The guys were kicking a couple of hacky sacks back and forth in the mostly deserted parking lot. Their dogs were in the school van he’d be driving, their heads hanging out the open windows. Beth and Marisa were petting Bozo, a yellow Lab-shepherd mix, and talking as though they were the only two people in the world.
Zack was growing fond of all of them. They were great kids, giving up afternoons when they could be in the student union, out with friends, studying, sleeping in their dorms and any number of other things, in order to make some older people’s day a little brighter.
Turning to see if maybe Randi was coming from the opposite direction, Zack told Sammie to be patient just a few minutes longer.
With or without the Montford Pet Therapy Club, Zack would be making these visits. But he’d never be able to see the number of people they all saw together, nor see them as often.
“Whew, sorry I’m late,” Randi said from behind him. Her face was flushed and she was out of breath.
“The tennis match ran over, and we were winning. I lost track of time.”
“No problem,” Zack said, his world right, now that she was here. “The people we’re going to see don’t have anywhere else they have to be…”
Knowing the routine, the kids piled out of the vans when they arrived in Phoenix at yet a third nursing home, got their assignments and took off in groups of three. Two students and a dog.
Which left Zack and Randi with Sammie. Again.
“Let’s go, shall we?” Zack asked, clicking Sammie’s leash onto her collar.
“I’m ready when you are.”
She walked on the opposite side of him, away from Sammie, but there wasn’t any holding her back. He might not have sold Randi on dogs yet, but she was definitely becoming a convert to pet-therapy.
“Why is it you’re afraid of dogs?” Zack asked casually as they walked down a hallway on their way to visit an old blind man, who was another of Zack’s favorite people.
“I was bitten by one when I was two,” Randi said.
“So, because a bad father beats his kids, are you afraid of all dads?”
“No,” she said aggressively.
“Then—”
“Point taken, Foster. Now lay off.”
Grinning, Zack figured he was making progress.
“Hey, Leonard,” Zack said as they entered the man’s room. “Ready for your shower?”
“I thought you guys’d never get here.” The man’s gravelly voice boomed from the corner of the room.
“I need a shower, man!”
Zack walked Sammie over to him and wrapped the dog’s leash tightly around the old man’s hand. “We’ll have that taken care of in no time,” he said.
Taking Leonard’s other hand to guide him, Zack led his little entourage out the door and down the hall. Randi followed, watching Sammie with an eagle eye, as though prepared to leap forward and save the old man if the dog made one wrong move. “O, ye of little faith,” he muttered to himself. Still, it was rather amusing.
At the door marked “shower,” Zack stopped, opened it, let go of Leonard’s hand and watched as Sammie and the man disappeared, the door closing behind them.
“She’s not a seeing-eye dog,” Randi said, frowning. “Shouldn’t you go in there? Or go get some help? I know you think your dog’s a genius, Zack, but he could slip in there.”
“After he went blind, Leonard’s family put him in this home,” Zack said, leaning against the wall.
“Zack, didn’t you hear me?” Randi asked. She looked around them. “Someone needs to know he’s in there alone.”
“Shoved him off as though, without eyes, he no longer had ears or a brain or a heart,” Zack continued. “And all because he’d become frightened of water as a result of his blindness.”
“Well, then—”
“He’s still frightened of water,” Zack said, wanting her to trust him, trust Sammie. Neither of them would put an old man’s life at risk. “Between that and his sense of modesty, the situation seemed hopeless. If anyone tries to get him in the shower, he panics, hits, swears, bites, anything to save himself.”
Randi nodded thoughtfully as he spoke.
“Not only does it make life difficult for his caregivers, but it strips him of the little dignity he has left. Can you imagine standing there, completely naked and unable to see a thing, throwing a tantrum you can’t control, while some stranger tries to bathe you?”
She swallowed, her eyes moist. “No.”
She looked at the door. The room behind it was small. Tiled floor with a drain, a bench and towel rack outside the shower curtain, and a showerhead and soap dish inside. There was no screaming going on. But the faint sounds of running water—and a gravelly baritone singing voice—could be heard.
“It’s the oddest thing,” Zack said. “We discovered it quite by accident, but Leonard’s fine in the shower as long as he has a companion who isn’t a threat to his modesty, his dignity. He holds Sammie’s leash and he showers just like he did all the years of his life when he could see. The water no longer terrifies him, and he’s not humiliated by having someone standing there holding his hand, watching him.”
“Really,” Randi said, staring at the door.
“Really.”
“And Sammie doesn’t mind getting wet?”
Zack shook his head, leaning against the wall, feeling good as he watched Randi and listened to a contented old man sing.
“Sammie runs through the sprinklers at home whenever they’re on and she can get past me,” he told her, grinning. “But she won’t get wet in there. Not unless Leonard has a problem. Then she’ll bark and let me know he needs help.”
“So what happens to Leonard when we’re visiting other places?” Randi asked.
She’d said we. Said it naturally, without thinking. Life was good.
“He’s visited twice a week by dogs from other volunteer programs.”
“Oh.” Randi nodded in approval. “I’m glad.”
He had one hell of a kiss waiting for those lips.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
RANDI HAD A BIRTHDAY PARTY to attend. And she didn’t want to go alone.
She always went to these things alone. Was usually fine going alone; others would be there without companions.
But it was such a long drive home from Phoenix, late at night, when you were alone. Especially if you’d had a glass of wine at the party.
But she’d made the drive a million times, she reminded herself. Liked driving by herself, thrived on the freedom of being out on the open road.
Besides, people would ask questions if she didn’t go alone. Might even assume things, which would be awkward. Especially later, when she went alone again.
But then, people always assumed stuff. There wasn’t anything she could do about it. She’d learned that a long time ago, and later, learned not to care what other people thought. And where was the harm in having them think she had a gorgeous guy—for a while?
The harm would come later, when she was alone again and they thought she wasn’t woman enough to keep her man.
Of course, she didn’t care what they thought.
She cared what she thought.
What a great time she’d have, introducing Zack to her friends and acquaintances, the crowd she’d grown up with. And later, it would be fun to talk about them. Party postmortem. She’d have someone to tell all the little things to that she wouldn’t dare say to anyone else. Such as she was certain Sandra Diamond had had a facelift. And probably a boob job, too. And Tommy Mortimer was having an affair.
Angela Mooney carried little bottles of gin in her purse and doubled her gin and tonics when she thought no one was looking. Richard Lyons was a tightwad. Walter Brown cheated at cards.
She liked the way Lori Ryan laughed. And wasn’t Brad Armstrong a great storyteller? Lindsey Miller told the best jokes. And Bruce Miller made the best drinks….
“You trying to lose me?”
Randi turned around, her reverie
interrupted as Zack came skating up behind her.
“No, just sprayed my wheels last night like I said I was going to. Apparently you didn’t.”
“Nope.”
Neither of them had done it over the weekend, which had been the original plan.
She actually hadn’t seen him at all the previous weekend. And that was as it should be. They weren’t an item.
And because she’d made it through the entire weekend without him, she could be forgiven for their lapse on Tuesday. It didn’t mean anything. They’d just have to get used to being together without touching each other.
They were mature adults. They could manage.
She certainly could manage. She’d lived for years without sex. Making it through more than a week this next time shouldn’t be much of a challenge.
They hadn’t even kissed good-night when they’d returned from pet therapy. Merely said goodbye at their respective cars, went home to their respective homes and lived their respective lives.
They could do this.
“There’s a birthday party in Phoenix a week from tomorrow.” She glanced behind her for traffic and crossed the road, intending to take a side street that led to Montford. She liked skating around the university with its signs of student life.
“There’re probably lots of parties going on,” Zack said as he caught up with her.
“Yes, but I got an invitation to this one. One of my good friends, Lindsey Miller, is throwing a surprise fortieth birthday party for her husband, Bruce. Lindsey’s a councilwoman in one of the little suburbs of Phoenix, but in her other life, she was a damn good tennis player. They give great parties. Casual. Lots to do. They’ve got a beautiful pool area set off by a wrought-iron gate, and a separate patio with Ping-Pong and darts, and out farther, a lighted tennis court. It’s all wired for sound, the grill’s usually going, there’s a full wet bar out there…” She sounded like a salesperson. Was she afraid he wouldn’t go just because she’d asked him to? That she needed something else to convince him?
She wasn’t even sure she wanted him there with her.
“Sounds like fun. You going?”
“I’d offend them if I didn’t.”
Zack skated silently beside her.
“I’d like you to come with me,” she began, “if you don’t think it would put us over the line into entanglements we don’t want. If you’re free and want to come, that is.”
“I’m free, and I’d be glad to come. Like I said, it sounds like fun.”
He wanted to come. Phew.
“I have to warn you, though, there’ll be a lot of talk about the old days there,” she said. “It won’t be the athletes’ crowd, but these are still people who knew me back when I was golfing.”
“I’d enjoy that, too.”
“Really,” she said in that way she had of asking for confirmation without asking a question at all.
“I have a feeling I’m missing out on some great stories that might make good blackmail material in the future.”
Future, huh? Blackmail material? That was just fine by Randi.
Without any warning, without even looking at him, she called, “Race you,” and sped off. They’d just reached the loop they usually raced around.
Randi was in the lead the entire way. At one point, not wanting him to call foul on her head start, she waited for him to catch up and then lit out again.
She won by several squares of sidewalk. Finally. And wasn’t the least bit reluctant about gloating.
“You had an advantage,” Zack said, pointing to her skates.
“Hey, buddy, you could’ve taken care of your wheels, too. Simply put, I used my head. You didn’t. You had the same weapons, but you didn’t take advantage of them. I win.”
“Congratulations. Now get your butt home before I forget that it’s off-limits.”
She headed out in front of him, sensing him behind her, and eventually slowed until they were gliding side by side down a shady tree-lined street. It was dinnertime and no one was around, giving the impression that they were in a world of their own.
“Hey, Zack?”
“Yeah?”
“How much longer do you think we can keep this up? Telling ourselves each time we sleep together that it’s the last?”
He was silent for a while, skating beside her, her question hanging between them. The air was cool on her face. Sweat was dripping down her back.
“Does it matter?”
“I’d rather fall into the problem head-on than get there by default,” Randi said, frowning.
They had a problem. She needed to deal with it even if he didn’t.
“Mind explaining that?”
“I’m just wondering if it might not be less damaging to choose to have a relationship, to feel we had some say in the matter, rather than losing control enough times to be having a relationship without ever choosing it.”
“Or we can continue to try to control ourselves.”
She looked over at him, caught his eye. “And you honestly think we have a hope in hell of being successful? After Tuesday?”
She could see that he didn’t. And see, too, that he wasn’t happy about the situation.
“What have we got to lose, Zack?” she asked, taking his hand as they coasted to a stop at a deserted street corner. “If we do this and it doesn’t work, we’re no worse off than if we’d never tried at all.”
“Aren’t we?” He searched her face. “You aren’t hurt now, but you could be.”
And so could he.
“You think you could walk away now, never see me again and not care?” she asked.
“No.”
“Me, neither. Which means I stand to get hurt either way.”
“But if we try,” he said slowly, “we have a chance at having it all.”
Randi nodded. “Will told me not too long ago that if you don’t reach out, you never get anything. He was right.”
Zack started to skate again, still holding her hand. “I must say, there’s something pretty damn tempting about knowing we can make love any time we want,” he said after a moment. “How big a chance are you proposing we take?”
“Not big.” Randi wasn’t even sure she was ready to take any chance at all. She just didn’t know of any other intelligent solution.
Pretending not to be lovers wasn’t cutting it.
“I’m just winging it here,” she continued, “but one thing’s for sure, I don’t want any promises. And I can’t make any.”
It was probably the single most important conversation she’d ever had, and she was having it while skating down the middle of the street.
“Agreed.”
“At the same time, I expect fidelity, at least while you’re…while we’re…”
“Sleeping together?”
Desire shot through her just hearing him say it. “Yeah.”
“I expect the same.”
“Okay.”
“Then we’re agreed.”
Randi nodded. “I feel we should tell someone,” she said, loving the feel of his big hand wrapped around hers. Loving the intimacy of holding hands in the street. “Except I don’t know what we’d say.”
“I think we’ve already said it,” Zack told her, smiling down at her. “We were just the last ones to listen.”
They skated in silence until they were back across town and at the end of her street.
“You sure you’re okay with this?” she asked him.
“Right now all I can think about is that I’m going to be making love to you in about five minutes. And that I’m going to do it again tomorrow and the day after that.”
Warmth pooled in her belly as she skated the rest of the way with him, each glide taking them closer to her house, her bedroom, her bed. And tonight, when they made love, they’d be doing so with their minds first—bacause they’d decided this—not just with overeager bodies.
There was something incredibly sexy about that.
But as she coasted to a stop at
her front door, took off her wrist guards and pulled out her key, Randi wasn’t thinking only about sex. She was suddenly overwhelmed with the fear that she was risking too much.
This was her home. Her haven. Her safety net. The one place where the world—and its inherent pain—never gained entry. The one place where she was in complete control.
WAITING FOR HIS NEXT PATIENT, Zack wandered out to the reception area at the clinic on Tuesday, his thoughts on the upcoming party. He was looking forward to meeting people who’d known Randi in her other life. He’d had a rough moment when he’d thought Barbara Sharp might be there, but dismissed his concern. She’d said it wasn’t really an athletes’ party. Besides, he didn’t think Randi knew Barbara.
Looking out the front door, he saw his buddy, Ben Sanders, coming up the walk. Zack’s patient apparently wasn’t going to show up, and Zack was delighted to see Ben. Now that Ben was married and had his little girl living with him, Zack hardly saw him anymore.
“What’s up?” Zack asked after the greetings were over. “You aren’t having problems with Buddy, are you?”
Buddy was the dog Zack had given Ben on Ben’s second day in Shelter Valley. It was the day the two of them had met.
“Nope. I actually—” Ben looked over Zack’s shoulder to the empty hallway beyond “—came hoping you’d be able to introduce me to Cassie.”
“I think she’s in one of the examining rooms right now, but if you’d like to come back and wait, I’ll be happy to grab her when she’s through.”
Checking his watch, Ben nodded. “I’ve got an hour before my next class. I’ll wait if you’re sure I’m not holding you up.”
Telling Ben about his no-show, Zack gave the younger man an impromptu tour of the clinic’s facilities.
“You guys ever think about doing any boarding?” Ben asked, glancing around the spacious back room. Currently about a quarter of the room was in use, storing supplies. The rest just got swept once a month.
“We’ve talked about it,” Zack said. “We’d like to keep a couple of dogs trained for therapy right here.”
White Picket Fences Page 16