by Kamy Chetty
“That would have made the coffee cooler though, wouldn’t it?” he wondered if she said the first thing that came to mind or thought things through.
“Don’t be stupid. Everyone knows you get the coffee maker person to make it really hot. Have you never ordered coffee to go?” she gave him that gaze that made him appear dense.
“I don’t think I have.” He always had someone order it for him. Or he sat down, in a café.
Her arms folded across her chest. “Must be nice to be you. Even for a day.”
The knock on the door was a prayer answered. “Dr Kanna, your next patient is here.” Jessie’s gaze went to Ash and narrowed.
“Thank you Jessie.” Kieran focused on Ash, “Shouldn’t you be getting back to work?”
She stood, shook out the wrinkles in the skirt that fell short of her knee. “Yes, sir.”
He watched her walk to the door. “Ash?”
She took her time turning, giving him ample time to catch his breath, if he needed to. Beauty school probably came with a free course in flirtation. “Yes, boss?”
“Thank you.” He wouldn’t be able to walk into this building and face any of this without this odd stranger at his side. Something he couldn’t explain.
“You’re welcome.” Her lips turned up at the corners and those perfect white teeth gleamed. He totally understood why she had made it as Miss India.
“Kieran, are you ready for your patient?” Jessie’s foot tapped impatiently on the floor as she placed her hand on her hip.
As a senior receptionist, he should have consulted Jessie before offering Ash the job. “Jessie, I really am sorry I didn’t have time to consult you before hiring Ash. Normally I would have left the decision to you, but she’s been my assistant for some time,” he lied.
Her gaze narrowed and she lifted her glasses so they sat up higher on the bridge of her nose. “Mrs Rana is here with her five-month old daughter who has been vomiting since last night.”
Kieran smiled at Jessie who had been with his father for fifteen years. “I’ll make it up to you Jess. Promise.”
She ushered the mother and child into the room. “Child has a fever and is restless.”
Kieran focused on the child the mother carried. His eyesight blurred and then cleared. He passed a hand over the micro beads of sweat on his brow, as his gaze found Ash’s in a plea for help before closing the door. He could do this, but it didn’t mean his heart didn’t shift into second gear.
“I’m Kieran,” he said to the mother who was dressed in a stained cotton orange outfit. Although the family file had her at thirty years, the rings around her eyes made her appear forty-five at least.
The mother brought the child forward and with slumped shoulders, she handed her over with a heavy sigh. Kieran held the crying child, frozen in place, standing in front of her. For a moment his mind was blank. He didn’t have a clue what he was meant to look for, or what his next step was.
“I’m Sandy. She’s been like that for two days now and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t had any sleep.” She collapsed on the chair in front of him.
He looked down at the child and waited for something in his memory to make sense.
At the first knock on the door he called, “come in.”
Ash walked past Sandy and took the child from his arms. She rocked her gently and looked around the room. Walking past him she placed her on the examination bed.
His arm was numb, and still buzzed, but was now lighter. Of course it was, the baby wasn’t in them anymore.
“Kieran, she’s still crying.” Ash stated the obvious.
There were so many reasons he shouldn’t be here doing this type of work. One reason is he could fail and cost someone his or her life. Someone like this child.
“They taught us first aid once when we went on this ship. I had to remember all the steps. This instructor told me to remember my A,B,C,D.” Ash turned to Sandy. “Isn’t it funny how you remember the oddest things at times like these?”
He watched her and wondered if she was for real, or an imagined version of a person he dreamed up. Because surely no one could be that brilliant or naïve all in one go. In her own quirky way, she was helping him remember. Helping the information creep back to where it should be. In the present.
In seconds he was at the baby’s side. A quick assessment gave him all the information he needed. “Ash, can you get Jessie to come in here and call an ambulance for me. We need a transfer to the hospital as soon as possible.”
Sandy who had been watching them quietly, stood when the word hospital was mentioned. “What’s wrong with her? I knew I should have brought her in sooner but Dr Anil was not available.”
He wasn’t about to ask this mother why she didn’t seek medical help when this child needed it and waited for his father. Instead he focused on the hot, squirming child. When the door opened he instructed Jessie to set up for intravenous fluids.
“Sandy, your baby is very dehydrated. She hasn’t been getting enough fluids so we need to get a drip into her arm and deliver some fluids that way.” He wasn’t sure she was listening to what he was saying.
Jessie was already preparing for the infusion. “Does she have anyone we can call?” he asked Jessie who would have read the file.
Jessie shook her head. “Her husband works overseas and her mother works as well. It will be a while before we get word to her.”
Sandy wrapped her hands around her shoulders and rocked back and forth. “My mother was away for a few days and I didn’t know what to do. I knew Dr Anil was away so I thought I would wait for the clinic to open.”
Jessie took Sandy over to the chair and made her comfortable. The fear in her eyes was mirrored in his own. What if he couldn’t save this baby? It would be the past all over again.
The child gave a small cry. This was different. He wasn’t in the middle of nowhere with no medical resources and no help on the way. He had options this time. Five-month-old, dehydrated. Abdomen distended and tender. Eyes sunken. Fontanels sunken. All signs of dehydration.
“Did you change the way you do things in the last few days?” he asked as he looked for a suitable vein to site the drip.
Sandy shook her head. “No, I haven’t changed a thing. Like I said my mother has been away for a few days. I don’t know why this is happening.” She placed her head in her hands and sobbed until her shoulders shook.
There were many causes of vomiting. He was missing something. “Is there something that your mother normally did that you have taken over doing for the baby while she has been away?” Paediatrics was never his strong suit.
Sandy shook her head. Then she lifted her chin. “Well, there is one thing, but I don’t think it’s that. It’s not a new thing. I stopped breastfeeding fully a few weeks ago as my milk has been drying up. We have been bottle feeding her.” Sandy came closer to the bed.
Kieran secured the IV line and Jessie helped him connect the fluids. “So, you and your mum have been bottle feeding her?”
Sandy nodded. “Well, mum has been making up the bottles and stuff. We didn’t want to confuse her but with mum away, I have been making up the bottle feeds.”
Kieran and Jessie nodded, both coming to the same conclusion. Many parents didn’t realise the danger of not mixing formula feeds properly can lead to vomiting in an infant.
The siren of the approaching ambulance could be heard in the distance. Jessie brought Sandy closer and pulled her chair so that she could sit next to the bed and hold her baby’s hand.
Kieran watched the mother and child and felt the numbness in his arm wane. He could see the rewards of practicing medicine and at times like this he was reminded of the passion his father had for the profession. At times like this he was reminded of the love he had for it. Once.
*****
Jessie poked her head into the kitchen. “Ash, that filing still needs to be done.”
Yes, filing. That’s the reason she was here. Be Kieran’s girlfriend and do the
filing. She let out a half-hysterical laugh as she realised the irony in the situation. She was best suited for the filing of her manicured nails, not those dusty files that were sitting at the edge of her small desk of a dinky corner of the office.
Ash was fanning herself with a file as she leaned across the metal filing cabinet when the door to the doctors’ clinic flew open and an elderly couple came in. The older woman, whose face was covered by one of those droopy straw hats, was pulling her husband along. Ash heard gravelly breathing and alarm bells went off in her head. Surely this wasn’t good.
The middle-aged man looked a blotchy red colour, and the salmon coloured shirt he had on didn’t do much for his colour. Somehow this seemed more than a fashion faux pas.
Sounding out of breath herself, the pale, red-faced woman with perfect English accent pointed to her husband. “My husband is having trouble breathing.”
Ash left her filing and joined the pair. She wasn’t sure if rewarding the nice woman for stating the obvious was the right thing to do, but she did give her some help in getting her husband to the consulting room.
Jessie rushed across to join her. “Get Kieran.”
Stunned for a second, Ash looked from Jessie to the man she was supporting, wondering if she should let go and let him fall, or just run out the door. Then like she’d been given a jolt of adrenaline, she grabbed Jessie’s hand and placed it where her own was, before she bolted towards Kieran’s office and banged into the draw she’d left opened. A colourful, silent curse, then she limped towards Kieran’s office. After one knock, she stumbled into the room, only to see a startled Kieran look up from his paperwork.
In three strides he was beside her. “Ash, are you okay?” His hand went instantly to her knee. In a space of seconds there was a small pooling of blood, which was now slowly trickling down her leg in a very unfashionable way. She wiped at it and pushed his hand away.
“Nothing, I am fine. Office. Man. Breathing.” Ash pointed to the door.
His gaze followed her hand, and he stood in confusion. “Someone is bleeding?”
Jessie’s voice was more of a scream from beyond his room. “Kieran, bring the oxygen and crash cart.”
The darkness in his gaze looked a lot like fear. She’d tasted it before a contest, but she’d never seen it so stark and alive in someone else before. So real. “Kieran, go.”
It seemed like eternity that his gaze kept hers, but she knew it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. She wasn’t sure what had gone on within those seconds except that when it was over, Kieran reeled back, and then rushed out of the room like he was being chased by a storm.
Righting herself she followed his path, all the while hearing him give orders to Jessie. The instant she entered the office, his eyes locked with hers. “Ash. Call the ambulance.”
She wasn’t sure what she said, or how she got through the conversation, all she knew was that Jessie helped when the operator needed more details. When she placed the receiver back in its place she looked around and saw the frightened woman standing in the corner of the open office, watching as they attached tubes and monitors to her husband.
She almost resorted to speaking in the language that gave her comfort. The anxious woman watching their every move would be confused. “My name is Ash, I work here. What is your name?”
“Mandy. My name is Mandy and that is Stuart. He was fine. Then he started swelling up and saying he couldn’t breathe. I don’t know what happened.” Ash handed Mandy a box of tissues and she took a few and blew her nose before taking a few more. She wiped her eyes.
“He is in good hands. Dr Kanna is a good doctor.” Ash kept her hand on the woman’s shoulder wondering if the man who looked like a red balloon on the couch was going to recover. He looked like he was about to explode. His skin was blotchy. A quick look at Kieran made her pause. That fear was a thick cloak around him. Why was he scared of practicing medicine? It should be like walking down a runway. Even if you hadn’t done it in a while, it came back. Didn’t it?
*****
Adrenaline coursed through Kieran’s veins with such force his heart lurched against his chest in protest. Whether he could do this task or not was not up for debate. The man in front of him was losing consciousness. His skin was pale and taking on the grey ugly colour that spelt death. He could hear Ash’s voice, her sweet lilting voice as she spoke to Mandy, this man’s wife.
“I’m so glad we found a doctor who speaks English.” Mandy sniffed into her tissue. “He never gets sick. He’s fit and healthy. Always eat organic food.”
He took the oxygen mask and placed it over Stuart’s face. He’d already been reminded once today of the steps he had to remember. They were like words to a favourite song he hadn’t sung in years. A for Airway.
He checked the airway, compromised. He wasn’t supposed to move past A unless it was sorted.
He couldn’t do this. He was going to lose this patient. This man. This person who was Mandy’s husband. How dare he think he could come in here and practice medicine again? The man clutched at his chest and all Kieran saw was Johnny all over again. His best friend, the man he couldn’t save when everything depended on it.
“Is he allergic to anything Mandy?” Jessie asked.
Kieran focused on the man in front of him. Stuart. His lips were bluish now. He could hear the wheeze, see the rise and fall of his chest. He’d watched helpless as Johnny had clutched onto life. The similarities made his insides churn. He looked for an escape, a way out. His gaze lifted only to see Ash watch him with such faith that he stumbled.
Jessie was getting nowhere with Mandy who was now in full panic mode as she realised how dire the situation had become. As the tension heightened in the room Kieran felt relief from the heat when Ash swung around causing a slight breeze as she settled between him and Stuart. She held Mandy’s hand and pulled her closer.
“Stuart is in very good hands, Kieran is a brilliant doctor. Time magazine said he is one of the best minds in his field,” she winked at him.
He wasn’t sure which to be more surprised at, that she read Time magazine, or that she was stretching the truth. Time magazine was talking about his development of a software programme, and it had nothing to do with his skills as a doctor.
She then lowered her head and those fringed lashes settled making her appear serious. “Is he normally well? Is there anything that might make him ill? Allergic?”
Mary shook her head and then stopped. “Well he gets hives when he drinks white wine, but we weren’t having wine. We were having shellfish.”
His gaze caught Ash’s. He shook his head, more in disbelief than anything else. Ash had a talent for asking exactly the right questions.
Kieran looked at the monitor. “Get me the adrenaline.” He addressed Mandy. “Did you know that some white wines have shellfish in them?”
Mandy rubbed her red eyes. “No, I can’t say I knew that. We hardly ever drink wine or eat shellfish. But we were here at the seafood place down at the beach. Everything in Goa is like Paradise and we had to try the seafood. That Portuguese restaurant is amazing. It was our anniversary. Forty years.”
He hadn’t known much about wine himself until his trips abroad to New Zealand and Australia. That had seemed like a lifetime ago.
Jessie handed him the Epipen, which he then injected into Stuarts’ thigh. As he turned up the oxygen flow, he turned to Mandy who watched his every move with suspicion.
“Your husband has had an allergic reaction. I have given him an adrenaline shot. That will help reverse the effects of the allergen but we need to send him to hospital to make sure he doesn’t have a rebound reaction when this wears off. We also have to give him antihistamines to help him feel better.” He paused to make sure Mandy took in all that he had said. “He’s going to be fine. He is highly allergic to shellfish, so keep that off your menu.”
Ash took hold of Mandy’s hand. “That’s a relief to know what to look out for so this never happens again. Would you
like me to make some tea? It might help you feel better.”
Mandy nodded. “That sounds nice.” She bent her head closer to Ash. “He’s going to be okay.”
Kieran watched Ash as she spoke quietly to Mandy. Those eyes sparkled again and when she swept her hair aside he was sure the air in the room changed.
The sound of her laughter was like raindrops tinkering on the window pane. “Aren’t you lucky you chose to come into our office?”
The lump in his throat made swallowing difficult. With those green eyes, maybe she was bewitched. It wasn’t possible to be that unaffected by all that had happened today. Was she aware of the seriousness of what could have been? That child could have been seriously ill. What if he couldn’t get a line in, or couldn’t diagnose the cause of the dehydration? He could have lost that baby.
What about this man who’s fighting for his life? This man could’ve died. He could’ve stopped breathing. His heart could’ve stopped beating. Anaphylaxis could be fatal.
His right arm ached, the pins and needles came back and he had to shake off the feeling again. It became harder to control the feeling. He clenched his hands into tight fists. He knew if he didn’t, the tremors would start.
He was a useless doctor. He’d tried to recover from this problem like an addict would, but he’d always come back to this psychological block. He accepted his fate, his skills was better served behind a desk. Better running a software design programme company instead of being out here being a doctor.
The psychologists said that it was all in his head. There was no physical reason for the weakness in his hands. He’d tried so many times to crack that wall but each time he picked up a scalpel, the result was always the same, his arm would become so numb that it turned to ice.
Relief poured through him when the ambulance siren could be heard in the distance. Glad that in a few minutes he wouldn’t have to be responsible for the life of this man, he wrote his notes making sure he had every detail in order.
Mandy tugged his hand as he rose to leave. “Doctor, thank you so much for saving my Stuart’s life. He’s all I have in this world. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”