Kissing Cousins

by Diana Tobin

  Father and son shared a look before bursting into laughter.

  “You can see Web got his hair from his mother,” Nettie spoke up, “and his attitude from his father.”

  Gus didn’t have a clue what to say, and began clearing away the dishes.

  “Leave that,” Nettie said. “You go on home with your family. And, take tomorrow off, too.” Gus opened her mouth to protest when Nettie added, “I’ve got your shift covered.”

  Thanking her employer, Gus put away her apron and got her coat.

  “Hat,” said Web.

  Gus pulled the knit hat from her coat pocket. “And, where is yours?”

  “Don’t need one.” He shoved the hat over her hair himself. “You’ve still got that thin Oregon blood and need help staying warm.” He wrapped an arm around her, hustling her out the door.

  She tried to step away from him, but Web just hugged her tighter.

  Gus did insist on riding in the back with Joe, leaving the front seat for Web’s mother. She didn’t realize she was wringing her hands until Joe placed a large warm hand over hers.

  “We don’t bite, Gusta.” He smiled at her. “Unless you want us to.”

  She smiled back at him and relaxed in her seat a little. “I should knit some mittens. Then my hands wouldn’t get so cold.”

  Alice turned a bit from the front seat. “You knit, dear?”

  “Yes, it’s how I supported my daughter and myself the last few years.”

  “Wait till you see the book we found,” Web put in. “We went to a yarn store near Manchester and found a book with Gusta’s designs. When I told the owner, she had Gusta autograph them all. She wants her to do a workshop, too.”

  Alice smiled at her husband before turning her gaze to Gus. “I’d love to see some of your work.”

  “Of course,” Gus said quietly. She was rather shocked at Web bragging about her.

  Arriving home, they hurried through the spitting snow to the cozy warmth inside. Gus wasn’t sure what to do. All too often, once she got home from work, she and Web made love before attending to any chores or plans for the rest of the evening. They certainly wouldn’t be doing that with his parents in the house.

  Alice made the decision for her. “Web, pour us some wine. I want to see Gusta’s scrapbooks now that she can look through them with me.”

  “They’re still in the office. I’m not sure which one you want to see.”

  Alice followed Gus. “All of them.”

  Gus had removed the yarn, pattern books, and needles and hooks from the bookcase, moving it all upstairs to the small bedroom. She’d convinced Web to get his medals out and display them on the shelves in the office. Her scrapbooks, however, still remained on the bottom shelf.

  “I have seven books,” Gus admitted.

  “And, we have lots of time,” Alice replied. “It sounds like this is a good way for us to get to know you. We can talk seriously tomorrow.”

  Gus’s heart sank to her feet. What was Alice going to tell her? Keep away from her son? Leave the house she had no right to? Her thoughts must’ve shown on her face for Alice reached for her hand.

  “Gusta, don’t look so worried. I just meant I’d like to hear about your mother, but I’m not quite ready for that today.” Alice gave her hand a squeeze. “I’ve heard only good things about you, and I really am pleased you’re here.” Her smile was a bit sad. “I was very hurt when Julia blocked me from her life. Since you have tomorrow off, we can have a long chat about what happened. Now, let me help you carry those into the living room.”

  “Mama, sit on the couch so Gusta can sit next to you,” Web instructed. “Dad, you’re going to want to see these, too.”

  Alice sat in the middle of the couch, Joe and Gus on either side. Web perched on the arm next to Gus. While his mother turned the pages, asking questions, exclaiming over the beautiful baby that was Hope, Web kept touching Gus. He rubbed her back, stroked a shoulder, fiddled with an earring, played with a lock of hair, anything to keep his hands on her, all while pointing out his favorite photos.

  By the third book, Gus turned to him. “How many times have you looked through these?”

  Web grinned at her. “Had to do something while you’re at work.”

  “You must have been really bored.”

  “Gusta, these are wonderful,” Alice said. “I want one.”

  “Oh—I’d be glad to make you one, but I don’t have any supplies,” Gus said.

  Alice waved that away with one hand. “Maybe you can show me how. We could work on it together.” She looked at Gus. “After the holidays.” Alice turned another page, exclaiming over the beauty of Hope.

  Web’s mother cried when she came to the photos of Gus and Hope with bald heads. She gripped Gus’s hand. “What a wonderful mother you are.”

  Gus couldn’t help sniffling, too. “Was, but thank you.”

  Alice shook her head and reached for Gus’s hand. “Your baby may be gone, but you’ll always be a mother. She was lucky to have you.”

  “I was the lucky one,” insisted Gus.

  CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

  “Gusta, what are you doing in here?” Web slid into his old bed, scooping her into his arms.

  She tried to move away, but he tightened his hold. “Web,” she whispered. “Your parents are here.”

  “I’m well aware of that. What does that have to do with you being in here instead of our bed?” He didn’t whisper, but kept his voice quiet. “My parents know we sleep together.”

  “They suspect we sleep together. We don’t have to prove it to them.”

  “Wrong,” he said on a laugh. “They know because I told them when I showed them our room.”

  Gusta’s answer was a low groan.

  “What would you have done if Dad had been willing to sleep in here? Never mind; you’d have slept downstairs, wouldn’t you?” She didn’t answer, only squirmed a bit. “Believe me, if they’d slept in here they would’ve heard me thundering down the stairs to crawl in bed with you down there. I can’t sleep without you next to me.”

  Gusta’s breath came out in a sigh, flowing over his neck.

  He ran a hand up and down her back, over the curve of her hip. “You have on too many clothes.” He slid his hands under the waistband of the yoga pants she wore, pushing them down her legs. “I’ll keep you warm.”

  “Web,” she protested. “They’ll hear us.”

  “No, they won’t. Do you hear them?”

  “No! I mean, I wasn’t trying to listen.”

  “Me, neither.” He’d shoved her pants down to her feet, pushing them off with his own foot. “The door is shut and as long as you don’t scream–”

  “I don’t scream.”

  “Sometimes,” he insisted. “Kiss me, honey. I haven’t gotten nearly enough today, and I love your kisses.” He slipped his hands under the back of her tank top.

  “You do?”

  “You sound surprised.” He pulled her leg over his hip while brushing his lips over her throat. “I could live on your kisses alone for months. But I’m glad to have the rest of you. Kiss me,” he repeated.

  Gusta lightly bit his lower lip, drew it between her own, sucking, before sliding her tongue inside, searching for his. Web’s groan was loud and long.

  “Shush. You’re the one making all the noise.”

  “Then, sweetheart, you’d better keep your mouth on mine.”

  ♥•♥•♥

  After a breakfast of blueberry pancakes, Web took his father off somewhere, leaving Gus alone with his mother.

  “The sun’s out,” Alice said. “I know it’s cold, but let’s sit out on your swing.”

  “All right,” Gus agreed. “Would you like a cup of coffee to help keep you warm?”

  The two women settled on the swing, admiring the brightly-colored leaves remaining on the surrounding trees.

  “Tell me about your parents,” Alice invited.

  “Dad was raised in foster homes near Boston. They never tol
d me where or how they met, just that they moved west, and ended up in Talent, Oregon, where I was born and raised. About twelve years ago, Dad had a job opportunity in Spokane and they moved up there.”

  “You didn’t want to go with them?”

  Gus took a sip of her coffee. “No. I had just started taking classes at the community college. My friends were there and I was dating Steve.” She glanced at Alice. “My ex-husband.”

  “What kind of classes were you taking? What did you want to do?”

  “I had no idea,” Gus said with a quick laugh. “I took some business courses, hoping I’d figure out what I wanted to be.” She watched the wind stir ripples on the lake. “I guess mostly I just wanted to be a wife and mother.”

  Alice placed a hand on Gus’s arm. “There’s no ‘just’ about either of those. Keeping a home, raising children, that can be the hardest, and most rewarding, job in the world.” She wrapped both hands around her mug and sat in silence for a bit. “Did you know I lost a baby?”

  “Yes, Web told me. Forgive me,” she said hesitantly, “but, how did you get over it?”

  Looking directly at Gus, Alice said, “You don’t.” She reached for Gus’s hand, holding it firmly with hers. “The pain of that loss lessens, but you never forget. She didn’t suffer like your Hope, yet you’re fortunate you had years with her instead of just a few short months.

  “I couldn’t just wallow in my grief and wait for the world to stop. I had my son and Joe. I had to go on living because of them. And, I had Emma, too.” She smiled. “Your grandmother was more mother to me than my own ever thought to be. She helped me see I could honor my family best by living my life to the fullest. You need to do that, too, Gusta.”

  “I’m trying. Some days are better than others.”

  “Don’t gloss over the bad days. If you need to sit and cry, do it. If you keep stuffing down all that pain and misery, you’ll…you’ll explode.” Alice laughed a bit. “Better to let off steam now and then rather than let all that pain fester. You deserve to be happy, Gusta. You deserve a good life.”

  “Thank you. I—I mean no disrespect, but I don’t understand you. Any of you.” Gus waved a hand in frustration. “You and your husband, and Web, welcome me with open arms; yet, I stand to gain your inheritance. Your history. Until a few months ago, I’d never heard of Emma or Henry. You grew up here. This is your home. None of you seem to care that I’ve come riding in to take it away from you.”

  Alice’s smile was gentle. “I’m torn between laughing and crying. You have just as much right to this house as Web does. Julia, your mother, should have told you about your family here, and we’ll discuss that in a minute. Had Julia not been so headstrong, you and Web might’ve grown up together.” Alice tilted her head as she looked over Gus. “Then, again, things may have worked out for the best. Still, you should have known your grandparents.

  “My father made sure Emma was provided for. Granted, he sold her the house to thwart my mother, and I say good for him.”

  Gus laughed. “That’s exactly what I said when Web told me.”

  Alice nodded in approval. “It would be nice if this place stayed in the family, but family is more important than the place. Joe and I could be living here, but we chose to move to Bangor. We’re happy there. We’ve made our lives there. I’m glad to see it go to Web. He’s always cared more for this place than our home. To Web, this is home. And, you’re here to share it with him.”

  Gus didn’t want to discuss that with his mother. Her own feelings on the matter were too shaky. “Web said you thought my mother was sorry for what she’d done. He said you’d tell me why.”

  “I can’t believe she never said a word about any of us.” Alice stated it, but it was more a question.

  “Never,” Gus said. “Whenever I asked about grandparents, she just said there weren’t any. She kept saying the only family she had, or needed, was me and my father.” She turned to face Alice on the swing. “I’m having trouble reconciling the woman I grew up with to the unfeeling person you all talk about. She was loving and sweet and always there for me.”

  “I’m glad. I’m glad she turned out to be a good mother.” Now, it was Alice’s turn to stare out over the lake, gathering her thoughts. “I think when we found out about her father and my mother, I think Julia was embarrassed. I know I was. She used to make excuses for why her father didn’t attend things at school, why he wasn’t around like other parents. Paul and Barbie were a matched set; both too selfish to care about anyone else.

  “I also wondered if she didn’t like the idea of sharing Emma with me and Daddy.” She met Gus’s gaze. “Our families spent a lot of time together. I don’t remember ever going to my mother with a problem, I always talked to Emma. If Julia resented me relying more on her mother, she had a funny way of showing it. She ignored me, hung out with the wrong crowd, and avoided her mother as much as possible.

  “When Emma and Daddy decided to marry, Julia left. She told Emma she had no loyalty to her dead husband by marrying his friend.” Alice’s lips twitched. “I don’t know how Julia could overlook the fact her father had had no loyalty for Emma. After the scandal broke, women came out of the woodwork claiming to have had a love affair with him. Poor Emma. She’d had a louse for a husband, and then, her daughter turned her back on her, too.”

  “Yes, Emma and I evidently had that in common. My ex was a louse, too.” Gus gave Alice a shy smile. “Mom and Dad urged me to leave him after Hope was born, but I didn’t want to break up my family. Big mistake.”

  Alice slid her arm around Gus’s shoulders and leaned her head against hers. “Were your parents happy together?”

  “Yes. They weren’t like you and Joe, but they were happy.”

  “What do you mean ‘like me and Joe’?”

  “I shouldn’t have said anything.” Gus was embarrassed and wished she’d been more careful with her comments.

  Alice shook her slightly. “Come on. Tell me what you meant.” Cupping the side of her face, she turned Gus to face her. “I think you’re more embarrassed than I could be.”

  “You two are like a couple of kids. Like famous lovers you read about in books.”

  “Ah. I see.” Alice gave her a wide smile. “How wonderful! I can’t wait to tell Joe.”

  “See,” inserted Gus. “That’s what I mean.”

  Alice gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek. “We had a marvelous example: Emma and Daddy. They were always touching or kissing or could just communicate with a look. Much like you and Web.”

  “Me and Web! Oh, but, we’re not—”

  “You love my son, don’t you?” Alice grasped Gus by the upper arms so they faced each other. “I can see it when you look at him, the little things you do for him. Aren’t you just as proud of his trophies and medals as he is with that design book of yours? Aren’t you knitting that lovely green sweater for him?”

  “Well, yes, but—”

  “I know he loves you. I’ve never seen him so happy and that has to be because of you.” She pulled Gus in for a hug. “He can barely keep his hands off you. No more than Joe can keep his off me,” she said, laughing.

  “We-we do have a physical attraction.” She was still trying to convince herself Web’s profession of love the night before during their lovemaking was due to do their shared passion.

  “You know it’s more than that, Gusta,” Alice said sternly. “Maybe you need time to deal with all the changes you’ve experienced lately, but don’t be foolish like your mother. Don’t let pride and the past keep you from a future you want. Don’t ignore the love that is in front of you.”

  Alice made sure Gus was looking at her and heeding her words. “I know you’ve had rough times in your past, and I’m not speaking only of losing Hope. You need to think about this; if your past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, don’t let it keep your future from being better than you imagined.”

  They stared at each other for long moments before Alice drew in a deep breath a
nd rose to her feet. “Let’s stop at the florist and get some flowers. I’d like to visit Emma’s grave while it’s still a nice day.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Alice and Gus located the men letting them know their plans. Web wanted to drive them, but his mother said, “Give Gusta your keys. We’ll go in your Jeep.” He opened his mouth to protest when Alice spoke again. “If you haven’t taken her to the cemetery, it’s obvious you aren’t ready to be there. Let me do this. Plus, it will answer one of her questions.”

  Web gave up arguing and handed his keys to Gus. “The roads should be okay. Drive careful.” He kissed her goodbye before giving his mother a hug.

  “Would you like to drive?” Gus asked climbing into the Jeep.

  Alice was buckling into the passenger seat. “No. You’ll remember the way better if you drive.” She gave Gus a small smile. “In case you want to go back.”

  The trip was short, and Gus was surprised she hadn’t come across the cemetery earlier. “Web hasn’t been here since Emma’s funeral?”

  “I don’t think so. And, he didn’t bring you, did he?”

  “No,” Gus agreed pulling up to an iron gate. There was no parking lot for the small cemetery, just a grassy space off the side of the road. A low iron fence separated the resting place from the road.

  “Can we get in?” Gus pointed to the gate.

  “I’ve never known it to be locked. They just keep the gate closed,” Alice said. She’d jumped down from the Jeep and shoved open the ornate gate, then held out her hand for Gus. “Do cemeteries bother you?”

  “I don’t think so, but I’ve never spent much time at one.” She glanced at Alice. “Mom and Dad are buried near Spokane. I only went back once after their funeral, and that was on my way to Maine. I lived in Medford,” she shrugged her shoulders lightly. “Then, Hope was ill, and I couldn’t leave her and there wasn’t time for a trip like that. Plus…” Gus didn’t add how she hadn’t wanted Hope to see where she might end up.

  Alice gave Gus’s hand a squeeze. “I’ve been here plenty of times. Everyone here is a relative, a Biddle relative,” she added with a smile. “It’s a good way to put together a family tree when there’s so many in one place.” She led Gus down the paths between plots. “The Websters are spread around the state, but many are near Fayette. I’ll help you with that family tree when you’re ready.”