“I know.” The one thing in my life which was certain was that my Aunt Lydia was always somewhere worrying about me.
“Even more than usual.” I heard her catch her breath. “I really wish you'd talk to your brother and sister. They miss you.”
“Fuck them.”
“Susanna Michelle!”
“I don't believe they miss me at all. I've taken care of them. I've made my peace. Stop nagging me.”
“They don't want your money, Susie. They want their sister.”
“They've gone this long without me. I think they'll be just fine.”
“You'll regret it someday.”
“Look, you and Mom were close. I was never close to those two.” It always felt like Tabby, Matt, and Dad made a secret pact to treat me like shit. My nose started to burn and tears filled my eyes but I kept talking. “I’m really tired of everybody nagging me about this. I'm an adult and I'll make my own decisions.”
“Now, Susie, that was a long time ago...”
“And besides, I saw Ashley at Eugene's house. She was always more like a sister than a cousin.”
“Oh, Lord...”
“What? You always say I need to get closer to family. I hadn't seen her in a long time.”
“You were never a good influence on each other. She got in so much trouble for not telling us where you were...”
I'd had enough. “I gotta go, Lydia.”
She inhaled quickly. “Alright. Fine. Let me know how things go at dinner. And remember what I said about enjoying yourself, okay? Just let yourself have fun.”
“Okay.” I wiped tears from my eyes. “I'm sorry about cussing at you. I'm just sick of the nagging.”
“I know. Please answer the phone when I call tomorrow and let me know how dinner went.”
“I'll try. Love you.”
“Love you too, Susie.”
As soon as I ended the call, I realized my munchies had gone away. I didn't even feel like smoking again. Instead, I changed into some sneakers and sweats and unlocked the door to my workout room. I found my new DVD and popped it in to learn some new dance moves for the next half hour. It was the perfect thing for taking out my aggression.
At least the garbage about talking to Matt and Tabby took my mind off of Tyler for a little while.
Susie
8 pm
“You look so pretty, honey.” Tyler turned to me as we came to a red light. “I'm really glad you're here.”
He looked back at the road and hit the gas slowly a few seconds after the light turned green. It wasn't like him to be such a passive driver. He was obviously in no hurry to get to our destination. But he looked like he had gone out of his way to look nice for his mom. Instead of flannel or a faded zip up sweatshirt, he wore a nice black sweater. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, which was something I'd only seen him do one other time since I met him.
“Thanks.” I squeezed his thigh. “So, is there anything I need to know about your mom before I meet her? Like, why you're so nervous about this?”
He had already seen her once that night. She and Ernie stopped by his house for a few minutes on their way to the hotel.
He put his hand on top of mine as it sat on his thigh. “Yeah. It's a long story. I wasn't planning on telling you about it yet.” He inhaled slowly. “You see, Mom sorta went crazy after Dad died.” Tyler paused for a moment, staring at the road. “I mean, I still love her, you know? She's my Mom. It just wore me out.” He rubbed my hand. “I hope it's okay that I pressured you into coming.”
“It's alright.” I patted his thigh. It was really sweet, the more I thought about it. As long as I constantly let Lydia's words go through my head, I should be fine. It's just dinner. It doesn't mean I have to marry him.
“So, as I was saying.” Tyler cleared his throat. “Mom just couldn't handle Dad being gone. It didn't help that the business was in such bad shape. Dad wasn't a numbers guy, I guess. After he died, we found out his accountant was pretty worthless. Mom didn't even wanna help get it all straightened out. She'd call me constantly. Anything that came up, no matter how little it was. I thought it would stop eventually but it took such a fucking long time. And by the time it finally stopped I'd already had it.”
He made a right turn. “So I left school for about five years. I wasn't sure I was ever gonna come back full time. I took some part time classes here and there at the community college because that's all I could handle. I tried to keep the business going. Tried to sort out the books. Tried to keep my brother and sister in line. But that's another story.”
I sat quietly, waiting for him to continue. There was a lot more to Tyler Campbell than I could have imagined. Not that I thought he was shallow before. I just had no idea he'd had such a rough time since his dad died. For a brief moment, I wondered if maybe I should tell him a little more about my history with my family.
About a minute passed with Tyler vacantly staring straight ahead at the road. I hoped it would be a good time to ask a question.
“Who's this Ernie guy?” I asked.
“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Tyler's eyes opened wide. “I guess I should give you some history. He’s actually a really good guy.” He paused to shake his head and groan. “He came into our lives about a year and a half ago, after my mom found Jesus.”
“What's wrong with finding Jesus?”
“Are you serious?” He glanced at me for a split second.
“Yes, I'm serious. I don't judge people for finding Jesus.”
He cleared his throat. “Well, I guess there's nothing wrong with it, if that's what you're into.” Tyler gave me another glance. “It's just that Mom got really into it there for a while. All this Christian music playing all the time. Crosses and stuff all over the house.” He inhaled deeply as he made a right turn into the hotel parking lot. “I guess it wasn't too bad though. Church kept her busy. And that's where she met Ernie.”
“Oh really? Like, at a singles group or something?”
“Yep.” He pulled into a parking space and stopped the car. “We're here. Yay.”
“Come on, it can't be that bad.”
“I just remembered how embarrassing they are.”
“It'll be alright. I can handle it.”
He snorted. “Okay.” Then Tyler faced me with that sweet, dreamy look in his eyes. “I so wanted to be alone with you tonight.” He put one arm behind my back, and his other hand in my hair.
Suddenly he pulled me forward and gave me a long kiss. I had a feeling it was due to procrastination but I didn't care. I made a conscious effort to savor the feel of his tongue against mine and live in the moment. My hands crept around his back, feeling his soft sweater.
When his face touched mine I could tell he had shaved since I saw him earlier, but he still felt rough. I loved it. Fuck, he's all man. I got wet thinking about the strength and power that man's body possessed. Not to mention his agile precision and attention to detail.
It was then I remembered the dull ache in my inner thighs from where he'd shown me that strength and power earlier. It had never turned me on before to have a guy be so rough with me and make me feel so powerless, but something about Tyler made me long for him to leave his mark on me. The pain was my way of keeping him with me all the time, kind of like being branded.
I’ve set the feminist movement back at least fifty years.
Tyler has definitely gotten to me.
Shit!! Stop thinking about it!
I almost forgot where I was as I sunk into his kiss. He practically had to push me away. “Huh?” I said.
“Damn it. We have to go.” Tyler winced like he was in severe pain. He turned to stare vacantly out the windshield for a few seconds before opening his door.
Moments later, we walked through the parking lot to the automatic door. Tyler's Mom and Ernie had chosen to stay in the most expensive hotel in town. It was quite fancy inside, with plush furniture and a very professional looking front desk staff, all wearing navy blue hats and uniforms. We wa
lked past them toward the restaurant on the first floor.
“Uhh... what should I call your mom?” I asked.
“Leona.” Tyler put his arm around me as we walked down the hall.
We stopped outside the restaurant entrance. “Fuck.” He craned his head to look inside the sparsely populated room. “Maybe this wasn't a good idea.”
“Why? Where are they?”
He cleared his throat and withdrew his arm to his side. “Sorry I’m so weird about this. Follow me.”
I could see a white haired man with a white mustache and a dark haired woman sitting at a table in the back. They were both very animated, talking with their hands, sitting very close to each other on one side of a booth.
“Is that them?” I asked.
“Yep.” He looked straight ahead and walked slowly, like he was marching to his own death.
“Your mom's really sparkly!”
“Yep.” His tone was distant and flat.
Leona Campbell wore a pale blue floral patterned blouse. Certain flowers on the print were enhanced by either shiny beads or sequins. I couldn’t tell which. Her hair was slightly longer than shoulder length, but it was big. Not huge like a bouffant, but full of volume, like her hair routine involved hot rollers and a large quantity of hair spray. And, quite possibly, some teasing. It was a bit lighter than Tyler's almost-black hair.
Her large chandelier earrings sparkled wildly, even in the rather dim light of the restaurant. She reminded me of the loud Southern women I used to know.
Ernie had his arm around Leona, telling her something that made her laugh. He had a lot of hair but it was all white. He was rather well-dressed in a short-sleeved blue button-down shirt that almost matched the blue in Leona's blouse. From a distance he appeared to be a lot older than her but I wondered if it was just because of the hair color.
Leona started waving when we approached. Then she slid out of the booth and ran toward Tyler with her arms out. “There he is! My sweet boy!”
He bent down and put his arms around her. “Hi Mom.” She came to his chest, even with her pale blue patent leather high heels.
I walked around them to see Tyler's face as he hugged his mom. He held her tight with his eyes closed.
She stepped back and looked up at him, holding his hands. “I've missed you so much.”
Before he could respond, she turned to me. “You must be Tyler's friend.” Her eyebrows rose, then she smiled and held out her arms. “Come here! I'm a hugger!”
I laughed and put my arms around her. “It's nice to meet you.”
I definitely recognized her perfume from somewhere. It smelled nice on her but it was a bit loud for my taste. I also caught the distinct scent of Glamour Sheen aerosol hairspray.
As she hugged me, I looked up at Tyler. His eyes were big. I wondered if he would've mouthed “I'm sorry” like he did earlier when he was on the phone, but he knew Ernie might see him. He had nothing to be sorry about, as far as I could tell. His mom seemed like a very sweet, colorful lady so far.
She stepped back a little from her tight squeeze on me, keeping her hands on my shoulders. “I'm Leona. You're Susie, right?” Her well made-up eyes, complete with powder blue eye shadow, looked directly into mine. Her high heels made her tall enough to be at my eye level. I thought we might be about the same size, too, but her blouse was loose and over-sized, so I couldn’t tell for sure.
“Yes. It's very nice to meet you,” I said.
“Nice to meet you, too.” She kept her hand on my shoulder and turned to Tyler. “She's so pretty.”
Tyler nodded and smiled at me.
I stood there, stunned. Tyler had told me almost nothing about his mother. She was somehow the polar opposite of any woman I could have imagined.
“Hello there.” Ernie’s hand was on my shoulder, right above Leona’s. “I don’t like to hug other women in front of this one so I’ll just shake your hand.”
Leona laughed and moved her hand from my shoulder to Ernie’s. “Oh, you!”
They turned to each other and giggled. I glanced at Tyler. His lips were pressed tightly together. His eyes met mine, widening for a split second.
Ernie stretched his arm toward me. “I’m Ernie Lesko. Pleasure to meet you.”
“Pleasure to meet you, too, sir.” I shook his hand.
“Firm grip. You mean business, don’t you?” Ernie adjusted his glasses. He was a portly man, slightly taller than Leona.
“Well, people judge you by your firm handshake. My grandfather taught me that,” I said.
Ernie’s mouth dropped open and he turned to Leona. “We were just saying that the other week, weren’t we?”
“Yes!” Leona said.
Leona and Ernie took turns speaking very quickly and passionately about firm handshakes as we all sat down at the table. Their words came out too quickly for me to follow along. I smiled and nodded each time they occasionally made eye contact with me. Apparently, there was a possible vendor they chose not to do business with because his handshake was weak. And he also had some sort of off-putting smell they couldn’t quite identify.
Tyler stared at the two chatterboxes across the table as I slid into the booth next to him. As a quiet show of support, I sat closer to him than ‘a friend’ probably should have, especially since the tall wooden booths were spacious enough to comfortably allow three people to sit on each side. I let my left leg brush up against his right leg and placed my hand on top of his knee.
Almost immediately, I felt the warmth of his hand as his fingers gently curled under mine.
My chest felt weak, like someone had painlessly knocked the wind out of me.
Wow, I care about him. Is that what this is?
Something about sitting next to Tyler and holding his hand in an effort to soothe him made me feel connected to him in a new way. I had no idea what kind of history he had with his mom that made him so uptight, but I knew I wanted to comfort him, and not in the same way I comforted my other friends when they needed it. I had the sudden urge to be alone with him and quietly hold him in my arms.
It was mushy, sweet, and terrifying all at the same time. I liked holding his hand. In fact, I think I liked it too much.
When I looked up at Tyler, he gave me a subtle grin and squeezed my hand a little tighter.
“Oh, it’s so nice to see you.” Leona reached across the table and grabbed Tyler’s other hand. Her eyes looked watery. Her smiled looked pained. “You don’t know how much I missed you.” The smile on her face changed to a playful scowl. She turned to me. “He should be ashamed of himself for never calling his mother.”
“I call you,” Tyler said.
Leona’s head shook. She let go of his hand and slapped it gently before holding it again.
“It’s okay, I’ve been keeping her busy anyway. We’ve had a lot of new business,” Ernie said.
“Oh yeah?” Tyler said.
Ernie smiled and put his arm around Leona. “Yeah. People are always looking for a good deal, and I know how to give it to ‘em.”
“What kind of business are you in?” I asked.
“I’m a CPA. I was supposed to be retired but I can’t sit still very long,” Ernie said. “I thought I’d give it up but it’s a lot more fun when you don’t really need the money.” He sighed and shook his head. “I told Tyler here he could come work with me when he gets out of school but he’d rather be underneath a car with a wrench.”
Tyler shuddered. “I can’t sit at a desk the rest of my life.”
“It’s more than just sitting at a desk. We have a lot of fun, don’t we?” Leona turned to Ernie, who smiled and nodded enthusiastically as he pulled her tighter. They both giggled like they had an inside joke.
I looked at Tyler. He stared in my eyes and tightened his grip on my hand.
It was then the waiter came to our table to take our drink orders. Leona and Ernie each wanted a Gin Rickey. I ordered water. Tyler started to order water but changed his mind and ordered a beer when Le
ona whispered something in Ernie’s ear that made him laugh again.
“So,” I said, “you work together? Is that how you met?”
“Well, it’s kind of complicated.” Ernie looked at Leona. “Would you like to tell the story?”
She let go of Tyler’s hand and grabbed Ernie’s arm. “You start. I’ll fill in the blanks.”
“Okay then.” Ernie cleared his throat. I wondered if I was in for a very long story. “I retired and moved to Montana about three years ago.”
Safe With Me, Special Edition Page 26