by Grey, Helen
I had a feeling that I wouldn’t soon forget our little rendezvous in the McDonald’s parking lot. In fact, I had a feeling that I would never drive by that particular fast food restaurant without recalling the pleasure I had experienced behind the building.
Damn Matt and his good looks. Damn his charisma. Damn his sexual charm, and most of all, damn his skills!
The next morning on my way into work, I resolved that I would not treat Matt any differently than I had the day before. After all, he had made no declarations, asked me to date him or otherwise, so I would assume, even though I didn’t want to, that what we had enjoyed in his truck was nothing more than a one night stand of such. At the same time, I could only wonder what the hell had been running through my mind that caused me to fall so quickly to his charm, charisma, and overwhelming sexuality.
Could I really be so easily swayed by a handsome face? Obviously, I could, but it was more than that. It didn’t hurt that Matt and I shared something other than nursing. We were both wildfire fighters. I had never met anyone in Santa Fe General that had volunteered to do anything, not even after Katrina, and finding a kindred spirit in Matt had touched something deep inside me.
While I knew what had driven me to undergo the rigorous and exhaustive training of a wildfire fighter, I still didn’t know what prompted Matt to do so, other than the fact that he claimed to be an adrenaline junkie. Still, there were plenty of things that guys, and even women, could do to generate that same excitement. Sky diving, triathlon competitions, race car driving… but he had chosen to be a wildfire fighter. I knew there was a reason behind it.
Maybe we could talk about that some today while we were on the ride-along with the paramedic unit. Time would tell. I sighed, still feeling a bit shy and self-conscious about being around him today, especially after the sex in his truck. Still, I resolved that when I walked through the doors of the hospital, I would behave like the ultimate professional. Inside these doors and on the ride-along today, my focus would be on my job, taking care of patients, saving lives, and whatever else I could do to be helpful.
As I entered the side door of the emergency room department, I was bombarded with the sounds of activity. So much for a calm, quiet day. Passing through the swinging double doors that led toward the far side of the unit near the nurse’s station, I froze. There, at the far side of the short hallway that led to the break room, I saw Matt. My smile of greeting faded as I realized that he towered over Megan, the diminutive blonde staring up at him with google-eyes, licking her lips and not unobtrusively giving him a body check.
I couldn’t tell what expression Matt wore, but did notice that he had both hands resting on the wall just slightly to the side and over Megan’s head. For an instant, I felt a sense of betrayal rush through me, but then I shook it off. Why the hell should I care? I didn’t own him. Still…
“Good morning, Matt,” I said, raising my voice slightly as I strode down the hallway and headed toward the nurse’s station. “Ready for the ride-along today?”
Megan peeked around Matt’s shoulder and gave me a scowl. A second later, Matt pushed away from the wall and turned toward me, looking as if he didn’t recognize me. What the hell? Then he grinned and nodded, moving toward me.
“You bet,” he said. He paused to glance down at Megan, practically sticking to his side like glue. “I’ll catch you later, okay?”
Megan, wearing her pouty face, nodded and then turned toward the stairwell. She pushed the doors open and disappeared inside. I gave a slight shake of my head as Matt stopped beside me. I felt confused, unsettled. Why was I reacting like this? I didn’t own Matt. In fact, I had no claims on him at all. I had no right to be jealous—
“Oh good, I’m glad I caught you both here.”
I turned from Matt to find Diane walking quickly toward us. I cleared my throat, pushed any thought of sex with Matt to the nether regions of my brain, and focused on Diane. “Just got in. What’s going on?”
Matt said nothing as she turned to me. “He did okay yesterday? He’s ready for the ride-along?”
I nodded and he stared down at me for a moment before flashing another grin. “Don’t worry, Jesse, I’m up for it.”
He used those words on purpose, I thought. I refused to rise to the bait. “Jessica.”
“Sure thing, Jesse,” he laughed.
“You know where to go, Jessica,” Diane said. “Station House Fifteen. They’re waiting for you. If they get sent on a roll-out before you get there, just wait.”
I nodded and glanced up at Matt. “Ready?”
“We don’t need to take anything with us?” he asked.
“No,” I said. “Just our hot bodies.”
Both Diane and Matt looked at me in surprise and I realized what I said. Once again I felt the heat of a blush travel into my cheeks. Damn! “Oh God, I didn’t mean it like that,” I half laughed. “Come on Matt, we’ll take my car.”
He sent me another one of those grins, quite a knowing grin I thought, and with a nod toward Diane, followed me as I exited the hospital. We both wore scrubs; mine a salmon color today, his again dark blue. Each of us had pockets on the sides of our scrub pants inside which we stowed a number of tools of our trade. Mine held my nurse utility scissors with an angled edge, perfect for cutting through bandages or clothing, a penlight, and small pad of paper and pen for taking vitals or other notes in the ER.
I pulled my remote for my purse, stowed it in the back as I had done the evening before, and then unlocked the doors. By the time I climbed behind the wheel, Matt was already settling into the passenger seat. Seatbelts fastened, I glanced at him. “Did you do ride-alongs up in Sacramento?”
He shook his head. “No, they were talking about it, but nothing was ever done. It sounds like a good idea though,” he commented as I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. “I know that in the ER or ICU, we only see the aftermath, and not the challenges that first responders come up against in getting the patients transported to us.”
I nodded in agreement.
“You been on many of these?”
I shrugged. “About a half a dozen now,” I said. “We usually do the ride-along with Unit Fifteen. They have a larger vehicle with a crew cab, so it works out perfectly.” I glanced at him. “The paramedic teams from that station are excellent.”
He nodded. “I’ve received, and I can assume that you have, rather extensive training for emergency situations out in the field, but I’m mainly talking about the wildfire scenarios. This type of ride-along is an excellent resource to enhance our training, or training for any emergency room nurse for that matter.” He paused a moment. “It never hurts to walk a mile in another man’s… or women’s, shoes.”
I looked at him, saw that grin again, and agreed. It was nice to know that Matt was all for this. Jack hadn’t been. He hadn’t liked it at all. Being on the scene of a car accident, a house fire, or any other type of accident scenario had unfortunately scared him more than served a positive purpose. Based on the way Matt had performed yesterday, I knew without a doubt that Matt was the complete opposite of Jack. In fact, he would probably enjoy it as much as I did, being a self-proclaimed adrenaline junkie. I got the sense that he didn’t mind rushing into danger rather than running away from it. I shook my head and frowned, staring through the windshield as I navigated through the streets of Santa Fe until we approached Stationhouse Fifteen. The engine was still inside the station, but the red paramedic van was pulled out into the driveway, glistening, ready to go.
I pulled my Jeep into the fire station driveway and drove slowly toward the back parking lot where the firefighters parked for their shifts. Matt said nothing as we got out of the car and walked back along the driveway toward the front of the station. By the time we rounded the side of the firehouse, I saw Sean standing at the rear of the truck.
“Hey Jessica,” he said. “How you been doing?”
I smiled. Sean was a good guy, married, with three kids and another on the
way. He was older than me, probably pushing forty, with a receding hairline. I had liked him immediately. He was genuine, helpful, and I had seen him in action. Not only was he more than competent as a first responder, he showed a great deal of compassion and patience with the people he dealt with at some of the worst times of their lives.
“Sean McElroy, I’d like you to meet Matt Drake,” I introduced. “Matt’s a transfer from the ICU up in Sacramento. We’re streamlining his introduction at Santa Fe General because he already has a great deal of experience.”
Sean extended his hand and Matt took it. “Glad to have you aboard,” Sean said. “It was pretty quiet yesterday, but perhaps today will—”
The intercom inside the stationhouse blared the announcement of a possible house fire. A neighbor had reported it and the unit would be rushed out immediately. Sean quickly gestured for us to get inside the paramedic van. Opening the passenger side door, I pushed the front passenger seat forward and then scrambled into the crew cab. There wasn’t a bench seat back there, but two jumper seats bolted into each side of the cab. As Matt and I sat down, our knees faced each other as Sean climbed behind the steering wheel. His partner, Patrick, quickly joined him. Once again I made brief introductions after Patrick greeted me.
“Patrick Swanson, meet Matt Drake.”
It was too awkward due to the seating for the two men to shake hands, so they offered friendly nods to one another and then the unit was on the go, siren wailing. Sean paused at the end of the driveway a moment to make sure he could enter traffic safely, and then we were off. My heart was pounding with excitement. I glanced at Matt. He seemed calm as he stared out the front window, leaning slightly forward in his jump seat, but I could see the vein in his neck pounding with excitement.
I didn’t want to say that I felt an adrenaline rush, because chances were there was something awful waiting for us. Whether it was a car accident, a fire, a child hit by a car, it was always a scene of initial chaos surrounded by lookie-loos as well as friends or loved ones of the injured parties. Emergency scenes were often an emotional maelstrom, even more so at times than we saw in the emergency room.
I didn’t yet understand all the codes and abbreviations that the firefighters used in response to an accident, but I did catch that this one was a fire. While Sean drove, Patrick keyed the address into the GPS system mounted on the dash.
“Gimme that address again,” he asked Sean.
“Five-seven-three Mesquite, cross street Arroyo.”
I frowned. The address sounded familiar, or at least the cross streets did. I lived not far from that area. As the paramedic vehicle raced down the street, sirens blaring, Sean occasionally leaned on his horn to encourage drivers to pull over to the right. I realized where we were going. It was a house situated on a corner. It was a small, white, clapboard house situated on a small postage-stamp sized piece of property surrounded by a white-painted wrought iron fence. I had often seen children’s toys in the front yard; a swing set, a Big Wheel, and balls. My heart began to thump. I usually waved at the woman who I often saw sitting out in the front watching the children as I turned that corner and headed home. I’d never met her, and I wasn’t sure if the three or four children I typically saw in the yard were hers or she babysat, but I guess it didn’t matter.
I turned to Matt. “I think I know the people who live in that house,” I said.
He frowned, but what could he say? Like him, I leaned forward to look between the front seats, as if leaning forward could propel the paramedic van to go faster. Behind us, I heard the lower-pitched siren of the fire engine, but I couldn’t tell how far they were behind us. My view of Sean’s side mirror wasn’t adequate to see how far behind the fire engine actually was.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of blaring horns; one long blast from the fire engine itself. Once you’ve heard such a blare, you never forget it. Then I heard the sound of screeching tires, then seconds later, the crunch of metal on metal. Both Patrick and Sean looked through their side view mirrors.
“Shit!” Sean called out. “Some asshole just t-boned the engine!” He began to step on the brakes, but his partner shook his head, grabbing for the radio. “Let’s head to the site. They’ll send another backup engine.”
With Sean muttering under his breath and Patrick trying to keep sight of the disabled engine fading into the distance behind us, he turned to me. “It looked like they caught the back side of the engine, so everyone should be okay.”
I nodded, although my heart was really pounding now, my hands trembling slightly. I knew all the guys at the station, maybe not well, but I knew them. The thought of any of them getting hurt scared the crap out of me. They were good guys.
The paramedic van took a sharp turn, and then we headed down a relatively deserted street. I knew the landmarks and also knew that we would soon be approaching the site of the potential house fire. I leaned forward further into my jump seat, my knees nearly touching Matt’s now. I reached out a hand and braced myself on his knee. He said nothing, perhaps sensing my impatience.
To my horror, the house on the corner was indeed the one on fire. I was right. Smoke billowed from windows that had shattered with heat. The front windows had bars over them, painted white like the rest of the house. I hated those damn things. The next-door neighbor on one side tried to do what he could to help with his garden hose, but the single stream of water did nothing to help the old shingle roof, nor stem the curling whitish gray smoke that floated along its surface, as if seeking hold. The smoke roiling from the windows was darker, as it consumed wood, drywall, paint and God knew what else. I caught my breath when I saw the flicker of orange-red flames inside. By the time the paramedic van screeched to a halt in front of the house, flames were shooting through the roof along the back.
We all scrambled out of the paramedic van as quickly as possible. Patrick and Sean moved to the side of their truck and began to unlock various bins that held their supplies. Patrick reached for his shoulder mic and asked for the ETA of the backup engine.
“They’ll be here in four minutes!”
Matt and I stood on the sidewalk, staring at the house. I saw the toys, the swing set, and then I saw the woman. She stood huddled with her neighbors, her face streaked with soot and tears. She was screaming, pointing to the house. There was so much noise; the crackling and popping of the fire, the woman screaming, and the sound of children crying and the sound of police and fire engines wailing in the distance. The woman, standing in a sleeveless white knee length nightgown, clutched two small black-haired children on either side of her, her grip on them probably painful although they certainly didn’t seem to mind. They stared at the burning house with wide, terrified eyes, tears streaking down their faces.
My heart went out to them. I understood that feeling; that sense of horror, the sense that you were living a nightmare and it would all be over when you woke up. Behind me, I heard Matt speaking.
“We’ll go take a look at the kids.”
As he passed by me, he placed a hand on my shoulder and gently guided me toward the woman and the two children. I glanced at him, confused. “But there’s more,” I said.
“More what?”
“More children!” I said, my voice rising in alarm. “Every time I drive by here, there’s at least three or four of them in the yard.”
“Does she babysit?”
“I don’t know!” I replied as I hurried forward.
The moment the woman saw us rushing toward her in our hospital scrubs, she began to sob. Matt caught her just as she sank to her knees.
“My baby! My baby’s in there!”
She lifted a trembling arm, finger pointing. I saw a side door standing slightly ajar, probably the door through which the woman and the children had exited the house. I quickly glanced at the paramedics, who couldn’t really do much of anything until the engine arrived to put out the flames. They looked in our direction, and then, grabbing several tackle-like boxes, began to make their way through t
he growing crowd of onlookers toward us. I knew they’d look over the woman and the kids.
“Please… please get my baby,” the woman wailed.
Matt spoke quietly to the woman, trying to reassure the children as well. Above the sounds of crying, the sounds of the cackle and roar of the growing flames, I heard it.
“Did you hear that?” I looked at Matt. He looked back at me and shook his head.
“Heard what?”
I stood, half crouched, my hand on the shoulder of one of the children, my head turned toward the house, my eyes riveted on the side door. “The baby!”
Without hesitating, my heart pounding, and with adrenaline surging through my veins, I sprinted toward the side door. I heard the baby cry! The baby was trapped inside!
“Jesse!” Matt shouted “Jesse, wait!”
I didn’t. I couldn’t. In seconds, I was at the side door, covering my nose and mouth with one hand while I slowly pushed the door open and disappeared inside. It was unbearably hot. I stood in the kitchen, as yet untouched by fire, but a cloud of smoke hovered near the ceiling, probably three to four feet thick already and slowly filling the room. I quickly hurried through the kitchen and into a small dining room, and then, with my eyes burning from the acrid smoke, I banged into a wall. I bounced off of it, then fell to the floor, landing on linoleum. I scrambled to my knees and felt my way along the wall until I emerged into the living room. The wailing grew louder.
Holding the top of my scrub shirt over my nose and mouth, I gradually made my way to the living room, bumping into furniture in the increasing smoky darkness that filled the room. Then, I saw it. The crib. In the corner. I began to stand, prepared to reach down into the crib for the screaming baby, but just then, an explosion shook the house and sent me back to my knees as a blast of heat roared toward me. I felt the heat singe my eyebrows, my eyelashes, and my skin. So hot. Incredibly hot. I inhaled ash and smoke. Coughing, I grasped onto the crib, determined to get to the baby, but the lack of oxygen hampered my efforts.