by Diana Tobin
“Here are Emma and Daddy.” Alice stopped in front of a large stone near the center of the cemetery. “It’s a large headstone, but Emma wanted it that size in case Joe and I want our ashes added here. Not to mention, all of Emma’s names.”
Gus stared at the words carved into the stone.
BIDDLE
Henry Allen
Beloved husband and father
March 1932 – October 2010
Emma Augusta Larson Dodge
June 1932 – July 2014
She dropped to her knees in damp grass. “Her middle name was Augusta?”
Alice stood next to her and placed a comforting hand on Gus’s shoulder. “Yes. That’s why I think Julia was sorry for the way she’d treated her mother, and for leaving with no word. She named you after her mother.”
“Emma’s birthday was in June.”
“Yes,” Alice said slowly, clearly not understanding the significance.
Gus raised her tear-filled gaze to Alice. “My middle name is June.”
“Oh!” Alice raised a hand to her mouth, her own eyes filling with tears. “Damn her stubborn hide!”
“What? Whose?”
“Julia.” Alice wiped away her tears in an angry swipe. “Clearly, she was sorry for what she’d done. She named you after her mother.” She patted Gus on the shoulder. “But she was too damn stubborn, or proud, or whatever, to come see Emma. I’ll never forgive her for keeping you from your family.” Alice blew out a breath much like a balloon deflating. “I miss my friend.”
Gus rose to wrap her arms around the older woman. “We both do.”
They stood holding each other for some time, looking at the large headstone.
“It irked Emma to add the Dodge to the stone,” Alice said. At Gus’s puzzled look she explained. “Emma ordered the stone after we lost Daddy. She said she didn’t want him lost in the crowd of other Biddles.” Her smile was soft. “She had her information carved when she ordered it, other than the date of her death, of course. Emma didn’t want to add Dodge to her name, but said for Julia’s sake, she needed to.”
“Why was she concerned about what Mom would think?”
“Emma hadn’t spoken of Julia in years. At that time, we had no idea where she was, if she was still living, or anything about you. But Emma hoped if Julia ever came back, seeing the name they shared on her headstone would let Julia know she’d never been forgotten.” Alice gave Gus a quick hug. “Ready to go home and see what our men are up to?”
♥•♥•♥
That night, Gus climbed into the big sleigh bed with Web and snuggled into his arms. “I like your parents.”
He chuckled as he kissed her hair. “Yeah, I like them, too.”
“They’re so sweet together.” The moonlight shining in the window let her see the face he made. “Not ooey-gooey. They’re so attuned to each other. I love how they’re always finding excuses to touch each other or kiss. You know, like–”
“Us,” Web finished. “They’ve always been like that. Unlike most kids, I never thought it was gross because I was used to seeing it. Gran and Pop were like that, too.”
“Mmm. That’s what your mom said.”
Web was nuzzling her ear, nibbling at her neck. “My love, why do you come to bed with so many clothes on?”
She giggled. “So you can take them off?”
“Oh, yeah. My favorite gift to unwrap.”
♥•♥•♥
Gusta was quiet after the visit from his parents. It didn’t make sense to him. She was retreating back into the shell she’d been in when she’d first arrived. Not that she ignored him, but all too often he’d find her bundled up on the porch swing, staring out at the lake. Or, staring into space with her knitting in her lap. And, all too often, with silent tears trailing down her face. No matter how much he pried and prodded, she’d come up with a lame excuse of enjoying the view or thinking about a pattern design rather than sharing her real thoughts.
One evening he joined her on the swing, wrapping up the two of them in a quilt. “Are we ever going to talk about it?” he asked.
“Talk about what?”
“Gusta,” Web said in frustration. “You haven’t been yourself since my parents were here. You’ve barely said two words to me. Did Mama say something to upset you?”
“No. Your mother is wonderful,” she said quietly. “We talked about my mom, about when the two of them were young, and best friends. Things they did together. How much it hurt Alice when my mom stopped being a friend to her. I know we won’t ever know for sure, but we think Mom was embarrassed about the type of man her father turned out to be, and then she was too stubborn to admit she’d behaved badly.” Gusta gazed out at the lake. “She let pride and stubbornness guide her.”
Web placed a finger under her chin, turning her face to meet his gaze. “Then you come by it naturally.”
“What do you mean?”
He’d seen the flicker of her eyes. “Stubbornness. When are you going to admit you love me?”
He heard her indrawn breath.
“If I got the stubbornness, you certainly got the pride,” she snapped. “Am I supposed to be so grateful the great Charles Webster takes me to his bed that I should prostrate myself, declaring my undying love for him? When have you ever said you love me?”
“Every night for the past few weeks,” he all but shouted.
For a moment, she looked frozen with shock, then she waved a hand as if to dismiss his words. “Easy enough to say when you’re in the midst of—”
“Making love,” he finished. “It’s what we do. Don’t reduce it to mere sex, even though it’s the best sex either of us has ever had.” He fisted his hands on his thighs making an effort to speak more calmly. “You’re scared. You think I’m not? My future lies in someone else’s hands. Your hands, Gusta.”
“But, we hardly know each other. It’s only been a few months.”
“Time has nothing to do with love.” In frustration he rose to his feet, pacing up and down the length of the porch. “You know all there is to know about me. You’ve shared your life with me, until lately. What do I have to do to make you see we belong together? Do I need to get you pregnant to make sure you stay?”
“Pre-pregnant? You want to have children with me?”
“Of course I do! I wish Hope had been mine. I want us to have a family. I want us to be a family! I want to be your birthing coach when our children are born. You know I’d be with you every minute, not off screwing some poor excuse for you.” He tugged at his hair as he continued to pace, although his pacing was more stomping. “I’m not your ex-husband, and you should know that by now. I know you’ve always wanted family and security.”
He stopped to stare at her. “Is that it? You want this place? Are you unwilling to make a commitment until you know the place is half yours? Well, guess what sweetheart. You can have the whole goddamned thing! Or, you can run back to that asshole you were stupid enough to marry and see if he’ll take you back. I’m done trying to prove myself.”
Web spun on his heel and marched to the garage. He didn’t look back, too afraid of what he’d see. He got into his Jeep and drove off.
What a bloody fucking mess he’d made.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Gus remained where Web had left her. What a fool she’d been. She’d been so busy grieving the past few weeks, she’d shut out Web. For grieving is what she’d been doing.
Talking with Alice had let her see a different side of the girl, and later woman, who had been her mother. Gus had been grieving for what Julia had lost; her father, her best friend, her mother. The last two were due to Julia’s own stubbornness, pride—whatever. Still, they were losses.
Gus grieved for the parents she’d lost. Would Julia ever have told her the truth if Gus had been more persistent with her questions? That, she would never know.
She grieved for the loss of Hope. Gus thought she’d done plenty of it during Hope’s illness, but she’d come to r
ealize she’d just been doing what was needed to get through each day. She hadn’t really given herself a chance to deal with the emotions that had been swirling around inside. Rather than look at what she was feeling, she’d opted to deal with what was happening around her.
Gus also grieved for the loss of the grandmother she’d come to know through other people. She’d come to love the person she hadn’t gotten to meet, and mourned that loss.
In a strange way, she had also been grieving for the loss of herself. The person she’d been, the person she’d always known. Losing her daughter had changed her. No one could lose a child and not be changed. It was the direction of those changes that made a difference.
Because she’d made a promise to Hope, Gusta was embracing life and all it had to offer.
Her name was another change she was embracing. Her ex had always called her Gus. When she and Steve first met he’d said it made her “one of the guys.” Later, she wondered if he continued calling her that to undermine her femininity. Sadly, it had worked. But, she would never introduce herself as Gus again.
Before Web, the only person to call her Gusta had been her mother. He’d refused to call her Gus, saying it was too masculine for her. In truth, he made her feel very feminine.
And, rather than share what she was feeling and thinking with Web, she’d kept it to herself. For the first time, she’d been totally selfish and thought only of herself.
She would also admit to being a coward, just as Web had accused. Gusta heard his vows of love each night. But, instead of glorying in them, sharing them, she’d remained quiet, convincing herself they were only said in the heat of passion.
She and Web certainly had plenty of passion, she thought with a small smile.
She did love him. More than she would have thought possible. But, she was afraid. She’d lost everyone she’d ever loved.
Would it hurt any less if she lost Web without declaring her love?
Gusta knew Web didn’t mean what he’d said about Steve. The asshole part was correct, but if she tried to return to Oregon and her ex, Web would drag her back by her hair, if necessary.
She jerked as she realized how true that thought was. Web wasn’t about to let her go. He’d yelled and stomped because he was hurt and scared. Scared she didn’t love him as much as he loved her.
She hugged that knowledge to her like a warm blanket. Then, she was laughing at the sheer joy of knowing she was so loved. Even if Web had never said a word, he’d shown his love for her in numerous ways. Like the new tires he’d had put on her car. She’d been so busy wallowing she hadn’t even thanked him.
But, she would. Just as Alice Webster had advised, Gusta could make her future better than she’d imagined.
Alice had also said family was more important than a place, and she was right.
Gusta knew what she had to do.
♥•♥•♥
“Web! What are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you, too, Dad.”
Joe opened the door wider to let his son enter the house. “We weren’t expecting you. You know you’re welcome any time.”
Web walked in, hands stuck in his pockets, shoulders slumped. “Yeah.”
“Web.” Alice came forward to give him a hug, then stepped back studying him. “Charles Webster, what did you do?”
“You two sure know how to make a guy feel welcome.” Web went into the living room and threw himself into an armchair.
“Hi, honey. Nice to see you,” Alice said drolly. “Now, why are you here and where is Gusta?”
Web ran his hands over his face. “Gusta is home. I’m here because I’m as big a jackass as her ex-husband.”
“I doubt that,” assured Alice. “From what you’ve told us, you’d have to go some to be worse than the creep she was married to.” She stepped over to brush her fingers through his hair. “Want to tell us what happened?”
“No,” he said on a gust of breath, “but I will. I lost my patience. She’s been so…quiet since your visit. She used to come home from work with stories of who she’d met, what was happening around town. Lately, it was like she crawled into a shell.”
“And, she didn’t take you with her?” Alice added softly.
Web shook his head. “I tried to get her to talk to me, tell me what she was thinking. She kept brushing it off, but she’s become so…sad. Then I got angry because she wouldn’t admit she loves me. Idiot!” he muttered. “I told her she was a coward, but I’m the one who’s afraid.” He looked up at both parents. “I’m afraid she’s thinking of leaving me.”
Joe barked out a laugh. “So you left her first?”
“Sort of,” Web admitted. “I said some nasty things. She’ll probably never forgive me, and I can’t blame her. I left before I could make it any worse.”
Joe and Alice exchanged a look. “True love,” they said together.
“Do you know she was homeless?” Web said. “The last few months before she came here she was living in her car and Hope’s hospital room. She needs the security of Gran and Pop’s place. She needs to know she’ll always have a home.”
“She needs more than a home.”
Web ignored his mother and continued. “She needs Gran’s money, too. She’s got huge medical bills.” He got up to pace around the room. “All she wanted out of her divorce was child support, and that bastard dragged out the proceedings so he wouldn’t have to pay. He didn’t contribute one dime to his daughter’s aide.”
Joe stopped Web’s pacing with a hand to his shoulder. “What do you propose we do, son? We could go to Oregon and beat the shit out of him. Will that help?”
“Yes!” Web’s chest deflated with a gust of breath. “No. He’s not worth it.”
“What do you propose to do?” Joe asked.
Web looked from his father to his mother. “Can I stay here a couple of days?”
♥•♥•♥
Three days later, Web returned to Webster. He’d considered staying away longer, to be sure he’d broken the terms of Gran’s will, but his parents had firmly pushed him out the door, claiming he was making them crazy.
Before he left Bangor, he called John Gates. Frustrated at having to leave a message with the attorney’s secretary, he made her repeat the information that he’d been away from Emma’s house more than one night.
Web had no idea what he was going to say to Gusta. Groveling was on the agenda, and she’d rip him a new one for not letting her know where he was. That is, if she still cared. He’d sleep in the basement if he had to, just as long as she gave him another chance.
Finding her car missing from the driveway caused him some anxiety. She was probably still at work, or the grocery store, any number of things. No need to send out a search party. Yet.
His stomach plummeted when he saw the note stuck to the front of the fridge.
Hi Web, Gone for a few days. Don’t worry. Talk to you when I get back. Love, Gusta
His heart soared over her signing the note with love, but where the hell was she? He grabbed the phone.
“Nettie, is Gusta there?”
“Hi, Web. No, she left work early today to go down to Portland. Didn’t she tell you?”
“I—uh—just got home. Is she coming back tonight?”
“Said she had some things to do and was going to spend her days off down there. Don’t you two talk to each other?”
“Sure, just a miscommunication. I was in Bangor.” Web’s grip on the phone tightened.
“Oh, no wonder she asked to stay in my spare room over the store.”
“She stayed with you?”
“Not exactly,” Nettie said. “There’s a little room above the shop. I keep supplies and have a cot up there. She asked if she could sleep up there the past few nights.” When Web didn’t say anything, she went on. “Thought you two had a fight, but I guess she didn’t want to stay home alone with you gone.”
“Right,” Web said quietly. “Thanks, Nettie.” He hung up the phone and leaned hi
s forehead against the cupboard. “Gusta, what have you done?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Gusta was already seated in the attorney’s office when Web walked in. Sparing not even a glance for John Gates, he went straight to her chair and pulled her up into his arms.
“Where the hell have you been? Are you all right?” He gave her no chance to answer, and instead, kissed her soundly before holding her against him.
John Gates cleared his throat, loudly. “Mr. Webster. Please take a seat. You and Ms. Thompson are not my only appointment today.”
Reluctantly, Web released Gusta, allowing her to sit back in her chair. He pulled his own next to her. “It’s a simple matter. The deed needs to be signed–”
Gates held up his hand to stop the flow of words from Web. “The matter of the deed is the reason for this meeting. It appears the two of you are working at cross purposes.”
Gusta and Web looked at each other in puzzlement. Before either could voice a question, Gates continued.
“Mrs. Biddle gave me an envelope to be given to the two of you in case of this occurrence. Since I was not privy to the contents of the envelope, I would ask you open it while in my office. Perhaps it will lead us to our next step.” He handed the envelope across the clean expanse of his desk, waiting for one of them to take it.
Web nudged Gusta and she took it from the attorney’s hand. Opening it with shaky fingers, she withdrew a few sheets of paper and said, “It looks like a letter.”
Spreading out the pages, she and Web put their heads close together to read what Emma had written.
My darling Grandchildren,
Since you are reading this you’ve obviously broken the stipulations of my will. Hopefully, it was for a romantic get-away together. Yes, Web, I’ve tried my hand at matchmaking, despite your pleas never to do so. It is my fondest wish you and Augusta find what Henry and I shared, what Alice and Joe have. At the very least, I hope you’ve gained a fondness for each other as cousins.