“I think she’s great. She’s sweet. She and Ernie seem really happy.”
“Yes. I’m so glad they’re getting married. It’s a relief.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I’m afraid to say. You’ll think I’m terrible.”
“No I won’t. You can tell me anything.”
“You know, somehow I believe that.” He put his hand on my knee.
Everything about Tyler turned me on, even more than usual. Seeing him in those pictures made me look at him differently. He wasn’t just this sexy guy I constantly fantasized about. He was somebody’s son, and somebody else’s brother. He played sports, dressed up for festivals, and looked exactly like his dad.
I’m way too attached. Fuck!
“Well,” Tyler continued, “as soon as they told me they were getting married, I thought ‘she’s not my problem anymore.’”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. Think I’m terrible now?”
“No, of course not. I don’t know exactly what happened after your dad died but I can tell you went through a lot.”
“It was bad. Just really, really bad.” He sighed. “You see, I didn’t realize it til after he died, but Dad didn’t have three kids. He had four. Mom was more like a sibling than a mother, in a way. She clung to him desperately. He made all the big decisions and dealt with her craziness in ways I'll never understand.”
“Craziness?”
“Yeah. Couldn’t you tell? She’s silly. She’s just not like other moms. She gets excited about really stupid shit. It’s like she’s always playing.”
“You think that’s a bad thing? Because she’s not serious all the time?”
“You don’t understand. She’s almost never serious, unless she’s upset with me for something. Like, when she wouldn’t let me drive home after drinking three beers. It’s so fucking annoying. When we were kids it was fun. Once in a while she’d keep all three of us home from school and let us each junk food and watch movies all day.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And sometimes she’d play music and we’d all dance around like we were having a party. We never knew when it would happen. Just one day, she’d say ‘you’re not getting on the bus’ and we’d stay home and it was great. She and Dad would fight about it when he got home, but he’d always just end up laughing and telling her he loved her. They balanced each other out really well. He was a fun guy too, but not like her.”
Tyler took a deep breath. “Then there was the makeup. She got really into it. She made manager or whatever. She was the biggest seller in the region for a few years.”
“That’s impressive,” I said.
“Yeah, but she used to practice makeup on me and Aaron when we were little.”
“What? You mean, on your faces?”
“Yes.”
I looked at Tyler. His face was so serious, I knew I had to keep my laughter inside. “I’m sure that was very traumatic for you. How old were you?”
“It stopped when I was nine or ten. Please don’t tell anyone.” He groaned. “She’d make it seem like a game but as I got older it was just humiliating. She cried when I told her I wouldn’t do it anymore. Aaron went along with it for a little while longer. He'd do anything for a bag of M&M's when he was little.” He stopped to shake his head and chuckle. “It’s not like it was all the time, but it was often enough to scar me for life.”
“And that’s the reason you hate the makeup,” I said.
“Not just that. I had to fucking work that business for her after Dad died. On top of everything else.”
We pulled up in front of my house. I turned off the ignition and handed him the key. “I’m really sorry your mom put you through that.”
He smiled. “It’s okay. Thanks for being nice to her.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. A lot of people just look at her big hair and her makeup and think she’s nuts. But you just went right along with her.”
“What’s that say about me? That I’m nuts?” I laughed.
“No. It says you’re awesome.” He sat up and grinned at me. “You get along with anyone like you’ve known them forever. I’ve seen you do it a lot. You’re so easy to talk to.”
“Really? I guess I just like people. Especially when they’re a little unusual.”
“That’s really interesting, considering how closed-off you are,” he said.
“Closed-off?”
“Yeah. You hide so many things. How many locked doors you got in there?” He nodded toward my house.
I sat there, unsure how to answer. I looked out the windshield for a few seconds, then back at him. “Look, I’m just a private person.”
“Why?”
“Just how I am.”
“No, it’s not. You’re scared. That’s why you’re private.”
I unlocked my door. “Let’s go inside.”
Tyler laughed softly and opened his door. “Okay.”
How dare he tell me I’m scared? I had reasons for keeping those doors locked. Mostly, for fear that my friends would never leave my house if they knew what was in some of those rooms.
“Okay, I’m unlocking a door,” I said as I turned the key to let us in the house. “Prepare to be amazed.”
“Fuck you,” he said.
“I’d love to.” I smiled. “But we might go over our weekly limit.”
Tyler gave me a mischievous wink as I pushed the door open and turned on the lights.
“Alright,” he said. “What’s in that room back there?” He pointed. “The one past the bathroom?”
I glared at him with a look that was meant to be intimidating.
“What about those rooms? Up the stairs to the left?” he asked.
I glared at him again.
“Or these closets?” He gestured to the downstairs bedroom. “Or the dressers?”
“Enough questions,” I said. “I have to use the bathroom.”
He crossed his arms and watched me as I sauntered off to the downstairs bathroom.
A few minutes later when I came out, I found Tyler sitting on the couch with a bottle of beer. “Hey sweetie,” he said.
“Hey. So finish telling me about your mom. What happened after your dad died? Unless you don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” I sat beside him on the couch.
“No, I should probably tell you, especially since she’s coming over here for that damned party.” He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “I can’t believe you.”
“What? I said I was sorry.” I knew I need not make that mistake again. He'd brought it up at least three times. “Besides, it'll save you the trouble of entertaining her all day.”
“That’s not the point. She’ll be around you unsupervised. Who knows what she’ll tell you? Or how embarrassing she’ll be?”
“You could stick around if you’re afraid.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m not hanging around here for that.”
I looked at my cell phone and scrolled through my new text messages. “So far I have four guests. Not too shabby.”
“Great. More people who'll get to know my mom. Yay.”
“Tyler, she’s really nice. And she seems like a lot of fun.”
“I know. I just wasn’t expecting this. It was so nice to be away from her." He tipped the bottle toward the ceiling, taking a long drink before continuing. "I just wanted a life separate from all that, at least for a little while. And now, here she is.” He leaned back against the couch. “She lost it after dad died. And then everyone else fell apart.”
“Didn’t you have extended family around though? I thought you said a lot of them moved off the reservation.”
“They did.” He stopped to take another drink. He shook his head. “But they knew how clingy Mom was and they left her up to me. I found out a lot of stuff after Dad died. They tried to help a little but they didn't know what to do. She clung to me like she did Dad.”
He had no idea
how familiar his story was to me. A thought came out of my mouth before I could stop it. “Is your mom bipolar?”
At once, Tyler turned his body toward me. His eyes narrowed, staring at me hard. “How’d you know that?”
“I didn’t. The thought just kind of appeared in my head. When she’d keep you home from school she was in a manic phase, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Would she get really depressed sometimes and stay that way for a long time?” I asked.
“Yes. But we didn’t know it. We’d get shipped off down the road to stay with our cousins for a few days. But it only happened a few times.”
“Wow,” I said. “I went through the same thing. My mom was bipolar too. Depressed most of the time though.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. We’d get shipped off to stay with cousins, too. We hated it.”
“We loved it. Our cousins were fun.”
“Did it get worse after your dad passed away?”
Tyler took another drink of his beer. “Yes. That’s when I found out about it. My uncle told me Mom was doing fine until she hit early menopause at the same time Dad died.” He rolled his eyes. “I know, too much information.”
“Did she try to kill herself or something?” I asked.
His eyes got wide. His words came out slowly. “How the fuck did you know that?”
“I didn't. I just know my mom tried to kill herself a few months after my dad kicked me out of the house. It sent her into a really deep depression.” It was more than I'd told anyone in years.
“Damn.” He poured the rest of his beer down his throat, then sat the empty bottle on the coffee table. “I’m really sorry to hear that.” Tyler stroked my face with the back of his hand for a few seconds. “My mom tried several times. I think she just couldn't handle Dad being gone.”
“Aunt Lydia told me she doesn't think my mom was really bipolar because nobody else in the family is. She swears any woman married to my dad for that long would've ended up on medication.” I thought about telling him more, like the fact that my brother and sister found a note from Dad saying ‘goodbye’ right before the police showed up to tell them about the accident. But my next thought was about how much I hated to think about it. I cleared my throat. “But anyway, it looks like your mom's doing really well now.
“Yeah, she seems like her old self. She shouldn’t be drinking though. I can’t believe she’s ordering mixed drinks now.”
I laughed. “She and Ernie are two peas in a pod.”
“I know. It’s like they’re two halves of the same person. She didn’t even get along with Dad the way she does Ernie. It’s like they just get each other.”
“Yeah.” I nodded.
Tyler turned to me. His gorgeous brown eyes gazed into mine like he knew my deepest thoughts. “I feel like you get me, Susie.”
“Shit,” I said. Tears made Tyler a little blurry.
“You feel it too, don’t you?”
“It’s only been two weeks. I don’t know.”
“It’s okay. You’ll figure it out soon enough.” He smiled. “Why's it so hard for you?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Come on. What do you think I mean, sweetie?” He moved to sit on the coffee table, directly facing me. “Why are you holding out on me?”
“Holding out? You’re the one who limited us to twice a week.”
“You know what I’m talking about.” Tyler leaned forward. My heart raced when I felt his hands on each of my knees. “Why won't you be my girlfriend? Why's that such a big deal? It's not like it involves paperwork or anything.”
“Tyler,” I said. “I have to tell you this. I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend.”
“Never?”
“No,” I said.
“Not even in high school?” he asked.
“No. I barely went to high school.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can't say. You might get drunk and tell all our friends about it.”
“Ouch.” He winced and leaned back away from me. “I deserve that.”
“How are you such a lightweight for such a big guy?”
“I have no idea. In my defense, I drank a lot of beer that night. And I did a lot of tequila shots. I was surprised I could get out of bed the next day.”
A chill passed through me. I remembered the last time I got drunk on tequila. Dry heaves the next morning... a horribly unpleasant experience.
Tyler yawned and stood up. “I’ll be right back.” He walked down the hall to the bathroom.
I sat there, stunned at his words and the events of the past few hours. My mind kept going back to the pictures on Leona's iPad.
I'd learned lot about Tyler in the past three hours. He was a jock in high school. He played the guitar at some point. And he received a full academic scholarship? He told me his dad's insurance policy paid for his schooling. I couldn't figure out why he went out of his way to keep these things from me. It seemed like they would have come up by then.
I thought about how Tyler and I had so much, yet so little, in common. He loved his dad. I hated mine. He was a popular jock in high school. I was a pariah who dropped out and took an equivalency test a few years later.
He's too good for you, Susie. He'll never understand the choices you’ve made. He deserves better.
“Hey.” Tyler's voice in the hall preceded his presence in the living. “I'm tired. You ready for bed?”
“Yeah.” I stood up and walked to the door to set the alarm.
“I'm really glad you have that alarm system,” he said. “I don't like you living here in this big house all alone.”
“I've done it this long. Why? What’d you hear?” I flicked the light switch and headed toward the stairs.
Tyler's arm was soon around my shoulders. We walked a few more feet and stopped at the bottom of the staircase. “What do you mean?”
I raised my eyebrows, unsure if he could even see my expression until his eyes adjusted to the darkness. “I'm not stupid. You guys all talked about me when I was gone. Michael and Corbie get on me all the time about living here alone.”
His hands moved to the back of my head. I felt his lips against my forehead for a second. Then they found my mouth. He gave me a short, wet kiss that made me lick my lips when he was finished. He pulled away. “They just worry about you.”
“I wish they'd stop. It's not like I'm helpless.”
Tyler made a noise I can only describe as a frustrated growl. He took my hand and started up the stairs. “You're a single girl who lives in a huge house all by herself. And apparently, you attract trouble.”
“I do not.”
“That's not what I heard.”
“What'd you hear?” I was shocked. Maybe they said a lot more behind my back than I realized.
Tyler exhaled loudly. We walked the rest of the way up the stairs in silence. Then he pulled me into my bedroom. “Who was the guy who showed up at your door a few years ago?”
“What guy?”
“They said there was a guy with tattoos who started apologizing when you opened the door, and you screamed at him until he left.”
“Oh.”
“Who was he?” He fumbled around for a few seconds, trying to turn on the lamp beside my bed. I had to squint when it suddenly illuminated the room.
“That was a long time ago. I don't wanna talk about it.”
Tyler produced another frustrated growl. “Sometimes, woman... I swear.”
“What? You haven't known me long enough to say something like that.” I saw him about to open his mouth to argue with me but I made sure to cut him off before he could start. “What about you, J.T.? I sure found out a lot about you tonight. I've asked a ton of questions about your family and you obviously hadn't told me anything.”
He sat on the bed and looked up at me with his tired, smoldering brown eyes. “I had my reasons.”
“Maybe I have mine, too.”
Tyler smirked. “
Yeah. But the difference is, I'll eventually tell you my shit. I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. But you just love to keep secrets.”
“That's not true. You ever think maybe I really do have legitimate reasons?”
His head shook. “I have no idea. But I gotta tell you, those bruises on your arm are a little scary. And so's the fact that weird tattooed guys show up out of the blue.”
Safe With Me, Special Edition Page 29