Safe With Me, Special Edition
Page 62
“Was I the reason you couldn’t do it?”
Susie let out a groan. “Yes.” Her bottom lip quivered. “I feel so stupid now. If I’d known you were gonna react like this...”
“React like what? Like a guy who just found out the girl he loves is doing porn and working as a prostitute?”
She rolled her eyes. “Stop throwing that word around.”
“What word? Porn? Prostitute?”
“No. Love. You use it too much.”
“I barely say it to anyone outside my family. And you’re the only girl I’ve ever said it to and actually meant it.”
“Whatever.”
“Don’t ‘whatever’ me, Susie. How the hell am I supposed to react to this? Is there a book written about it? How to handle the news that your girlfriend has sex for money? Because I’ll gladly read it.”
“I told you! I don’t do it anymore. Not since I met you, at least.” Tears rolled down her face and she wiped them with a tissue. Then she screamed--a loud, sharp, painful scream. She balled up her fists. “I’ve had it with this cryin’ bullshit!”
I stepped forward to try to put my arms around her but she quickly backed away from me, stopping at the couch.
She continued, blotting her eyes. “And just so you know, I really am clean. Somehow.” She sniffled. “I was only escorting a few times a year. You’re the only guy I’ve been with since my last exam.”
“The only guy, huh? What about girls?”
Her arms fell down to her sides. The look on her face told me I’d caught her by surprise. “It’s much harder to spread disease that way.”
“That’s not why I asked. Every time you say that to me, you always say, ‘the only guy,’ not ‘the only person.’ You think I wouldn’t notice?”
“What’s it matter?”
“I just wanna know. Did you sleep with your friend? You said her name was Mitzi?”
She bit her cheek for a second before answering. “She and I go way back.”
“So, yes?”
With a resigned groan, she said, “Yes. You and I weren’t dating yet. And it wasn’t on camera. It was just because we wanted to.” She brought the tissue back up to her eyes. “I knew you couldn’t handle it. God, I’m dumb.”
“Wait, who says I can’t handle it? You can’t run me off.”
“Yeah, right.” She let out a cold chuckle as she wiped her face. “You keep telling yourself that.” She looked around the room, shaking her head. “You know, the worst day of my life was when I found out my mom got killed. That was the absolute worst thing, and I told you about it.” Her tears fell down her cheeks, fast. “I guess I didn’t expect you to react so badly to,” she glanced at the pile on the couch a few feet away from her, “everything else.”
“Sweetie, it’s a big shock. That’s all. Try to put yourself in my shoes.” Was she for real? How could she not understand what I was going through? “Hell, Caleb even knew about it. Caleb! That makes me feel like a tool but I’ll get over it.”
“No.” She wouldn’t look at me as she cried. “No, you think you will but you won’t. And if one thing doesn’t bother you, something else will. There’s no way a girl who’s been through as much as me can ever have a normal life. I’m fucked-up. That’s what you’ll think.”
“Don’t tell me what I’ll think. I love you.” I wanted to try to comfort her but I didn’t feel like watching her back away from my embrace again. “My feelings aren’t gonna change just ‘cause you’ve got some issues. Like, I’ll never understand why you’d do porn, especially that kind of porn, if you don’t need the money. But I’m just glad you’ve stopped.”
She shook her head. “Tyler…”
“I guess maybe I sort of expected the escort thing, with your trip and the fancy hotel and stuff. But the rest of it…” I stared at the DVDs. “I didn’t see that coming at all. I mean, shit. You went to church with my mom.”
She dropped her hands and stared at me, her mouth gaping. “So what if I went to church with your mom?”
“Don’t you think that’s weird?”
“What?” Her tears stopped. “That I do porn and I went to church?”
“Well, yeah.”
She gave me a strange, thoughtful look; her tone was biting. “Get out. Get the fuck out of my house.”
“What?”
Fuming, she bent down and started to put the magazines and DVDs back inside the bag. “And take all this shit with you.”
“Wait. I think we just had a big misunderstanding.”
“No, I understood you perfectly.”
“What did I say? I’m sorry. Please, I’m sorry. Let’s talk about it.”
“I’m all talked out.” She turned around and walked toward me, holding the bag out in front of her. “Here. Leave.”
“Come on, baby. I love you. I’m sorry.”
She bit her lip, her head shaking frantically. “No.”
I stood in the middle of the living room and watched her pick up my coat as she ran to the door. She put her hand on the knob and swung her head around to look at me. “I said get out.”
“Honey, please.” I began my slow march to the door. “I’m on your side. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please, let’s just talk like rational people.”
“Okay, so you think I’m irrational?”
I arrived at the front door, trying to make eye contact as she clutched the door knob. “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. Let me stay and we’ll get it all worked out.”
“Just go.” She pulled the door open and extended the coat and bag in my direction. “Now.”
I glanced outside as a gust of cold air blew in through the open doorway. “Come on. Let’s just go upstairs and keep each other warm. It’s all I’ve thought about for days. I missed you.” I reached out to stroke the side of her soft face.
She gritted her teeth and jerked away from me, her eyes focused outside somewhere. “Get out!”
I stood still for another moment, hoping she’d change her mind, but she wouldn’t even look at me. “Fine.” I took my coat and the bag from her arm. “I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Don’t bother. I’ll see you around.”
“What?”
“Out!” Her eyes met mine for a short moment, openly showing her annoyance at my mere presence.
I would’ve done anything to start that day over. I longed for that happy, hopeful smile I saw when she invited me inside; so warm and welcoming. I knew it was still in there, somewhere.
I took one slow step outside and immediately turned around, propping the door open with my arm. I bent my neck around the door and looked down at her. “I love so you much, baby. This ain’t over.”
“Yes, it is. We’re through. Now get the fuck outta here.”
“What? No.” I pushed the door open a little more and stood up straight. “No. We can’t break up like this. It’s stupid.”
“Stupid?” She looked up at me with wide eyes. “No, I was stupid to let this happen. I knew better.” She shivered. “Now leave. It’s cold and I need to close the door.”
“Then let me back inside.”
She groaned. “You know what’s really stupid? A few minutes ago you knew you couldn’t have a contract for illegal services but now you apparently don’t know what ‘get the fuck out of my house’ means.”
I pressed my lips together to stifle a chuckle, and stepped backward to the porch. “Alright.”
Susie slammed the door shut immediately after I cleared the doorway.
I shook my head at the closed door as I put my coat on. How naïve of me, thinking I’d won her over so easily.
She’s just scared, that’s all. How else could she go from being thrilled to see me to telling me it was over in less than ten minutes?
I couldn’t let my mind get caught up in the disappointment that was about to consume my weekend. Not yet, anyway. I had a feeling it would all hit me when I walked into my empty room with nothing to do but let my anger build until Caleb
came back.
Suddenly, the door opened. Susie opened it just wide enough to show her startled face. “I thought you’d be in the yard by now.”
“Can I come back in?”
She smirked. “No. I was just gonna remind you not to get drunk and tell our friends everything, but I won’t get my hopes up.”
Damn, she can really be a bitch...
This time, I didn’t try to stifle my laughter.
“What’s so funny about that?” she asked.
I calmed down and tried to be serious but I couldn’t stop smiling. “You think you can get rid of me. That’s funny.”
“Don’t be my next stalker, Tyler.”
“I don’t have to stalk you, baby. You’re in love with me.”
“Oh my God.” Her voice was whiny with agony. “I’m doing you a favor. Just go away.”
“Do yourself a favor and quit making excuses. You fell in love with me and now you’re afraid. I think you forgot how scared you were.” I paused, gazing in her sad, pretty eyes. “Because I made you forget.”
“No.” She opened the door a little wider and pushed her face forward. “I’m not scared. I’m realistic. You’ll see.”
I bent down almost close enough to kiss her, my eyes fixed on hers. “I want you. And I will have you.” I grinned. “You’ll see.”
“Just go away.” Her eyes closed; she blew out an exasperated huff and closed the door.
Sadness crept through me as I walked down her porch steps. I was supposed to be in bed with her right then, not walking alone to my car with a bag full of porn. But hey, at least I had that bag to keep me company. And I wasn’t just some pathetic asshole who wanted to be with the girl in the magazine. I would spend the rest of my life with that woman. She just didn’t know it yet.
When I started the car, I felt just silly enough to laugh as I picked up a DVD with her picture on the front, using my finger to cover the face of the guy standing beside her. I missed her already.
Mmm… she’s so fuckin’ beautiful. And she’s gonna be mine again.
To be continued…
The End of Parts 1 through 7
www.tylerandsusie.com – for more info about this series
Part 8, tentatively scheduled for April, 2012
Visit this page at my website for more updates about part 8:
www.shainarichmond.com/safe-with-me-part-8
There will be eight parts in total. Upon completion, I will have one final edit and combine the parts in one volume.
The individual parts will be unpublished at all major retailers. I will make them available for purchase at an online location that is still to be determined.
Visit my website and join my email list to receive an email when I release a new part:
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Thank you for reading, and thank you for your purchase.
Shaina
http://www.shainarichmond.com