“What’s wrong?” What could be worse than someone stealing both my virginity and my only weapon?
“An unrestricted gun in Settlement A would be seriously bad news. Especially for the women.”
My gun isn’t the threat he thinks it is, but I can’t tell Jai that without revealing much more than he should know about how I got here. And how I’m planning to get out.
With the loss of both Kenny and our shuttle, I’ll have to turn on the wrist com buried at the bottom of my bag in order to contact Station Alpha and request a rescue. But I’m not going to do that until I’ve found prisoner 2648397. And I won’t be able to do that if I get taken captive in the men’s settlement.
“Okay. Maybe I can rule out Settlement A without actually going there. Are any of the women there older?”
“How old?” Jai frowns. “I thought you didn’t know what this prisoner looks like.”
“I don’t. But I know she’s been here for at least twenty years. So I’m guessing she’s at least thirty-eight Earth standard solar units.” Because she can’t have been sent to Rhodon before she turned eighteen. “But she’s probably a few years older than that.”
Jai’s brows rise as he stares at me. “You’re looking for your mother.”
Shit. How am I supposed to pass for a convict if I can’t even tell a decent lie?
“Did you get yourself sent here just to find her?”
“No, I…” Shit! “Yeah, I guess I did.” Technically.
Jai studies me as if he’s never really seen me, even though he’s pretty much looked at nothing but me for the past hour. “Why would you do that? Why would anyone get sent here on purpose?”
“I…” I clear my throat and stand a little straighter. “My reasons are none of your business. I’m not trying to be rude, but—”
He laughs. “You’ve threatened to shoot me twice, but now you’re worried about being rude.” He squints, as if that’ll help him understand me better. “I’ve never met a convict who’s so into manners.”
“Sorry. I wasn’t issued the convicted criminal’s etiquette guide, but I’m sure I’ll get the hang of coarse and callous in no time, what with your stellar example.”
Jai stares at me for a second. Then he bursts into a deep, rumbling laughter. “Did you just insult me?”
Shit. “That depends on your perspective. And I’m guessing, based on yours, that the answer is ‘yes.’” But at least he looks amused.
“What the hell are you doing here, princess?”
I grit my teeth at the pet name. “We’ve been over this. I’m here to find my mother.”
“Yeah, but that’ll take us a few days, at most. You’re going to be here for the rest of your life. You had your whole damn future in front of you, and I’m guessing it was pretty damn nice. You threw that away just to, what? To talk to a woman you’ve probably never seen before? For that, you’re willing to spend the rest of your—”
I glance away to avoid his gaze.
Jai makes a surprised noise deep in his throat. “You’re not staying.”
Holy shit, has my forehead morphed into a scrolling news ticker, broadcasting my every thought?
I shrug, trying to look casual. “Did I forget to mention the magical powers that let me pull a shuttle out of my ass?”
Jai takes a step toward me, and I take a step back. “You have a way off this rock, don’t you? You’re not here to talk to your mother. You’re here to break her out.”
“No. I’m not trying to break my mother out of prison, Jai. I just want to find her.”
“You’re lying.”
He’s right. But not in the way he thinks he’s right.
I’m here to find my mother and shed some light on the circumstances of my birth and…adoption. To find out her name, and whether there are any genetic illnesses or abnormalities I should be worried about before I start a family of my own. To find out how the hell, if I was born on a prison planet, I wound up raised by the warden on an orbiting guard station.
I want to know whether she gave me up or he took me from her.
But it hadn’t occurred to me to take my mother with me when I leave. Not that my father would ever let me do that.
Not that he’s really my father.
“Can you get me out of here?” Jai asks, and for the first time, I hear a thread of real need in his voice. I see a hint of true vulnerability in his eyes.
Hope. That’s the toxin I’ve accidentally injected him with.
“No. I’m sorry. This isn’t what you think. I’m not escaping. But I can and will give you the gun.” That’s the truth, but I feel guilty for saying it.
My gun won’t do him any good. And if it would, I couldn’t give it to him.
I’m using him. I was using Kenny too, but at least Kenny knew what he was getting into, and I was paying him. Jai will get nothing in return for helping me. And I feel terribly, unexpectedly horrible about that.
But should I? He’s not helping me out of the goodness of his heart. He thinks he’s going to profit from this.
We’re using each other.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “If there was anything else I could do for you, I would.”
His gaze hardens. “I get it. I’m a dirty criminal, and you’re only here on a detour from your real life, just passing through to rescue your mother.” He starts walking again, away from Settlement A.
“No!” I run after him. “That’s not it. I don’t think you’re…dirty.” In fact, I think he’s dangerously attractive. “You’ve been nicer to me than you have any reason to be. Even if you’re only helping me because you want my gun.”
Jai stops walking again and gives me an odd look. He knows there’s something wrong about me, and my acting isn’t good enough to pull this off unless I tell him the truth where I can.
If he figures out my father is the warden…well, he hasn’t tried to hurt me yet, but that’s the kind of leverage any criminal would work to his own advantage.
“What’d you do to get here, anyway?” he asks, still eyeing me as if he’s looking for the crack in my story. I hope he thinks there’s only one.
“I stole something.” Again, technically true. I stole a patrol shuttle. And poor Kenny’s life.
“So, what?” he asks as we start walking again. “You got yourself sent to Rhodon on purpose and paid that shuttle pilot for the private drop-off?”
“Something like that.”
“Was he supposed to come back and break you out? Because that ship’s sailed.”
“So it seems.” I stare at the ground in front of my feet, to avoid his curious gaze.
“Well then I hope you have another guard in your pocket. And that he’s a better pilot.”
“It wasn’t Kenny’s fault. There was an engine malfunction.”
“Kenny.” Jai turns to sneer at me, and I realize using a guard’s first name was a mistake. “I knew you weren’t just paying him. You were fucking him.”
My hand flies before I can arrest the impulse. My palm smacks his cheek with a shockingly loud slap, and before I can even process what I’ve done—what a colossal mistake I’ve made—he grabs my wrist. His jaw is clenched, his cheek reddening by the second.
“You broke your own rule, again,” Jai growls. “That one about touching. Does that mean I get to break the rule too?”
“No!” Shit! My heart slams against my sternum, my gaze captured by his as he glares down at me.
“Then I better hear an apology in the next two seconds.”
“I’m sorry! Okay? You can say whatever you want about me, but don’t insult Kenny. He was a good guy, and he would never… I mean, I’ve never even…” My face burns, and I snap my mouth closed before it can dig me any deeper into this hole.
“Oh my god. You’re a virgin.” Jai’s still holding my arm, and he looks even less likely to release it now. “Princess, you are in the wrong damn place.”
“Don’t call me that. And let me go!” I pull on my arm, but this
time I can’t break his grip. He holds on while we glare at each other, locked in a battle of wills, and I wish I hadn’t stuffed my gun into my bag. I wish I could reach it and aim it at him, to even the power dynamic.
Then, when he’s made his point—that he’s letting me go because he’s ready to, not because I’m demanding it—he releases my arm.
“You’re an asshole,” I snap at him.
“Princess, I am the very least of your problems.” He’s not wrong. “What if whoever’s supposed to pick you up decides not to? What if he just takes the money and moves on with his life? What if he gets caught and fired—or arrested—before he even makes it off Station Alpha? Considering what happened to your last crooked guard, it seems pretty damn likely that they’d be monitoring any future suspicious shuttle usage. Or what if your guard makes it here, but you’re not where you’re supposed to be for the rendezvous? Or what if you’re there, but so are a hundred other inmates, and your hero gets overwhelmed? Do you think he’ll even land, if it doesn’t look safe? How rich are you, princess? How many credits would it take for him to risk his life for a thief?”
Though he doesn’t know it, most of his scenarios are irrelevant—my father would never willingly leave me stranded on this planet. But there will be little he can do, if he can’t find me. If one of the monsters in Settlement A kidnaps me, takes my gun, and smashes my wrist com.
This wasn’t the plan. I took precautions. I took supplies. I took weapons. I took Kenny. But now that’s all fallen apart, and Kenny’s gone, and I’m at the mercy of a criminal. Unless I’m willing to give up without finding my mother and call for help.
“All I’m saying is there are a million ways your plan could go wrong, and you could wind up stuck here for the rest of your life, just like the rest of us. And if that’s the case, you’re gonna need friends. So you might want to stop treating me like an enemy.”
“That wasn’t my intent. I just… You were insulting a guard who died trying to help me, and—”
“He wasn’t helping out of the goodness of his heart. You were paying him.”
“I’ll pay you too.”
Jai’s gaze narrows on me, as if he can see through the lie. “Yes,” he says at last. “You will. Come on. Sunset is in a couple of hours.”
We walk in silence for at least an hour. I think. Without turning on my com device, I have no way to measure the passage of time. Jai seems to be doing that with every glance at the sun, but I’ve never been on Rhodon, or on any other planet, so I have no idea how quickly the Red Rock rotates.
I was so excited about coming here, despite the risks, and not just to meet my mother. I’ve never been on the ground before. Any ground. I’ve never smelled grass or felt the warmth of a star shining down on my head. I thought it would be exciting. Exhilarating. I thought it would be an adventure, like all those stories I used to read about people stranded on an alien planet.
But this isn’t like that at all. Or maybe it’s too much like that.
I’m tired, hungry, parched, and sick to death of red dirt and these horrible wine-colored grass burrs that keep clinging to my shoelaces.
When I realize I’m hearing something other than the wind and our footsteps, at first I think I’m hallucinating. “Do you hear that?” I stop walking and almost grab Jai’s arm, before I think better of it. “Is that…water?”
He stops to listen. “Yeah. I think it’s coming from over there.” He turns toward the gurgling sound, and a hint of a smile turns up the corners of his mouth. For just a second, he looks almost…beautiful. Which is a nice change from the surly expression he’s been wearing ever since I told him I couldn’t get him off of Devil’s Eye. “There’s a stream running through those woods.”
“Thank goodness. My mouth is so dry.”
Jai frowns at me. “Didn’t they give you a water pouch with the rest of your supplies?”
“Of course.” I made sure I took at least one of everything a new inmate would be issued. “Were they supposed to fill it with water?”
“Unless you planned on drinking urine.” Jai snorts. “You must have really pissed someone off in in-processing if they gave you an empty pouch.”
No. I just know a lot less than I thought I did about outfitting new prisoners.
Jai heads for the spot where the stream meets the woods, and I follow, ignoring the blisters my new shoes have rubbed onto my feet until we get to the edge of the water.
Thank god.
I drop onto my knees, then squeal and fall back on my heels when muddy water soaks through the thin material of my pants. Jai laughs while I back away and squat on a drier patch of ground so I can dig my water pouch from my supply pack without getting it muddy.
As reluctant as I am to leave my bag unattended, in case he decides to go snooping, I’m also unwilling to get it wet. So I take the pistol out and shove it into the back of my pants, then I pull my shirt tail over it so he can’t grab it. Grimacing as my shoes sink into the mud at the edge of the water, I squat again and unscrew the lid of my canteen. It’s brand new and still perfectly flat, except for the nozzle.
“Is there some kind of trick to this?” I ask as I hold it over the fast-moving stream. “Or do I just shove it in there?”
“Well, ‘just shove it in there’ is rarely good advice,” Jai says. “At least for your first time.” I look up to see that both his brows are arched with the double entendre. Which I ignore, despite the way his blue-eyed gaze seems to light little fires all over my body. At least he doesn’t look mad anymore. “Pinch the nozzle a little, to make sure it’s open. Then, sure. Just shove it in there. But don’t let go, or you’ll have to chase your pouch downstream.”
I pinch the nozzle and lower my canteen into the water, facing into the current. It’s full in seconds, and I lift it from the stream, but Jai’s hand covers the nozzle before I can bring it to my mouth.
“You can’t drink that yet. It might make you sick.”
“Oh yeah. Thanks.” I hand him the canteen while I head back to search my bag for the bottle of water purification tablets. Naturally, they’re at the bottom, somehow cradled in the curve of my wrist com, and I have to angle the bag away from him to keep him from seeing all the things I shouldn’t have while I dig the pill bottle out. “How many should I use?” I ask as I take the pouch back from him.
“One.” He gives me a disappointed shake of his head. “You really should have paid more attention at in-processing.”
“Hindsight.” I mumble as I try to wrestle the bottle open with one hand.
Jai takes it from me and pops the top off, then digs one tablet out. He drops it into my canteen, then closes the nozzle. “Give it a good shake. Then you’re going to have to wait an hour for it to do its thing before you can drink the water.”
I groan.
Jai rolls his eyes and pulls his own pouch from a loop on his bag, then he hands it to me.
“Thanks.” I’ve already gulped half of it before it occurs to me to wonder why he’s sharing. If he lets me collapse from heat stroke and dehydration, he could just grab my gun and run. “It’s warm,” I note, lightly squeezing the soft pouch in my free hand.
He gives me another one of those puzzled looks. “How would I possibly cool it, princess?”
“You wouldn’t. Sorry. I’m still getting used to this place.” I take one more gulp, then hand the pouch back to him. “Seriously. Thank you.”
He only shrugs, then turns the pouch up and empties it into his mouth. I watch his throat work with every gulp, until my gaze snags on a bead of sweat as it rolls down his neck and soaks into his shirt.
Convicted criminal or not, Jai is hot. I mean, all the guards on Station Alpha are in good shape. They have to be. But there’s something raw and rugged about Jai’s physique. As if he could keep going for days, because he has to.
I bet he could go all night too.
I close my eyes, trying to purge the thought. It sounds dirty, but I don’t even know whether that’s someth
ing I’d actually want. Though I am curious…
“This is as good a place to rest as any,” he says, and I tear my gaze away, hoping he hasn’t noticed me staring. “Why don’t you sit and take a break?”
It’s not that I’m tired. I work out a lot at home—my father always says exercise is imperative for anyone who spends a lot of time in orbit—but I’ve never walked so far, except on the treadmill. “This planet is so hot.” I sink onto the ground and pull my shoes off.
“Only during the day.” Jai kneels at the edge of the stream and refills his pouch, then drops one of his own purification tablets into it. “The sun will go down soon, and the temperature will drop significantly.”
I pull my socks off and drape them over my shoes to let them air out. I don’t think my feet have ever been this sweaty. I miss climate control.
I wiggle my toes in the grass, and the blades tickle. I laugh, and Jai looks down at me. “What’s funny?” he asks.
“Nothing. The grass just…tickles.”
He gives me a look that is part amusement, part confusion, and I realize that no one else my age would be surprised by the texture of grass against bare feet.
I roll my pants halfway up my shins, then stand and head for the water, but before I get there, my feet sink into the ground. Warm mud rises between my toes, and a squeal leaks from my throat before I can bite it off.
That time Jai laughs. “Does the mud tickle too?”
“No, it…squishes. And it’s warm.”
“Have you never walked in mud before?”
No. Nor have I ever walked on grass. Or concrete. Or dry dirt. But I can’t tell him that.
I shrug. “I don’t usually go barefoot.”
He smiles, and his eyes practically twinkle in the sunlight. They’re a distinctive, almost gray shade of blue. “I was nearly twelve before my mom could get me to keep my shoes on. As a kid, I didn’t like them. They made me feel…constricted.”
“Didn’t it hurt, walking on rocks and things?”
Dirty Lies Page 4