Safe With Me, Special Edition

by Shaina Richmond

  I held the bong toward him, gesturing to him to take it. He lifted an eyebrow.

  Then I bent toward him, holding in my smoke. Quickly, he put his mouth near mine like he could read my thoughts. He smiled when our lips touched. Then he inhaled my smoke, letting his tongue dance smoothly around mine.

  I pulled away from him and took another hit from the bong. This time I cleared the chamber when I inhaled. I held it in for a few seconds. Tyler took my smoke with a kiss again.

  Mmmm...why didn’t we do this before? This feels good. Probably too good. Now I remember why I keep this thing hidden from myself most of the time.

  My head lay back against the couch. He looked in my eyes as he held my smoke in. Then he slowly blew it out and reached for the bong.

  “So, you smoke?” I asked.

  Tyler shrugged as he inhaled, filling the chamber.

  I tilted my head forward to smell his neck. He always had the most alluring scent. I don’t know if it was cologne or after shave or what. And I saw a little bit of five o’clock shadow.... so fucking manly. Mmm... he was all man. He was like my very own human sex toy. A human sex toy I’d fallen madly in love with.

  SHIT!

  Suddenly I felt like crying. As much as I wanted him, I knew it wouldn’t work out between us.

  Maybe that's why I'm not angry, because deep down, I know it won’t last.

  Tyler put his hand on the side of my face, then leaned down to give me the most incredible smoke-filled kiss. I loved how his jaw moved when he kissed me. I wanted to surrender myself to him. I wanted him to take me away like in the movies. Sweep me off my feet. Take me to a place where we could sit around and kiss and smoke weed and fuck and be happy for the rest of our lives. A place where nobody exists but us. A place where we could start over. Where I could start over. Have a new life. Forget who I was, who I am. Just be there with Tyler, my sweet, masculine, sex machine.

  He took a few more hits, each time blowing his smoke into my mouth. I watched him place the bong and the lighter on the coffee table. Then he turned toward me and kissed me. His hand was on my left breast, squeezing it perfectly. Not too rough, but not too soft. He always knew exactly how to touch me.

  I felt his breathing change as he kissed me. It became harder, more desperate. His altered state had either taken away the last of his inhibitions or made him hornier than usual.

  He lay almost fully on top of me. My back was against the arm of the couch on top of the big red pillow. Every part of my body ached for him to take me... use me... treat me like I was his personal property. I was glad he couldn’t read my mind - he’d know just how out-of-control I felt with him.

  He can’t read my mind, can he?

  Tyler’s body on top of me was almost too heavy but I liked the way it felt. He got louder as he kissed me. His hair fell down around my face; his stubble lightly scratched my chin. He moved his hand away from my breast, grabbing my face with both hands.

  Yes, Tyler. Just take me. I’m yours. Do whatever you want. Don’t hold back.

  His lips disappeared for a second before I felt them on my neck.

  “Oh.. damn,” I said. I could barely talk as his tongue massaged my neck with great precision. His lips were warm and tender against my skin. I bent my head back as far as my neck would let me. That tongue of his was pure magic.

  Tyler stopped for a few seconds to whisper in my ear. “I love how you taste.” Then he went back to where he was, his tongue moving faster and harder against my skin.

  “Fuck!” I screamed. I didn’t want it to stop but at the same time, it was so good it made me need more, like he'd flicked a switch that sent me right to, 'I need your dick.'

  I bit my lip and decided to try to wait it out. No guy had ever had such a strong effect on me. I usually loved foreplay but there was something about Tyler that made me crave him inside me like a physical need. Like there was something deep inside me that only he could touch; a hole that only his big, beautiful penis could fill.

  Damn, that’s cheesy. And dirty. I laughed.

  “What?” He stopped.

  “No, don’t stop!”

  “Tell me why you’re laughing.” He sat up. His mouth hung open. His eyes were watery and a tiny bit bloodshot. Either he’d smoked more than I realized or that was some damn good weed.

  “I just had a thought and it made me laugh. Please go back to what you were doing.”

  Tyler's voice was a raspy whisper. “Tell me how you can laugh while I’m making love to you.”

  Oh my God.

  I almost stopped laughing when I heard the part about him making love to me. His sexy whisper of that phrase sent electricity through my body. But I knew he needed an answer or he might be afraid to ever kiss my neck like that again. “Okay. I was just thinking there’s a hole deep inside me that only your big, beautiful penis can fill.”

  I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe. But the instant I saw his face I calmed down. He wasn’t laughing.

  “Isn’t that the dorkiest, dirtiest thing ever?” I asked.

  “It’s dorky but I’d give anything to hear you say it again.” Tyler took my hands and pushed them over my head to hold them still. And then he kissed me. It was rougher than before, like he'd devour me if it were possible.

  Shit, I love it! I love it when he makes me feel powerless. I love him.

  Damn it. I love him.

  I wanted to cry.

  After a few seconds he let go of my hands and put his feet on the floor beside the couch. It took me a second to realize what was going on. I saw him unzip his jeans and push them down to his ankles. Then he pulled his boxer shorts down. They had narrow green and white stripes, and for reasons I can’t explain, they made me really happy.

  “Okay, let’s get you out of these.” Tyler unzipped my jeans and yanked them off as I lay there. “I like this color on your toenails. Your feet are so pretty.” He smiled, playing with the toes on my right foot. My friend Mitzi painted my toenails a pretty, baby pink color at the hotel in Vancouver. Surprisingly, it was the highlight of my trip.

  “Thanks.” The draft of air I felt against my skin made me realize I was naked from the waist down.

  He reached for my shirt and pulled it up over my head. “Sorry. I was gonna take my time and really make love to you but you said the magic words. So I’ll be plowing you instead.”

  “Don’t ever be sorry about that.” Oh my God, you’re so dreamy. I loved it when he took over and told me what he was going to do. I quickly slipped out of my bra. “You’re gonna take your shirt off too, right?” I asked.

  “Sure.” He unbuttoned his flannel shirt and threw it on the floor. Then he took off the gray t-shirt he wore underneath.

  It was so much fun to watch him undress. He has no fucking clue he looks like the cover of a romance novel. Long, dark hair... big, firm torso. He didn’t have a six pack, but he was hard and manly. His chest had just a little bit of hair. My mouth watered at the thought of licking his nipples.

  Tyler got on his knees in front of me on the couch. My left leg was on the floor. He took my right leg and put it over his shoulder. I love it when he does that. He’s really gonna hammer me.

  “So, what’s that you said?” He gave me a smile so big I thought it might hurt his face. His voice was breathless. “Only my big, beautiful penis can fill that hole deep inside you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Say it."

  I tried to keep from laughing. It sounded so stupid. But I loved his sweet reaction to my stupid thought. His red, watery eyes widened as he smiled. I felt the head of his dick right there, ready to take me.

  I lowered my voice and spoke slowly. “Tyler, there’s a hole deep inside me that only your big, beautiful, penis can fill.”

  “That’s so romantic.” He turned his face toward my leg and tenderly kissed my calf that was sticking up in the air over his shoulder.

  Then he looked down at my face with a smile and slid inside me, deep and fast.

  �
��Oh!” My head rolled back. It was exactly what I wanted. What I needed.

  “Did I fill your hole properly?” He grinned.

  It was hilarious but I couldn’t laugh. I knew I’d met my match. I could be dorky with him. Fuck, I could even be high and dorky. Nothing I did scared him off, at least not yet. He was perfect for me. Not afraid to ask a question as stupid as ‘Did I fill your hole properly?’ during sex. He was high, but I knew he was just as dorky when he was sober. He tried to hide it but it was always right there below the surface.

  Damn it. Can’t I keep him? Is my life really that fucked up?

  “Yes,” I said. “You filled me up perfectly.”

  “So you really need my penis?” he asked.

  I took a deep breath. “Yes, baby, I need your penis. Your big, beautiful penis.”

  Tyler carefully licked his bottom lip and smiled. “I love the way you say penis.”

  And with that, he fucked me. Oh man, did he fuck me. Tyler Campbell spread me wide open and laid right into me like he'd entered a human jackhammer contest. I loved how he didn’t need to build up slowly. He just got in there and slammed me. There’s a time for sweet, tender lovemaking and a time for good, hard fucking. And the time for good, hard fucking was right then and there on my couch.

  I don’t know how long it lasted and I had no idea how sore I might be later. But I didn’t want it to stop. I wanted it to hurt. If I was in pain later, I wanted to remember the serious fucking given to me by this powerful man.

  I’m a sick, twisted bitch.

  “Yes! Pound me!” I screamed. The weed had dulled my senses and I might live to regret it in a few hours, but right then I needed him to give it to me with all he had.

  He smiled. His mouth hung open like he was barely able to breathe from working so hard.

  I loved to watch him fuck me. I loved how his hair moved, how his body moved. I loved the look on his gorgeous face when he closed his eyes and concentrated.

  “Oh, Susie!” He was close to finishing. “I love you!”

  “I love you, too!” Shit!!! What? Maybe he didn’t hear me. Maybe I didn’t say it out loud.

  His mouth opened and he groaned like an animal until he finished and collapsed on top of me. Usually he rolled away somewhere. He’d never let his weight fully collapse on me like that before.

  Tyler’s sweat dripped down onto every part of my body. His skin was clammy and wet. His arms were behind my back, between me and the big red pillow. He kissed me so hard, I thought I tasted a tiny bit of blood.

  Oh, what the hell? I threw my arms around him and let myself go. I kissed him back like my life depended on it. His back was sweaty. The long hairs that fell around me stuck to my face.

  It was quite possibly the greatest moment of my entire life.

  We lay there on my couch, our bodies entwined in one big, wet, sweaty heap of flesh and drug-induced afterglow.

  I didn’t mind that he was so sweaty. It was a reminder of how much he'd worked, fucking me hard because I’d turned him on so much. After a few minutes of sinking into his kiss, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I never wanted that moment to end.

  But end, it did. Tyler pressed his hands into the sofa and hovered over me. “Wow,” he said.

  I smiled. “Yeah. That was really something.”

  He pushed himself up and found his boxer shorts on the floor and pulled them on. “Shit,” he whispered, shaking his head.

  I was still in the same position, reclined back against the red pillow. Tyler sat down on the floor below me, his back against the couch.

  My fingers ran through his thick, damp hair. “You think it was so good because of the weed?” I looked at the bong sitting on the coffee table. I was ready for another hit.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I guess it might’ve helped but I think...” He swiveled his body around to face me. His eyes widened. Then he touched my arm. “What the hell’s this?”

  I looked down at my left arm. Fuck! I’d forgotten all about it. It had been there almost a week.

  “Did I do this?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “Well, what is it?” He stared at my arm. “Who did this to you?”

  My upper left arm, near my armpit, had a few bruises from something stupid that happened when I was in Vancouver.

  Tyler’s mouth hung open. He repeated his question in a more urgent tone. “Who did this to you?”

  “It’s really nothing.”

  “No, it’s not!” He looked in my eyes like he was scared for my life. “Sweetie, who the fuck did this to you? Someone grabbed you so hard they left bruises. I can see the outline of a hand.”

  “It’s not a big deal." I had a fleeting thought to make up a big lie about getting caught in airport security but I knew I'd never remember it later.

  “Are you kiddin’ me? Tell me who did this!”

  I shook my head. “Stop asking me so many questions. I guess I just bruise easily.”

  Tyler gritted his teeth. He turned away from me, sitting on the floor with his back against the couch. He stared straight ahead. "Are you ever gonna tell me what the fuck's going on with you?”

  Damn, what a loaded question. It wasn't that simple. No matter what I already felt for him, I knew I couldn't throw everything away for a guy I'd only known for two weeks; a guy who could get drunk and tell everybody everything.

  Yes! There's my reason. A wave of relief washed over me as I pondered how smart I was to find a new reason for not telling him.

  Tyler turned back around to face me. “So, you’re never gonna tell me?”

  “I don’t know.” I sniffled. Tears? Where did those come from?

  He took a deep breath. “You’re a complicated woman.” His elbow rested on the edge of the couch. He put his face against his palm and stared at the bruises on my arm.

  I really need those to go away, fast…

  “Look,” he said, “I’m not trying to be nosy. I’m just worried. If you’re in some kind of trouble, please tell me.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not in trouble. Can you hand me my panties?”

  “Sure.” He looked down at the floor. A few seconds later he held my underwear. “These are pretty. Same color as your toenails.” He grinned. “Need some help?”

  Before I could answer, he stood up and carefully lifted my feet. Then he smiled and pulled my panties up to my hips.

  “You’re so sweet,” I said.

  Tyler knelt down beside me. His hand gently cradled the back of my head. “I love it when you need me.”

  Shit. Tears. I had to get up before he noticed. “I'll be right back.”

  I sat up without looking at him. Then I ran off to the downstairs bathroom. I locked the door and turned on the fan, hoping it would drown out anything he might hear.

  Then I sat down on the toilet and cried like a baby.

  It felt like tears would force their way out of me no matter how hard I tried to stop them. It was all too much. Tyler had complicated everything. He’d completely uprooted my world. I couldn’t sweep my feelings under the rug anymore. There was no more room.

  I imagined how it might be if I told him to leave.

  What if I lie and say I’m really angry with him for breaking my trust and I don’t ever want to talk to him again? Could I get rid of him that way? It’ll hurt and I'll probably cry hysterically. But that's why God gave us weed and Valium.

  Yes. I can do this. I don’t need him. These are just feelings. They can't be trusted... they're illogical. I'm good at making them go away. How can they be real, anyway? It’s barely been two weeks since I met the guy. No way I’m in love.

  I was wrong. I’m not in love. I’m just high. I can still make him go away. This never happened.

  I never walked into that coffee shop. I went straight home to study that day. I didn’t bring him home with me. I didn't fall in love.

  This never happened.

  I unrolled some toilet paper and used it to wipe my face. Then I stood
up, prepared to tell him to leave.

  I’ll tell him I sobered up in the bathroom and I realized I can’t trust him. And I’ll yell at him until he leaves...tell him he’s a traitor. I’ll just pretend like nothing ever happened when I see him in class. Let Kate have him if she wants him so much.

  Anything would be easier than telling him the truth. If I tell him now, it’ll scare him off. And if I tell him later, he’ll get mad at me for not telling him sooner. It’s best to rip off the bandage now. It’ll hurt like my Brazilian wax, but it’ll hurt less than if I rip it off later.