forehead. And there sure as hell wouldn’t be anymore of those chaste kisses she’d touched his mouth, either.
Pain or no pain, he needed her to kiss him good and proper again.
“I’ve slept enough.” He cleared his throat. “Time to get back to work.” He eased from his saddle and tossed the reins over a nearby branch.
“Sure you’re up to it?” She gave him a doubtful look.
“’Course.” He grinned. “Just so long as I don’t have to swing a hammer or make any sudden movements.”
She smiled back, then paled, the hammer twisting in her hands. She almost looked like she was going to be sick. Or, God help him, cry.
“Look, Travers. I gotta say something to you.”
He lowered himself to a chunk of cut up log and tipped his head up to see her face.
Joanna cleared her throat. “It’s my fault Mac did this to you and I’m sorry. He was just looking out for me, because I was being an idiot. You didn’t deserve this.”
He hesitated a minute, then shrugged. “Well, see, I don’t agree.”
A flash of shock crossed her face before she rolled her eyes. “You think Mac was right to take a piece out of you the way he did?”
“Well, no, but he had his reasons. And you didn’t make him do it.”
Her chin fell against her chest. “Yes, I did. I knew you’d been with Stella that night and. . .” The hammer flipped in circle after circle in her hands.
“And what?” he prodded, loving the way her face flushed so many different shades of pink.
“And it made me mad.” Up came her chin again, challenging him.
Levi couldn’t help but grin. “Mad? Or jealous?”
“Jealous?” she cried, but averted her gaze. “I. . .I was n--”
“Joanna.” He pushed off the log and moved in front of her, easing the hammer from her fingers. He tried not to smile at her, but she was so gorgeous standing there lying through her teeth.
“What?” She crossed her arms over her chest, but she couldn’t hide from him anymore. She was only trying to hide the way her hands trembled.
“You’re a lousy liar,” he said.
If her cheeks went any redder, they’d probably burst into flames.
“Were you jealous?” he asked again.
She flicked her braid over her shoulder and shrugged. “I’ve got no reason to be jealous. It’s not like we. . .like you and I. . .oooh!”
Even though it sent pain spiraling through his head, Levi couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re right. You’ve got no reason to be jealous, because nothing happened between me and Stella.”
Her mouth opened, closed, then opened again, but no sound came out. Piercing green eyes narrowed at him while her teeth worried her bottom lip. If his mouth wasn’t so sore, he’d just lean over and kiss that lip of hers. In fact, he might have to do it anyway – damn the pain.
She blinked hard and stepped back. “But you and Will went to Lefty’s. And yesterday, I saw you--”
Damn. Missed his chance.
“Look,” he sighed. “I went to Lefty’s on Saturday night to get with Stella.” When Joanna’s eyes widened and shimmered, he hurried on. “But I swear nothing happened. And yesterday, what you saw was Stella trying to make something happen.”
Confusion mingled with her wariness. “W-why didn’t anything happen? I thought you and Stella. . .”
Levi blew a long breath between his lips. “D’you really want to know?”
Her head shook, then stilled. “Yes.”
“Okay, but just remember – you asked.”
Joanna slumped onto the log he’d recently occupied. Her hands twisted around the cuff of her shirt and her eyes looked everywhere but at him. For some God forsaken reason, Levi needed her to look at him. He needed to see her eyes when these strange, and probably stupid, words came tumbling out of his mouth. Then he’d know how much time he had to get off the Double M alive.
“Look at me.”
Her eyes flitted upward, then darted away again.
“Joanna. Look at me.” He up-ended another log and positioned it so they sat knee-to-knee. Slowly, she looked back at him, almost as though she was searching his face for something. Not that she’d find anything with all the bruises.
Levi took a deep breath. He could do this. He had to do this.
“Nothing happened with Stella because I. . .I kept thinking about someone else.”
She looked away again, but he turned her face until she looked back at him.
“You, Joanna.” There, he’d said it. “I kept thinking about you. About how you felt in my arms that day, about how I’d never known a woman could feel so. . .hell, I don’t even know what word to use.”
Why didn’t she say something? Anything?
He swallowed and went on. “And I couldn’t stop wondering what the hell I was doing there when you were here.”
Her head started to shake, so he nodded. “Yes. It’s true, Joanna. All I wanted to do was come home – I mean, to the ranch – and find you.”
Two tears tipped out of her eyes and slid down her cheeks. Levi frowned as he wiped them away with his thumb.
“Seems I keep having this affect on you.”
Her bottom lip trembled and her voice crackled. “Why me, Travers? I’m nothing - just plain old Jo.”
Levi let out a snort that made them both laugh. “You’re not ‘just’ anything, Joanna. Sure, you’re as ornery as any bull on this ranch, and sure you’re bossier than anyone I’ve ever met.” He smoothed away more tears. “But you’re also smart, funny and a damn sight sexier than any woman I’ve ever clapped eyes on.”
“Don’t say that.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.
“Why not?” He pushed her hat back and reached for her braid. “It’s true, Joanna, whether you want to believe it or not.”
With the string tossed aside, he fanned her hair out, loving its silkiness as it tickled through his fingers. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hands, letting the rest of her tears dry on her cheeks.
“God, you’re beautiful.” The temptation was too great, her lips too close. He leaned in and touched his mouth to hers, soft at first, testing her reaction. Her bottom lip trembled slightly, but she didn’t pull away, and that’s all the encouragement he needed.
He kissed her again, longer, deeper, until she sighed and parted her lips for him. He traced the edge of her mouth with his tongue, tasting her tears, her skin, her whole being. And damn, if she didn’t respond. Her fingers, shaking slightly, crept around his neck and up into his hair, working their way through the too-long mess; but it felt too good to stop.
She whimpered softly against his lips, drawing him closer. But he couldn’t get close enough – not when they were sitting the way they were. Without releasing her lips, he used his hands to shift her body until they were both on their knees, then he hauled her up against his chest and kissed her hard. Long and hard. Still wasn’t enough.
Shoots of pain radiated through his head, but it didn’t matter; he had Joanna in his arms again and he wasn’t about to let her go this time.
Her fingers found his shirt collar and followed it down to the first button. Levi stiffened all over. He had to stop this – it was crazy. The feather light touch of her fingers against his skin was pushing him closer to the edge of reason, but he was helpless to stop it.
This is what he’d wanted from the first minute he’d met her. This is what he’d needed since that first day.
His mouth left hers to travel the length of her jaw, then down her long silky neck. He couldn’t get enough of her neck. It was long, silky soft, and it led right down to that V in her shirt. He kissed the hollow of her throat, then moved lower. Still she fought with the buttons on his shirt. He couldn’t stand it anymore. With a quick rip, he sent all his buttons flying in every direction. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was feeling her hands against his skin.
Joanna giggled, then pressed her palms flat against his
chest, sliding them over each nipple and down his belly. God help them both if she touched his belt. Just the thought made him harder than he’d ever been.
Her hands were like silk against his skin, her nails scraping gently over his ribs.
He tugged her shirt from the waistband of her pants and slid his hands inside. Damn. He should have known she’d be soft. She might not look it in those clothes, but Joanna McCaine was all woman. Soft, silky and full of curves.
His hands eased over her breasts, pulling a quick gasp from her throat. Then she arched into his palms while her own hands gripped his shoulders tight. Levi left a trail of hot wet kisses at the V in her shirt, then pushed beneath it to reach the silky mound he needed.
Joanna seemed to open herself up completely to him. She melted into his arms, silently giving him everything he wanted. And he wanted it all; every inch of her, every breath of hers, and every last one of those soft little whimpers.
He wanted to give her everything, too. Every inch of him, every breath of his and every last moan she could pull from him.
His heart nearly burst from his chest at the sudden realization. He loved Joanna; loved her more than he ever would have believed possible; loved everything about her – even the way she snorted.
He loved her.
Dammit.
He really and truly loved this woman.
Double dammit.
And because of that, he couldn’t do this. Not there in the middle of the east pasture. And not now, knowing she deserved so much better than him, so much better than he’d ever be able to give her.
Dammit dammit dammit.
“H-hold on,” he stammered, pulling back just enough to separate them, but not an inch further.
Joanna’s eyelids fluttered open. “Wh-what’s wrong?”
He swallowed back huge gulps of air and still didn’t fill his lungs. “This. This is wrong.”
She reached for his chest again. “No, Travers. This is very right.”
“No.” In his haste to back away and stand up, he lost his balance and landed on his backside. Joanna followed.
“Yes, Travers. Don’t tell me you don’t want this.” She kissed him this time, nipping at his lip, pulling it into her mouth and teasing it – and him – mercilessly with her tongue.