“Just leave them outside your room, and I’ll take care of them.”
“I can do them myself. I don’t want to put you out.”
“Nonsense! I —”
“Get paid for it, I know,” Jenna said, finding herself liking Betzi more and more. “I wish I’d had someone like you around when I was growing up.”
“Well, you got me now.” Betzi leaned against the counter. “Since the, well, the murders, Mitch has made me feel more than a housekeeper. His parents were formal as far as the help was concerned, but Mitch insisted I eat dinner with him, play my music, whatever I wanted. He’s the one who called me the queen of the manor. But I’m not really the queen. I’d be glad to step aside for someone more worthy of that title.” She winked, then waved Jenna off. “Go, watch the football Bobs and come back ready to eat the best ribs in East Texas.”
Jenna paused, finding her soul becoming more and more entrenched in this place. “Thanks, Betz.”
Jenna went up and changed and found a lawn chair in the garage. She threaded her way through the pines, feeling déjà vu wrap around her. A sunny Sunday, the rock and roll, men shouting and laughing. It was that day last week — was it only a week ago? — all over again. The sound of Mitch’s primal yell as he weaved through the guys without shirts who tried to stop him. But his victory wasn’t joyful, because as soon as he’d passed the white chalk line, he ordered the guys to get right back into position. His hair was loose, gray shirt damp over his chest.
Jenna emerged from the trees the way she had last week, just as the guy in front of Mitch hiked the ball. Mitch looked up, the way he had last week, as if he’d sensed she was there. Their eyes connected, she stopped breathing … and Mitch got tackled.
“Focus, Bob, focus!” one of his teammates said to Mitch after looking over at her. “You’re falling apart, man!”
Mitch gave his head a shake. “You don’t know the half of it, Bob.”
Jenna forced her gaze away and headed over to where Tawny, Scotty and Etta had set up their chairs a short distance from the playing field. She chose to sit next to Etta, but wasn’t too sure about the decision when Etta raised her fist and yelled, “Okay, shirtless boys, time to come back! Get those cute little buns of yours in gear!” She turned to Jenna. “I always root for the ones that show the most skin.”
Scotty gave her that wiggly-fingered wave of his, and then set off after Harvey, who was running back and forth on the sidelines. A minute later, Scotty came up behind Jenna’s chair, peering around the back. “The smiley face is still there! I went and checked after church.”
“I’ll bet the elves will come back and make a new one tonight,” Jenna said, catching Tawny’s curious glance. “Be sure to check in the morning.”
Jenna reached out and tweaked Scotty’s tummy, and his laughter made her feel higher than any drug ever could. She wanted to hear that kind of laughter all the time, wanted to experience it herself. It was too easy to picture a little boy with gray eyes and dark blond hair with one errant lock that always wanted to hang over his forehead. Her heart had given her a new life; had Mitch done the same?
The ball went sailing through the air, and Harvey followed Mitch as he ran back to catch it. Scotty followed Harvey, barking just like the dog.
“You drew the face in the sand?” Tawny asked.
“Yeah.”
They both watched Scotty run over to the ring and peer through the railing, as though he suspected the face would disappear the same way it appeared.
Tawny shook her head. “It’s all he’s talked about.” She gave Jenna a begrudging smile. “Who would have figured something so simple would take his mind off his daddy. He was supposed to come visit yesterday.”
“I’m sorry.” Scotty had run around to the far side of the ring. “Sometimes magic comes from the most unexpected places,” Jenna said, finding her gaze sliding to Mitch, who was throwing the ball to another player with enough force to send it half-way across the state. The guy caught it in the chest with a loud Ooof and went tumbling backward.
“Hell, Bob, what’re you tryin’ to prove?” he grumbled when Mitch lent him a hand.
“I’m into the game, that’s all. If you had been too, you’d have caught that ball and got us the point.”
A couple of the guys in the vicinity gave Mitch a questioning look, but he stalked back into position. They looked at each other, then shrugged. Mitch reeked of impatience and intensity. Wherever the ball was, so was he. He tackled whoever had the ball with ferocity and pushed anyone in his way out of it.
It wasn’t long before the scent of ribs floated their way. Jenna couldn’t help but grin at the way the Bobs lifted their noses to the air, just like Harvey was doing. Mitch, however, ordered them back to the game. Some of the men grumbled, others glanced her way. She fought the urge to shrug apologetically for causing Mitch’s behavior.
Etta shook her head and with a sigh, said, “I hope I never get too old to appreciate men.”
Jenna followed her hungry gaze to the playing field, where Mitch was bent and poised to catch the ball. His skin gleamed with sweat, muscles flexed with his movements. Unfortunately, she remembered all too well what that body looked like naked, what it felt like against hers. Her fingers tightened on the arms of the chair and her insides stirred at the memory. She felt Etta’s hunger, too, but only for one man.
All those years with Paul, she thought she’d been satisfied sexually. He’d done the right things, the required things. But he’d never lit her on fire, never made heat pool in her lower belly and at the tips of her breasts. Since the transplant, she’d felt guilty about not taking her second chance at life with gusto. Well, now she wanted to do just that, wanted to wrap her legs around his waist and pull his body down close to hers …
He chose that moment to look over at her, and Jenna sank low into her chair, feeling warmth bathe her face. Could he sense her thoughts? Perhaps, because he caught the ball and let out that primal scream that sent shivers down her body as he barreled through his friends. Two of them grabbed him and sent him to the ground.
“Half time!” Dave shouted, taking the shirt tucked into his waistband and wiping his forehead with it.
Etta walked over to the water cooler and started dispensing cups of cold water. Tawny got up and stretched with a cat-like grace that made Jenna feel awkward.
“You’d better do something about him,” Tawny said, nodding toward where Mitch still lay sprawled out on the grass. “Before he kills someone.” Then she wandered over to the cooler where the men clustered.
“He wouldn’t kill anyone,” Jenna said, though she didn’t know if Tawny heard. Was it that obvious, the electricity between her and Mitch, the current that threatened to short-circuit them? Her chest grew tighter as she watched him push himself off the ground and saunter over, looking all kinds of dangerous with that gleam in his eye.
She remembered the punching bag and how he used that to eradicate his anger. He stopped in front of her chair, and she met his eyes. “What do you have left after the anger goes away?” she asked.
He leaned down, bracing his hands next to hers on the arms of the chair, and kissed her. Just like that, without any warning or preamble, or thought to who might see them, he assaulted her mouth, opening it and plunging his tongue inside. It only lasted a few seconds, though the sensations rocked her thoroughly.
“Besides an aching body? Something a lot scarier than the anger, babe, believe me.”
And then he pushed off and sauntered over to the cooler. Jenna didn’t — couldn’t — bring herself to even look over to see everyone’s reaction. She heard low whistles and murmurs from the men, but couldn’t concentrate on anything but Mitch’s words. What was scarier than the anger? For her, the monster that waited behind her anger was loneliness, emptiness. But Mitch couldn’t possibly feel that, not with all his friends surrounding him.
Her heart, that heart that had generated both pain and hope and now confusion, thrummed inside her ches
t, making her fingers tighten. There was something scarier than even the loneliness: love. She didn’t want to need a man again, didn’t want to open herself up for the kind of pain Paul’s lies caused. Paul had demanded nothing from her; Mitch wanted it all. Worse, she wanted to give him all, more than she’d given Paul, more than she’d even known was inside her.
But how much of it was real? How much was her physical heart versus her inner heart?
“Girlie, you’ve been holding out on me!” Etta dropped down into her chair and gave Jenna a pointed look. “Here I been trying to hook you up with Dave, and you’re already long gone for Mitch.”
“Well, not long gone …”
Etta snorted, shaking her head. “I know long gone when I see it. I just thought it was aimed at the wrong guy.”
Jenna blew out a breath. “I’m still not sure that it isn’t.”
“Girlie, you could do a lot worse, a lot worse, let me tell you.”
The Bobs reassembled on the field, and for the first few minutes, Jenna felt as though every one of them assessed her. She found herself brushing her finger against her lips, back and forth as she remembered the way Mitch’s mouth felt on hers. Tawny didn’t even look her way when she returned. Mitch looked more relaxed now, apparently not bothered by the reaction his kissing her produced. He didn’t barrel down even one guy during the first play.
On the second play, however, one of the Bobs twisted his ankle and went down. Mitch and Dave helped him up, but he couldn’t put his weight on the ankle.
“It’s only sprained. I can move my toes, but I’m out of the game.” He limped over to where the women sat and dropped gingerly down on the grass. “Anyone want to take my place?” he asked kiddingly.
“I will!” Etta said, jumping to her feet. “I’ll take on any amount of testosterone!”
“I can play,” Tawny said, also getting up. “I could stand to knock some heads around.”
Jenna guessed exactly whose heads she meant.
Some of the guys grumbled. “We can’t play with women. We’ll have to be … gentle.” As though that were the equivalent of putting on a dress.
“Why not?” another guy said. “We can play the second half for fun. Besides, Mitch has run us ragged; I could use some easy play.”
“If you both play, then we’ll have uneven teams,” Dave said.
“Jenna here can play, too,” Etta said, pulling her to her feet. In a low tone, she said, “You can play, can’t you? With your heart, I mean.”
Jenna stared at the men waiting to hear what she’d say. Play football? With a bunch of guys? Well, she wanted to experience life, didn’t she? “Sure, I can play. Just tell me what the rules are.”
“No tackling the gals,” Mitch said. “Put your hands on their waist like this …” He demonstrated on Jenna, placing his hands on either side of her waist. “And they’re considered tackled. Watch your hands, boys.” In a lower voice, he asked her, “Sure you want to do this?”
“This might work better than a punching bag.” But at the moment, she didn’t feel that anger, only an increase in her heartbeat at doing something she’d never done before.
“No tackling?” Etta yelled. “Why, where’s the fun in that?”
“We’ll take Jenna and Etta,” Dave said.
One burly looking guy asked, “Are our new teammates going to take off their shirts, too?” He was giving her a sly look, making her face flush with the realization that he was talking specifically about her! Goodness, why would anyone want to see her without her shirt, scar notwithstanding?
“Stuff it, Carl,” Mitch said in a growling voice that made Jenna smile. He walked over to the boom box and put in a new CD. “All right, let’s play!”
“What group is this?” Jenna asked as he walked by, determined to learn about these rock and roll bands.
“Queen.” His gaze lingered on hers for just a moment before he joined his team.
Queen. Betzi’s words came back to her, about stepping aside for a new queen. Jenna shook her head and walked over to where Dave was giving his team, and particularly Etta, instructions. Mitch was moving his head to the song, a song Jenna had a suspicion was called, “Fat Bottom Girls.” She thought of her own bottom, definitely not fat or even nicely rounded.
“Jenna, you got that?” She focused on Dave, embarrassed at having drifted. “Try to get the ball if you can, and run that way. Cross the line, and we get a point.”
“Got it,” she said. “Let’s show the Bobs what the Betties have, Etta.”
The only team Jenna had ever been part of was with Paul, working on old homes together. This was something entirely different, and within a few minutes, she felt the rush of working with her teammates, passing the ball, completing the play, and the disappointment of getting “tackled” by one of Mitch’s teammates.
They huddled, conferred, planned their strategy. She hadn’t done anything so physically exerting in years, hadn’t felt the sweat gushing from her pores, hadn’t felt the high of breathing hard after running. Last year taking a shower was exhausting. Now she was playing football of all things, using her body in a way she’d never used it before. Reaching new heights, using her potential.
Realizing how out of shape she was.
Neither Tawny nor Etta were hardly breaking a sweat, but Jenna had to brace her arms on her thighs and bend over to catch her breath. An hour on the treadmill every day obviously wasn’t enough.
“You all right?” Mitch said as everyone regrouped.
“Great,” she huffed, then smiled at the concern in his face. “Really. I haven’t given my new heart such a workout since …” Her face flushed, because the last time she’d felt so alive with her heart and blood racing was when she’d made love with Mitch. “In a while. I need to build my stamina, that’s for sure.”
“There are ways to do that,” he said, leaving the options wide open.
She watched him walk back toward his team and was struck anew by his grace and the confidence of his stride. Snapping out of it, she got ready for the next play.
An hour later, they were planning their last play. Dave looked over at Jenna: “I’m going to throw you the ball, and I want you to run with it. We’re tied, and this is the final play of the game. Etta, cover her. Bob, you, too. Okay, let’s get ’em!”
Within seconds, the ball was in play and headed right for her. She wanted to win for the team. Her legs were achy, arms tired, but she wanted to win. She grabbed the ball and ran for it. Etta nudged Tawny out of the way, which was probably good since the woman had a wicked gleam in her eye as she’d headed right at Jenna. Etta ended up landing on top of Tawny. Another guy shoved her protective Bob out of the way, but she kept her eye on the chalk line not far away.
And then Mitch jumped out in front of her. She tried to dodge him, but he lunged forward and caught her around the waist … and lifted her right up on his shoulder, the way he’d done back in New Hampshire. He ran with her, light dancy steps that made her cling to his damp skin. He twirled her around, crossed her own touchdown line, and set her down on the grass.
“You win,” he said, leaning over her and panting.
“But you tackled me.”
“But I carried you over the line. Guess we’ll just call the game even.”
“Mitch.” She exhaled, feeling crazy and light-headed and confused as she looked up at him. She loved him. No matter that he was sweaty with grass clinging to his cheek, no matter that he had stripped her defenses and left her wanting him, needing him. Damn the man. Did she have to let down all her safe barriers to feel alive? Would she have to cut out her heart to know whether what she felt was because of Paul?
His eyes shadowed, maybe seeing the doubt clouding her own. He pushed up, then helped her to her feet. “I hear ribs and Lone Stars calling our names,” he said, letting go of her hand and cupping his ear.
Cheers went up all around. Some of the men walked toward the stables and washed themselves down with hoses. Tawny and Scotty went
inside, and the rest of the guys started heading over toward the house. She and Mitch walked with them, surrounded by talk and laughter and Etta going over some of the plays.
“Later we’ll see if Becky’s dad is back,” Mitch said, not looking her way.
“We can wait until tomorrow.”
“No, I want to see him as soon as possible. I need to put it behind me, whatever it is we find.”
“All right, we’ll go after we eat.”
Jenna walked beside Mitch, but he felt far away. She’d gotten a glimpse of joy, of love, and happiness. They edged into her soul, brighter than she’d ever felt. But reaching out for them, pulling them close, meant dropping the protective cloak that kept the hurt away. It meant risking her heart in a way she’d never risked it before, like when it had been taken out of her chest for those few minutes before the doctors had put in Paul’s heart. First she had to find out how much of her heart really belonged to her, and how much belonged to Paul. Because Mitch would demand it all, without any doubts.
Chapter 15
Mitch hated the upside-down feeling in his head and his stomach, hated that he’d impulsively kissed her in front of everybody, hated that she read him so well, hated enjoying the way her body pressed up against his and the easy way her arms slid around his waist. Eased up behind him on the back of the bike, she felt like his woman. His girl. For those miles they’d ridden with the group of bikers, she’d been his biker chick.
He’d started this journey looking for the truth, and he’d found a lot more than he’d bargained for. He’d found places inside him he didn’t know existed. Now he needed to end this journey by refocusing on the truth. All the answers lay there. He knew this the same way he knew Jenna would free him the moment he’d seen her. Thus far, she sure as hell hadn’t done that.
They pulled down the White driveway, and his fingers tightened when he saw the shiny semi sitting next to house, parked next to the dusty Ford. Alan was back.
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