“Older women?” Etta said, puffing her hair again. “I never knew that. Did you know that, Betz?”
Jenna couldn’t help her grin as she headed up to her room. The last thing she needed was someone trying to set her up. She didn’t want to belong to any man.
That’s my girl.
Mitch’s words halted her steps for a moment, but she pushed herself to continue on. Especially she didn’t want to belong to him. So why had his words popped into her mind so clearly?
“Hmph,” she muttered, opening her bedroom door.
An hour later she walked out to the stables. There was a lot of activity, with several cars parked in the lot beyond. Two men she’d never seen before were working with a horse in a field set up with jumping gates. On the far side of the stables, Dave and Mitch were working with three teenagers each sitting on a horse. Mitch wore one of his vests and had his hair tied back. Jenna felt as though she’d walked out here a hundred times to see him, as if this were her Saturday morning routine. He was giving a boy instructions on posture and hadn’t seen her yet.
Tawny and Scotty were standing outside the ring watching, and the look Tawny shot Jenna made the eighty degrees feel more like twenty. Maybe last year or even last month she would have retreated, but Jenna had dealt with a lot more than an unfriendly woman who probably considered her competition.
“Good morning,” Jenna said, leaning against the fence.
“Hi,” Scotty said, wiggling his little fingers.
Jenna grinned, wiggling her fingers back at him. “Hi. How come you’re not out there on a horse?”
“‘Cause Mommy says I’m not old enough to learn.” He turned to Tawny. “Am I old enough now? It’s been a long time since I asked you.”
“It’s only been since this morning.” She met Jenna’s gaze. “Don’t give him any ideas.”
“Sorry.” She looked up to find Mitch watching her. He acknowledged her with a nod and went back to instructing. “I didn’t know you taught people how to ride here.”
“We don’t.” When Jenna waited for more of an answer, Tawny seemed reluctant to say, “Mitch does it for free for some of the kids in town. The ones who can’t afford instruction. If they show promise, he sponsors them to go to a riding school north of here.”
“How nice.” She watched Mitch with a whole new appreciation of his warmth.
“Yeah, he’s a swell guy,” Tawny said sardonically. “How long you going to be around, Janine?”
“It’s Jenna, and I don’t know yet. A few days.”
“What is it, exactly, that you’re doing here? I mean, you never came here with Paul, so you don’t really have any ties here.”
The sun felt warm against Jenna’s face, and she closed her eyes to it. “I came here looking for answers.”
“Do those answers have something to do with Mitch?”
Jenna opened her eyes and looked at Tawny. “They have everything to do with Mitch.”
Tawny nodded, eyes narrowing. “Is it because he looks like Paul? He’s nothing like Paul, you know, if you’re looking for a replacement. They never were alike.”
“I know and I’m not looking for Paul’s replacement.”
“You know then, about the vow he made not to get involved with anyone Paul dated? Or married.”
“Yes, I know.”
Tawny kicked the fence post with her boot. “I’m the one who started the vow.” When Jenna gave her a surprised look, Tawny said, “I dated Paul for a few months. When he brought me out here, I got to know Mitch. There was this instant thing between us. I told Mitch that Paul and I weren’t really dating. One minute we were talking, the next, making out. Then Paul caught us, and the next thing I knew, I was out of both their lives. You might want to keep that in mind.”
Jenna caught herself smiling. “I will.”
Tension radiated from Tawny, who stared at Jenna while she watched the kids on the horses. And Mitch.
“Are you the demon Mitch came to me trying to exorcise last night?”
Tawny’s words sunk deep in Jenna’s stomach with claws outstretched. It was Mitch’s voice that interrupted. “Hey.” When he looked at Tawny, something passed between them. Whatever it was, though, wasn’t pleasant. Then he looked at Jenna, and the icky feeling in her stomach melted away. “When I’m done with the kids, we’ll take a ride.” Then he purposely shot Tawny a look that warned … of what? He returned to the kids as they rode round and round the ring.
Tawny turned and stalked toward the stables. From somewhere below, a disgruntled voice said, “I wish I could ride on one of those horses.”
Jenna looked down to see Scotty with his arms crossed in front of his chest, staring intently at the horses in the ring. “Well, I can’t help you there, but if you’d like, you can sit on the top of the fence here in front of me.”
He considered that, then nodded. “I can perr-tend I’m on a horse. Only little kids call them horsies, you know.”
“Well, you’re not a little kid. Someday you’ll be able to ride just like those kids.”
She helped him up and balanced him while he swayed to and fro, making horse sounds. “Someday I wanna own a bunch like Mitch.”
Every time Scotty leaned back against her, she caught the little boy smells of baby powder and something sweet. She wondered what kind of father Mitch would make and shifted her thoughts out of that territory.
A little while later, the parents took their kids home, and Mitch walked over to where she and Scotty were. “Hey, little man, you ridin’ a horse?” He tweaked Scotty’s nose.
Scotty giggled. “Yep, sure am, and he’s twenty hands high.”
“Wow, that’s pretty big, bigger than any of my horses.” Mitch lifted the boy up and swung him around, then set him down. “Go find your mama. We’ve got to head on out, and I don’t want you out here by yourself.”
“Can I come wid you?” he asked, tilting his head and making Jenna want to scoop him up into her arms.
“Sorry, but we’re taking the steel horse. You know how your mama feels about that thing. Go on, now.”
The steel horse. Jenna’s heartbeat stepped up a pace, or was it because Mitch was standing rather close, or that they were alone?
He met her gaze and said, “If you want to slap me for last night, can you at least wait until we’re in the privacy of the garage?”
“What makes you think I want to slap you?”
“You should slap me. I was out of line.”
“But you warned me to leave. And I didn’t.”
He let those words hang for a few seconds before saying, “No, you didn’t.” Then he headed off toward the house, leaving her to follow. “So what were you and Tawny talking about?”
“Apparently you had some demons to exorcise last night,” she said, feeling that odd jealousy swirl through her again.
He nodded, giving her a wry look. “A couple.”
“And did … she help?” She hated the way the words sounded to her own ears.
Mitch stopped in the middle of the patch of trees. The sunlight filtered across his face. “I’m beyond help, Jenna. It’d be best to remember that.”
She nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.” When he started walking forward again, she reached out and touched his arm. He went instantly still. Through their skin she could feel his energy and turmoil. “Paul wants us to find the whole truth.”
He turned back to her, and she dropped her hand. “What do you mean?”
“I asked him why he’d sent me here … to you. In the beginning he’d told me it was to make peace, but we’ve hardly had that.”
He ran his fingers through his hair, looking over at the house for a moment before meeting her eyes again. “Ain’t that the truth. So you think there’s more to find?”
“I’m not sure. He seems to have thought so. But that’s not why he sent me here. He wants us to heal each other.”
He leaned back against the tree as though his knees had given way. “Heal each other?
Did he tell you how he proposed for us to do that?”
“No.”
Mitch tilted his chin up, leaving her to look at that long throat. He rocked his head back and forth a little, then finally looked back at her. “He’d better enlighten us really quick, because what we do for each other has nothing to do with healing. Come on.” He grabbed her hand and started leading her toward the house, but let go a few seconds later. It was such a natural move, she’d hardly thought it was inappropriate.
“We can take the Bronco if you want,” he said, walking up to the open garage. Etta’s Cobra was gone.
“The steel horse is fine,” she said, liking the sound of the words. “Where are we going?”
“To pay a visit to Becky’s father. I want to ask him some questions about that night. I thought you might be able to pick up some vibes. When we come back, we’ll go into my parents’ room and do the same.”
After he eased the helmet over her head and put on his own, he backed up the bike and started it. She climbed on, used to the feel of the engine, the seat, and of Mitch’s body as she slid her arms around his waist.
It was easier to be angry at herself than Mitch, especially when she was snuggled up against his back and enjoying herself far too much. She focused on their destination, on finding the whole story. Maybe finding the truth was the way they were supposed to heal. Certainly Paul didn’t intend for her to fall for his twin. She closed her eyes.
Yes, she’d fallen all right. For all the wrong reasons, but she’d fallen hard. What had been in Paul’s heart when he headed for that telephone pole? Had he thought to bring together the two people he loved knowing they would connect? Her eyes popped open. Was this how he wanted them to heal, by falling in love?
Mitch took a left turn and rode toward town. She realized she’d increased the pressure of her hold on him and eased up. She couldn’t believe that Paul would want such a thing. He just wanted them to clear his name, if he wasn’t guilty. Or maybe find out the real reason he had killed his parents.
People waved at Mitch as they passed through the cluster of stores, but their gazes lingered on the two of them much longer than the greeting. Who was that woman beneath the helmet, they were probably wondering. Heck, even she didn’t know anymore.
Sometimes she felt like that little girl living in a desolate village holding a dying baby and feeling helpless. But she saw glimpses of a woman standing tall and strong, turning away from that sad past and walking forward. What she couldn’t see anymore was the woman who had been married to Paul, who had loved him with everything she was.
Mitch took one of the side roads and headed south for several miles before pulling into a long driveway with stone bunkers on either side. Not as impressive as Bluebonnet Manor, but the property stretched out for quite a while. The house was a simple two-story, and both it and the yard looked neglected. Weeds sprouted from around the porch, and the house needed a coat of paint. Jenna had seen houses that looked far worse, but their spirit still showed. This house, however, spoke sadness to her.
Mitch stopped and let her get off, then put down the kickstand and joined her. “His rig’s not here, but I’ll see if anyone else is around. He’s probably on a road trip. I don’t see the semi.” A dusty Ford truck was the only vehicle in sight.
No one answered, and they headed back to the bike. “Do you get anything from Paul’s heart? Becky didn’t live here back then; they lived in an old trailer. The trailer park isn’t even there anymore.”
“I don’t get anything. What is it you hope to find out from him?”
“I want to know if Becky was out of town during the times Paul took money from the account. I want to know if they were in touch over the years. I want to shake him up a bit.”
That prospect of Becky and Paul being in touch didn’t hurt the way it had before. Maybe she couldn’t hurt anymore when it came to Paul.
Or maybe your heart is otherwise occupied.
She didn’t know where those words came from. But she did realize that the inner voice had said her heart. Hers, not Paul’s. She looked up to find Mitch watching her.
“I still don’t think he was cheating on you. Not the way he felt about you.”
“You know what? I can handle it if he was. I might be mad at him, but I already am anyway.” She looked up at the house, then back at Mitch. “Do you still feel his feelings?”
“No. Just those few times.” His gaze dropped to her mouth for a second. “I never kissed you for Paul, and I never loved you for Paul. I’d like to use that as an excuse, but I can’t. He had nothing to do with it.”
He walked over to the bike and put his helmet back on. She did the same, settling once again behind him on the seat. While Paul had wrapped her in a cloak of lies, Mitch was brutally honest. He was beating himself up over their kisses, over their lovemaking. He said he’d never loved her for Paul. Did he love her? Did she know what love really was?
All she knew was that everyone she thought she loved died. Her parents had said they loved her once in a while, but they’d robbed her childhood. Her grandmother was as driven to save lost souls as her parents, and she had died, too. And Paul often said he loved her, but he’d been a lie. Mitch was the worst prospect yet for loving her. He’d dragged her into facing the truth, regretting it only when it was too late. He’d made her lose her precious memories, made her question what she’d had with Paul.
But he made her feel. Now she wondered if she’d ever really felt before. And without Mitch, would she again?
Chapter 13
One of the Bluebonnet Manor traditions was a huge Mexican feast on Saturday nights. Everyone who worked at the stables was invited, and Betzi covered the kitchen island with colorful, ceramic plates and bowls of everything from tamales (not the kind in jars) to enchilada casserole, her own creation. Etta sat next to Dave, spending a lot of time regaling him with stories of her weightlifting victories. Tawny provided the animosity while Scotty provided the entertainment to offset it.
Mitch provided prickles of self-awareness, but Jenna was also super-aware of him. The way the deep blue of his shirt set off his blonde hair, the way his white pants hugged his derriere, the grace of his hands despite the callouses. Even the way that one lock of hair had a mind of its own, separating from the rest and curling over his forehead. She doubted Mitch would be embarrassed if his woman grabbed that derriere. With Mitch it would probably be the start of something sexy and fun.
When he glanced up at her, she realized she’d been staring at him and turned to listen to Scotty, who was telling Mitch he wanted to be a cowboy and gather the cows in every night. He’d make sure none got away, he assured Mitch with an earnest nod.
“You’ll be the best cowboy anyone ever saw, little man.”
“Maybe I should be a cowman, then, huh?”
Jenna had never been comfortable in crowds of people, even small crowds. But except for Tawny, everyone made her feel a part of the group. They asked her safe questions about what she did for a living and New England, and she told them about watching whales and the historic gardens in Oceanside. No one asked much about Paul, though she was pretty sure no one but Betzi and Mitch knew she’d received Paul’s heart or that she was even a transplantee. She was a normal woman without peculiarities, at least on the surface.
Feeling warm and accepted, she excused herself to freshen up. She remembered the powder room by the foyer and found herself primping her hair, checking her teeth. She squared her shoulders and looked at her reflection. She was smiling, really smiling. All those years living with just Paul, she thought she’d been happy. Paul had stolen her twenties the same way her parents had stolen her childhood. Her smile faltered. Anger was familiar, more comfortable than any of the new experiences she’d encountered. Even the charm of family traditions.
She stared for a long time at the woman in the mirror, wondering just who she was.
The strange pull started when she left the powder room. She found herself turning left instead o
f right, walking through the lounge that opened onto the gathering room. Mitch seemed to find the family room more comfortable for his gatherings, so the room was quiet and empty of the conversation that drifted from beyond. And that’s where she wanted to go, but Paul’s heart, it seemed, had other ideas.
The door to the master suite was hidden around the corner from the bar, but Jenna went right to it. The door was closed, but she didn’t hesitate as she turned the knob and pushed it open. The room was immense, with a marble fireplace and a column-flanked alcove that looked out to the backyard. This beautiful room was filled with discarded furniture, boxes, and other items, used only for storage, tainted by murder.
Mitch had intended to bring her in here earlier, but when they’d returned to the house, Dave asked him to look over an injured horse. She hadn’t even known where this room was, but Paul had.
She leaned on the wall by the door, resting her cheek against the cool surface, fingers grazing the gold-plated switch plate. The image flashed before her eyes without warning — a man and woman lying in a gilded sleigh bed, covered in blood, lying oh-so-still. And that agony racked her body, shaking her to her core. Her knees buckled and she grabbed for something to keep her from falling.
That something turned out to be Mitch, who caught her from behind. His arms slipped around her waist, and he held her against him.
“What happened? What are you doing in here?”
She blinked, tried to gain her balance. His hands were still holding her shoulders, and she felt brave enough to look where the bed had been. Nothing but the gaudiest pool table she’d ever seen, adorned with carved ram’s heads at each leg and coated in gold. “I saw them.” Her voice was a harsh whisper. She turned toward Mitch, her cheek brushing his jaw. “Your parents.”
His body stiffened. “Where? How?”
“Paul. He was in here. It felt the same way it did when I felt his anguish in his old bedroom. But this time I was in here.”
“What were they wearing?”
“There was so much blood, it was hard to tell. I think she was wearing a pink nightgown. It was shiny, with tiny straps. He — your father — was wearing maybe a white T-shirt, but he had the sheets pulled up to his stomach. They looked like they were sleeping, but they … weren’t.” Her voice hiccupped as she remembered again.
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