by Grey, Helen
“Again?”
“Yes, again.” I shook my head. “And that’s just before I caught him in the supply closet with Vanessa.”
“Jessica, when are you going to report him for sexual harassment?” Melody groaned in frustration.
“When he does something that I can report him for,” I replied. “You know how it is around here… how it is around any hospital. The doctors are Almighty God, and if you accuse one of them, you’d better have proof.” I paused. “I didn’t take pictures for heaven’s sake. It would be my word against his—and Vanessa’s, and we all know that she can lie as easy as she can f—”
“I don’t like it,” Melody interrupted with a scowl. “I don’t like him. He’s a creep. I don’t care if he’s good at his job. He preys on women. Isn’t there any way that you can report him and it’ll stick?”
I shook my head and shrugged. “He knows what he’s doing, and he knows just how far he can push the limit without being accused outright.”
“And Matt?”
“What about him?”
“Jessica, you were ready to kiss the guy!” She almost laughed. “You!”
I sighed. “I don’t know what came over me,” I admitted. “Yes, the guy is good-looking, and he practically oozes sex. I just can’t tell yet whether he’s a player—”
“Of course he’s a player!” Melody exclaimed. “How can anyone that good looking not be a player? You’ve seen him. He’s probably got women throwing themselves at his feet on a daily basis.”
She grabbed hold of my shoulders and gave me a gentle shake.
“Don’t you fall for it, Jessica.”
“I’m not planning on it,” I said, forcing myself to believe the words coming out of my mouth. Still, deep down, I knew I wanted Matt to kiss me. I had never been so stimulated and attracted to a guy as I was with Matt. Never. It wasn’t just his looks. It was his sense of confidence, his sense of presence. It was like he contained a source of energy that was so unique, so compelling, that it was hard to ignore.
“Stop it!” Melody said, uttering a short laugh. “You’re still thinking about him!”
I shrugged. “It’s kind of hard not to. Don’t you think he’s attractive?”
“Of course I do,” she said. “Have you seen the looks the women give him when he passes in the hallway? And I’m not just talking about the nurses. Did you see the way that little Melanie’s mother stared at him while he was taking her vitals?”
“Oh for Pete’s sake, Melody—”
“I can tell you already that Doctor Linder doesn’t like him,” she commented.
“How can you possibly—?”
“Because he’s tall, handsome, obviously compassionate, and everything that Doctor Linder is not. He’s threatened by Matt—”
“Matt didn’t do anything to—”
“He doesn’t have to,” Melody said. “I saw the look that Doctor Linder gave him when he first saw him. You better watch out for him. He’s not only going to make things difficult for Matt, but I’ll bet you donuts to dollars he tries to get Matt transferred to another floor, or out of the hospital altogether.”
I shook my head. “That’s ridiculous—”
“Mark my words,” Melody shrugged. “And I guarantee that it will happen even faster if he sees you ogling Matt like you have been since the moment you laid eyes on him.”
“I haven’t been ogling him!” I denied. Had I? Had my attraction to him been so obvious? Then again, Melody was my best friend. Melody wouldn’t lie about something like that.
She grinned. “What about that?” she asked.
She was pointing at my eyes. I frowned at my friend. “What about what?”
Melody laughed. “Every time you look at him, your pupils dilate.”
“What?” I exclaimed, horrified. Double shit. This was not good.
“A bit of advice, girlfriend,” Melody said, placing her arm around my shoulders. “You’re one of the best ER nurses we’ve ever had, and you’re a great mentor. Just try and hold yourself together when you’re around Matt. You want to see him outside of work, go at it. I see the way he watches you when you’re not looking. I have a feeling he’s as attracted to you as you are to him.”
I frowned. If that was the case—
“Vanessa made herself available, like Vanessa always does. I doubt if there’s a handful of doctors, orderlies, or even janitors in this building that haven’t had a go at her. She’s a nymphomaniac… and a slutty one at that,” Melody commented, nodding at her own words as if for emphasis. “What guy wouldn’t turn down a quick blow job? But I can tell that when Matt looks at you, he has more than sex on his mind.”
I thought a moment about what Melody said, and then shook my head, making a face. “What, you’re psychic all of a sudden?”
Melody grinned knowingly. “Mark my words. I’m willing to bet you’ll end up sleeping with him before the month is out.”
“Melody!”
“Jessica!”
I shook my head, made another face, and then left the trauma bay. Melody could finish in here. I could take the cart down to the supply room and restock it, but decided Melody could do it. I headed toward the nurse’s station, empty at the moment. I needed a moment or two to think, to assess.
The hustle and bustle of the emergency department continued all around me. The waiting room just around the corner from the trauma bays buzzed with voices; a child crying, a woman calling to one of the nurses to come look at her arm. Patients needed to be seen, cuts stitched up and bandaged, broken bones set, accident victims taken care of.
I didn’t have time for sex. I had a job to do. A job I took seriously. I would be cutting Matt loose sooner than any of my others, due to his experience. How he did, how he performed, or where he went after that was none of my business. He would be on his own to do as he pleased.
By the time I emerged from the nurse’s station minutes later, I saw Matt at the far end of the hallway, the supply room door closing behind him. Before the door closed, I saw Melody busily restocking the other cart. He saw me and gestured and so I quickly made my way down the hall, the sounds of the emergency room department echoing in my ears. The noise was part of my everyday environment; so much so that it barely registered anymore, sort of like white noise. Phones ringing, people crying, doctors calling out orders, intercoms from incoming emergency personnel crackling. Controlled chaos. That’s what I liked to call it anyway.
Matt approached and I decided that we’d better have a little talk before we finished our shift. I glanced down at my watch and realized there was only fifteen minutes left, so I gestured for him to follow me back toward the nurse’s station, where we could finish up our shift, barring interruptions or swarm of incoming patients. We could finish up our day making notations in charts and preparing notes for the next shift.
“Where’d you disappear to?” he asked as he grabbed the back of one of the rolling chairs and pulled it over toward the computer.
“I had to talk to Melody for a minute,” I replied. I gestured for him to sit in front of the computer while I took the position he had taken earlier in the shift. “You should get used to our dashboard system,” I suggested. “I want you to prepare the nurse’s notes for the woman you helped take care of. What was her name?”
He glanced at me. “I don’t know,” he said. “I was going to ask, but Dr. Linder cut me off.”
“So let’s take a look at her chart.” I pointed to an iPad tablet laying on the counter near the computer. “The tablet accesses the EMR system we use here at the hospital…” As I directed him through the steps to access the dashboard of the system and then to log on to gain entry into the database of information on the patient, I was pleased to see that he was paying close attention and focusing on his task. He proved to be a quick learner, which didn’t really surprise me. Nothing about this guy surprised me.
As he tapped on the screen and then transferred information into the hospital’s main computer system, I
wondered what had drawn him into nursing. Then again, what had drawn me into nursing? Why did most people, men or women, go into the nursing field? It certainly wasn’t money. Nursing was hard. A lot of work, even more stress, oodles of frustration, and moderate pay at best.
“Finished,” he said.
I glanced down at the tablet and then at the computer screen, comparing the data. “Okay, after you click Save, all this data goes to the health information department. Everything will be updated into the hospital system’s database and input into the tele-health system as well. Her primary physician can access the information of everything that happened here, access her chart, and coordinate her care from his office in the event that he can’t get here to see her this evening.”
“She’s not going to be released?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea, but it’s doubtful. I would assume, with half her scalp lifted from her skull, that they’re going to observe her for a while for signs of subdural hematoma. Even if she is released, I doubt she’d leave the hospital, not with her daughter here.” I shook my head. “I hope they’re able to save her leg.”
Neither of us said anything for several minutes, and then I looked up at the clock and realized it was time to clock out. “Shift’s over. We’ll clock out, and then you can walk me to my car. We need to talk.”
Five minutes later, we emerged from the building. The sun was just beginning to descend into the western horizon, but the early evening air was cool and a slight breeze tugged at my hair. I sighed. I loved my job and wouldn’t trade it for anything, but there were times like today that I really wished I had a full-time job that I could do outdoors.
“What do you want to talk to me about?”
I got right to the point. “I’ve been told that you’ve alienated one of the doctors—”
“Doctor Linder?” Matt asked.
I nodded.
“He’s a prick.”
Startled, I almost laughed. “Didn’t take you long to peg him, did it?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t say anything earlier because I didn’t want to embarrass you for one, and for two, I’m not familiar with how things work at this hospital. But I did see the good doctor leaving the supply closet just moments before Vanessa did. I could tell by the look on his face and the smirk he gave you what had been going on in there.”
I said nothing, surprised that Matt had seen and not said anything.
“Look, I know stuff like this happens in the workplace—any workplace. But what’s the protocol here? Has that happened before?”
I nodded. “It’s a tricky situation,” I explained. “I can’t report him without evidence to back it up. You see, Matt, we’re just nurses… and as you know, nurses don’t have that much power when it comes to the doctors and surgeons.” I shrugged. “Most of the physicians here are good people. Still, there are some, like Doctor Linder, who take advantage. I’ve seen it happen elsewhere too. Santa Fe General is not unique.”
“He’s an arrogant ass,” Matt said. “But your point is well taken.”
I nodded and began to walk toward my car, not really surprised that Matt kept in step with me. I didn’t want to be rude and tell him to go away, because to be honest with myself, I didn’t. Still, I had to be careful. I was his mentor, even if it was only for the next couple of days. We would also be going on the ride-alongs with the paramedics in the morning. I was supposed to set a good example, but I didn’t suppose there was anything wrong with him walking me to my car, was there? Besides, it was getting dark, and I appreciated the escort.
“So, Jesse—”
“Jessica,” I sighed.
“So Jessica, what do you do in your downtime?”
I glanced up at him in surprise. “Why?”
He shook his head. “Just an attempt at friendly conversation.”
We were steps away from my car now. I pulled the keys from my purse and pushed a button on the remote. My headlight and taillights flashed, and then I pressed another button. The back window popped open. Reaching for the door handle, I opened the door toward me. I looked up at him only to find him staring at the contents stowed behind the rear passenger seats. “What?”
He grinned. “For one, I just didn’t expect you to drive a Jeep,” he said, shrugging.
“Really?” I asked. “And what exactly did you expect I would drive?” Was he flirting?
“Oh, I don’t know, a Camry maybe, or a Ford Focus.”
I frowned and made a face. “I do a lot of driving between here and Colorado—”
“Seriously?”
I tucked my purse inside a plastic storage crate near the door like I always did, wondering why he stared so curiously at the items in the back. “Yes,” I replied. “I have several friends up there and we get together several times a year—”
He gestured to the supplies I kept for wildfire fighting neatly organized in the back of the Jeep. Ropes. First aid kit. Helmet. Protective gear. He then focused his attention on a pile of supplies tucked up against the back seat. A claw tool. A fire ax, shovel, and beneath the pile, the edge of a firefighter’s helmet. He stared from me to the supplies and back again.
“What?”
“You’ve got quite a rig back there,” he commented. “Mine is almost exactly like it.”
I smiled. You’re an independent contractor too, own your own rig and gear?”
“Most of it,” he said. “If I’m close, I drive, which I’m sure you do as well, considering your choice of vehicles.”
I laughed. He had me pegged. It was a common practice with most contracted wildfire firefighters, hotshots and smoke-jumpers, especially those signed on with the National Forest Service or other agencies. Other than that, independent contractors like us would be grouped into teams and flown into trouble spots by the agency in charge, along with their equipment.
He gave me an appraising look. “Advanced ACLS?”
I nodded. I was Advanced Cardiovascular Life Support certified.
He grinned. I felt an odd sense of pleasure and pride.
I closed the back door and then turned to move toward the side of the Jeep. I thought he was going to step back, but he didn’t, and once again, I bumped into him. Felt his rock hard chest. My hand brushed up against his pants and I realized that he was sporting what I sensed was the beginning of a hard-on. Seriously? Just seeing my rig got him off?
He gently placed his hands on my shoulders until I regained my balance. He stared down at me, his expression serious. “I’m just going to throw this out here, Jesse—”
“Jessica,” I said, although my voice only came out a whisper.
“I’m attracted to you,” he said bluntly. “I know you’re my mentor, and I appreciate that and recognize the boundaries. At the same time, as you obviously just felt, I do have to admit that I’m attracted to you.”
I stared at him a moment, not sure he had just said that. Was he always so blunt? Again I felt the heat of the blush travel up into my cheeks, although I doubted he could see it in the growing darkness. Thank goodness for small favors. Desire surged through me. Would it really matter if I admitted the same? I quickly shook my head. Foolishness. I had enough to do without getting involved with someone like Matt. He was obviously a player. I too had seen the looks women had given him today; the contemplation, the open desire in many of their expressions. I might feel the same, but I certainly wasn’t going to admit it. I wasn’t as easy as Vanessa, that was for sure.
“Want to go have a drink, talk about this?”
I took a step back even though I longed more than anything to throw my arms around him, feel his lips on mine, and make out with him. “I don’t drink.”
“I don’t either, really,” he grinned. “Would it be totally inappropriate if I kissed you?”
The switch in topic startled me. “Yes,” I said, my eyes not leaving his for a moment. Nevertheless, I didn’t move as he slowly leaned over me. He was going to kiss me. Every nerve in my body anticipated it while my brai
n kept shouting at me to walk away. Still, I had nowhere to go. My back was practically pressed up against the side of the Jeep. Matt was standing so close to me that I felt the heat emanating from his body. The truth of the matter was, I didn’t want to escape. I wanted him to kiss me. I just wouldn’t say the words.
He obviously didn’t need them. At first, the touch of his lips was light, feathery, and oh so soft. Then, the pressure gradually increased until I responded. Boy did I! My ears began to ring and I vaguely heard the sound of keys dropping. Oh God, I had never been kissed like this. I refused to contemplate exactly how skilled Matt was at kissing when the tip of his tongue caressed first my upper lip, then my lower one, gently urging my lips apart.
He braced his hands on the hood of the Jeep on either side of my head as his kiss deepened. I didn’t know what to do with my hands, so I tentatively placed them on his waist. I felt his muscles clench at my touch. Oh God. His tongue was in my mouth, swirling, tangling, and teasing mine. After the briefest hesitation, and quite instinctively, my tongue did some tangling of its own.
In seconds, I felt dampness in my panties and my nipples hardened. I felt the pounding of my pulse in my neck. Never in my life had I been kissed so thoroughly, so seductively, and his hands weren’t even touching me! Yet. The kiss lasted for what seemed like forever as my bones turned liquid and I felt myself trembling. Then, as suddenly as it began, he lifted his lips from mine, stared down at me a moment, and then straightened.
He cleared his throat. I removed my hands from his waist as he bent down to retrieve the keys I had dropped onto the asphalt. He handed them to me and then grinned.
“Come on, Jesse, let’s go grab a bite and a coke or something. Talk some more.”
I didn’t even try to correct him about my proper name as he turned and began to walk toward a cluster of cars in the next row of vehicles. My body burned with desire even though I tried to tamp it down. Never in my life had I… if the kiss hadn’t stopped when it had, would I have stopped it? Would I have done what I wanted to do? Would I really have unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock like I had watched Vanessa do with Doctor Linder?